Sirius's face twisted, the levity gone. "You should go back downstairs, James. Rude, leaving Lily all alone to tend to your guests." He took a long pull from his cigarette, and James was unable to tear his gaze away from the curls of smoke that spilled out between Sirius's lips.

"You're one of our guests. I'm tending to you."

Sirius laughed, a sharp bark of sound that cut through the night air like a blade. "Are you now? I'd like you to. You'd like you to."

Sirius took one last drag of his cigarette and threw it onto the deck, grinding it out with the sole of his dragonhide boot. James swallowed. Blinked. And then Sirius was there, right in front of him, his face just inches away from James's.

"What's it going to be, Prongs? You gonna go back downstairs? Or are you going to stay here and give yourself what you want?" Sirius's breath was hot on James's cheek. His breath smelled of smoke and alcohol—quite a lot of alcohol.

"I…" James shook his head, trying to clear out the strange fuzziness that had crept in, making the whole world seem soft and slow. "And what is it that I want?" James wasn't sure if he knew what he wanted himself, it was all so jumbled up inside of him.

Sirius leaned closer. James shivered as he felt a week's worth of stubble rasp against his cheek. Sirius's lips pressed right up against James's ear. His lips were warm and petal-soft. "You want to get down on your knees and suck my cock." James let out a sound between a whimper and moan, even as he shook his head in pointless denial. "Don't deny it, Prongs. You want to kneel for me. You want to turn around and show me your arse, want me to lick you and fuck you until you can't think anymore. You want me to make it all go away for a little while."

James's cock was hard and straining at his trousers. His knees felt weak, like they too agreed with Sirius's assessment, and wanted to help him reach the ground as soon as possible. It was only his mind that was hesitating, calling up images of Lily, the woman he loved and wanted to start a family with. But even that bright image started to fade when Sirius brought his hand to the bulge of James's erection. Sirius gripped and massaged him, and even though it had been years, he still seemed to remember exactly how James liked it. His knees trembled, and then he was on the ground, kneeling with his back against the wall and Sirius looming over him.

He paused, his eyes flicking between the cloth covered erection in front of his face and Sirius's intent expression. James did want it, but he knew he shouldn't. He wished that Sirius would take the choice away from him, that he would open his trousers, pull out his thick cock, and make James take it. Sirius seemed to know that though—he always knew when it came to James—and he clearly wasn't about to let James off that easily.

"Go on then, take me out."

This time James didn't bother with hesitation. He was already on his knees for Sirius, could see the outline of his cock, could smell the proof of his arousal...James knew there was no way he could walk away now. James undid Sirius's trousers quickly and reached in to pull out his erection. It had been ages since he'd seen a prick that wasn't his own, and he let himself take his fill of the heavy, flushed weight in his hands. Sirius had a beautiful cock, and it was every bit as thick and hard and long as James remembered.

"Suck me, Prongs." Sirius's voice already sounded strained, and James hadn't done much more than touch him. James liked that. He wanted to make Sirius come undone, he wanted to watch and feel and taste him as Sirius lost himself in pleasure. In James.

He opened his mouth wide and took Sirius in. It had been long—too long—and it was awkward at first, remembering how to relax his throat, settling into the ache in his jaw, figuring out the best rhythm, when to suck and bob and flick his tongue. James thought maybe it was like riding a broom, though, because in no time at all he had eased into the beautiful flow of things, his instincts and memories guiding him through.

James wanted to do this forever. He wanted to live in this moment, Sirius's rough hands sliding through his hair, cupping his jaw, his thumb rubbing soothingly along the curve of James's cheek. Sirius's face was contorted in a mixture of euphoria, possessiveness, and pain. It thrilled and filled James with anguished guilt in equal measure. Arousal thrummed through James's veins, his cock pulsing as it rubbed against the seam of his trousers. James knew Sirius was close, and a strange sense of foreboding came over him. He didn't want this to be over. He didn't know what he'd do when this was over. As long as he existed in this perfect moment, everything was okay.

As desperately as he wished it, though, it couldn't last forever. Sirius's hands tightened around the strands of James's hair, and he began to thrust, fast and shallow. James looked up at him as he used James's mouth, not wanting to miss the moment when Sirius finally came. It didn't take long. Soon, Sirius was pressing himself inside, trembling through his release with a rough "James." Pleasure ripped through James as his own orgasm came upon him unexpectedly, though the feeling was almost secondary to the bliss James felt at having made Sirius come.

James tried to swallow it all, grimacing at the taste and texture, so much more unpleasant than he remembered. But it was Sirius, and James didn't know if he'd ever have the chance to do this again, so he greedily chased the taste, licking Sirius's cock clean. James knew this shouldn't happen again—couldn't happen again—but all he could think about now were all the other things he still wanted to do with Sirius. Lust still sparked hot across his every nerve-ending, like he'd been slipped some kind of lust potion, leaving him with a desperate unquenchable need. He wanted to roll over right there on the balcony onto his hands and knees, bare his arse and beg Sirius to fuck him like he used to, fuck him until all that was left in his head were thoughts of "More. Harder. Fuck, Sirius, yes!"

Instead, he grabbed his wand and cast several cleaning charms, while Sirius tucked himself back into his trousers.

"Best be getting back, then." James mumbled.

"Yeah," Sirius replied, a sad smile flitting across his lips. "Lily will be wondering what's taking so long."

"I—" James hesitated. He didn't know what to say, he only knew that he couldn't lose Sirius, not over this, not now. He needed him.

"It's fine, James. We're good. Just taking a little trip down memory lane. You're nervous about the engagement, I get that." Sirius paused, before looking James dead in the eye, his expression serious and honest. "You'll be a good father, you know."

James's eyes widened. "How did you—"

"You've been dating for two years, and all of a sudden you're engaged, and the wedding's in a month? Everybody else has been attributing it to the war, the two of you wanting to get married now, in case you don't get the chance later."

"But not you?"

"I know you better than anybody, Prongs." Something dark flitted over his face, and when he spoke again, his voice was gravel-rough and full of conviction. "I'll always know you best."

"Yeah." James didn't know whether the thought should comfort him or fill him with despair. "Yeah, Padfoot, you will."

This is amazing. It's not only smoking hot, god, it is, so it, but it has all the right James/Sirius feels in the world. It's simply gorgeous, grace. Excellent work. I love it. <3

Thank you so much, hon! I'm glad you enjoyed the tone of this one. :)

Oh my god. I'm dead. This story, Grace. It's so, so perfect. It's exactly what I love about this pairing. I love the angsty feels and the pining - the 'want to but shouldn't'ness of it all. This is exactly the kind of thing I was looking for with the prompt. I love your confident, sexy Sirius and I think I whimpered with James when Sirius told him to suck his cock :D *bites fist*

Then, the revelation at the end and the sad smile and "I'll always know you best." Oh my heart. It hurts so good.

This was an absolutely super read. I loved every moment. Thank you so much for filling my prompt with something so gorgeously hot and full of feels. You're a star! <33

Aww, yay! I'm just thrilled to bits that you enjoyed this! Your prompt definitely called for the sadder, angstier route, and I think it works so beautifully for these two. And, of course, both James and I are quite bit fans of drop-dead-sexy Sirius. :D

I know that we never really got a firm confirmation of when James and Lily married, just that it was sometime after Hogwarts and before they went into hiding while Lily was still pregnant. So I decided to use that to my advantage here.

Anyways, super glad that you liked this little thing! I was thrilled when I saw your prompt and knew I'd have an excuse to write some more of these two. :)