Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: snegurochka_lee
From: torino10154

Title: Torn
Characters/Pairings: Teddy/James, Harry/Teddy
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: Infidelity, oral, anal, handjobs, masturbation, first time
Other Warnings/Content: James is sixteen at the start of his relationship with Teddy, Harry is divorced.
Word Count: ~3475
Summary/Description: Teddy has a bit of a Potter problem. Maybe he'd better explain it himself.
Author's Notes: I hope this fic is something like what you were looking for with your prompt. I certainly enjoyed writing it. A huge thank you to my wonderful betas. ♥



I am so fucked.

Where to begin? At the beginning, where I tell you I am an orphan, my godfather is the famous Harry Potter? Or a little bit after that perhaps….

I'd always admired him. Harry, that is. He treated me like a son until he had a son of his own, and then I realised in some ways I had it even better. There were a lot fewer "rules" when you weren't the first born son, or any child thereafter.

I had a bit of a crush on him when I was younger, I'll admit. Did you ever have someone you looked up to? Maybe a teacher or athlete, and when you grow up you want to be just like that person. That was Harry.

Besides who doesn't have a crush on him? I've seen the way women look at him, especially when he's in his dress robes. He is a good looking bloke, easy going, ready laugh.

Mostly though, he's just my godfather.

I'd spent a lot of time with him and his family over the years, dinners three or four times a week in the summer, and after I left Hogwarts, as well. Holidays with the Weasleys, Gran in tow.

To further complicate matters, James and I are thick as thieves. I think I was like a big brother to him, and he looked up to me when he was younger. First, I liked having someone to do what I wanted, but once he got a bit bigger I realised he was a clever bloke. Sense of humour like his Uncle George, definitely a trickster.

The real problem started when Harry was away at a conference in Brussels. Ginny had left him by then, and moved to Spain to coach Real Madrid's Quidditch team. So he needed me to keep an eye on the children. Just to be sure they didn't get into any trouble.

Not a problem, I told him, and it might not have been if I'd remembered to lock the bathroom door. But no. There I am, having a wank, when in walks James. He was sixteen at the time, thank God, because I really am not that kind of person, whatever other problems I may have.

"Can't a bloke get some privacy?" I barked at him, hoping he'd get the hint but that's when I noticed he was staring. Staring right at my cock.

Fuck. I started to shove myself back in my pants.

"Wait!" James said urgently, a hint of pink at his cheeks. "You do that, too? I mean, get off in the loo and flush it?"

"Lot less messy, isn't it?" I said, and testing him for a reaction I gave myself a stroke. I could see his pajama bottoms tenting, knew he was getting hard. "Come on. We can both do it at the same time."

He seemed at a loss for words.

"Just two blokes having a wank. Nothing wrong with that."

Little did I know…Not six months later, he asked if he could touch me. I'm damn sure it would have been a lot sooner had he not been away at school for the majority of the time.

"I just want to see if it feels the same," he said reaching for my cock and I pulled my hand back and let him. Oh, bloody hell, it didn't feel the same at all, having James wanking me. Seeing his narrow fingers wrapped around me, knowing I was letting him do it, well, I came kinda quick after that.

Before I knew it, my hand was on his cock, long and slender just like his body. He came in just three strokes.

For a while I pretended there was nothing wrong with the two of us occasionally having it off together. It was just two blokes having a nice time, but when James begged—yes, begged—to suck me off, I knew things were getting serious between us.

Seeing him on his knees, my cock sliding in and out of his mouth, spit dribbling down his chin….Shit! It was hot. I felt so powerful, too, thrusting into his sweet mouth. I gripped the sides of his head and came so hard I saw stars. He blushed scarlet when he told me he'd come in his pants. Untouched.

Now, what man is going to refuse a gorgeous bloke like James, who wants to blow him every time they meet? Not this one, I can tell you. Not that being with the Potters was ever bad, but it definitely improved after that. For nearly a year, any time I ran into James, we'd have a quickie in the loo or a fumble under the blankets.

I drew the line at fucking him until he was of age. I really imagined in my head that what we were doing was perfectly all right as long as we didn't "have intercourse". Blow jobs and hand jobs, that's nothing serious, right?

It was a self-imposed, stupid, rule I know. Especially considering everything else we were doing. Even though I knew it was ridiculous, and I was counting down the days until his birthday, I still clung to the rule. But when James Apparated to my flat after his party and stripped off his clothes, I knew it had been well worth the wait.

Let me tell you a little something: a hot, tight, virgin arse? Fuck. There isn't anything like it. I was glad we'd both taken the edge off earlier or I might have embarrassed myself.

As it was, I exhaled slowly as James sank down on my cock. Watching his face was incredible. He'd wince and then sigh as he lowered himself another inch.

"Gimme a minute," he breathed, once he was fully seated. I felt his arse clench and release around me several times, the grip like a vice. No mouth or hand felt like this.

"I need to move, Jamie," I said and he lifted up then slid back down. Neither of us could speak. Truth be told, I could barely breathe. He began to set a rhythm, his cock bobbing against his stomach as he rode me.

Finally, I couldn't hold back anymore. I gripped his hips and snapped my own and we both moaned.

"Fuck, yeah," James said, holding himself still while I did all the work. "Harder, Teddy, please. So close...." He wrapped a hand around himself and wanked furiously as I fucked him. The tightness in my groin began to uncoil and I thrust up into him one more time, pulsing into his arse just as his come splattered hot against my stomach.

Damn, that was brilliant. I've replayed the scene over and over again in my mind when I needed something to bring me off. It does the trick. Every. Single. Time.

Here's where the story gets a bit more complicated.

It wasn't planned, I swear. I never considered cheating on James. After that first time we fucked, I never messed around. Not once. Trust me, I had the opportunity, too.

We didn't tell anyone about us, though, because we had started out together when James was a bit young and he is seven years younger than me. Plus, he's like family, though not by blood. I guess we were worried how people would react.

We figured once he left Hogwarts he would move into my flat, we'd tell Harry and Gran then. It was all planned out in my head anyway.

It hasn't been important to mention it until now, but I'm an Auror. My mum was one and Harry is, naturally. Not only an Auror but a newly minted one, I only finished up my training this last year.

There was a big training exercise in the Forbidden Forest. Headmistress McGonagall allows Harry to bring his trainees there every year, from what I've heard. I think she would do anything for him, even though she's always scared the piss out of me. She's proud of her house. Proud of Harry.

Somehow I got separated from my partner—fucking stupid prick anyway, John bloody Carmichael. I didn't panic though, at first. Then I heard the Centaurs coming and well, I've heard stories. I know students are safe, but I'm an adult and was all alone.

Suddenly I felt a hand over my mouth and I wanted to shout, but then I recognised the scent of Harry's aftershave and relaxed as he pulled me against him and slowly rounded the large tree behind us, hiding us both from view.

We could hear the Centaurs but not see them, so we dared not move until we were sure they were gone. The rush of adrenaline turned me on a bit, and I discovered that Harry was hard, too. And well…I lightly brushed my arse against the front of his robes. I'm not especially proud of it, but I did do it.

"Fuck," Harry breathed in my ear and the tone in his voice went straight to my hardening cock. I pressed up against him again, I really couldn't help it. We stood, barely moving, for several long minutes until finally we heard the Centaurs leaving.

I opened my mouth to say something, but before I knew it, Harry had crushed his lips to mine. There really is nothing like snogging your hero. I mean I never think of him as famous but he's my godfather, my champion. I was undone.

He spun me around to face him and pressed my back against the tree, his hand finding his way to my groin and rubbing. The scent of him, of the forest, the adrenaline, the absolute wrongness of it addled my brains, I think. I certainly haven't been the same since.

Eventually, though, I put some of my brain cells together and reached for his cock.

"God, yes, Teddy," Harry groaned in my ear and I thought maybe I'd died. I pulled back and slid to the ground. He braced his hands on the tree, watching me as I pulled his cock from his pants. Thick and long, it was gorgeous, and I took as much as I could into my mouth.

He rolled his hips forward as I bobbed my head, savouring the taste of him on my tongue. He had endurance I wasn't used to. My jaw was beginning to ache, not that I was about to complain. I reached for his sac and rolled his balls in my hand, somehow it seemed more intimate than sucking his cock.

Harry seemed to approve, as he began moving his hips faster, the head of his cock occasionally hitting the back of my throat. I just let him fuck my face, I was so turned on I didn't care if I gagged.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he said as I felt the first drops of come hit my tongue, and I sucked and swallowed and refused to lose a single drop.

He stood panting for a moment before pulling me up and snogging me like he was trying to eat me alive. I would have let him, too.

We broke apart after several long moments and he reached for my trousers. To my horror I came in a single stroke and soiled both of our Auror robes.

"I'm so—" I started to apologise but he kissed me quiet.

"Shhh, Teddy." He flicked his wand at the both of us to remove any evidence of our…activities. "I've got to get back to the Ministry. Come by for dinner tonight?"

I racked my brain trying to think of why I couldn't, and it was then that my conscience, or what was left of it anyway, recalled a small detail.

James. My boyfriend.

"Um," I stuttered, torn quite in two. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want Harry. But that would likely kill James, who I also wanted, no doubt about it.

"Tonight's not good for you?" Harry asked, looking at me with such intensity that I nearly forgot the question.

"I'll, er, let you know." Harry nodded and snogged me again—Jesus!—then stepped back.

"We should get back." He turned and I followed silently behind him and once we were reunited with the other trainees, Harry led the lot of us to the gates of Hogwarts where we were free to Apparate away.

I Apparated straight to my flat and was shocked to find James there, dozing on the couch.

Unfortunately before I could even make a cuppa laced with something strong, he was awake. For the first time that I can remember, I wasn't all that keen when he wanted to suck me off.

"You're not in the mood?" James asked me and I shrugged. "That's all right, I can help you get in the mood." James grinned his winning smile, the one that normally had me falling on my knees to suck him off, but this time I just felt queasy.

"Maybe you're coming down with something," he said, concerned, and I nearly laughed.

Yeah, a conscience.

Then he asked me the question that nearly killed me.

"Is there someone else?"

"No, of course not," I said irritably and much too quickly. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Easter hols." James flopped back down on the couch. "Thought about going to see Mum, but I think I'll wait for summer. I promised Grandpa I'd stay at the Burrow tonight with Albus and Lily, then we'll all be back home with Dad tomorrow."

It was then I realised that tonight was my only chance alone with Harry, and Harry likely knew it, too, when he'd invited me.

"You know, I'm really not feeling well, Jamie," I said suddenly exhausted, mentally more than physically though my stomach was in knots. If I was feeling guilty, I was certainly trying to hide it.

Even from myself.

"All right." James came up and hugged me, kissing me softly on the lips. "I'll send you an owl tomorrow, see how you're doing."

I sat down on the couch after James left and thought about what to do about Harry. Finally, I Summoned a quill and parchment and penned a note.

I showered and changed into jeans and a dress shirt, the picture of the casual male, and there was already an owl waiting for me. Damn, Harry was eager.

Seven o'clock.

I shivered. I was so turned on, knowing Harry wanted me. I pressed the heal of my hand to my cock as the image of Harry fucking me flashed in my mind. Talk about being ruined for other men.

I poured myself a drink and threw it back in one go. I'd take courage in any form I could get it.

I looked at the clock and finally it was nearly seven. Wiping my hands nervously on my jeans, I closed my eyes and imagined Harry's front door, Apparating there with a crack.

Before I'd knocked three times, Harry opened the door and ushered me in. He, too, was dressed casually, the top buttons undone on his shirt and the sudden desire to lick his neck was nearly overwhelming.

"I'm glad you're here, Teddy," he said as we walked to the kitchen. "The children are coming home tomorrow. I wanted to have a chance to talk to you, uninterrupted, before they got here."

I nodded, a lump stuck somewhere in my throat. He leaned against the counter, so casually sexy and cool. I knew I'd be a fool to turn down anything he wanted. If he asked me to get on all fours and bark like a dog, I'd probably be willing to do it.

So why did I feel sick to my stomach?

He looked at me. Not a way he'd ever looked at me before today, but I've certainly had other people look at me like that. He wanted me, and before I knew it I fell into his arms, breathing in the familiar scent of him again. I nuzzled against that patch of skin at his throat, the tip of my tongue tracing up his neck. His hands immediately began to roam, grasping my arse and pulling me to him, our erections meeting, the pressure sublime.

"You looked so gorgeous today, Teddy," Harry whispered. "I haven't been able to get you out of my mind all day."

"Me neither," I said honestly. Being this close to him again made me forget my objections, forget the reasons this was not a good idea.

I wanted him to split me in two, to make me come, to make me forget…everything.

We snogged and groped, licked and moaned, but when his hand went to the flies of my jeans, I saw a flash of dark hair and brown eyes and I grasped Harry's wrist to stop him.

"Wait." I felt as surprised as he looked. I didn't think there was anything I wanted more than to come at his hand. I was afraid to look into his eyes for a moment, afraid he might see the reasons I was so conflicted.

However, his fingers were gentle on my chin as he turned me to face him.

"Are we going too fast, Teddy?" he asked softly, eyes searching mine.

I didn't know what to say. Everything was so perfect, just what anyone would want.

"Is there someone else?" I felt his body pull back slightly. I wanted to say, no, no one, only you, but the words wouldn't come. I'd been so quick to deny it with James, but with Harry I found I couldn't lie.

"C'mere," he said, pulling me into a hug, nothing like the passionate embraces we'd shared earlier. This was purely comforting and I almost wanted to cry.

He rubbed circles on my back and spoke soothingly. "We'll have supper, just like always, all right?"

I nodded. "I—"

"You don't need to explain yourself." Harry pulled back and held me at arms length.

"Thank you," I managed to say as I was overwhelmed by Harry's understanding, something that was characteristic of him as long as I could remember.

Harry let go of me and reached into the cupboard for two plates.

I opened the drawer where Harry kept the cutlery and took out two settings, carrying them to the table. It was odd how quickly we moved back into normal movements, how easily we ignored what happened just now, back in the forest.

Dinner was awkward at first, but Harry, always as good as his word, made no more advances, though I got the impression more than once it took a lot for him to restrain himself.

As I left, I promised to get in touch when I felt a little more level-headed, though I couldn't imagine when that would be.

*

So you can see my problem now, can't you?

Harry has always loved me and he will continue to do no matter what. He's always been there for me, larger than life. He's someone I admire, look up to.

James is in love with me, though neither of us has ever put it into words. I never thought we needed to, honestly.

I take a bottle of Muggle whisky to bed with me, that night, to see if it can help clear my mind. Or help me forget the mess I'm in.

When I get to the bottom of the bottle, I wipe my nose on my shirtsleeve and stare at the ceiling, in the dark, for a very long time.

~*~

James and Harry were washing up when Albus walked into the kitchen.

"Hey fuck breath, is it true you're taking it from Teddy?" As James turned toward his brother, his expression told of embarrassment mixed with obvious veracity.

The plate in Harry's hands fell to the floor as if in slow motion, shattering into a dozen pieces.

Albus and James both looked at Harry.

"It slipped," Harry muttered under his breath, his heart hammering in his chest, his mind reeling. He pointed his wand at it and said, "Reparo."

Albus shook his head, probably wondering how he got away with such foul language, and said to James, "So is it true? You're bobbing on his knob?"

James snapped at Albus, the colour in his cheeks rising, "Shut it, come stain." But he didn't deny it.

Harry dried his hands and walked out of the kitchen, stomach turning, breath coming in short pants.

He should have known. How could he not have realised?

Teddy was with James.

James and Albus followed him out into the corridor.

"Are you all right, Dad?" James said and Harry almost couldn't look at him. Finally he raised his eyes and met his son's concerned face.

"Yeah. I'll be fine." He left James and Albus and went back to finish washing up the pots and pans.