8:34 AM
I was out in the village this morning, picking up breakfast for myself at Qualitea, which I found to be begrudgingly delicious and I saw the back of a person with suspiciously red hair. If my brother is visiting from London and decided not to stop by and say hello before he went back to the big city, please do not report me to the village police as I beat him about the head with my Quidditch broom.
Warded to Hermione
I miss us. Any chance we could have a sophisticated outing soon? And by "sophisticated outing" I mean "girly sleepover at my apartment where we drink too much wine and eat our weight in crisps".
Warded to Dan
I just wanted to say a belated "Happy Birthday". I'd say it in person but...I'm avoiding you. Have you noticed? Please don't take it personally. I just...need to get you out of my system. Again, hope your birthday was nice.
Warded to Andrew
You never told me how lunch with Oliver's fam went! Were they suitably impressed with your impeccable manners? Similarly, is Oliver impressed with all shagging you're probably having? I wouldn't know about because you haven't bloody told me about it yet, you dirty wanker.
Also, did I tell you I also almost shagged my boss on his desk the other day? Oh, I didn't mention it? How silly of me. And that he was my mystery Halloween hookup? And that every time I head into work its an exercise in horrifying sexual frustration? I didn't tell you this? That's strange, because it's slowly driving me insane.
Warded to Hermione
I miss us. Any chance we could have a sophisticated outing soon? And by "sophisticated outing" I mean "girly sleepover at my apartment where we drink too much wine and eat our weight in crisps".
Warded to Dan
I just wanted to say a belated "Happy Birthday". I'd say it in person but...I'm avoiding you. Have you noticed? Please don't take it personally. I just...need to get you out of my system. Again, hope your birthday was nice.
Warded to Andrew
You never told me how lunch with Oliver's fam went! Were they suitably impressed with your impeccable manners? Similarly, is Oliver impressed with all shagging you're probably having? I wouldn't know about because you haven't bloody told me about it yet, you dirty wanker.
Also, did I tell you I also almost shagged my boss on his desk the other day? Oh, I didn't mention it? How silly of me. And that he was my mystery Halloween hookup? And that every time I head into work its an exercise in horrifying sexual frustration? I didn't tell you this? That's strange, because it's slowly driving me insane.