the orient express

Ten thousand house points to anyone who can actually make a wand. There is magical shit in that forest, and I am bringing it all onto the train. I am making a thousand backup wands, and the fact that I don't actually know how to do this is completely irrelevant.

Also, potion things, probably. I'm just saying, LILY. Go hunt some moon flowers or something.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Are you fucking serious?

Really?

Really?

Now??? Son of a bitch!

[Some time later]

That reader thing that was in my room? I need a new one. It broke. And the light fixture. That too. And...I need another pillow.

And who the hell is Hal York and why is his name on my damn door?

If you didn't see I signed you up to be evaluated. =D

Don't kill me.

OH. MY. GOD. What IS this place?! I mean one second I'm just curling my eyelashes at the bathroom sink and trying to tell Sandi that of course mustard is different from goldenrod and that I would never call her new skirt mustard because it's totally goldenrod and goldenrod goes better with her skintone and also mustard has never been on trend ever because it doesn't look good on anyone at all, and the next I'm lying on some bed in a tiny room that isn't even decorated right because there's no mirror and the closet is too small with a window that looks onto some gross corn field and there's this ugly wolf carved into the door, I mean what is that about? Anyway I want to go to Cashman's since I just got Daddy to pay me for getting a C on my math test, anyone know where the Fashion Club is? They totally need to come with me since there's a new limited edition lip gloss collection coming out soon and I think there's one that will go perfectly with Sandi's new goldenrod skirt and set off her brand new highlights! Except then she'll need to find a top in a nice complementary neutral and everyone knows Sandi hates neutrals, but oh well, that's her right as the President! I would never try to take her place and tell her what to do, even if neutrals look way better on her than those bland pastels she always wants to try. So which way is Cashman's?

I think I've lost my banana. Has anyone seen it?

S
S
S
S
Samantha
Samantha
Samantha Mary Parkiiiiiiington
Parking ton
Parking ton
My name is Samantha Parking ton
I pledge allegiance to my flag and to the republic for which it stands one nation indivisible with liberty and justice for all.
My name is Samantha Parking ton
I am learning how to use this object.
Samantha Mary Parking ton

Does anyone know how to take care of a kitten? I found one alive outside, and I don't actually know anything about taking care of one.

Since Lily is bein

I don't do this organizing bullshit

So right. There's a town, not that far if ... you guys haven't already found it. There's a hotel, mostly clean. By which I mean, mostly free of bodies. No power, but there's a generator if one of our mechanical types can get it going?

I assume it's a generator, anyway. It's big and clunky and in a utilty-looking room. Fucked if I know though.

Some stores, but I think if we want to find perishables that aren't already rotted and gross, we're going to have to find a bigger town. Anyone up for a game of Pop Around the States?

I'm not entirely sure how currency or money works on this train, but as someone who provides a professional service, I feel I ought to extend the opportunity to take advantage of such service to...anyone here. And don't worry about money, really. I've always been a firm believer in the barter system, however payment is required upfront and all terms agreed upon between me and potential clients before hand.

And I promise you, I'm very discreet.

I know it isn't really funny that there might be a vampire on board who wants to kill everyone, but Lord Harry? It just doesn't really strike fear, you know?

So theoretically, say, we're going to die in a giant tin can. Would it be immoral to offer doomsday sex to anyone who would rather die in the throws of passion rather than crushing death?

Would there be anyone interested in something like that? Guys, girls... Age is not an issue. Unless you're under the age of

Oh my Goodness, what is going on?

Um, I'm not sure where to start at all. Bit overwhelming, all of this, bit much to take in. I don't even know what to say...or where to start. I'm Richard, everyone. I'm...well, if anyone would like to know I'm an actor -- best known for a Storytelling series I did (won a BAFTA for it too, not that I'm not to brag). I was just a minute ago having my morning porridge and now I'm here! I'll treat anyone who can tell me what's happening to a pint and the promise of a good conversation, if you like!

Also, hi! :)

we all live on a yellow submarine ... a yellow submarine ... a yellow submarine ...

dear train, you are a train, not a submarine. if you drown me, i will kick you again.

I think I'm hallucinating. Look out the window and tell me what you see.

Did I fall asl

I know you all are having a real good laugh at my expense, I was waiting for Mitchell to bring Annie in the middle of The Real Hustle, and I'd like to get back to it.

If you aren't busy, come to the bedroom. I want to /pet your tiger/.

So, this is fairly impressive as pranks go, and I've been on the receiving end of some great ones. I'd start throwing accusations but I don't think even James is this creative, so instead: can anyone direct me to the kitchen? I think I need a cup of something hot and caffeinated to go with my mild panic attack.

So hey. You think it would be a good idea to pack bags and carry them around in case we do get sucked onto the train when it leaves? I guess it's supposed to take off Wednesday night.

If I dared you to spend Friday night on the train with me, would you?