Portland Net

Apparently my dog's forgotten how to play fetch and developed a taste for raw potato.

That... sort of makes it sound like I was throwing raw potatoes at her. Two separate events. She's hidden (maybe buried?) all the tennis balls and got into the cupboard under the sink while I was fetching dinner, just to be clear.

River

You're quiet. Do you still exist?

Private to River

Are you okay? You weren't at that school when the fire started, were you?

Uhm.

Where's Rose?

Tony
Heard about the fire, you holding up alright?

River
Hey gorgeous, how are you doing?

Lydia
Please tell me you weren't at a sorority house last night.

Since the Wormhole's mandatory naked time is done and summer's officially over, it's time for one last bit of fun before the weather turns on us. BBQ at my place on Saturday, roughly 2pm until whenever. For anyone who needs the address, just PM me. If you want to have some fun and good food, be there. If you show up and act like an arse, I'll show you to the door.

Gwen and Ianto:
No excuses since naked time is over. I expect to see you both there.

I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused you all. I'm sorry I can't be The Doctor you all want me to be, but there just isn't enough of me to be everyone all at once.

Which means all I can be, right now, is me. Accept that or don't, it's your choice. I'd obviously love it if you want to be with this Doctor, but Portland has changed me immeasurably and I can't live up to all your expectations.

So, I have decided to move out. Clara's coming with me and you're all incredibly welcome to visit us and the TARDIS any time you'd like. I think it's for the best, but I love you all.

I'm getting very tired of Ianto trying to lecture me about how I should be acting towards him. We're all from different points in time and he doesn't know me the way he thinks he does. Hell... based on when he's from in my past, he barely knows the real me at all.

I don't give a damn if he has a problem with you girls and the Doctor. We've faced countless dangers as Companions and would all do it again in a heartbeat. He doesn't understand what it means to be a Companion and I doubt he ever will. We're a family... the Children of Time. And no matter what, we always have each other's backs.

But if he forces the issue, he's not going to like the outcome and who I stand with.

Private to River

I love you.

And we aren't about to be attacked by an invasion of monsters, so I'm not saying it because of that. And if you need me to come over, I will. I don't mind seeing you naked anyway. :)

Private to Enzo

So, the whole naked hide and seek thing didn't really pan out, because apparently we all have a lot of feelings around here. However, I wouldn't be opposed to seeing you if that's something you might be interested in?

Added later...
Private to the Doctor and Clara

I think you both owe River an apology. I don't care who was right or who was wrong, but no one here is going to treat my daughter like she's the bad guy in this situation. Because she isn't.

No one cares if you're shagging or whatever the hell you're doing. But someone's got to make you realize how much you're hurting people.

The Doctor's Companions (Jack is a Companion) & Gwen

So we're clear, I generally only accept invitations to dubiously sexual group activities with people I'd like to have sex with, and unless we're talking about people I'm never going to see again it usually takes me a while to decide if I want to. Naked movie night, whatever. Naked twister, not unless you're actually propositioning me. It's very quaint and old-fashioned of me, I know, but I happen to like quaint and old-fashioned.

Added:
River

Ugh. I slept on it and I'm still cranky at pretty much everyone except you. How are you today? I can do coffee and sympathy.

Well, this is going to be awkward!

Anyone up for a game of naked hide-and-seek?

BTW... yes, the gun range is open for business.

Well that's one way to get me out of my clothes. Points for creativity to the wormhole.

To The Doctor
( Another envelope with 'Hello Sweetie' on it, filled like the last time, tucked on the console of the TARDIS, left for when he's got time to peruse at his leisure )

Charlie and Jody both gone. Confirmed a few others using a system ping on the database for that security app we designed during the invasion, but since it only included people who were a) here then and b) installed it, it's not very thorough and no major surprises.

River

I could probably do with that hug now. I'm (sort of) on your side of town, mind if I drop by?

Friends who haven't been announced missing - Darcy, Charlie, Jack, River, Martha, Claudia, Billy, Teddy, Caspian

Do you still exist? Please be

Well, at least I can do gymnastics like I used to again. Not sure anyone would believe that I'm the instructor in this state though.

How did everyone else fair?

I... are you kidding me right now?

...no this isn't right. Not at all. I can understand being pulled out of a vortex, but not a wormhole. Of course we don't really know how this bloody thing works, but this isn't my mum's, and this isn't Germany. And right now we don't have the technology to do much with holograms other than celebrities making appearances on the telly. So the idea of there being a holographic doctor that actually can give an accurate prognosis?

If I am in that other reality - the one with the zeppelins... No. I haven't seen any zeppelins and I apparently have a room in a house-

I don't know exactly what's happened. But apparently I can't get out of here the way I got in. It isn't working. And I need to get to my destination. This flight was not supposed to have a layover!

Alright Martha... Think it through. Indigo isn't working. You have the key but it's useless without the other three and the command computer. Figure out where you are, specifically. See if HQ can send someone in... The General is going to be very disappointed in the-

Wait... is that the Sun?

Jesus, I'm busy for five friggin' minutes and this whole thing explodes.

Look, can those of us who fight things that go bump in the night agree not to publicly announce that we'll go after possessed teenagers? Yeah? Maybe? (I know this is rich coming from me, shut up.) Or possessed anyone. At least keep your foot-in-mouth behind a filter.


Teen Wolf kids:

For the record, none of the hunters have any kind of sights on you or your pack or your friends.

You have got to be shitting me, I'm back on earth? THE Earth? Please tell me the music is still as good as it was in the eighties, I might actually tear up if it's not. Well probably not but you get what I'm saying.

[Private to the Doctor]

I never did tell you what I named the puppy! He's Ockora, of course named after the planet, and he's growing by the hour it seems.

Thank you, again, for him.