Portland Net

What does Castiel like?

Oh, those days you realize how screwed up your entire life sounds from the outside when you're just trying to explain how normal and boring it really is.

I need a drink.

[Public]

I got tired of scrolling through this thing. It's Billy Kaplan - anyone here know me or Teddy?

[Filtered to Molly Hayes]

Hey! Teddy and I just got here this afternoon. Where are you? Are you safe? Are Nico and the others here?

[ filtered against SPN demons (crowley & ruby) ]

So. Anyone who's been here for more than a few weeks should be aware that sometimes, the people-- or beings-- that come through the wormhole aren't always friendly. Some of them are very hostile, and we seem to be in agreement that we deal with those by defending ourselves. There's also a mostly unspoken agreement that anyone who doesn't pose a direct threat to anyone's health gets a second chance or a clean slate, even from a horrific past, a chance to have a different life in a new world.

I'm not going to argue with that, and from the things I'm about to write, it's going to be obvious why I won't. It'd be hypocritical. But there is someone that's arrived through the wormhole that's made me conflicted over whether that clean slate is a good idea. I'm not going to break the agreement, but I do want to warn you. I wasn't sure if I should do this, but since two of my friends, coming at this from two different angles, have encouraged me to do it, it's what I'm going to do.

( cut for leeeength but still under the same filter-- there's a lot of canon history here to cover and sam is sparing none of the details )

That's all. Well, it's not all, but it's enough. [...] If you've made it this far, thank you for hearing me out. And if you've skimmed to the end, my point was: never trust a demon. As Ruby herself put it, lying and manipulation are in the demon job description.

[ team free will ]

I'm coming home now.

[ ruby ]

Getting comfy yet?

[ team free will ]

So. Ruby.

I don't

Team Free Will + Co.:

I'm up, I'm kicking, and I'm totally human. I know you all pulled it out for me. I was a real douchebag at the time, but I appreciate it. I'm proud to call the bunch of you my family.

I won't do that again if I can help it.

Gabriel:

So, this new squiggle on my arm. Lay the rules on me.

Finn Hudson:

Sorry for ditching you. It's been a rough few weeks. Did all your friends pull through?

SAM & CAS:

Big group of monsters coming together near the Grotto.

Yippee ki-yay, motherfuckers.

I was just passing by the Grotto, you know, taking my afternoon stroll, smelling the blood and fear in the air, loving it all of course. Don't you feel it? The hate and the violence? It's like bloody Christmas around here! Anyway, I saw a big conglomeration of baddies all congregated here, werewolves and vampires and who the hell knows what else. Seems like a couple of them from different worlds are joining forces and taking civilian hostages. I say civilians, because none of them seem to be the silly, costume-wearing supersaps that I've been seeing around here lately. They're all wimpy and scared-looking.

Anyway, I figured you might want to test drive your new powers on them, save a couple of meatsuits in the process. You know? Do the thing you do. Well... that is if you think you're up for the task. It might just all be too much for you.

I could... always call the Moose if you think he would be better to handle the situation.

Can you definitely get the demon out of Blaine?

FRIENDS & FAMILY:

I'm good, we're all good, I'm home, I'm not dead, and I'm a demon. We're all up to speed? Great.

If we could avoid practicing exorcisms around me, that would be great.

[ INCOMING CALL: Not Moose ]

Well, this sure ain't where I thought I'd end up.

[ team free will ]

Jody has deputized me as photographer for her scrapbook. This is your only warning.

FILTERED TO THE WINCHESTERS, JODY MILLS, JESS MOORE, + PETER PARKER:

So... do I lose my lesbian card if I sleep with a boy who's currently housed in a really cute female body?

Because if so, whoops

FILTERED TO DEAN + SAM WINCHESTER,
backdated to last week:

Everything's all right

Gabriel hasn't killed me, no need to kill him. Things
are going to be

okay

GABRIEL:

Where the hell is he? If you hurt him, I don't care what your sob story is, I will waste your ass.

( text messages to castiel (cut for length) )

You know, if anyone had told me you could skip off to another planet earth before the big blowout, I may have done that before swooning to ol’ puppy eyes. Backup earth, I’m here, baby.

[Winchesters, Charlie, Jack]
Apparently I've been fundamentally misunderstanding the very basis of conversation. They need to put this sort of thing in guide books instead of "Americans drive on the other side of the road". I can figure that out in a matter of seconds, thanks. "Most Americans do not understand the same basic rules of casual banter" would be a lot more useful.

[Jack]
Which in retrospect probably means I've been acting like a much bigger arsehole than I intended. Not that I was always intending to at all, I mean, but that's not really important. I should What is important is that it probably really wasn't coming across the way I thought, and some of your reactions make more sense now, and I apologise.

[Letha Godfery, Sam Winchester]
For the record I won't be at work on Wednesday. Also June 9. I'm not sure what dates exam season is here, but that presupposes that students actually go to the public library to study.

Dean says that I should rename the rabbit but I feel like it should be the rabbit's choice.



ETA: Princess Fluffles is a male rabbit.