Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Big Boys' Toys 
15th October 2008 07:06
Title: Big Boys' Toys
Author: [info]lee_west
Characters: Gideon Prewett, Charlie and Hugo Weasley
Rating: R-ish at best
Summary: Boys will have their toys
Warnings: No chan. Just curious boys and their shameless uncles.
Kinks chosen: Anal Plugs
Word Count: ~2,800
Author's notes: Millions of thanks for [info]minnow53 for the ear plug idea. Only you could come up with this and I love it! And also for [info]fluffyllama for betaing this despite a cold.


"Mum!" Charlie called out once, then repeated it when Molly didn't answer. "Mum!"

Molly sighed. She decided she was probably out of her mind when she offered to clean her brother Gideon's flat. Even if it was for a good cause.


The flat was a royal mess; both Gideon and his twin Fabian had always been slobs, although Fabian did try to tidy up a bit when things got out of control. But then Fabian moved in with his girlfriend – who thankfully was a very neat person – and Gideon just let the laundry and dishes pile up. Whenever he needed a clean set of robes or underwear, he'd pull one from the dirty pile and cast a Scourgify on whatever he needed. Dishes didn't present too much of a problem, since he regularly ate dinner at Molly's – and now at Fabian's.

Lunches were owled in from the Leaky Cauldron to his office at the Daily Prophet; breakfasts were never an issue, since Gideon rarely slept in the messy flat, and he always made a point of eating where he slept. It was not hard: Gideon was a good-looking bloke, with his red hair and a stocky build. His shoulders were strong, the result of much exercise to make up for the time he had to sit behind the desk at the newspaper. Witches liked him a lot, and he flirted with them shamelessly: this usually resulted in an invitation for a home cooked dinner. Sometimes he accepted those invitations, but left before things got a little too close to his comfort zone.

Some wizards liked him a lot, too, and he also flirted with those shamelessly. This always resulted in an invitation for a drink at the fellow's flat and the guarantee of a nice breakfast the next morning. Or, if the wizard didn't mind the mess – most of them didn't – they were invited to come over to his place. Breakfast wouldn't be served the next day, but there was always take out somewhere.

His sister, not knowing about the wizards, urged him to find a nice witch and settle down the way Fabian seemed to be doing, but Gideon always waved her away, saying that he was very happy being on his own.

And he was. Even on rare lonely nights Gideon knew how to entertain himself. He had a collection of toys in his bedside table, carefully arranged by purpose. Gideon could open the drawer and reach for a certain toy with the lights off. Molly would have been impressed if she knew how organized her brother could be when he really wanted.

She would never have found out, if it weren't for Aunt Muriel. The old lady decided, out of the blue, that she wanted her tiara back, the one she had lent Molly for her wedding. Molly swore that she had returned it already, and Aunt Muriel insisted that she had not. Did Molly remember when she had returned it?

Molly did. It was not long after the wedding. She was already pregnant with Bill, feeling sick and unable to travel, and had asked her twin brothers to return the tiara to Aunt Muriel.

Aunt Muriel then blamed the twins; they had never returned the tiara, she said.

Gideon and Fabian thought they had. Or that one of them had. Each one of them said that the other had made the trip to Aunt Muriel's, but the truth was they couldn't remember the details or when they had done it. Molly asked them to look for it in their flat. Fabian pointed out logically that it couldn't be in his new flat, because he had only brought some clothes with him.

Molly ordered Gideon to look for the tiara in his flat, but he refused adamantly. There was no way in hell he would look for a tiara. He had no reason to look for it, did he? Aunt Muriel was batty and had probably misplaced the bloody tiara. While Molly ranted, he closed his eyes and imagined that the tiara would actually look quite dashing on some of his breakfast companions – like his sort of cousin Regulus, for instance. Such a pretty thing he was, and so much into cross-dressing...

Molly's screams brought him back to reality. She was threatening to look for the tiara herself if he didn't want to do it.

He shrugged. "Be my guest." That actually boded well, because Molly would probably tidy the flat in the process.

Furious, but being a woman on a mission, Molly commanded Bill to stay home with the little ones and recruited eight-year old Charlie to accompany her. He went under much protest; normally he would have loved to go to his uncle's flat, because he just adored Gideon, but he knew his uncle wouldn't be there and he would be forced to clean. But Molly was in one of those moods, so he followed obediently.

Molly decided to tackle the kitchen and the laundry first; there was no way she would find anything in that mess. She sent Charlie to Gideon's bedroom, telling him to look well inside the chest of drawers – any place where the tiara might be.


"MUM!" Charlie bellowed, and this time he got her attention.

"What, Charlie? Can't you see I'm busy?" She was still trying to sort out the laundry. There were mismatched socks and, strangely, pants of different sizes. She wondered why Gideon would have a variety of underwear ranging from boxers to Y-fronts, in sizes from small to extra-large. He was a medium, definitely – she knew, because she always bought him underwear as Christmas and birthday gifts. It was odd, and she decided just to wash them all and ask questions later. They needed serious washing – some of them were stuck in parts and she handled those with the tips of her fingers.

"Come here, Mum. Come see what I found."

"The tiara?" She asked hopefully.

"No. It's something else. Uncle Gideon has a lot of stuff here in his bedside table, and I don't know what they are."

Molly was not that interested, if it was not the tiara, but she sent a pile of clothes to the washing tub and lifted herself from the floor. She had hardly made a dent in the pile, but she was already exhausted.

She entered the bedroom. Sitting on the bed, there was Charlie, holding a strange object in his hand.

"What's that, Charlie?"

"Dunno," he said, turning the object around in his fingers. It was a bit amorphous, thicker at the top and with two loopy ends.

Molly took the object from his hands and examined, it, too. It was made of a hard material. "I don't know, Charlie. It looks like a giant ear plug, but I have never seen one so big or this hard," she said. "Where did you find it?"

"In that drawer," Charlie pointed and Molly peeked inside. The first thing of note was the organization of the drawer, unlike anything else in the house. And then she noted a few strange objects: a pair of handcuffs, blindfolds, and something that looked made of plastic. She picked it up, gasped and threw it back inside the drawer.

It looked like a big, fat penis. The movement of being thrown inside the drawer made the object move, and it vibrated as if alive.

"Let's go, Charlie," Molly shrieked, but she couldn't take her son away from the bedside table. He was mesmerized by the vibrating penis and picked it up with his right hand, the left one grasping the other still unidentified object.

"Mum, what's this? It looks like my willy, doesn't it? But it's huge!" His eyes were open wide, and his voice had a tinge of pleasant surprise.

"CHARLIE! Put those things in the drawer, right now," Molly ordered, her face red.

But he didn't. He picked up the handcuffs. "And these?"

Before Molly could answer, there was a shuffling of feet and, suddenly, Gideon was at the door, observing the scene with amusement. Charlie beamed when he saw his uncle. "Uncle Gideon! What are these?" he asked, his hands full of handcuffs, dildos and buttplugs.

"These are my toys, Charlie," Gideon laughed.

"Gideon!" Molly managed to croak, "What are those?"

"His toys, Mum, he said it. Uncle Gideon, can I play with your toys?"

Gideon walked towards Charlie and gently took the objects from his hand. "No, Charlie, these are toys for adults." He glanced at Molly. "You may want to, when you're older."

"Never!" Molly said, irate. "My children...never," she sputtered.

Gideon looked at her calmly. "Never say never, sis." He put the toys back inside the drawer. "Charlie, why don't you go to the living-room? I'm sure there's a Quidditch magazine there."

After he left, Gideon faced Molly, who was scowling at him. "Don't look at me like that. What I do with my life is my own business. You had no right to look inside my drawer. But now you know that you're wasting your time trying to set me up with witches. I like wizards, sis. And adult toys. And I am very happy like that." She cringed and he continued. "And, by the way, you don't need to keep on cleaning. The old bat has found the bloody tiara – she wanted to hide it and did it so well that she couldn't find it herself. She just sent a Floo to the Prophet."

Molly huffed and turned to leave the bedroom. Gideon knew his sister: she was upset and that was her way of reacting against things over which she had no control. But he also knew that blood was thicker than water and, after realizing that she had to accept the fact that Gideon was gay, she would be all right with it. It had been a shock for her.

"Molly," he called.

"Yes?" she answered with a small voice, no longer irate, but a bit sad.

"That's the way I am, you know. I'm sorry you had to find out about it like this."

"Does Fabian know?"

"He does. It was tough for him at the beginning, but he's all right with it now."

She nodded. "I'd rather not to let the children know."

"Your choice. They will one day, you know?"

"Maybe," she conceded. "But they are too young."

"They are." Gideon opened his mouth to say something else, then thought better of it. He walked toward his sister and opened his arms to her. She hugged him and then stifled a sob. Together they walked to the living-room, where Charlie was engrossed in a Quidditch magazine.

"Ready to go, Charlie? I'll just take the clothes out of the washtub and we can go." Molly asked. The little boy made a face, but he didn't get any support from his uncle, so he stood up.

When Molly left the room, he hugged his uncle and asked, "Uncle Gideon, I think that when I'm an adult I'll have toys like yours, too," he said solemnly.

Gideon ruffled his hair. "I think you may, Charlie. I think you may," he whispered.


It bothered Molly a lot that, of all her children, Charlie remained unmarried. Whenever she broached the subject, he answered that he was busy with his dragons.

Which was fine, but she felt bad that he wasn't enjoying the better things of life, like a spouse and children, as his brothers and sister were. Charlie was a great uncle to the myriad of Weasleys and Potters, but Molly would love for him to have babies of his own. She noticed his sad look when he had to return to Romania after being at home for the holidays – he missed a family.

She decided, then, to take the grandchildren to visit Uncle Charlie in Romania. He was ecstatic with the idea, because he would be able to show the dragon reserve to his nephews and nieces; for a change, he wouldn't just be telling them stories about dragons, they would be able to see the beasts with their own eyes.

So Molly took the twelve grandchildren with her, and they were all surprised to see that they had their own lodgings, just like Uncle Charlie did. From Victoire, the oldest, to Lily, the youngest, all the children were excited about being in the reserve.

Charlie showed off his family to his fellow dragon keepers, who came from different parts of the world. There were men and women and Molly silently analyzed the females as possible daughters-in-law. They were a little too tomboyish for her liking, but she knew that her Charlie would never be drawn to the more girlish type. She selected a couple who looked a little too interested in Charlie and in the children and made a point of talking to them. She found them very likeable and she would welcome either of them into the family.

It was just a matter of making Charlie interested in either of them, she noticed. He treated the girls very well and in a charming, almost flirty way. His demeanor reminded her of her brother Gideon, who she was sure would have found a decent girl and forgotten all about that homosexuality nonsense if he'd lived longer. She dried a tear surreptitiously.

She concocted a plan, then: she threw a girls-only party, with hair-braiding and make up, all courtesy of her very coquettish granddaughter Victoire. The female dragon keepers loved the idea and gladly joined in.

The male dragon keepers, then, decided on a Quidditch game, which was promptly accepted by all the Weasley and Potter boys, too. All, with the exception of Hugo. Like his mother, he hated flying and preferred books to Quidditch. He knew he wasn't a good player, besides.

That left him in a strange position: his best friend was his cousin Lily, but she was going to the all-girl party. Hugo would like to have gone, too, and told his grandmother about his wishes, but she vehemently told him it was a girly party and he couldn't be there. Sulking, Hugo went his own way through the reserve, a book in hand, trying to find a quiet place for him to read.

He sat by the door of Charlie's lodgings and opened his book. But his heart wasn't in it. It was strange, because that was one of his favorite series, and he had re-read the books many times, always amazed that he found out something new.

That day, though, he was listless. He was alone in the camp and, from where he was, he could hear the girls giggling. On the other side, he saw the men and the boys flying. It was all so unfair! He threw the book on the ground and stood up, not really knowing where to go. But he couldn't stay there, so he decided to go into Charlie's room to see if his uncle had a book on dragons.


Molly left the girls in the process of braiding each other's hair and decided to check on Hugo. Maybe it would be all right to let him sit with them, after all. The poor thing would be reading his book anyway. At least he would be able to do it with the girls; it would be impossible for him to read while he flew, because he was such a bad flier.

She looked for him all over, and then saw the book on the ground in front of Charlie's lodgings. Hugo had probably gone inside to look for a different book. She climbed the steps and entered the front room, calling out for him.

"Here, Grandma. I'm in Uncle Charlie's bedroom."

She followed his voice and stopped in her tracks when she saw what he was holding in his hands. "I found this in his bedside table drawer. What's it, Grandma? It looks like a giant earplug, doesn't it?"


Charlie told one his teammates that he was going to check on his nephew Hugo, and would probably bring the young boy to sit on the grass near them. He would be reading a book anyway.

He saw the book on the ground and entered his lodgings, just in time to hear Hugo's question to Molly.

She turned to him when she heard the noise of someone at the door, and her eyes said it all. Charlie calmly walked inside the room and took the butt plug from Hugo's hands. "This is a toy, Hugo, but for adults only."

"What does it do?" asked the ever-curious Hugo.

"Erm...not much. Your toys are definitely better than those. Come on, let's go. You can sit on the grass while we fly."

"No," said Molly, resignation evident in her voice. "He can sit with us. The girls are finishing their hairdos and now we'll have refreshments."

Charlie looked at his nephew and his mother, then at the boy again. "What do you prefer to do?"

"I'll go with Grandma, Uncle Charlie," he said with a huge smile on his face, holding Molly's hand.

"Whatever you want, Hugo. Whatever makes you happy," Charlie said, pointedly looking at his mother.

She nodded briefly and started leading the young boy away. They were almost at the threshold when Hugo turned around and asked, "When I grow up, Uncle Charlie, can I have a toy like yours?"

Charlie smiled. "I think you may, Hugo. I think you may."
15th October 2008 07:30
I enjoyed this -- there were moments of humor, but I liked the serious undertone of acceptance too.
15th October 2008 21:30
Thank you - I'm glad you liked it.
15th October 2008 08:04
he he he... Poor Molly finding 'earplugs' all over the place. Cute and sweet.
15th October 2008 21:31
Poor Molly - she never knew those toys existed.

Thank you.
15th October 2008 09:47
That was really sweet actually. I like the way Molly seems to have not really accepted her brother's choices, assuming he might have grown out of his homosexuality had he lived and yet when Hugo finds Charlie's stash she doesn't bother to bluster about it. Well done.
15th October 2008 21:32
I think she basically gave up when she found out about Charlie.

Thank you for reading.
15th October 2008 10:27
Full circle, eh?
Very well done. Molly's certainly had enough time time to come to terms with her family members and their variations. :)
15th October 2008 21:33
She did! And yes, history repeated itself.
15th October 2008 11:09
This was funny and serious, lovely with the theme of family. I'm glad Molly tries hard to accept her family--and that she loves them all. Thanks for sharing!
15th October 2008 21:33
She loves them all, that's for sure. It may have been hard for her, but she did accept them.
15th October 2008 15:50
Ah, so cute! It reminds me of the "electric ear cleaner" exchange from Parenthood :).
15th October 2008 21:34

17th October 2008 16:03
Oh goodness, this is wonderful. I want to leave a much better comment than I am afraid this one will turn out to be, but my brain's a bit fried right now. Still, though:

The humor here is subtle enough that the wistful echoes of reality in the fic stand out beautifully against it. Charlie's lovely, and Molly's so real, and there are far too many fics where everyone's all, "Yay Gay!" which is, sadly, not the way it is, or likely will ever be. And I like how you dealt with this in Molly's case: a bit sad about it, but her love for her brother and for her son (and grandson, eventually) overshadow the sadness for her but don't erase it.

Anyway, hi, I'm rambling. Love this, love your characterization. Going to go rec it now.
17th October 2008 19:49

Thank you so much for the rec! You made my day with it.

Molly is a wonderful family woman, and I have no doubts she loved her brothers and suffered immensely when they died. We all know how much she loves Arthur and her children - and definitely her grandchildren. But I think she wouldn't react well to having someone gay in her family. She would never stop loving them, but it would always be there.

I'm really glad you liked the fic.

*hugs you again*
17th October 2008 22:50
*snuggles* Yay! I'm glad to have made your day.

And I totally agree with your assessment of Molly.
17th October 2008 18:32
Lovely story, I'm glad I followed emiime's rec. :D
17th October 2008 19:49
Thank you - I'm glad you liked it. Emi is a sweetheart.
17th October 2008 20:41
Awww. This was lovely; subtle humor but serious too.
17th October 2008 21:25
Thank you - and your icon is so appropriate!
5th November 2008 21:16

Oh man, I love the way you write Molly, taking every opportunity to rub her face in it. YAY!

They were almost at the threshold when Hugo turned around and asked, "When I grow up, Uncle Charlie, can I have a toy like yours?"


Yummy :)
5th November 2008 21:39
You know I don't see her as your gay-friendly person, yeah? :D

Hugo is so gay! I don't know how I could have this impression from such an obscure character, but he is.

7th November 2008 17:19
And the cycle continues.

I wonder what Molly is feeling right now.
8th November 2008 15:15
From uncle to nephew and so on :D

I think she's resigned to it. There's nothing she can do about it, anyway.
This page was loaded 1st July 2022, 07:59 GMT.