Portland Net

So... Not that I want to alarm anybody, but after I was accosted for no reason by someone in line getting a donut, I decided to do an aura scan. (Okay fine, so maybe I was asking for suggestions on which kind of donut to get because really, there are tons of different flavors, and I wasn't sure if I wanted something more fruity or more chocolatey. So, I decided on chocolatey. But my point is that it's no reason to attack someone like that.)

Where was I?

Oh yeah! Aura scan. Basically... everyone's aura is looking a little bleak these days, guys.

Question.

And be perfectly honest here, okay guys? This is kind of important.

Okay so...

Would you rather go back in time, meet yourself and be best friends with yourself, knowing there's a possibility you won't like yourself? Or would rather go into the future to meet your future self and be best friends with your future self, knowing that you might die at any moment?

Also... since it's 2014, that means I'm gonna be 10-years-old this year. And... 22-years-old. Wait, I'm not sure how that works.

Oh!

A wormhole? COOL!


Just reverse the polarity, and it'll send everyone back. Where can I buy a toaster?