I can't sleep. I hate this. I don't like all the keeping secrets. Not just now but all the time, when something happens, people talk about it in their own groups and maybe one person has one friend outside that they talk to and that's the only way information spreads, practically by luck. How awful would it be if there was someone out there who had some ability that could fix everything, and they were sitting there without a clue there was anything wrong because no one thought to tell them? Or if between everyone we could put all the clues together and come up with the answers?I can't believe I talked like that to Mr Argent butWe always tell new people how nice and welcoming and helpful people are but right now it feels like a bit of a fraud. Who really has a friend group that extends out from the people they knew back home? I know I don't. I'm bad at making friends as it is, most people I knew in New York I'd known for ages. And here there are people I like but we all spend so much time in our own groups, except maybe at work, and the only other refugees at the bakery are my bosses. I talk to people but I never really know what they think of me, or if they think of me at all. I almost wonder if it would be better if Holly randomly assigned housing, sometimes... Like, I'm not saying I don't want to live here, I'm just sitting here thinking too much about how maybe this whole sort of mini society thing would be a bit more healthy if we were forced to mix it up a bit. Maybe some of these problems we've been having wouldn't even happen to start with. Or maybe it would be worse. I don't know. I just know that right now everything's awful, with Allison, and Liam, and no one telling each other anything, and I feel so disconnected from everyone else because there are so many secrets. And I'm probably going to feel really, really stupid in the morning.
How are you? Sorry you got here in the middle of this.It'sI hope Allison's