the orient express

So I have intentions of exploring New York, but I don't know if I'm going to like the results. I really should though, see if this is my stop or not. Anyone wann--

I'm going to stop there, it's one of those rare things... a 'stupid' question.

Right, so uh... New York, a few years ago. At least I'm kind of home. Sure, everyone else gets spaceships and exciting an exotic new realities and times. Me? I get New York a few years ago. Exactly the same, just... you know, ... no pretty much exactly the same. Just more Jonas Brothers and less LMFAO.

Great.

... I'm pretty sure I can't leave because if I cross my own path or something, something bad happens right? Where's Marty McFly? Where's DOC BROWN?!

I swear, if this is it? If this is how the world's going to punish me, this is one cruel punishment. I mean really, Shadows on a Train? I feel like Samuel Jackson must have felt on Snakes on a Plane, completely dumbfounded by the absurdity of it.

Yet it's really happening, and it's a bit over the top creepy--so, as little hope it might spring for you, just know that if you need someone patrolling with you, or you want someone to just hang out with because you can't sleep? I'm all for helping. I promise, my jokes stop after 10 pm. ...Maybe.

Seriously? We just ended an apocalypse. Can't I at least take a nap before something else happens?

Where is here, anyway?

I think I just saw a naked man outside the train. So gross.

Train cabin, check. Social networking sight integrated specifically into the train, check. Pandora, check. Runaway time traveling, dimensional hopping train, check. Yea, it all checks out. This is definitely the vacation I NEVER planned on taking.

Where the hell am I? I just got a new job! I'm totally getting fired tomorrow, and it's whoever put me here's fault.