Multiverse of Madness

So I've been racking my brain, trying to figure out what I coulda said or done to make my contractor take off in the middle of her consultation. Thought we were getting along like a house on fire, but she went out in the hall to take a call, and now she's not returning my texts and her phone goes straight to voicemail. This kinda sucks.

[Private to Natasha]
I need a woman's advice about something.


[Private to Sue]
What do you want to do for the holidays?

I don't think I'm ever gonna love again.

I ran out of ice cream.

It feels like we all need a little Christmas spirit. Is anyone interested in a Secret Santa Gift Exchange this year?

I like the woman on the television who judges cases of others. I was able to relax and watch several episodes. The way that the legal system works on Midgard is quite different from Asgard.

This holiday season I've joined with some of my Asgardian friends to decorate New Asgard with holiday lights and trees. If anyone wants to come and help, we'll be decorating on Saturday. I'll buy anyone who volunteers and joins us a coffee and pastry from Sally's.

Nerves are normal right? Like, "what if I mess up my vows" nerves, and "does this suit really look alright" nerves, and "what if it rains"...

Fifteen days? No sweat.

( [Cath] )

( [Kate, Natasha, Dick and Derek] )

[Anyone 25 and Under]

Are you 25 and under and not already going to Clint and Dylan's wedding as a guest?

Would you like to earn $300 for a few hours' work?

See below!

[Details]

Jobs will include:

• Set up
  
• Ushers
  
• Wait Staff
  
• Bartending and/or drink delivery (21+—I WILL know)
  
• Take down/clean up

If interested, drop me a line here.

[Private to Natasha]
Can you come over for dinner this weekend?

[Private to Eliot]
Will you cook for me and my sister this weekend?

( Posted to the Network and on Quite a Few Doors (and a few are Delivered by Lucky) )

Save the date! I've reserved the conference room for the Friday/Saturday after Labor Day, since many of you may already have plans. We will be having a classic viewing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. As is traditional, it will start at midnight on Friday.*

You are all cordially invited to attend, and to bring newspapers, dry toast, and all the other traditional accoutrements. Live reenactments on the stage as the show is in progress are sometimes annoying but often hilarious welcome.

RSVP here, or just show up. Natasha is my co-conspirator silent partner. Blame her.


*In the absence of further shenanigans by the Mad Gods who seem to view us a playthings (or the iron whim of Friday, in the event that someone with higher--ie., any--security rating bumps me). If that happens, we'll reschedule.

Tolkien lied. Elves are dicks.

[…]

No offense, Dick.

I got to see the world after my death and the consequences of my actions. It feels like I'm being visited by Ebeneezer Scrooge's ghosts. First Vormir and then seeing what happened afterward. What next?

Also, Rogers: The Musical...seriously?

That hole in the wall of the kitchen, and all the destroyed tables and chairs in the dining area?

My bad. That was me. I had a rather...kinetic re-entry from my brief trip to Sokovia circa 2015. Reading other posts, I gather that it happened to quite a few of us. More portal bullshit shenanigans, I guess.

Anyhow, I was gone but now I'm back. I got to participated in the Battle of Sokovia.

One of them, anyway. This being a multiverse I guess there's an infinite number of Battles of Sokovia in every possible flavor, and an infinite subset of them of where I was somehow present. Oh, wow, and an infinite number of them where I got killed, too, I guess.

I need a drink.

We should be returning from space tomorrow.

We can send netposts all the way back to earth? I didn't know that! How does that even work?

Anyway, space is amazing. Seeing Saturn up close on the way out was incredible.

On the other hand, nobody told me that cabin fever was a thing in space. In retrospect, it makes sense. You're cooped up in a relatively limited space (unless it's a truly ginormous ship) and it's not like you can step outside for a breath of fresh air if it gets to be too much.

Still, it's worth it. Space! I'm in space! And alien planets!

ETA: Also, Clark is right. Artificial gravity is...weird. It feels like I'm wearing those magnetic boots from The Expanse...but all over.

We're all still accounted for out here.

Quill won't let me drive.

I have a whole laundry list of things I would be very happy to complain about, but I think this sums it up nicely:

Goddamn portal.

[Nat]

Tell me something good. Tell me about space.



tell me you're still there

When are you free for dinner?

Fuck Can someone look after Percy while I'm in space? I'll do something about the boat when I'm back.

Don't wreck the cars while I'm gone.

As we go into the holiday weekend, Security would like to advise everyone to take care with whatever social gatherings you may attend.

We still don't know what triggers the temporal anomalies we've been experiencing over the past month, and it might be in everyone's best interest to stay close to one of the support sites until we do.

( [Steve] )

( [Cora, Sam, Bucky, Courtney, Cisco (and any friend of Steve's I might be forgetting)] )

I just lost three hours walking down a hallway. I can't wait for these time anomalies to go away.

Seems a lot of us are getting gifts lately. I can add my name to the list. A toy from my childhood showed up. Twilight Sparkle. It is hard to imagine being that young.

[Friends]
Between this and the bullshit they pulled with the shield in the future I feel like it's taking most of my effort just to keep it together right now. I'm so pissed off I'm getting mad at people I shouldn't be mad at. I keep dreaming about the Raft

Who's for drinks? I feel like we need to wash this week away.

I never thought I'd be put in this position again, choosing between living life with you all or signing the Accords.

I can't sign. More to the point, I won't. Which means I probably need to find another place to live and fast. Unlike a lot of the new people here I'm likely to be recognised as being Stark-adjacent, at the very least.

If any of you know of a safe house I can lay low in, I'd appreciate the intel. It must be dog friendly.

You know where to find me and I'll always show up if you need me.

I'm being sprung from Medical this afternoon. So glad to be going home. Thank you to everyone who helped while I was in there. Especially the Medical staff, you were gracious and patient.

[Private: Jemma]
I have taken your words to heart. Don't worry, I'll keep this under wraps.

GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS.

Did you know that there's a theory that life on the planet used to be PURPLE?

That's the kind of planet I want to live on! ...well, if it wasn't all full of methane, or whatever.

PS - Don't eat the purple mushrooms in Wonderland. They make you shrink.

Sam isn’t here.

We were together in Middle Earth, but he hasn’t come back.

And he missed his birthday.

[Eliot W]

When he does get his ass back in this reality can I hire Threshold for the party?

[Steve]

You and Derek okay? Did you get to your honeymoon? When Sam gets back, we’re still throwing him a 40th right? I’m asking about taking over Threshold for it.

[Clint and Dick]

Think we could fit the two of you in a giant cake? Failing that maybe a circus act for the birthday boy?

My heart aches with the disappearance of my mother.

For those who are keeping track, as of 6:30pm this evening all of the Asgardians who disappeared have returned.

Well, the goddamn portal still works.

So, is anyone else's social media blowing up about Tony disappearing on stage at a tech conference in Minsk? Is Zari slacking on telling all of us about this, or what?

Update: seeing some chatter on here about Pepper and Happy going missing, too.

Goddammit.

Sound off, if you're here? Please?

[Private to Steve's Bachelor Party]
Thanks for coming out and celebrating with me. I appreciate your being there, keeping me company, sharing stories of old times, and making new ones.

It's certainly been an interesting ride. I'm looking forward to settling down for a bit.

10 days.

Life is certainly a funny thing, isn't it?

24 hours in Quarantine and I'm going a little stir-crazy.

Here's the story: I was feeling different, so I had myself checked out. Turns out, my bloodwork is consistent with that of an Asgardian. No one knows how or why. Until we know more this seems to be the safest place for me to be. For everyone involved.

I never thought I'd miss my books as much as I do. And I hope if this lasts, that someone can go water my plants.

Well... this is... something.

I think most of you know me already. Bruce Banner. A very nice young woman named Sara explained the whole alternate universe/time travel thing.

Someone tell me where I can be useful.

I woke up feeling different this morning. Did anyone else wake up feeling different? I know we have some other strange things happening--animals who can speak English, items and locations disappearing... so it's probably just another version of portal strangeness that's got me feeling... different. Still, I figured I would ask.

The last week has been pretty incredible, just getting reacquainted with home. It feels like a very long time since I've been here, despite appearances.

To: Tony Stark, Thor, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Wanda Maximoff, James Rhodes, Cisco Ramon, Harry Dresden, Peter Parker, Stephen Strange, Clark Kent
cc: Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers
Subject: Bachelor Party

( image cut )

My room is much quieter without so many of the puppies.

If you have yet to come pick one up, send me a message. I have a couple who are unclaimed still. Message me if you are interested in adopting.

Agent Romanoff, reporting for duty. What did I miss?

If anyone needs me for the next twenty-four hours, no you don't.

The puppies were born on Boxing Day. Fannie is doing very well. Puppies and mother are all healthy. If you would like to come and meet the puppies, I will bring them down to the lobby.

[Private to Scott]
Thank you for your help. They have been to the vet, and she said that they are strong and healthy. I cannot help but think this is in part due to your help.

[Separate private messages to Ava, Wanda, Kaylee, Marcus, Sarah, and Kate]
The puppies are healthy. There are male and female puppies. It is probably best if you come and meet them to see which one you might want to bring home with you. They will not be ready to leave their mother until they are at least 8 weeks old.

Took a bullet in Russia. I'll be recovering for a while.

[Marcus]
With my injury, I will need additional help walking Fannie. Caring for her. I hate to admit it, but

Do you think you can come and walk her?

[Scott and Clint]
Fannie has an appointment at the vet tomorrow, and I am worried about the injury to my shoulder interfering with my ability to bring her to her appointment.

The due date is getting closer. I don't want her to miss her appointment. Can you help?

On one of my recent trips into the city, I seem to have made a new friend. He has taken quite a liking to me, and I'm pretty certain he would have followed me home on his own.

His name is Sergei. He's made himself quite at home already.

( Cut for kitty picture )

I know we're all wondering what will happen next with regards to the portal and the strange occurrences this month. All I can tell you is that the portal's readings are fluctuating within normal parameters. The spikes each morning so far in December correlate with the ones usually seen whenever people arrive or leave via the portal.

[Legends]

I had a phone call from Anna. She said something was coming. Something big enough to shake up what we have here.

This may not be random. I won't be sure until tomorrow but I think there's a pattern to all of this.


after Jemma's post:
Six geese a-laying
Five golden rings
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtle doves
A partridge in a pear tree.

My apologies to anyone who has to see me flailing around today.

...in all seriousness, I've canceled my meetings and will be staying as far away from people as possible until this wears off.

[Derek]
I'll understand if you want to call off the wedding now that you've seen my ridiculous lack of dancing skills.

I am taking Fannie in to the Veterinarian tomorrow for a checkup.

For those of you who haven't heard, she is going to have a litter of puppies around Christmas. We are excited.

[Private: Clint]
Are you free to attend the checkup appointment tomorrow?