Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Fic & Art: Wankus Interruptus  
27th September 2010 21:25
Title: Wankus Interruptus (Or Better: Wanker Interrupt Us!)

Media: pencil, PS
Characters/Pairings: Severus/Sirius
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Please your mod: masturbation, first time (after a fashion)
Other Warnings: None
Word Count: ~1340
Summary/Description: Tension is brewing in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place when Severus runs into an intoxicated Sirius Black, but soon Black has everything well in hand.
Creators's Notes: Written & illustrated for Ro because once upon a time we promised to collab for her and 'please your mod' seemed to be the perfect opportunity. Thank you to[info]jadzialove for the beta and[info]gryffindorj for the once over.
Art Preview:

I refuse to believe Dumbledore knows what he's doing when he sends me to Grimmauld Place.

Even he isn't that evil.

Walburga's noble and most decrepit house is most definitely haunted by one of her sons. He certainly haunts me.

How many nights have I lain in bed imagining what I would do to him? What he would do to me….

Merlin's beard, I've become ridiculous. As soon as I take my hands out of my pants, I shall finish dressing and face the lion in his cage.

All on an absurd errand. Teach the boy Occlumency, the Headmaster says. So I bow and scrape and agree. Not as if I have a choice in the matter.

Fresh hell, different day.

Once I've put on shirt and tie, pulled on my robes, plastered on my most inscrutable expression, I Apparate to the doorstep of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place.

"Oh, Severus!"

Oh, Lord. Molly Weasley.

"We weren't expecting you." Thankfully she no longer attempts an embrace. I made her quite aware how I felt about that the first time the Order met, following one of my meetings with the Dark Lord. As if being in the Order together could possibly change my feelings toward any of them.

Certainly not Black. No, he's been a problem for years.

"I need to see Potter." At the look of shock on her face, I smirk. "Professor Dumbledore's orders." I wave the letter from Dumbledore then slide it into my sleeve, next to my wand.

Recovering herself, she closes the door and says, "I'll just go and fetch Harry, then. There's tea in the kitchen." I turn without another word and make my way to the basement kitchen without another word.

Thankfully no one else is there. Lupin is likely hiding from the pink-haired Auror again. Pair of fools both. I pour myself a cuppa and add just half a spoonful of sugar. Mother had always been a bit stingy and now I am unable to take it any other way.

"Snape." There at the door stands the stuff of my nightmares, but only the very best ones. The ones that leave me breathless and wake me night after night, sheets sticky with sweat and ejaculate.

Damn, I think immediately as my cock twitches its greeting. Traitorous thing. Likely the only part of my entire being that wishes I'd sorted into Gryffindor. Dorm mates, communal showers, late night wanks behind heavy curtains….

"Black," I nearly spit, overcompensating for the thoughts I was having. "I am not here to see you."

"Is that so?" Black says as he saunters more fully into the room. "I've seen more of you these past months than I have since Hogwarts."

"Naturally. You were in Azkaban." Becoming unhinged was left unsaid, and yet that hint of darkness and despair didn't take away my attraction. Probably made it worse.

"Did you miss me, Snape?" He is approaching me quickly and yet in slow motion. I watch each step, then see the half-empty bottle of Firewhisky, his long fingers wrapped around the neck of the bottle. I swallow thickly as he puts the bottle to his mouth, imagining the feel of those fingers, that mouth.

"Are you drunk or just stupid?" I ask, then quickly take a sip of tea. Perhaps the colour in my cheeks might be explained by the hot liquid.

He slams the bottle down next to me, effectively pinning me against the kitchen counter.

"Might be drunk, but I'm not stupid, Snape." I can smell the Firewhisky, but the scent of the man is nearly overpowering. It is all together unfair. He should smell of this wretched place, but only as Black can, he manages to smell…good. The back of his hand brushes the front of my robes and his eyes widen, his smile feral.

"Get away from me." I have to get out of the room, Dumbledore's errand be damned.

"Oh, no, Severus, we're just getting started." He has seldom used my given name in the past, and this is the first time it sounds like a caress, washing over me. I muffle a groan.

"I will not tell you again, Black." I make no move to leave, paralyzed as I am, trapped in his sphere of influence.

"Good. I didn't want to hear it." He leans closer, his light eyes glittering as he reaches for the placket of my trousers. His fingers dance over the outline of my cock. "Impressive," he smirks, pleased with what he finds.

His hand begins to rub up and down, and my resistance shatters. I jerk off my robes, throwing them over the chair, and grasp two handfuls of his absurdly thick hair, pulling him into a kiss. At first I am sure I've made a grave error, his mouth does not yield. Just as I am about to pull away, he opens his lips and thrusts his tongue into my mouth, the taste of Firewhiskey heavy on it.

It is exactly as I'd pictured it. Rough. Hard. Perfect.

I move my hands to his trousers and reach inside, desperate as I am to feel that hot flesh in my hand.

He undoes his trousers and pulls himself out, the purple head of his cock already wet, heavy balls resting beneath. I may have licked my lips.

Black chuckles darkly. "If I'd known how desperate you were for my cock, I'd have let you have it ages ago."

"Shut up," I grind out and kiss him to ensure he does just that. I feel him working open my trousers with both hands, reaching in and pulling out my cock and balls, then wrapping both his hands around our cocks, the hot flesh sliding back and forth in his warm grasp.

"Master," an ancient voice intones and we both turn toward the wizened old elf. I start to pull away then suddenly Black grasps my tie, his face slightly manic.

"Busy at the moment, Kreacher," he says as we both mindlessly continue thrusting into his hand, so very close….

"Young Master Potter is on his way to the kitchen."

That snaps both of us out of our lust-induced haze.

"Fuck," he says, letting go of our cocks and somehow shoving himself back in his trousers. It takes some adjusting as we're both quite hard, although the mention of Potter has me softening rapidly.

I put on my robes and smooth down my hair, trying to restore a modicum of dignity, while Black apparently doesn't care if Potter sees him looking as if he's just been caught in flagrante delicto—which he actually has, if one counted house-elves. Once we are both ourselves again, he looks at me. "What are you doing here anyway, Snape?"

"Dumbledore sent me with a message for Potter." I pull the letter from Dumbledore out of my robes and toss it at him. Black snatches it and rips open the envelope, his face the picture of disgust. When he looks up from the letter, I lower my eyes to Black's obvious erection and add, "Perhaps you ought to take that elsewhere, lest you scare the boy."

"As if I'd leave him alone with you." Black stalks around the table and sits down, a slight wince the only indication he's uncomfortable. He looks at me as I am still standing and smiles that devastating smile I hate and love in equal measure. "Better luck next time, Snape. Maybe I'll let you suck it."

Pulling out the chair directly across from him, I clench my hand into a fist.

"If anyone will be doing any sucking, Black, it will be you," I hiss and turn away from him. A moment later the door to the kitchen opens and Potter slinks into the room announcing himself.

"Er," he says. Idiot.

Both of them.

He pushed open the kitchen door … to find Sirius and Snape both seated at the long kitchen table, glaring in opposite directions. The silence between them was heavy with mutual dislike.

Or perhaps something else entirely.
28th September 2010 01:53
oh that was delicious, and such a fitting missing scene!

i love the art - they both look so hateful!
30th September 2010 11:30
Thanks! Missing scenes are a lot of fun. :D
28th September 2010 03:01
Mmm, delicious art/fic collaboration, ladies!
Severus was clearly lost as soon as he entered the house, and Sirius was perfectly smarmy and obnoxious (and hot). *g*
And is it bad that I just want to lick Sirius' hipbones in that fabulous art? Mmmmf!
Great job!
30th September 2010 11:33
Thanks so much. Severus does seem the type to lust after, er, challenging people LOL and I think your description of Sirius is canon. :P OMG so agree with you about the hipbones. Ven did an amazing job. *drools just a little*
28th September 2010 04:35
Brilliant collaboration! Wonderful.
30th September 2010 11:33
Thanks so much, Red. Glad you liked it!
28th September 2010 06:59
omg. that is so absolutely perfect an explanation for that scene. i have to say, i find sirius/severus a tough sell usually, but this was splendid. and sizzling! and the art is guh!
30th September 2010 11:35
Thank you! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it (and I kinda agree with you about the pairing *nods*). It was definitely fun misusing canon. ;)
28th September 2010 08:19
Abjyiafilaifipf, ::flaaaaaiiiiil::, WIN!!

Okay, it's 4:18 am, and I promised myself I'd go to bed at 4:00. And I'm a bit lacking in brain at the moment anyway. So I'm gonna leave you two a real comment tomorrow. For the time being, just let me tell you that I am very pleased indeed! ::squees and hugs you both::
29th September 2010 01:53
Okay, back, and am going to try for something a bit more eloquent. ;)

First response upon reading, by the way: Aaaargh! Wankus Interruptus indeed!! DENIED!! LOL (HOMG, they're both going to be wanking themselves raw later.)

I love the stark, sharp narrative of this fic. It's so very OotP period Snape, and it creates an incredible ambiance.

And, yes, this. Fantastic hate-that-isn't-quite-hate relationship that they have. The dynamic is just perfect; both of them trying to be in control -- of the situation, or each other, of themselves.

It's a little detail, but I adore the "absurdly thick hair" remark from Snape. That tiny little phrase revels so much about Snape and his feelings about Sirius, donnit? Nice.

Okay, and ART! Abiourfa, YAY! I don't know which came first, the chicken or the egg the fic or the art, but they compliment each other fantastically. The art conveys a sort of dark, seediness that goes so well with the stark writing. The dynamic here is fantastic as well; aggressive, cocksure Sirius with a Snape who loves it and hates it and hates that he loves it all at once. Such a mood-oriented piece.

I love how skinny and bony and shaggy they both are; they've both been through some rough shit. Love scruffy Sirius; the signs of his age (or possibly the way Azkaban has aged him) are perfect. And his expression is just so Sirius. And you know I always love the ugliness of your Snape!

Fantastic collab, you two. And it's all for meeeeeee! ::cuddles it::
30th September 2010 12:13
YAY! Thanks so much for the lovely comment(s), Ro! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it. Somehow the idea of them being denied, hence the tension at GP, just was the perfect conclusion (although I am sure they don't agree *veg*). And yeah, definitely hate with a side of something entirely different. :D

OMG Ven did a SPECTACULAR job with the art. I could stare at them all day. Not pretty by any means but attractive in that 'life's been a bitch but I'm still here' sort of way, yeah?
28th September 2010 09:23 - *is eloquent-toast*
Bwahahahaahhahahahahaa this was genius. PURE GENIUS!!!
28th September 2010 13:06 - Re: *is eloquent-toast*
hmmm, but who IS the enigmatic "Eloquent Toast"?
30th September 2010 11:37 - Re: *is eloquent-toast*
LOL YAY! Thanks so much. :D
28th September 2010 11:11
Ahaha, nice gapfiller there -- very hot, both fic and art!
30th September 2010 11:38
Thank you. It was a lot of fun coming up with something for that scene--one of my favorites. :D
28th September 2010 11:35
This has been taunting me all day. *kicks school holidays*

I must say it was most definitely worth the wait though. Hot stuff ladies.

I would like more now, if you please.
30th September 2010 11:40
Thank you! There is nothing worse than having to wait to read something but yeah, the anticipation sometimes really makes it worth it in the end. Glad you enjoyed it.
28th September 2010 12:01
Really fun -- I was just rereading that canon scene the other day, and this fits in absolutely perfectly. The background touches are great: I can just imagine Severus making clear to Molly that there will be No. Hugging. And this line: "Er," he says. Idiot.

And the art -- mmmmm times ten. Their mouths (not to mention other things) are exactly right: sneer and smirk.

30th September 2010 11:42
Thank you so much! Canon can be quite inspiring. :D And LOL @ Molly. I'm sure she at least tried to be nice a couple times before realizing he was still Snape. ;)
28th September 2010 13:19
Hooray! Missing scene FTW! I love Snape's inner dialogue as well, very in character, which is hard to do with this pairing I think. Yay.
30th September 2010 11:44
Thank you so much. I'm seriously chuffed you found Snape IC. Oddly enough he just started speaking in my head and I knew what to do. *tries not to worry about just what that means* ;)
28th September 2010 14:48
Brillant and gorgeous!!
30th September 2010 11:45
Thanks so much, hon. ♥
28th September 2010 16:35
Fantastic re-interpretation of what might have happened before the moment when Harry finds them with the tension thick in the air! And what a great collaboration between you two -- excellent work!
30th September 2010 11:46
Thank you! It seemed like a great moment to work with--one of my favorites in canon (that isn't Snape/Harry *g*).
28th September 2010 17:25
Excellent collaboration. :D

Love the tension, their sneering expressions, and how you've fit this into canon
30th September 2010 11:48
Thanks so much. Putting the two of them together is like waiting for a bomb to go off--just a little differently this time. ;)
28th September 2010 23:45
Damn it Harry -

Very nice collaboration ladies - well done
30th September 2010 11:49
LOL Thanks! I think Sirius is thinking the same thing. ;)
29th September 2010 14:51
Wonderful art and story! I love how energetic the art is and the lust/hate between the two characters is exactly how I picture adult Snape and Black!
30th September 2010 11:51
Thank you! They really are so alike in some ways I think they naturally attract and repulse each other.
29th September 2010 23:05
Nice "missing scene" insertion.

"Busy at the moment, Kreacher," he says as we both mindlessly continue thrusting into his hand, so very close….

lol! I dunno why this is so funny - I can just picture Sirius's flustered yet somehow nonchalant way of saying ity.
30th September 2010 11:52
Thank you! I'm thrilled you liked that line because I can totally hear it in my head and it cracks me up too. *giggles*
1st October 2010 03:56
What a fantastically well-matched art & fic combo! They complement each other flawlessly! Severus’ self-deprecating, wryly humorous voice is perfect. I love the idea that Sirius may be a bit unhinged (I can see it in his smile) & that Severus likes him that way, although he’s trying hard not to show it! Sirius’ tattoo, hipbones, & arse are gorgeous, as is Severus’ treasure-trail, & their combined packages! Intriguing (gasp, sniffle) to read that the thought of Harry approaching is such a turn-off for Severus. Sirius does sound like hot match for Severus though so I forgive him.☺
Also, I love the fact that Severus pays Sirius a complement the only way he seems to know how, by Sirius that his impressive erection may frighten the savior of the wizarding world. *snicker* Thank goodness we have a visual!
2nd October 2010 12:36
Thanks so much! I'm thrilled you liked Severus's voice. (I couldn't resist the dig at Harry, although I think this Severus would definitely not be impressed with the boy.)
3rd October 2010 05:23
Hahaha! My favorite scene from OoTP realized in a way I hadn't quite imagined. No wonder they were so ready to attack each other. XD Great read, great Snape POV and the art was just perfect. I'll bet Rowan loved this. Great job, guys!
5th October 2010 12:40
Thanks! I love that scene too--it seemed a perfect one to adapt. :D So glad you enjoyed it.
18th October 2010 00:50
Ooh, I loved this, fic and art both! I love missing scenes in fanfiction, especially when they go right for the dirty, like this one. Lovely!
18th October 2010 01:49
Thank you so much. Missing scenes are a lot of fun--makes re-reading the books very interesting indeed. *vbg*
24th November 2010 17:24
I agree with the comment that praised Missing Scenes! =) Here is the part I didn't like:

although the mention of Potter has me softening rapidly.

24th November 2010 17:45
Aw, well, can't win 'em all. ;) Thanks for commenting.
31st August 2013 23:27
Wonderful - both the story and the art. Love it (want more of it!)
1st September 2013 20:28
Thank you! I remember we had a blast working on this together.
14th May 2016 00:53
HAHA! forgot all about this one!
This page was loaded 23rd June 2024, 05:14 GMT.