Title: More Than Seven Minutes
Author: lesyeuxverts
Characters/Pairings: Snape/Harry
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Chosen: sex in the workplace, mutual masturbation
Other Warnings: Terribly AU … just pretend that Deathly Hallows never happened, and it will make Snape and Harry so much happier. Me too, for that matter.
Word Count: 2300ish
Summary/Description: Seven minutes in heaven was the most inane game that Severus had ever had the misfortune to learn.
Author's Notes: Huge thanks to entrenous88 for keeping me company while I wrote this and keeping me on track for my deadline!



Seven minutes in heaven was the most inane game that Severus had ever had the misfortune to learn. He glared at Professor Granger-Weasley, the perpetrator of this farce, but he suspected that his Polyjuiced form lacked the ability to intimidate. She only smiled at him and turned to pass a flagon of Polyjuice to another one of his colleagues. He smirked at Pomona Sprout's moue of distaste – no one but Albus had ever learned the trick of making this potion taste palatable – but turned away from the disquieting transformation, the melting and reformation of bone and sinew, skin and muscle.

Severus strode over to the table of refreshments and downed a beaker of Firewhiskey. Damn Granger, who was more of an interfering busybody as Deputy Headmistress than she'd ever been as a student – it was her fault for having this inane idea in the first place, Severus was certain – and damn her bloody optimistic Gryffindor ideas of "staff unity" and "bonding." Playing Muggle games under the influence of Polyjuice was not an appropriate activity for the start-of-term staff meeting.

Setting the empty glass down, Severus raised his hand to his face, testing the unfamiliar features. His upper lip was numb from the Firewhiskey. His cheekbones were high and his chin was strong, pointed. The bones of his face were prominent. Severus stared at his hand, noting the jutting wrist-bone and bony fingers. When his fingers touched his large, beak-like nose, Severus sighed. He'd transformed into himself – there was no escaping this wretched body, not even for an evening. Damn Granger must not have mixed the hairs for Polyjuice properly.

Severus glared at Potter – or someone who'd been Polyjuiced into Potter – whoever it was, someone with the temerity to approach Severus.

Potter was not intimidated by his glare and his hand brushed against the small of Severus's back as he reached for a glass of Firewhiskey. "Er, hello."

Severus refused to participate in degrading, mind-numbing conversation with Gryffindors or Gryffindor look-alikes, and he sneered.

"Wow. You … uh, you do a really good job of imitating Snape." Potter took a large gulp of his Firewhiskey, his throat muscles convulsing. Severus repressed the shudder that ran through his body at the sight of Potter swallowing. It caused a hint of desire that sparked through his veins, but he had no intention of acknowledging it.

With a conscious effort to gentle his voice and mask his vocabulary, Severus said, "Well, I have watched him a lot. He's very noticeable, isn't he?"

Potter downed the rest of his Firewhiskey in two fast gulps and reached for another glass. His hand brushed against the small of Severus's back, lingering there. "I … yeah. Yeah, I had noticed that."

Potter's hand was warm, the faint circular caresses that he made against Severus's spine were not entirely unpleasant, and Severus allowed the hand to rest there, repressing a smirk at the thought of this person's outrage when they discovered that he was, in fact, Severus Snape and not under the influence of Polyjuice.

Severus reached for another glass of Firewhiskey, leaning into Potter's touch as he did so. Potter was not unattractive – his green eyes were striking, much as his mother's eyes had been, and he was not ill-favored – and this imposter had a more tolerable personality than the original, not that Potter's hadn't improved since his return to Hogwarts.

When Professor Granger-Weasley called them to form a circle and begin, another shiver ran down Severus's spine - it was less at the loss of contact with Potter, he insisted, than it was at the thought of the game that they were about to play.

Potter downed his Firewhiskey and snagged two full glasses, passing one to Snape. They yielded to the insistence of Granger-Weasley, Severus wincing when he passed near her and her voice rang in his ears. She was clever enough to escape her own trap, claiming a role as organizer and sitting out during the game itself.

With a flick of her wand, the Sorting Hat was transformed into an ordinary, harmless-looking Muggle bottle. Severus sneered at the gratuitous abuse of an ancient magical artifact before he glanced at Potter and remembered to calm his expression. If he was to have any chance with Potter's look-alike this evening, he'd have to restrain his personality.

Granger explained the rules of the game again in the high-pitched voice that had annoyed Severus when she was his student. She was as thorough and detailed as she'd been then, and by the time she finished, Severus felt the pleasant buzz of the Firewhiskey beginning to wear off. Potter, sitting next to him, glanced at Severus's empty glass and silently Summoned the pitcher from the refreshment table, refilling both of their glasses. Severus raised his glass in a silent toast, certain that the man couldn't be Potter, who was never this considerate or this sneaky when it came to disregarding rules that Severus wanted him to disregard.

The burn of the Firewhiskey down his throat was a pleasant distraction, but Granger's voice cut through the fog of inebriation. "Remember, the activities during the seven minutes spent in the closet do not necessarily need to be sexual in nature. You may take this opportunity to get to know one another better, to see past the misconceptions that are associated with a person's physical appearance, or to develop a rapport with your colleagues that will be useful during the school year as you coordinate lesson plans and deal with the students together."

Potter nudged him, just a brush of elbow against ribs, electric and brief. Severus blinked through the haze at the Person-Who-Looked-Like-The-Boy-Who-Lived, stared at the pale skin, the green eyes, the curve of the chin, the tempting hollow beneath his throat. Severus took another sip of his Firewhiskey, enjoyed the numbing sensation and the jolt of feeling Potter's hand against his wrist, the smoothness and the slide of skin against skin.

Severus had ignored most of Granger's rules, so he blinked and came to himself slowly, slipping through the haze of Firewhiskey when he realized that everyone was staring at him. "Your turn, Professor Snape," she said. "Err. Whoever you are, that is, who has the appearance of Professor Snape, I mean."

The glass of the bottle was cool against Severus's fingers, and he felt the thrum of the Sorting Hat's personality resonate through his fingers. So that's how it is, is it? echoed through Severus's mind, and he grasped at the last vestiges of his control, fumbled through the intoxication to pull up his Occlumency shields. Now, now, you know that you can't keep me out, the Sorting Hat-turned-bottle said. I can see what your desires are and I think…

The bottle spun in wild circles and rotated several times before resting just at Severus's right, pointing at Potter. Severus watched the man for a long moment before realizing that Granger and his other colleagues were staring at them. He offered his hand to the Polyjuiced Potter and led him over to the cupboard.

It was dark, and in the crack of light that came from the outline of the door, Severus could see the light gleaming off of Potter's lips. Potter's eyes were in the shadows and his expression was unreadable, but when Severus leaned forward to brush their lips together, his hands came up to hold Severus's shoulders.

Potter's lips were as soft as they looked, yielding and warm and dry. Severus touched Potter's lips with his tongue and the kiss deepened, Potter's hands wandering down Severus's back to cup his arse. Potter tasted of Firewhiskey, spicy and alcoholic. Severus let the tip of his tongue cross Potter's lips, let it hover at the entrance to Potter's mouth, savoring the taste and waiting for permission to further explore his mouth. Potter's lips opened for him and Severus teased the edges of Potter's lips and stroked his tongue against Potter's tongue.

"You look just like Snape," Potter whispered into his ear. Potter's hands kneaded Severus's arse before they slipped lower to massage the back of his thighs.

Severus didn't dignify the comment with a response – under the effects of Polyjuice, anyone would have looked like him. He leaned forward, pressingagainst Potter's body. Warm breath against his neck, a hard thigh against his cock, and Potter's deft fingers stroked down his neck, down his spine, caressed each vertebra and slipped around to map his ribs and hipbones and thighs.

Severus unbuttoned Potter's shirt, traced his protruding collarbones. Potter was slender and bony, not at all Severus's idea of the perfect male figure, but his skin was soft and the taste of his lips was intoxicating. Severus thrust his tongue into Potter's mouth, not willing to be gentle and cautious now. He didn't have time for caution – the ticking of the timer buzzed in Severus's ear as he slid his hands across Potter's chest. Seven minutes was not nearly long enough for everything he wanted to do to Potter. Pausing with his fingertips brushing the skin next to Potter's nipple, Severus cupped the palm of his hand around Potter's heartbeat, feeling the thud-thud-thud of it echo through the bones in his hand.

Potter broke their kiss and began tracing Severus's jawline with his tongue, moving from chin to ear and pressing a kiss on Severus's earlobe. He was pressed close to Severus, his tongue flicking along the rim of Severus's ear. Severus moved his hands from Potter's chest, capturing his arse and pulling him even closer. Their cocks brushed together and through all of the layers of fabric, Severus felt Potter's hardness.

"You smell just like Snape," Potter said, his breath hot on Severus's ear. "Like the soap he uses and the potions that he brews. I … ah…"

Potter gasped as Severus traced the outline of his cock and began to fumble with the zipper. "Oh, that feels good."

"Silence," Severus said, biting his shoulder. Potter's skin was smooth and salty, and Severus bit harder when he moaned, disobeying Severus's order. Potter quieted then, but his hand came down from Severus's shoulder to press, open-palmed, against Severus's cock. The pressure was perfect and Severus arched his back, grinding into that delightful warm hand. Potter obliged him, slipping his hand into Severus's trousers and stroking him.

The timer's steady ticking changed to an obnoxious alarm noise, and Severus clung to Potter, catching his hand by the wrist and holding it there. "Don't stop," he said, his voice sounding unnatural, breathy and uneven.

Potter's fingers teased Severus's balls, a feather-light touch that matched the rhythm of his unsteady breathing. "What will the others think if we stay in here?"

"Damn the others," Severus said as he pushed Potter's legs apart and pulled down his pants. Potter's balls were heavy and warm in the palm of Severus's hand, and with his other hand, he touched Potter's cock, gathering the first drops of pre-come and bringing them to his mouth to taste.

A rap sounded on the door and they both jumped. Professor Granger-Weasley spoke through the door. "Professors … Professor Potter, Professor Snape, we know that you're both in there. It's the considered opinion of both the Headmistress and myself that the two of you will need to resolve your differences amicably before the start of term. We've decided that this is the best way to force such a resolution, and I've spelled the room to let you out only when it has occurred. One of the house elves will provide you with food and drink, and tend to your other needs. I suggest that you learn how to behave like adults as soon as possible."

Potter laughed, his breath huffing against Severus's neck as the sound of Granger-Weasley's footsteps receeded. Severus froze for a second before he started to push Potter away – he might have known that it was a trap, would have known it if it wasn't for the damnable Firewhiskey and the look on Potter's face.

"No," Potter said, clinging to him. "I just – I wasn't laughing at you. I just … she said … that we should learn to behave like adults, and we… well, we are."

He snickered again, and Severus's lips twitched. "Indeed."

In the darkness, Severus mapped Potter's body by touch, tonguing paths along his shoulder blade and down his spine to his buttocks. Potter's skin was musky with sweat and warm to the touch.

Potter thrust forward, his cock pressing against Severus's thigh, his mouth on Severus's neck. "I – oh," he said, gasping as Severus took him in his hand, stroking firmly. He fumbled in the darkness, moving to reciprocate. Through the buzz of the Firewhiskey that still clouded his senses, Severus knew it wouldn't take long – he bit down on his lower lip, muffling the sounds that he made as Potter stroked him off.

It was perhaps not what Severus would have imagined, if he had ever thought to imagine a mutually satisfactory conclusion to being locked in a closet with Harry Potter, but there they were, both of them sticky and out of breath.

Harry laughed again. "Hermione wouldn't ever believe that her plan had this effect."

Severus imagined that Potter probably couldn't see him in the dark of the closet, but he nodded nonetheless. "Indeed," he said. "I imagine it was not high on the list of Professor Granger-Weasley's expectations."

"Wait," Harry said, grabbing Severus when he reached for the door. "What are you doing?"

"I imagine that the locking spell is no longer in effect, since we have reached a satisfactory resolution of our tension, and–"

Harry kissed him hard, lacing his fingers through Severus's and keeping him from reaching the doorknob. "Not yet," he said. "We wouldn't want Hermione to think that we reconciled this easily."

Severus made no attempt to pull away, but he felt that it was necessary to protest. "It has been longer than the prescribed seven minutes in–"

"Heaven," Harry said, kissing him again. "Seven minutes in heaven doesn't have to be just seven minutes."

It was the most sensible rule that Severus had heard yet, and he surrendered gracefully to the kiss. Perhaps it wasn't an unbearably stupid game after all.