Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Fic: Silence Is Not Consent (or How Dirty Talk Can Help Change Rape Culture) Parvati/Laender, R 
12th June 2012 00:42
Title: Silence Is Not Consent (or How Dirty Talk Can Help Change Rape Culture)
Author: [info]woldy
Characters/Pairings: Parvati/Lavender, implied Dean/Seamus
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Chosen: dirty talk
Other warnings: non-graphic references to sexual assault
Word count: ~2100 words
Summary/Description: Asking for consent really isn't that hard. It might even be fun.
Notes: The policy quoted is copied verbatim from the recently closed Antioch College, and I learned about it in Michael Kimmel's book Guyland. This isn't quite as porny as most DD fics, but I promise my next story will make up for it. Many thanks to my beta, delphi, for the fantastic feedback.

"What's the point?" said Seamus. He was staring at the parchment pinned to the wall of the Gryffindor common room, brows knit together in consternation.

"Have you even read it, Seamus?" asked Parvati.

"Yeah," Seamus said, sounding put out. He glanced around at Dean, Ron, and Hermione as though expecting someone to offer support, obviously realized that he was alone on this one, and then turned back to Parvarti with a stubborn look on his face.

Lavender and Parvati exchanged looks, and Lavender rolled her eyes. Her expression said: Trust Seamus to be an idiot.

"Then you'll know what the point is," Parvati said, crossing her arms.

"But the Carrows are gone," Seamus blustered. "Half the Slytherins haven't come back this year, and the rest know they won't get away with this now. We don't need a policy telling us not to rape women."

"There were fourteen sexual assaults last year," Lavender snapped. "Less than half of them were committed by Slytherins."

Seamus blinked at her, startled into silence.

"It's not just Death Eaters who rape people," Parvati told him. "People you think are ordinary blokes commit sexual assaults, guys like Zacharias Smith." She stopped, regretting the final words instantly, and glanced over to Ginny.

"Smith's a bully," Ginny said, tossing her hair back and meeting Parvati's eyes. "He gets a kick out of trying it on with people and pushing his luck. I bet he thought he could get away with it. A lot of blokes think that they can get away with harassing girls. If I had a galleon for everyone who copped a feel, then I'd be halfway to rich."

"Who?" Ron demanded, and Hermione grabbed his arm, shushing him.

"I'm not defending rapists," Seamus said, sounding a little hurt. "But copping a feel's not the same as raping someone."

"No, it's not," Ginny replied, turning a hard, blazing gaze on Seamus. "But when blokes get away with grabbing your breast, or pinching your arse, or sticking their hand up your robe, then they start thinking they'll get away with rape. And if we tell people it's okay to grope, then we're telling them that they're right, they will get away with it."

Seamus looked from Ginny, to Parvati, to Lavender, and then finally back to the parchment on the wall.

Parvati could recite almost word-for-word what it said. After the battle, she'd gone with Lavender, Ginny, and Luna to raise the issue of sexual assault with Professor McGonagall. They'd been prepared for a fight, but McGonagall had just looked tired and sad. "I'll do what I can, girls," she had promised, and handed Parvati the first draft of the policy a week later.

They had spent several weeks over the summer drafting and redrafting the policy until it addressed everyone's concerns, and then Parvarti and Ginny had gone before the Board of Governors to explain why it was needed. An hour later, the new policy was approved by the Governors with no opposition and only two abstentions. The biggest lesson Parvarti had taken from the DA was to challenge authority and not be afraid to change things; it might have been the most important thing she'd learned at Hogwarts.

Hogwarts school policy on consent and sexual assault:

Consent is defined as the act of willingly and verbally agreeing to engage in specific sexual conduct. The following are clarifying points:
  • Consent is required each and every time there is sexual activity.
  • All parties must have a clear and accurate understanding of the sexual activity.
  • The person(s) who initiate(s) the sexual activity is responsible for asking for consent.
  • The person(s) who are asked are responsible for verbally responding.
  • Each new level of sexual activity requires consent.
  • Use of agreed upon forms of communication such as gestures or safe words is acceptable, but must be discussed and verbally agreed to by all parties before sexual activity occurs.
  • Consent is required regardless of the parties’ relationship, prior sexual history, or current activity (e.g. grinding on the dance floor is not consent for further sexual activity).
  • At any and all times when consent is withdrawn or not verbally agreed to, the sexual activity must stop immediately.
  • Silence is not consent.
  • Body movements and non-verbal responses such as moans are not consent.
  • A person cannot give consent while sleeping.
  • All parties must have unimpaired judgement (examples that may cause impairment include but are not limited to alcohol, drugs, mental health conditions, physical health conditions).
  • All parties must use safer sex practices.
  • All parties must disclose personal risk factors and any known STIs. Individuals are responsible for maintaining awareness of their sexual health.
  • These requirements for consent do not restrict with whom the sexual activity may occur, the type of sexual activity that occurs, the props/toys/tools that are used, the number of persons involved, the gender(s) or gender expressions of persons involved."

  • After a long pause, Seamus said. "I don't even know what some of it's talking about. It says 'body movements are not consent.' So, what, you have to ask out loud?"

    "Exactly," confirmed Lavender.

    "How does that work?"

    Oh, for goodness' sake, Parvati thought. She looked over at Ginny, who gave a one-shouldered shrug that conveyed I don't care which one of us explains it.

    "Well," Parvati began, "if you wanted to kiss somebody—"

    "Like Dean, say," interjected Ginny.

    "—then you just ask them beforehand," Parvarti said.

    "You want me to say 'Hey, Dean, wanna get off with me?'" Seamus said sarcastically. Then his cheeks suddenly pinked and his eyes darted to Dean as he quickly added, "Just as an example, 'cos I'm not—"

    "Perhaps with a bit more tact and charm," Ginny said dryly.

    "Merlin's balls, I don't want to have talks about my feelings!" Seamus protested as a flood of red spread across his face and down his neck.

    "Maybe Dean does," said Lavender, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

    "Um—" Dean said, looking uncomfortable, and shot Parvati a pleading look.

    "Okay, let's take an example," said Parvati, because although Seamus deserved the embarrassment, Dean didn't. "Let's say I fancy Lavender. I could start by saying, 'Your hair looks beautiful today and I'd really like to touch it. Can I?'"

    "May I," Hermione said, and everyone turned to stare at her. "Sorry. It's just a bit more grammatically correct."

    Beside her, Ron muttered, "I can't believe you sometimes."

    "'May I?'" Parvati amended.

    "And then I say yes or no," added Lavender.

    "But that's not even sex!" Seamus said, gesticulating at the parchment. "It says here 'Each new level of sexual activity requires consent.'"

    "Because snogging somebody doesn't necessarily mean wanting to screw them," Ginny explained in a slow, deliberate voice.

    "Oi, I don't want to hear my sister say 'screw'!"

    "Oh, get over it," Ginny retorted, making a face at him. "It's much better to talk about screwing—" Ron clapped his hands over his ears. "—than have a culture of sexual assaults and silence."

    "So you have to keep stopping all the time to talk about it?" Seamus pursued.

    "You have to ask if they want to do something instead of assuming," Parvati told him, patience dwindling.

    "Some people are capable of having mature conversations about sex," Lavender said pointedly. "Maybe you should try it?"

    "What if I don't want to have mature conversations?"

    "I bet Dean's ready to have mature conversations with you," said Lavender.

    "I'm fine either way, actually," Dean muttered, shuffling his feet, and Seamus's eyes flickered over to him before darting away.

    "It just...sounds a bit girly," Seamus said awkwardly, his face as red as a tomato. "Won't that ruin the mood so nobody gets any?"

    "You're taking the piss, right?" Ginny shot back.

    "Is she still saying 'screw'?" demanded Ron, whose hands were clamped over his ears. Everyone ignored him.

    "It won't ruin the mood unless you're an idiot about it," Parvati said.

    "How's it supposed to be done, then?" Seamus glared when Parvarti narrowed her eyes at him. "How am I supposed to know if nobody—"

    "Right," said Parvati, lifting her chin. "I've asked if I can touch Lavender's hair—"

    "I've agreed she can," Lavender put in.

    "—but maybe after a while I want to kiss her. So I say 'May I kiss you?'"

    "And I say yes," said Lavender.

    There was a moment of silence, in which Parvati realized that a) this was the first time either she or Lavender had said anything about their — was it a relationship? — um, thing, and b) nobody looked surprised. Carefully not looking at Lavender, Parvarti watched the occupants of the common room glance covertly around to check whether they were alone in their previous suspicions and felt her cheeks grow hot.

    "Then a bit later," Lavender said, breaking the uncomfortable silence, "I'd like to unbutton Parvati's shirt, so I say, 'D'you mind if I take this off?"'

    Parvati's heart skipped a beat. "Yes. I mean, no. I mean, go ahead, I don't mind!" she said, suddenly flustered. She mustered the courage to look up, and met Lavender's warm brown eyes.

    There were a million interpretations for this. Maybe Lavender was just explaining things to Seamus, maybe she was putting on a show for her ex-boyfriend, or maybe this thing between them wasn't important enough to keep secret. Or maybe Lavender had chosen this moment to announce their relationship clear to everyone. Maybe she was coming out. Lavender's eyes were soft, her expression very serious, and Parvati felt warmth spreading through her.

    This is for you, Lavender, she thought, taking a deep breath, and said "Then I might say 'I'd like to touch your breast.'"

    "Please do," Lavender replied instantly.

    "That's actually pretty hot," Ron muttered, and there was an "ow!" that Parvarti suspected was the result of Hermione elbowing him in the ribs. She didn't dare look away from Lavender.

    "Is it all right if I lick your nipples?" Parvarti asked, pulse racing.

    "Very," said Lavender, flashing a smile that made Parvati feel hot all over.

    "But you can't do that with actual, y'know, sex, can you?" Seamus interrupted, like a splash of cold water. "I mean what do you call people's bits?"

    "Pussy," Ginny said promptly, and there was an "Aaargh!" of protest from Ron. "Or cock, if it's Dean. You could say cunt, I s’pose, but a lot of people don't like it."

    "Use whatever words you're comfortable with," Parvarti suggested, chest tightening as she said, "I could ask Lavender, 'Would you like me to slide my fingers inside you?'"

    "Can I touch your clitoris?" Lavender asked, looking right into Parvarti's eyes, and oh Circe, now she couldn't not imagine that.

    It shouldn't be possible for anyone to talk dirty with such an innocent expression, Parvarti thought, aware that she was getting wet. "Can I go down on you?" she said.

    "’Course you can, but will you finger me first?" said Lavender, voice a little husky.

    "I'd love to," said Parvati instantly. "I want to feel you all wet around my hand. I want to know what you taste like."

    "Blimey," Dean murmured, and the realization that everyone was listening shattered the moment with Lavender. We're sitting on the common room surrounded by people, Parvati told herself and flushed, looking down at her feet.

    "Quod erat demonstrandum," Hermione said, in a voice that was a few notes higher than usual.

    "'Mione, what does that even—"

    "It means Parvarti has proved her point."

    "My point is that asking for consent really isn't that hard," said Parvarti, cheeks flaming.

    "And if you do it right, it's pretty sexy," Lavender added.

    Parvati heard a rustle and the creak of floorboards, and then a warm hand took hers. She looked up into Lavender's face, seeing pink cheeks, smiling brown eyes, and not a hint of regret.

    "Lavender and I have things to talk about," Parvarti said, entwining her fingers with Lavender's.

    She glanced around the room and saw Ginny smiling at her, Hermione wavering about whether or not to be shocked, and Ron watching with a slightly glazed expression. Dean was gazing out the window, while Seamus stared fixedly at his fingernails.

    "I think maybe you and Dean should talk about it too," Parvati suggested lightly.

    "I'm sure one of you will figure out the right words," Lavender said, squeezing Parvarti's hand, and Parvarti followed her out of the common room.


    Endnote: I am aware that the policy provided here doesn't entirely fit with the world-building in canon given that there is no mention of magic and that it presumes people are over the age of consent. I considered amending the policy, but decided that it wasn't the best use of the very limited time I have for fannish activity. If anyone would like to write an amended policy that is more Hogwarts-appropriate then please go ahead and I'll happily link to it.
    Comments 
    12th June 2012 09:48
    This is fantastic! I love the way you make full consent sexy, and especially adore the way you made the process of creating the policy a collaborative process between staff and students. I think it's apt that age of consent isn't really mentioned here, actually, because most of the students are likely underage (depending on the age of consent in the wizarding world), and even when they're not, the list acknowledges that they may still be having sex, and that consent is equally as important for them.
    15th June 2012 22:23
    I'm really glad you like it, and thank you for the generous and thoughtful comment! I totally agree with your point about the age of consent, even though I find it hard somehow to imagine even a liberal school adopting that approach. Though maybe my imagination needs more practice.
    12th June 2012 12:14
    I love this so very much. So very, very, very much. Parvati and Lavender with their soft questions, the bravery in giving the example and quietly coming out at the same time, and so hot!

    "Can I go down on you?" she said.

    "’Course you can, but will you finger me first?" said Lavender, voice a little husky.

    "I'd love to," said Parvati instantly. "I want to feel you all wet around my hand. I want to know what you taste like."


    Like Dean, I'm ready for a cold shower.

    I also loved Ginny's stance - just get over it and do the right thing, all of you. I am in love with this entire fic. Thank you so much for writing it.
    15th June 2012 22:32
    I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for the lovely comment!
    12th June 2012 13:06
    I want to go share this with folks who are having trouble understanding consent, because this gets it across wonderfully. And it deals with the issue of being embarrassed to talk about it, both privately, and publicly, as well as talking about how easy it is to go from "secret relationship" because you're afraid of coming out publicly to "can't talk to my partner." It's blunt, hot, and wonderful.
    15th June 2012 22:33
    I'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the lovely comment! You are absolutely welcome to share this with people if you want, and even to switch out the character names so that it's not obviously fanfic if that would help. I'd be flattered :-)
    12th June 2012 14:10
    That was awesome! I can admit though I was a bit leery when reading the title. Like another comment stated, it makes me want to link those with consent issue here. Don't apologize about the lack of porn. Not all porn needs to be graphic to work well and while I, personally, think most dirty talk is abhorrent, this was well done and sexy.
    15th June 2012 22:33
    I'm really glad you liked it.
    12th June 2012 14:47
    This is really fabulous!
    It deals straightforwardly yet deftly with consent issues. The sweet way Parvati and Lavender showed how very sexy getting consent can be, and the way you kept everyone perfectly in character, was well done!
    Great job!
    15th June 2012 22:35
    I'm really glad you enjoyed it!
    12th June 2012 16:20
    Anonymous
    This was wonderful - a very hot way to convey the necessary information.

    Thanks so much for sharing!

    Mary
    15th June 2012 22:35
    Glad you liked it!
    12th June 2012 20:49
    MMMMM. I was in high school when Antioch came up with their policy, and I remember wishing my high school had a policy like it.

    And yes, boys, consent requested and received is INCREDIBLY sexy. I think I absolutely melted the first time someone asked me before kissing me. "May I kiss you now, please?" YES, PLEASE DO.

    [info]woldy, I love that little interplay between Lavender and Parvati. It's got me all hot. MMMMMM.
    15th June 2012 22:36
    I'm really glad it worked for you! I only heard about the Antioch policy a few weeks ago, but it seemed like a great fic premise and I'm totally with you about the hotness of asking for consent.
    12th June 2012 23:27
    Ah, this is wonderful. Sexy and funny all at once, and it gets an important topic out in the open in a straight-forward honest way that still feels true to the characters. Well done!
    15th June 2012 22:40
    I'm really glad you enjoyed it!
    14th June 2012 05:50
    This was amazing. Ginny was awesome - such a wonderful attitude to have (I wish more people did.) Lavender and Pavarti were great together - I adore Pavarti's inner dialogue, I was so quickly right there with her getting all flustered and blushy. Thank you!!
    15th June 2012 22:51
    I'm really glad you liked it! I had a lot of fun writing all the ladies here :-D
    14th June 2012 13:48
    Oh, this is so well done! It addresses a serious issue with, as Ginny says, "tact and charm." (And it's hot!) But most importantly, it gets the point across that consent can be asked and given as a natural part of intimacy. The dialog flows so well and seems naturally in character. Excellent job!
    15th June 2012 22:52
    I'm really glad it worked for you and especially that the consent seemed natural. Thanks for the lovely comment!
    17th June 2012 17:41
    THANK YOU so much for this. Consent is a huge issue in fandom for me, and you've used it in this fic so wonderfully. I love the post-war context and the characterizations (especially Hermione's interjections). :)
    17th June 2012 22:53
    Glad you liked it!
    18th June 2012 03:38
    I love the premise of this - absolutely brilliant and sexy.
    19th June 2012 15:43
    I'm glad you enjoyed it :-)
    30th June 2012 07:24
    I loved this. I loved how sexy you made talking about sex and establishing consent. Very nice!
    1st July 2012 09:06
    I'm glad you enjoyed it :-)
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