Title: Erection Collection
Author: unbroken_halo
Characters/Pairings: Luna Lovegood/Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood/Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood/Draco Malfoy, Implied Luna Lovegood/Colin Creevy
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Chosen: harems, phallophilia, rimming
Other Warnings: Slightly cracky, maybe?
Word Count: 1,163
Summary/Description: Luna likes to collect all sorts of magical creatures.
Author's Notes: Mucha Smoochas and great big thank yous to alisanne for wading through this at the last minute and clearing out the crap tense, punctuation, and forgotten words. OMG y'all! It's het, again from me. *g* I have no idea what I was thinking, it just really struck me as something Luna might do when I looked up harems, and found out that the title is slang for male harems with a female at the head of things.

Erection Collection
Luna flipped through the pages of her scrapbook, idly wasting time before she met her newest companion. In the pages of this book was her life's work. She had made it a point to study the magical creatures in the Wizarding world, and weren't men, wizards, just as magical as the Blibbering Humdingers? Many claimed to be baffled by the opposite sex, and so Luna had set out to debunk the mystery of magical men.

And honestly, she thought Once you got right down to it, men weren't that hard to figure out. They were really only concerned with one thing, and happily enough, Luna happened to be entranced with the exact same thing; their penis.

Of course, she'd started with the most magical of them all; Harry Potter. Turning the book to its beginning, Luna ran a finger down Harry's photograph and smiled at him. The picture grinned at Luna, blushing slightly as her fingertip grazed along his cock.

Her research had discovered that being a Half-blood hadn't hindered him one bit, and his prick was quite lovely. She had already learned that wand length had no bearing on penis length, much to her disappointment. Harry's cock was of average length and girth, but some wicked person had circumcised the poor man. Though lacking in experience, Harry had certain made up for it in enthusiasm, and who could blame him, after all? It takes a lot out of a man to search for magical items.

Harry was a gentleman, in and out of bed, though she'd never let her knowledge of that fact be known when she and Ginny met for their Wednesday luncheons.

She grinned and turned the page to the next person in her collection; Neville Longbottom. My, my. What an interesting turn of events that had been. She licked her lips and Neville winked at her.

Flushing slightly at the memory, Luna drew in a breath. Neville had been a kind and thorough lover. His hands had been rough against her skin, the calluses on his fingers catching in her clothing, and none of his former fumbling had appeared, except when she had wrapped her small fingers around his very generous length.

Well, she knew the saying: those who can, do, and those who can't, teach. Luna grinned again. Neville certainly taught her a thing or two that night in the Room of Requirement, and did she ever learn that purity of blood had nothing to do with ability! The once Boy-Who-Could-Be-A-Squib turned out to be a fantastic lover in spite of all the going-ons during her sixth year at Hogwarts.

She had found all of the baby fat that the Carrows had cursed off of Neville in his long, thick, and uncut cock. Neville had not only taken her gently, but firmly and expertly. He filled her, stretched her to what, at the time, had been her limit, and then, not only had Neville shown her that he knew exactly what to do with his apple-headed cock, but he had also used his talented tongue all over her body.

Neville had licked her front and back, up and down in sensitive places that she had never dreamed of, and she had come screaming nonsense as he breeched her arse with his tongue. Luna shivered, recalling their time together fondly.

Even though Luna had her Halfblood and a Pureblood in her tally marks, she wanted to make certain that her experience with Neville hadn't been a fluke. Not that she didn't want to repeat the intimacy; Merlin did she ever want to do that again! However, she had needed another test subject. Having more than one research partner added to the trial she had going, and really, one never could have enough when collecting magical creatures.

Luna checked the time with her wand then looked at her notebook to see how much longer she had to reminisce before her next subject arrived. The smoky numbers assured her she had enough to review another partner or two. Turning the page, she looked down into the face of Draco Malfoy.

Shaking her head at the smirk he gave her, Luna recalled the circumstances of their encounter. While it had not been entirely unpleasant, it hadn't exactly been a most joyous occasion either. Luna didn't like to think about her time at Malfoy Manor; however it was Draco that made the time there more bearable until Harry had come and rescued them.

Draco'd come to her cell one night, and though she expected the worst from him, she ended up listening to him moan about his situation. This had occurred every night for nearly two weeks until Luna could no longer stand his snivelling voice.

"If you are finished whinging, could you please torture me properly and get it over with?" Luna inquired one night, stopping the repeated complaints in midstream.

Draco had blinked, and in his moment of hesitation, Luna struck. She pressed him up against the wall and slanted her mouth over Draco's. His eyes widened as she ran her hand down his robes, cupping his groin, and humming against his lips.

Drawing back, Luna grinned and began to unbutton his robes. "Now, if I had known you were hiding something like this underneath all of that blubbering, I would have done this sooner."

Draco blinked at her, then smirked and took her to the floor. There were no more conversations after that.

Luna found Draco to be an impatient lover, who saw to his own satisfaction above anything else. His cock hadn't been as impressive as Neville's (disappointing really, seeing as she was now ruined for other men) and just as average as Harry's (so much for being The Chosen One), with the exception of Draco being intact. Idly, she wondered if it was a Muggle trait to mutilate their men, and hoped she would find out with her next appointment.

Luna turned the pages until she came to a blank one and pulled a quill from behind her ear. Tapping it with her wand, she inscribed the next person's name in flowing script. She wrote down the facts about him that she knew and left the other information blank. Stopping to consider how tonight's meeting should go, she checked the time once again. Only a few more minutes and he would arrive. She couldn't wait.

Luna licked her lips and nibbled on the end of the quill as she dug through her pockets and searched for the shrunken camera she had brought along. Anticipation filled her, making her heart race and a slow deep heat begin in her belly.

Someone clearing his throat brought her out of her thoughts and she looked up. A smile curled her lips and Luna closed her book of men, placing it on the table. She stood and reached out to grasp the hand of the man before her.

"Colin Creevy! Wonderful to see you. Do you mind if I take your photo?"