Portland Net

So, your brother got the motherlode, I see? He thinks I'm going to go after Robin.

I'm just saying this so we're clear. If you ever come after Robin for anything, I'll kill you. And that's if she doesn't kill you first.

Thank you, to everyone who made The Red Rooms such a success over the holiday period. To the dancers who agreed to wear (and remove) the outrageous costumes and to the patrons who enjoyed the show so much they came back again and again for more.

And to Damon. We really have grown up this year, haven't we? Cheers, mate!

Has anyone seen any remains or leftovers from the carnival since since it disappeared? I'm going to guess no.

Private to Derek, Rogue, Molly, Karolina, Krissy, Steve, Tony, Cora, Enzo, Quill and ... Rocket.

Hey ... so, Faith's birthday is on the 14th and since she clearly has a feeling that I won't do anything for it, well, I have to prove her wrong. I rented out Oaks Park don't ask me how, I'll never tell for four hours on the 14th. 11-3. It would be pretty sweet if you guys showed up, she'll love it even if she pretends not to. Let me know if you can make it.

Private to Faith
Do you have to work tonight?

Private to Bonnie
Have you heard from Kol?

Private to Whovians/Torchwoodians and Enzo

So, in celebration of River returning to a better place (and of course, this dodgy sort of body swap thing), I say we have a party at our house.

Feel free to invite all your friends.

Private to Derek

Hey, dork. Why aren't you out here slaying zombies with me? Don't tell me you got scared.

Private to Liv

You're lucky I love you.

Private to Elijah

You can come back again. I'm still undecided on your brother.

Private to Molly

Been keeping yourself busy?

Private to Rogue

How's things next door?

Private to Enzo

I'm calling out sick. Don't die, k? Feed Damon to the zombies if you get desperate.

Private to Cora

Tell your sister not to be surprised if I'm standing outside. Derek asked me to keep an eye on you two.

Has anyone seen Damon in the last twenty four hours?

Private to Katherine and Enzo
Where was Damon the last time you spoke with him? He says he's trapped somewhere with Tom and I'm guessing his phone is dead now.

I hope nobody had any zombie friends on Edgecliff Rd since I just set a group of them on fire.

This is what Aria looks like. If anyone sees her please let me know.

Darling, have you been keeping up to date with local events? Do me a favour, don't head out onto the streets to do anything daring and brave for a while. This virus looks as though it might be serious.

In other news, have you seen the network? Someone has a doppelgänger!

This is totes some weird movie induced dream, right? Because nobody sane would be talking about wormholes or zombie infections.

I’d like to wake up now.

Are there any dream people out there that would like to take me to 2902 NW Raleigh St? I was told to go there.

I'm sorry.

Note: Bonnie's replies at this point are hours later after this initial network post.

[ Private to Damon ]

Have you heard from your brother since we brought him home?


[ Private to Amy ]

Darling, everything went without a hitch. We're all safe - please don't hurt my precious man-parts for helping Damon!

Hello luv, just wanted to let you know that I've been press-ganged into helping Damon rescue his rather dull brother from an annoying immortal vampire-wizard. I've been assured by my good friend that we're not going to die, so I'll see you soon!

I'm going to need your help.

Silas is pretending to be Stefan. Robin was trying to get the cure from me.

Text to Enzo (Saturday afternoon):

» We're having a BBQ pool party. Want to join?
» I'll even let you put sunscreen on me.

Private to River

I love you.

And we aren't about to be attacked by an invasion of monsters, so I'm not saying it because of that. And if you need me to come over, I will. I don't mind seeing you naked anyway. :)

Private to Enzo

So, the whole naked hide and seek thing didn't really pan out, because apparently we all have a lot of feelings around here. However, I wouldn't be opposed to seeing you if that's something you might be interested in?

Added later...
Private to the Doctor and Clara

I think you both owe River an apology. I don't care who was right or who was wrong, but no one here is going to treat my daughter like she's the bad guy in this situation. Because she isn't.

No one cares if you're shagging or whatever the hell you're doing. But someone's got to make you realize how much you're hurting people.

Am I gonna get fired cause I don't actually have clothes to take off at work?