In the vein of Kinky Kristmas' Wacky Stats, we have for you Banging Birthday's Naughty Numbers! And those numbers are pretty interesting. They vary quite a bit from the pattern we've seen over the past few Kinky Kristmases. Has there been a fandom-wide shift in preference? Or is it that some kinks and characters say "Happy Holidays" while others are more birthday appropriate? Or is it simply coincidence? We can't say, but perhaps the next Kinky Kristmas will reveal more...

Our birthday party was a smaller, more intimate affair than our Kristmas balls tend to be, so that could account for the difference in demographics as well. We had a total of 31 pieces: 25 fic, 4 art, and 2 fic and art collabs -- something we've never had in KK! Featured across those 31 pieces were 26 different characters (or perhaps 27 if Snape's wanking watcher was someone unique). For the most part, those characters were the usual repeat offenders. Well, Kristmas is a time for spreading the cheer around, and birthdays are all about you and your favorites. ;)

To further break things down...


Counter to the last several Kristmases, the cock has made a bit of a comeback (er, no pun intended, actually!). Strictly slash pieces made up 55% of the total. It's the first time slash has taken more than half the spotlight since Kinky Kristmas 2012!

Slash: 17
Het: 9
Femslash: 2
Mixed: 3

Or viewed another way:

Pieces containing slash: 19
Pieces containing het: 12
Pieces containing femslash: 4

It's true that the women of the HP world weren't spotted doing dirty deeds as frequently this time around, but the percentages for het and femslash only took a small drop, not a huge dive. So we're guessing it's just an aberration. We think maybe the gals were simply better at not getting caught!


So who was caught in the act most often?

Harry once again claimed the top spot, having been featured in 8 pieces. However, he's sharing the podium with Snape, who was present the same number of times. We're sure the pair of them either absolutely love or thoroughly loathe this outcome, although which it is depends upon whom you ask...

Just behind them is Draco, who appeared in 7 pieces. Do you suppose he's lonely there all by himself? Not likely, given his numbers in the next category, as you'll see shortly...

We have another tie for third place -- between Charlie and Teddy for their 5 appearances each. While Charlie isn't at all new to scoring highly at, well, scoring, Teddy's sudden surge in popularity is a surprise change in the rankings.

Finally, Hermione takes fourth place with 4 appearances.


The above list might tell us which characters were most popular with the authors and artists, but which ones were most popular with each other?

A great many individuals feel that a Banging Birthday celebration just isn't complete without doing Draco once or twice. At least that would seem to be the case judging by his total of 12 different partners (in only 7 pieces)!! Rarely has a character ever shown this level of versatility in Kinky Kristmas -- and never when number of pieces and appearances are factored in. In order to achieve that impressive number, Draco participated in four threesomes, celebrated his own birthday with six different partners consecutively (well, two of them were simultaneous...), and even hooked up with an ex. It's interesting to note that he displayed a clear preference for selecting partners from within his own generation, although he made an exception for Kingsley (and who wouldn't?).

Following Draco up -- at some distance -- in second place are Harry and Charlie with 7 partners apiece.

Third place goes to Snape who bagged 6 partners. It's interesting to note that, while Snape has a bit of an inner exhibitionist, he's not a fan of threesomes. Unlike our other top-scoring characters, he didn't appear in a single one.

With 5 partners, Ginny lands in fourth place. And unlike Snape, she loves threesomes. In fact, she only appeared in threesomes and moresomes!


A few other patterns of interest:

This birthday was a big event for the next gen characters. At least one of them appeared in 7 pieces, or 23% of the total. Although we don't have the exact numbers, this is definitely a far larger showing than they've ever had in Kinky Kristmas.

This birthday was moderately good to the Weasleys. Only five out of seven siblings made appearances, but they were present in 9 pieces -- 29% of the total. It was good to see Fred and George finally reappear after having been mysteriously absent in Kinky Kristmas 2014 and 2013. In fact, they appeared twice -- and both times together. Naturally...

We mods observed a birthday kink trend as well. It seemed to us that an exceptionally high number of pieces featured some form of exhibitionism, sex in public, and/or the threat of getting caught. There also seemed to be unusually high rates of casual encounters and part-time partners vs. committed couples (or trios or etc.). So perhaps what we said earlier was wrong, and the holiday season is meant to be shared with loved ones but birthdays are for letting it all hang out, so to speak?? Well, if you're having a hard time coming up with a birthday gift for someone you know, perhaps our observation here will give you some ideas...? ;)


We feel that the most interesting statistic of Banging Birthday, however, is the fact that Harry was on the receiving end of a woman's strap-on in not one, but TWO pieces. Apparently nothing says "birthday" like Harry on all fours, taking it up the ass from a woman in charge! Happy pegging birthday!


Reveals have been rescheduled and will now take place on Thursday, May 12 at noon U.S. Eastern time. Once again, apologies for the delay. Unfortunately, it couldn't be avoided. But we're back on track and will see everyone here on Thursday with the reveals and some final party favors.