the orient express

[Filtered to all doctors]

i need to discuss a rather private matter with one of you. immediately.

[Filtered to all downworlders; vampires, werewolves, faeries, witches, wizards, warlocks, ghosts... and demons.]

as much as it loathes me to speak to any of you, i am sure one of you has the resources or abilities to obtain a substance for me. your reward will be that i won't kill you and that is a gift if you ever had one. i am willing to bargain.

>> Up for some research?
>> Meet me in the snack kitchen!

Hey, do you mind if I ask you for a big favor?

I'm innocent. Seriously. I wish I weren't. But sadly I am.

To whoever did this: You are a fucking genius (in case you are not the train). In case it's the train's work: I fucking hate you!

I don't even care that these sweets made me all shiny for a bit - I can eat them. Are there any chocolate liqueurs on the train?

[Filtered to Annie]
We can eat the cursed sweets!

[Filtered to Hermione]
How are you holding up?

I must say it's nice to wake up with my memory all back. Also nice to know I didn't do anything too stupid or anything while I was not remembering things about this train.

When did I get on a train? Don't get me wrong, I've always wanted to go on a train since my grandma isn't too fond of them but still. How the heck did I get on one without even remembering it? Or how did I even afford to get on a nice one like this one?

Ladies and Gentlemen,

here is the thing: I'm bored. Terrifyingly bored.

So, who is up for a prank war?

Here are the rules: don't hurt each other and if there's anything you do not want to be done to you, comment it here. (See, Lily, I've got rules, I'm mature!)

Moony, don't be a spoilsport!

Come on, guys, it's fun!

So you know that amnesia thing that's going around? Hal's got it and he's even less friendly than usual. Well, more of a bastard, anyway. He's not out of control or especially creepy like when he was drunk, so I don't think he's going to do anything stupid. But I wouldn't trust him. Thought I'd let you know - two ghosts better than one and all.

What the fuck is this?

Is this meant to be some kind of fucking joke?

Apparently "resigning" now entails fucking involuntary exile, is that it? Out of sight, out of mind? What next, are you going to rebuild fucking Hadrian's Wall? Actually, you fucking better get building it, because I am about to rain down fucking fury on you from above. You can't get rid of me that easily. I am the fucking heart and soul of your fucking government, so unless you want it to start resembling some fucking piss-soaked tramp lying in a pool of it's own legislative vomit, I highly recommend we cut the crap and fast-forward straight to the fucking make-up sex. Figuratively speaking, you get me?

Holy Rice-a-roni, are you serious? First time I'm here when the train makes people's brains go kablooey, and I don't even get the thing?! How is that even fair! I wanna lose my memory!

I hope I'm not like, immune to the train's particular brand of nutso. That would suck.

Forget it. I'm going to make waffles. WHO WANTS A WAFFLE.

Hello.

It was suggested I post this notice, since I apparently am meant to be cooking meals on this train. I don't know how to cook. I don't know when I learn, either Not proper meals, anyway.

So ... my apologies to anyone I inadvertently shafted this morning in regard to whatever kitchen duties I missed. I seem to be having some sort of memory problem if Severus is to be believed.

Hi Annie. I was wondering, if you weren't too busy, if you could teach me that taste...thing. I want to try it out at the bonfire before we leave. I figure if everyone's drunk, they won't mind so much if I have a taste.

Would anyone be interested in a lake-side bonfire? Something to do before we all get back on the train and are shuffled into whatever trauma it has coming up next? We can make s'mores and stuff. And be social. Because we don't see enough of each other on the train

Edit
So, it looks like we have interest! I guess we're supposed to be leaving in five days, so ... night of the fourth day from now, we'll have a bonfire by the lake. With beer. And wine coolers. And s'mores.

Anyone who wants to volunteer to help set it up would be appreciated. I guess the robots can manage the food stuff.

I have a pretty shabby sum of credits, but it seems there's not much to want for as a ghost (remembered to mention that this time). So I was wondering two things, really. Firstly, are there any must-haves in the 'car chases and explosions' DVD genre that the train's missing? Might make it feel a bit more like home. But secondly, does anybody else with a shabby sum of credits...need anything before I spend the rest on alcohol and food I wish could use? (For the kitchen, obviously.) I can't make promises, but I can try and help you out.

Now that we’re somewhere.. rather more settled. As unsettling as that seems. I’d like to make an announcement.

Apparently the train’s abilities extended from stealing magic and various powers. It was also capable of entirely neutralising common sense. There's just no other way to explain it.

Since I can’t delete them I’d like to retract everything I've said over the past week regarding that series.

Twilight is a .. well, it’s not a book. It’s complete rubbish!

Merlin, I don’t even know where to begin: ‘Bella’ is not a modern heroine, when in fact she more or less barely has a purpose without Edward, her boyfriend to prevent her colliding with everything. Whilst Edward expresses traits not dissimilar to an abusive partner. Constantly telling your girlfriend you could easily kill her by accident is not tragically romantic. It’s horrific.

That’s barely scratching the surface of what’s infuriatingly wrong with it.

I’m also sorry for putting wasted paper with the depth of a puddle before attempting to help with ..patrols, or clearing the vines whilst we were stranded. I can't believe it I'm so

Apparently someone thought it would be amusing to leave me an outfit. I can't change clothes, so if anybody wants anything, they're welcome to it. There's a pair of boots, jeans, singlet, shirt and a pretty cool jacket. Oh, and underthings.

So Annie doesn't remember me. Or hasn't met me. I don't know about you. But I just wanted to check if you were ok? If you're even telling the truth at the moment.

Oh, it's Alex, by the way. In case the pic - or you don't - whatever

Ok, so. I'm pretty sure I didn't go through any magical windows or doors or whatever. And this looks suspiciously like a train and not some ominous death corridor. So if anybody knows why I'm here, I'd like to know what the fuck is going on for once. Thanks.