the orient express

Your mum's seven.

You have no idea how hysterical this is to me.

Have you met her yet? The tiny her?

Right.

Guess you've already heard the rumors we might be getting Dementors. So anyone who can cast a patronus, or who can't and wants to learn, a few of us will be working on that. Figure we'll commandeer a car, clear it out some, and work our magic.

So should we run some sort of refresher course on patronuses for everyone? And how do we want to handle it for the train? Let Dorny announce it since I seem to recall she's an expert at that? Or are we keeping it quiet until we've got more confirmation than chocolate? (By the way, Hermione, you should probably hide my chocolate so I don't accidentally eat it some night).

Hello-

So you've both come back.. it's absolutely bizarre how this place works. But you're not- it's probably taken you away from

You're not at all who I

It's really good to see you both, still I'm sorry you're stuck here. Again. I don't know y-

Where exactly are you two from? You both look so much older different.


[ Ron ]

Do you really remember everything?

I'm sorry it's brought you back here- I know, it's different for you now. But, it's still

Brilliant. It's been ages since I've been on this thing.

Who's still here? How long has it been Has it been going on for thirty yea

[Private to Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Lily Evans, Hermione Granger, James Potter]

So...what is the best way to deal with your adult children when they arrive here? I'm finding it rather difficult to know what to say. Should I try to act fatherly? Or would it be more appropriate to attempt to act as a peer, since we are close in age?

[Failed Filter to Hermione Granger]]

/Mum, you know, I think maybe don't tell dad about me and Scorpius? I think...maybe...I don't want him to freak out and I think I'll just hope Scorpius doesn't end up on the train. The less we have to explain the better, right?/

Hey.

Are you all right? I haven't heard from you in a bit.

You didn't get a baby, did you?

Fuck this train.

[Private to Hermione]

Feel like going on a supply run with me? I'm going to try and talk to Ron first.  Maybe it can be like old times.

[Private to Ron]

Hey mate. 

[PRIVATE TO RON WEASLEY]

Daddy, would you like to meet to play chess sometime? I know it's weird and you don't have to, but I'd really like to if it would be okay. I miss you.

[PRIVATE TO PIOTR RASPUTIN]

How the painting coming? Need me to sit for you again?

Fred's here. I feel complete again. Also! This talk-to-text feature is really nifty. No more talking - or yelling! Anyway, onto the actual point Ginny, we should all meet up. We haven't yet, and Ron, I'm sorry about not wanting to talk to you, or anything - George was the only one who understood. Percy, if he - no, okay, no bad blood, we're all trapped on a train together.

Oh, I have a daughter too, which is just too weird. She's older than me! It's like this train is one whacked out Time Turner central. Maybe it is. I don't know. I just know I should talk to her too, if she doesn't hate me. She'll understand though. I mean, crazy train, she has to.

Let's us all get together though. I vote, invading one of the kitchens. Fred, George, bring those candies!

QWERTY
QWErty
12

bloody hell

hell

hello? george?
Are things meant to be this... trainy?

...

...

...what?

( Ron Weasley, you have One (1) New Message )

Oh, blast.

This isn't the ministry, is it?

Well...at least I'm not splinched.

And here I thought I could actually do magic now...

My, this is such a wonderfully strange train! It's not quite like the Hogwart's Express though. Strangely, I do not remember boarding but that could be the work of a Wrackspurt.

Would anybody care to tell me where I am?

It seems I have come across an unregistered portkey.

When I find out whose it is, they will be subject to quite significant fines for such irresponsible use of magic.

For the time being, would someone mind telling me where I am?

The color's gone. Or I've gone color blind.

It's not just me, right? It's all grey outside? That's unnatural.

( Cut for image )