| Title: ...Until your fingers bleed Author: ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) tjs_whatnotCharacters/Pairings: Snape/Lupin, Albus/Teddy unrequited, Teddy/Victoire Rating: NC-17 Kinks/Themes Chosen: Bad Sex cliches Other Warnings: voyeurism, masturbation, anal sex and slightly disparaging comments about Hufflepuff, sorry ‘Puffs! Word Count: 10k Summary/Description: Albus Severus hadn’t gone looking for what he found. He was just sent to get the entertainment for Teddy’s stag party. Author's Notes: Title taken from Melissa Etheridge’s “Silent Legacy.” Thank you so much to atdelphi and redsnake05 for your amazing level of awesome. All remaining mistakes are my own. ( ...Until your fingers bleed ) - Tags:
*fic, 2011-04, author: tjs_whatnot, character: albus severus, character: james, character: remus, character: severus, character: teddy, content: oral sex, content: voyeurism, theme: bad porn
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| Title: The Wizard’s Son Author: gypsyflameCharacters/Pairings: Snape/Draco/Harry Rating: NC-17 Kinks/Themes Chosen: Bad Porn Month. I present to you the classic Farmer’s Daughter cliché – with a Snarco twist. Other Warnings: Where to start? Incest play, consent play, belting/spanking, D/s, humiliation, over-the-top porno dirty talk. Not for the easily squicked! Word Count: ~4200 Summary/Description: A stranded traveller walks up to a country house in the middle of nowhere… Author's Notes: Thanks to A for the beta! ( Read more... ) - Tags:
*fic, 2011-04, author: gypsyflame, character: draco, character: harry, character: severus, content: anal, content: blowjobs, content: cross-gen, content: d/s, content: dirty talk, content: fantasy, content: humiliation, content: role-playing, content: spanking, content: threesome, theme: bad porn
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| Title: Days were Golden Artist: ships_harryMedia: Photoshop, tablet Characters/Pairings: Ron/Ginny/Bill, Charlie/Percy/George, and no doubt many variations. Rating: R Kinks/Themes Chosen: Mainly for the Bad Porn theme hillbilly (or pureblood??) incest romp, but I also like to think there's a dash of hapless character accidentally finds him/herself in the middle of a debauched situation and ends up joining in (Percy), and nervous virgin asks someone to instruct them in preparation for their wedding night (Ginny... although I don't see her as the nervous type, and I bet she deflowered Harry aaaages ago :) ) Other Warnings: Incest. Lots of incest. Artist's Notes: Title's from an Elbow song about nostalgia for youth (Lippy Kids). (Yes, George is bringing the mood down a bit, poor lad; he can't help it.) Thanks to the mods for letting me post a bit early! Will be in airports most of my regular day :). Art Preview: ( images below cut ) - Tags:
*art, 2011-04, artist: ships_harry, character: bill, character: charlie, character: george, character: ginny, character: percy, character: ron, content: blowjobs, content: exhibitionism, content: fingering, content: group sex, content: incest, content: threesome, theme: bad porn
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| I know this is late and I'm really sorry! I had IJ problems this morning and then had to go out and I'm only just getting home. Again, I'm really sorry, mods! Title: Harry Pornstar and the Philosopher's Boner Author: kinky_kneazleCharacters/Pairings: Harry/Oliver, also mentions of Dumbledore/Hagrid/McGonagall, Harry/Hagrid, Hermione/Harry/Ron/Mountain Troll, Snape/Quirrell, Harry/Ron/Neville/Seamus/Dean Rating: NC-17 Kinks/Themes Chosen: Bad Porn Month! Other Warnings: Crack and really bad innuendo. Disclaimer: Although the characters in the movie were underage, in this porn-ish remake the actors are all legally consenting members of the adult film industry, and quite obviously above the legal age of consent. No suggestion of chan is intended. Word Count: 1,180 Summary/Description: The Philosopher's Stone rewritten as porn – the "skip the DVD to the good parts" version. Author's Notes: A few years ago I clicked a link and discovered Edward Penishands. This was my introduction to the porn industry tradition of remaking popular movies into porn. Wil Wheaton's news that there's a Star Trek: TNG XXX Parody coming out made me wonder what would happen if someone did a Harry Potter remake. I couldn't write all the porn scenes that there would be, but there's a hint of many, and my favourite in detail. Love to F for the super-quick beta. Some lines have been taken verbatim from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone/ ( Harry Pornstar and the Philosopher's Boner ) | |
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| Title: A Bit o' Posh Author: purplefluffycatCharacters/Pairings: Aberforth Dumbledore/Horace Slughorn Rating: NC-17 Kinks/Themes Chosen: 'Rough-and-tumble, working-class guy/girl convinces stuck-up, snobby rich guy/girl to get a little dirty' and also "We must get you out of these wet clothes..."Word Count: About 2700 Summary/Description: The winter of 1940 was a particularly harsh one. When a young Horace Slughorn is lost in a blizzard, the Hog's Head is the only place he can turn... Not entirely unattractive, too. He tried to silence the treacherous part of his brain yet again. Really, it wouldn't do; the very thought of relations with such a common specimen was entirely below the salt. How could he even...? Yes, terrible it was; quite terrible. Entirely beyond belief.
- Yet perhaps that was what made it so very compelling.Author's Notes: I had great fun with these clichés! I hope you like the result :-) ( A Bit o' Posh ) | |
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| Title: Hogwarts Does Harry Author: eeyore9990Characters/Pairings: Harry/Hogwarts Rating: NC-17 Kinks/Themes Chosen: Bad porn month. Clichés include but are not limited to: hapless repair person is seduced by the resident of the castle; Wizards Gone Wild: Spring Summer Break Mischief; gay character tricks straight character of the same gender into sex; hapless character accidentally finds himself in the middle of a debauched situation and ends up joining in; Harry Does Hogwarts Other Warnings: sex with an (animatedly) inanimate object; object insertion; various bits of other weirdness and surprise!ending Word Count: 2450 Summary/Description: There've been many changes to Hogwarts over the years. Perhaps there's an explanation for that... Author's Notes: I have to thank r_grayjoy and leela_cat for gleefully cheering me on while writing this. As for explanations… well. I saw the Harry Does Hogwarts prompt and couldn't pass it up. :D ( Hogwarts Does Harry ) - Tags:
*fic, 2011-04, author: eeyore9990, character: harry, content: anal, content: blowjobs, content: bondage, content: first time, content: item penetration, content: mpreg, content: object insertion, theme: bad porn
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| Title: Pink Ponce Polish Author: lilmisblack Characters/Pairings: Sirius/Severus Rating: NC-17 Kinks/Themes Chosen: Bad porn prompt: gay character tricks straight character of the same gender into sex Other Warnings: Dub-con and...mmm, Snape's over-active imagination? Word Count: 2011 Summary/Description: Sirius tries out a Weasley Wizard Wheezes product. Severus wakes up gay. Author's Notes: Inspired by the riddiculous J CREW controversy. | |
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| Title: A Simple Act of Larceny Author: mindabblesCharacters/Pairings: Remus/Sirius/James Rating: NC-17 Kinks/Themes Chosen: Bad porn prompt: hapless character accidentally finds him/herself in the middle of a debauched situation and ends up joining in. Other Warnings: Threesome, rimming, desecrating a Black family heirloom, voyeurism Word Count: 3,500 Summary/Description: Sirius has always wanted to give that chair a go. Audience participation only makes it better. Author's Notes: What does it mean that I had already written at least half a dozen of the bad porn prompts? This prompt seemed to me to call out to these three, and I have been wanting to write this for a while. It goes out to gryffindor_j for some of her recent help and support and because the fic in which this chair was first mentioned was written for her (that fic was Pursuit of Imperfection and there is absolute no need to read it to get this). ( Remus' arse is a perfect, perfect thing ) - Tags:
*fic, 2011-04, author: mindabbles, character: james, character: remus, character: sirius, content: anal, content: rimming, content: threesome, content: voyeurism, theme: bad porn
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| Title: In Its Deepest Being Author: kelly_chamblissPairing: Poppy Pomfrey/Narcissa Black [Malfoy] Rating: Hard R Kinks/Themes Chosen: Bad Porn Clichés: "naughty nurse has exploits with patients or doctors" and "someone above corruption (priest, nun [add 'trusted healer'], etc.) is corrupted" Other Warnings: slightly under-age sex, suggestion of drug abuse Word Count: 2000 Summary: Each time, she tells herself it will be the last time. Author's Notes: I decided to go with clichés all the way, and some overwought language, too. As always, my unending thanks to my beta therealsnape, who improves everything I write. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~( In Its Deepest Being ) | |
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| Title: Lessons for Harry Author: elfflameCharacters/Pairings: George/Harry Rating: NC-17 Kinks/Themes Chosen: Bad Porn Prompt: - nervous virgin asks someone to instruct them in preparation for their wedding night/a relationship with someone more experienced Other Warnings: Drawn-out sex and sap? Word Count: ~4100 Summary/Description: Harry has a request, and George doesn't mind helping out at all. Author's Notes: It has been so long since I wrote these two…I do adore them together. They're just so sweet… I originally intended to do a very different prompt, but then they weren't cooperating, and this story had been growing in the back of my mind, so…I decided I had to. Even if it did make me almost too late to post. :) Hope everyone likes. Thank you to my sweet Kit for her super-speedy beta and hand-holding, or this would never have made it… ( If I love you, what business is it of yours? - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ) | |
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| Title: Never Got the Script Artist: akatnamedeasterMedia: pencil on recycled paper/Photoshop Characters/Pairings:Severus/Remus/Sirius Rating: R Kinks/Themes Chosen:Bad Porn Month:A hapless delivery person is seduced by the residents of the house/flat, well it's an attempted seduction anyway Other Warnings: nudity, 70's cliche's, pornstaches Summary/Description: No one seems to have given Snape his copy of the script. Pity. Artist's Notes: I really had a hard time coming up with an idea for this month but in the end this scrawl happened, it's a bit rough. Apologies for it being about as sexy as a hangnail.  ( Read more... ) | |
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| Title: A Roll in the Hay Author: silvernatashaCharacters/Pairings: Ron Weasley/Pansy Parkinson Rating: R Kinks/Themes Chosen: Bad porn - rough-and-tumble, working-class guy convinces stuck-up, snobby rich girl to get a little dirty. Other Warnings: First time, purple prose. Word Count: ~1,900 Summary/Description: Teased about being uptight by her friends, Pansy turns her attention to the new stable boy, Ron. Early 20th century AU-ish. Author's Notes: This is probably better classed as bad erotica/romance novel than bad porn, but shh. It was fun to write. Thanks to anijade for reading this over for me. ( Pansy, my darling, what on earth are you looking at? ) | |
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| Title: First Contact Dermatitis Artist: didodikaliMedia: pencil. Rating: Boom chaka wow. Polyjuice Porn Productions presents: First Contact Dermatitis!Produced and directed by Colin C.
Starring Bane the Centaur (by Marietta E.),
Harry Potter (by Gregory G.),
The Giant Squid (by Vincent C.)
and Live Nude Aliens (as themselves).( First Contact Dermatitis! ) | |
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| Title: The Brothel of Requirement Author: alisanneCharacters: Severus Snape/Harry Potter, George/Fred Weasley, Remus Lupin/Hermione Granger. Rating: NC-17 Warnings: incest, voyeurism, role-play Themes/kinks chosen: Bad Porn Month: teacher/student spanking/discipline, hillbilly (or pureblood??) incest romp, cop/detective goes undercover into a debauched situation and must join in to avoid blowing their cover (so to speak…), one word: pornstache! Word Count: ~2600 Summary: Harry never knew that facial hair could lead him astray. Author's notes: I really thought I had nothing for this month's challenge, but then my trusty muse came through. *pets her* Thanks to sevfan for the speedy beta and to torino10154 for the handholding and support. Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only. ( The Brothel of Requirement ) - Tags:
*fic, 2011-04, author: alisanne, character: fred, character: george, character: harry, character: hermione, character: remus, character: severus, content: anal, content: bondage, content: costumes, content: cross-gen, content: dirty talk, content: fantasy, content: incest, content: paddling, content: role-playing, content: student/teacher, content: voyeurism, theme: bad porn
- Mood:working
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| Title: Cliche Artist: ericahpfaMedia: Pencil, pen, references Characters/Pairings: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black (trust me!) Rating: R(?) Kinks/Themes Chosen: Bad Porn Other Warnings: Might be NWS Artist's Notes: H/C is ♥ Strictly speaking this particular cliche is not listed but I ran with it anyway. It's just such a classic one - I like to think this is prepairing. ( Remus & Sirius ) | |
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| Title: Anatomically Impossible Author: iamisaacPairings: Ron/Hermione, possible implied Ron/Hermione/Harry Rating: NC17 Kinks/Themes Chosen: Bad Porn theme prompts: “bad porn language” and “best friends who never realized there was anything more until...” Other Warnings: hapless!Ron sex (does that need its own warning?) Word Count: ~2000 Summary/Description: Ron hadn't quite realised what Hermione had been reading... Author's Notes: Many thanks to lovely lovely drachenmina for a very swift beta. Trust me to come back from hiatus with a fic pairing no one likes – start as you mean to go on, eh? :) ( They were Just Good Friends, and that was fine. Fine. Really fine. As fine as it could possibly be. ) | |
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| Title: Notches on a Broomstick Author: celandineb Pairings: Harry/Oliver, Fred/George, Fred/George/Harry, Hannah/Harry, Cedric/Harry, Cho/Harry, Harry/Hermione, Anthony/Harry, Harry/Pansy, Daphne/Harry, Blaise/Harry, Adrian/Harry/Hypatia/Simon [more-or-less OC Slytherins], Draco/Harry Rating: NC17 Kinks/Themes Chosen: Bad Porn theme prompt: "Harry Does Hogwarts" Other Warnings: anal, chan, cunnilingus, exhibitionism, fellatio, fingering, first time, group sex, hand jobs, humiliation, incest, intercrural sex, loss of virginity, masturbation, oral sex, orgasm denial, public sex, rimming, student/student, teen sex, threesome, voyeurism, watersports Word Count: 11,000 exactly Summary/Description: Shortly after his first foray into sex, Harry decides he wants to sample it in all the Hogwarts Houses. Author's Notes: This became... extensive. There's probably a little something in it to suit almost any taste, except that there's no F/F. Neither plot nor romance to speak of, this is pretty shamelessly just plain porn. ( Notches on a Broomstick ) - Tags:
*fic, 2011-04, author: celandineb, character: anthony, character: blaise, character: cedric, character: cho, character: daphne, character: draco, character: fred, character: george, character: hannah, character: harry, character: hermione, character: oliver, character: pansy, content: anal, content: blowjobs, content: chan, content: cunnilingus, content: fingering, content: first time, content: group sex, content: handjobs, content: humiliation, content: incest, content: intercrural sex, content: loss of virginity, content: masturbation, content: oral sex, content: orgasm denial/delay, content: public sex, content: rimming, content: student/student, content: teen sex, content: threesome, content: voyeurism, content: watersports, theme: bad porn
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