Portland Net

Jeremy's gone. I brought him breakfast this morning but he's just gone.

I guess it doesn't matter where I end up. Can't seem to catch a break.

I found what I was looking for.

Do you think it's a good idea to keep the fact that I'm a witch sort of quiet, or does it matter here? I want to talk to the other witches but Is it safer for me to just lay low? I don't know how to act here or I would never. ever. ask you.

Have you spoken to Davina?

A week ago I was sitting in the Quarter, drinking a latte, and thinking about how my life couldn't get any weirder. I'm never doing THAT again.

Now what? I just... register for school tomorrow and act like everything is fine? Do I need to find someone to pretend to be a parent to check me in? Exactly how does this work? You'll have to forgive me. I've never been sucked into a wormhole and deposited in the Pacific Northwest before.

Private to Elijah, Niklaus and Hayley
Well, oh wise brothers of mine, what shall we do now?

Personally, I'm inclined toward killing his "dark queen".

Private to Santana
I've leased a flat not far from here in Dani's name. I would like you to stay there for the time being. And while I don't begrudge you your little games, you need to start her on vervain again. Immediately.

I will be sending another houseguest along as well.

Private to Matt
I have a favor to ask of you.

He's back.

I think I'm ready to come home.

This is a joke, right? A sick, twisted, spun around joke. I honestly don't have the time for this. I mean, Portland? Why not just stick me in Chicago and end my misery? This joke could have least picked a better city.

Private to Elijah
How is our little one? I miss her so very much.

Private to Santana
Is Dani doing alright, love?

Private to Cassie Blake
How are you?

Private to Derek

Hey, dork. Why aren't you out here slaying zombies with me? Don't tell me you got scared.

Private to Liv

You're lucky I love you.

Private to Elijah

You can come back again. I'm still undecided on your brother.

Private to Molly

Been keeping yourself busy?

Private to Rogue

How's things next door?

Private to Enzo

I'm calling out sick. Don't die, k? Feed Damon to the zombies if you get desperate.

Private to Cora

Tell your sister not to be surprised if I'm standing outside. Derek asked me to keep an eye on you two.

Private to Steve
I haven't heard from you. Have you healed?

Private to Viktoria
I do hope you're staying out of trouble.

Private to Allison
Are you and yours safe?

Private to Elena
How are you, Elena?

I've got your girl and before you get your little thousand year old panties in a twist, she's fine. I ain't gonna hurt her unless you bunch of brainiacs decide to fuck with me. Homegirl's got a problem. Now if you're really a thousand than you probably already noticed she's a blood junkie. I'll be real with you. The only reason she isn't dead is cause my girlfriend thinks she can be saved and I love my girlfriend and I hate letting her down. So I'm putting Hayley on vampire rehab. No blood, no murdering, no being a general asshat. I might be convinced to let you visit her, one at a time but if you try anything I swear to God you'll regret it and so will Hayley.

Questions? Concerns? Comments from the peanut gallery?

If any of you would care to visit with Clara and myself, you can find us at [this address on the outskirts of town]. We are a bit isolated so it is entirely safe.

Santana and Dani are staying here for the time being as well.

It's done.

We need to talk.

Who claims this girl?

I'm meeting with Allison's father tonight.

We need to talk. Frankly, I don't want to, but it seems as if you have friends who think highly of you.