20th August, 1994


Dear Sirius,

I hope this letter finds you safe and sound, and that you've managed to find somewhere suitably remote. Dumbledore told me about your escape. I was very relieved, of course, but also proud of Harry -- he's every bit as brave as his parents. And like them, he also has friends who love him, for which I'm sure we're both thankful.

I'm no longer at Hogwarts. Snape was so furious at your escape that he "accidentally" told his students about me. So it's back to London and Muggle job hunting for me; that's what I've been doing this last couple of months. But I've been there before, there's no point in regrets. What I do regret, though, is that Peter managed to get away. Things could have been so different now.

Anyway, I hope you are as well as you can be under the circumstances.

Your friend,
Remus



8th September, 1994


Dear Remus,

Thanks for writing to me. I'm sorry to hear about the job, but I can't say I'm surprised that Snape did that. Once a bastard, always a bastard; that seems to hold true in his case.

Buckbeak and I are in hiding, obviously, but we are both well. The sun is shining here, which is a nice change.

I've thought a lot about that night. It was so strange, seeing you again like that. Pity there wasn't more time. I think about them now, all those things that ought to be said. But no point in regrets, as you say, which is why I hope you're not tormenting yourself too much over what happened. The full moon has never been your fault. I wanted to tell you that, and a lot more things besides, but there was no time. Perhaps later.

Sirius



30th September


Sirius,

It's quite uncanny how well you still know me, even after all these years. I suppose I shouldn't try to deny that I felt more than a bit guilty when I came back to myself again. If it wasn't for me, you could be free now. It's hard not to think about that.

I, too, wish there had been more time. Twelve years of wrongdoing can't be resolved in ten minutes, I'm afraid. But I'm very happy to have your friendship back. It means more to me than I can say.

Do you remember the summer after Hogwarts? I thought about it last week, leaving the castle. But of course, a lot of things were different back then.

All my best,
Remus



15th October


Dear Remus,

I hope you're not going to be a stubborn git and keep blaming yourself. Easy enough to say 'What if', but nothing good ever comes of it. What if I hadn't suspected you of being the spy? Believe me, there was more than enough time to reflect on that in Azkaban.

I do remember that summer -- even the Dementors couldn't take that away. I remember the sea, the sun, the cliffs, you. The important things tend to stick.

As always,
Sirius

P.S.: Do you remember the first time I kissed you behind a greenhouse? Number thirteen, I think it was.



3rd November


My dear Sirius,

I'm impressed, as always, by how accurate your memory is. I'm afraid I don't remember exactly which greenhouse it was, but other details are vivid enough. Truly, the important things tend to stick.

I remember other things, as well: you, spread out before me on the bed, knees apart and hair tousled, face alight with that wide, happy grin of yours. Or waking up from a transformation and knowing you were there. Or the two of us coming home late at night, after a few rounds of Firewhisky down the pub, tired and sick of fighting and still not managing to be completely unhappy.

Those memories were stained for years, but not anymore. They used to be bitter, but now they're sweet as well. I'm thankful.

Remus

P.S.: I miss you.



Moony,

I'm hard now, do you know that? It's been years -- had almost forgotten what it felt like. But you've started it now. Fuck.

This will either make you laugh or turn you on, quite possibly both: I'm sniffing your letters just to try and catch the scent of you. Yeah, I even turned into Padfoot just to smell it better. The worst part is -- I think it worked. Maybe it's just my imagination, but it's all coming back and I can't believe I ever forgot what it's like to be hard and wanting like this. It's just... remembering the way we used to be, and knowing you feel the same way. Damn.

Wish you were here now. Wish you'd push me against the wall and rip off my clothes and fuck me like you never wanted to let go.

Yours,
Sirius



Dearest Padfoot,

I wish you were here so we could clear your name and perhaps try to go back to where we once were. But rest assured, that latter part would involve fucking. Lots of it. Against the wall or over the desk or on the floor or on the bed -- how does that sound to you? You want it rough and fast? Slow and careful? You'll have it, any way you like, once you're back here, I promise.

(And, in case you're still wondering: me too.)

Yours,
Moony

 

My dearest Moony,

You are still clearly a sadistic fuck who knows how to torture a man. Fortunately, you still also always know what to say. Would you believe that I came so hard from your last letter that I thought I'd faint? Buckbeak got worried, even.

It's the thought of what I've been missing, and knowing you're on the other side of the world missing it just as much. But writing helps. Just putting it into words, in a letter that you'll touch and read -- it helps.

Yes, I'm hard again, writing this. I'm touching myself with the hand that's not writing, imagining you're touching me, imagining I'm touching you. Funny how the body never forgets.

Love,
Padfoot


 
My dearest Sirius,

If you think I'm the sadist here, then you should take a look at yourself. I'm not the one who writes about touching myself, am I? (Though I could, of course, if you'd like me to. Which you might.)

I talked to Dumbledore the other day, asking his opinion on whether it might possibly be safe for you to return. Things seem to have calmed down a bit, but he still thinks it's dangerous. I wish he weren't right so often. Perhaps if you went into hiding, spending most of the time as Padfoot -- but would you be able to live like that, now? I hate the thought of you being trapped yet again.

For selfish reasons, however, I wish you'd come here and hide. You can imagine why. I'd make sure you'd be too busy to even think about leaving the house. Do you have any idea how much I long for you? To touch you, feel you, spread your legs and bury myself in you... I can't remember ever being this horny, not even at eighteen.

Promise me one thing: that you'll be here the moment it's safe. Don't ever again let me wait.

All my love,
Remus


 
Dearest Moony,

I'm sure you've been following the events at Hogwarts. I can't sit around here, not when Harry's life is in danger. I owe it to James and Lily, so I'm making preparations to go home. I know you'll understand.

It also means I'll see you soon. I keep thinking about all those things we still have to do. There's another storm brewing, and hopefully we'll both come out of it alive, together. It sounds bleak, but somehow I have hope, this time. It's difficult to explain, but it's as if I know there's light beyond the darkness, and that I'll get to see it. Well, it sounds stupid, but I trust you'll understand. I love you, and I'm yours.

Always,
Padfoot