Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: luvscharlie
From: A Witty Watcher: silvernatasha

Title: Knock On My Door
Characters/Pairings: Ron/Lavender, background Ron/Hermione
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: Infidelity, stolen kisses, Christmas alone
Other Warnings: None
Word Count: 3,435
Summary/Description: As Ron's relationship with Hermione has its ups and downs, Lavender finds her heart broken over and over again.
Author's Notes: Thank you to my beta, H.

She hugged him, a bone-crushing, breath-squeezing hug. Ron didn't know how anyone could have strength to give such a hug right now, but he did know that it broke through the numbness that he was feeling. Fred was... The word 'gone' seemed to be the only one that his mind let him think at the moment.

Lavender pulled back and even Ron could recognise the slightly glazed look in her eyes from the pain potions Pomfrey had given her. He'd heard that she'd fallen; it was a miracle that she was even walking right now.

They stared at each other for a long moment until Lavender finally said, "I need to go check on Padma."

It was only when he saw the last curl of her hair flick around the corner that he realised she hadn't said 'Parvati'.

***

Lavender found it impossible for her gaze not to be drawn to him across the pub. He smiled at something Harry said and she sighed at the sight. She'd go and say hello, she decided, maybe offer him a drink. Dean and Seamus weren't going to be here for a while, after all; if she told them they were going to meet at eight, they never showed up until about twenty past. She supposed that she should have learned by now.

Waiting until he went over to the bar to get the next round, she appeared neatly at his elbow after he placed the order.

"Hi, Ron."

He looked down. "Lavender," he said, eyes widening slightly. "I thought I saw you across the room. You here by yourself?"

"Waiting for Seamus and Dean." She wrinkled her nose. "Well, most likely Seamus. That man does love to primp." Glancing over her shoulder, she checked the table where Ron had been sitting with Harry. "No Hermione with you tonight?"

Ron frowned, playing with the coins in his hand. "Er, no," he said eventually. "Had a big sort of fight. Things are... off at the moment."

His other hand lay on the bar and Lavender covered it with hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry," she said. That was just what you said, even if you didn't mean it in the slightest. Lavender looked up at him, giving him her best innocent smile. "Hey, if you ever want to, um, spent time together again, I live up above Scribbulus Inks." She ducked her head, the bashful look she'd perfected at a young age when trying to wrangle more money out of her father. "I mean, it's been a few years now. Might be nice to get to know each other again without the pressure of school and stuff."

Lavender turned her face up to him again, giving him a small smile.

He nodded slowly as the wizard behind the bar finally set the pints he'd ordered down in front of him. "Yeah," he echoed, watching her carefully. "Might be nice."

Lavender squealed suddenly as a pair of hands grabbed her around the waist and spun her around. She blushed furiously and hugged Seamus even as she berated for him for sneaking up on her. Above their heads, Dean exchanged greetings with Ron.

"Why don't you come join us?" Ron asked. He gave a lopsided grin. "Save me from Harry yammering on all night."

She manoeuvred herself easily enough into the seat next to Ron. As the evening drew on and several rounds of drinks passed, Lavender shifted ever closer. Under the table, her foot brushed against Ron's, stroking the back of his ankle; she studiously ignored Seamus' dark gaze and the hard look he was giving.

After a couple of glasses of wine, she was just a little off-balance as she stood to leave; she grinned as Ron grabbed her arm to keep her steady. "Careful there." But the feel of his hand on her bare skin made her want to be anything but careful.

"I think you need someone to walk to you home," Ron said, eyes narrowing as he watched Lavender tuck a lock of her loose hair behind her ear.

He made to stand up, but Seamus said, "I'll do it."

"Nah, s'alright," Ron said, shaking his head. "I think I can manage. It's only down the street, isn't it?" Lavender nodded, pleased that he'd remembered the brief mention from earlier. "See? It's no problem. I could do with some fresh air."

His hand rested on the small of Lavender's back as they left the Leaky Cauldron; Lavender could almost feel Seamus' glare boring into the back of her skull but she resisted the temptation to glance behind her.

She lingered in the doorway of her flat, the stairs dimly lit behind her. "It was nice seeing you again." She tucked her hair behind her ear, smiling up at him.

"Yeah. You, too. Uh, sleep well, I guess. Maybe I'll see you soon."

"I'd like that," she said softly.

When she finally closed the door on him, Lavender sighed, leaning back against the wall. It wasn't much, she thought, but it was a start. She grinned to herself as she ascended the stairs, humming gently as she toed off her shoes and pulled off the light cardigan she was wearing. Without her heels, she was steadier on her feet, but she still wobbled slightly when she heard a hurried knock at the door.

Skipping down the stairs, her mouth dropped open as she opened the door to a pink-cheeked Ron. "Hi," she breathed.

"Hi." Ron shuffled a little from side to side. "So, er, you said something earlier about spending time together."

"I did." Lavender bit her lip, watching as Ron's gaze slid down from her face and then back up again. She knew this dress gave her great cleavage and she wasn't going to shy away from the fact. If her back straightened a little to press her chest forward, it was entirely intentional. "Want to come in?"

He gave a slow smile. "Yeah, I'd like that."

***

Dean turned around from the stove, wooden spoon still in his hand. "Did you hear the latest news?"

"What news?" Lavender set down the wine glasses, wiping a speck of dirt off one with her thumb. "Anything interesting?"

"Ron and Hermione are back together."

Lavender's stomach clenched. She'd shared her bed with him again last night. He hadn't mentioned anything about a possible reconciliation. Hand faltering as she poured the wine, Lavender realised that they hadn't really done much talking.

Never mind. It was over now. Again.

***

It always started with a knock on the door. The first couple of times she'd been surprised to hear it, confused until she opened the door and saw him standing there with a forlorn expression on his face. Usually people realised that there was a doorbell after they had been to the flat a couple of times, but apparently not Ron. If he had realised, he still didn't use it.

Instead, hearing the knock came to make Lavender's heart beat a little faster. It was their special little thing, she thought, and she knew what to expect when she made it down the stairs.

He never said hello. There was, "I don't know why I'm in this relationship," and "she's driving me mental." But never hello. She didn't need hello. She needed the feel of his skin and to know that he was concentrating fully on her, purposely not thinking of any other women. Of the other woman.

Once, he said, "I just wanted to see you." He’d kissed her and left without another word. She could taste beer on his lips and had stood staring out at the alley for a good five minutes before finally closing the door. After that, she didn't see him for months but he never dropped entirely from her notice. News got around - Ron and Hermione were moving in together, so then there was endless speculation about when news of an engagement would follow. It stung, a realisation that he probably wouldn't ever come calling again. She tried to fool herself and say that she hadn't been waiting for him to turn up for weeks, but the heartache wouldn't go away.

She hadn't heard it for so long that the sound of the knock on the door startled her. Unwinding with a book and a drink after a day of work, Lavender listened carefully. Maybe she'd just been imagining it, hoping that he'd come back to her. But, no. There it was again, frantic almost. Unless you stuck him in front of a chessboard, Ron was far from patient.

Barefoot and nearly tripping, Lavender raced down the stairs. She stopped at the bottom to catch her breath and look more composed, one hand resting on the doorknob. An early December chill crept in under the door and the metal was cool to the touch.

Pulling open the door, Lavender looked up. She loved the blue of his eyes and hated to see the way that that their shape changed when he was upset, the tell-tale lines across his forehead from stress. Her breath caught in her chest and she felt light-headed from her dash down the stairs.

"Ron."

"I asked her to marry me and she says she needs to think about it." The tense quality of his tone made Lavender shiver. Angry and upset, he'd come to her for comfort. The thought was powerful and she smiled even as he pressed her up against the wall hard to kiss her, hands already roaming, reaching for the hem of her dress. "Fuck her," he growled, but she knew he had no intention of fucking Hermione tonight.

Lavender's arm reached out for the door, but her fingertips barely grazed it, certainly not enough to find purchase and close it. She stretched a leg instead, kicking the door shut. The air was cool now and Ron's body warm; willingly, she pressed herself against him, arms curling around his neck and shoulders. Her fingers toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck, just how she knew he liked it, giving in to the feel of his warm mouth on her skin.

Ron's hand grasped at her dress, thigh pressing between her legs as he pinned her against the wall. The denim of his jeans felt smooth and well-worn as Lavender tried to hook a leg around him. Since the last time he visited she hadn't had another man in her bed, though she wondered if they'd even make it to a bed this time. His other hand closed around her breast, giving a rough squeeze. She wanted to tell him that, yes, her tits were attached to her body so if he could be a little more gentle that would be great, thank you very much, but that involved far too much talking, something that she was in no mood to do right now.

Her fingers slipped between them, skimming over his erection. Ron gave a soft grunt, rocking against her hand. His own hand slid out from under her dress, quickly unfastening his jeans. He grasped her hips to turn her around. With little room to spare at the foot of the narrow staircase, Lavender found herself looking up at the light that flickered at the top of the stairs.

Ron grabbed the edge of her knickers, pulling them down roughly to make her gasp. He pressed himself against her, cock hot against her thigh and she had to bend forward, bracing her hands on the stairs lest she fall over. She barely had herself steady before he entered her, definitely not one of their more skilful couplings. He stayed surprisingly quiet for a moment while she gave a short cry at the sensation. Ron pushed her dress up further, bunching it up above her waist before he started to move. He fucked her, hard and fast without another word, while Lavender's fingers scrabbled at the threadbare carpet on the stairs.

Lavender's back arched. Oh, Merlin, she was going to feel this in the morning. Right now, though, she couldn't care less, abandoning herself to him the way she always did when he came knocking on her door. When he came to her, she gave him everything he wanted, a part of her still convinced that one day he'd come to his senses and stay. One day she wouldn't have to be the other woman. One day he'd do something small and stay for breakfast, just a little sign that he was hers. They'd never had breakfast together. Sometimes she was lucky if he was still there when she woke up.

Ron's fingers dug harder into her flesh and Lavender growled under her breath. Clearly the concept of being gentle was lost on him tonight. Then again, they hadn't even made it up the stairs so what did she expect?

His hand crept between her thighs, fingers slipping over slick skin. She heard a noise from him, then nearly bashed her head on a stair when he gave a hard thrust into her. Her body trembled and she closed her eyes. Giving herself over to him completely was so easy. She could abandon everything to Ron until all that remained were her feelings.

Except that was all that was ever left. Just her feelings and everything else was forgotten.

She whimpered as his fingers fumbled over her clit, tightening around him. It didn't take much more, Ron spilling himself into her a moment after Lavender had gasped out her orgasm.

Panting and sweaty, Lavender pitched forward on the stairs, knocking her knees hard enough to bruise. Ron almost fell on top of her and she groaned, his heavy weight the last thing she needed right now. He pressed a wet kiss to her neck and she laughed, feeling ridiculous.

She turned her head, giggling softly. Her hand slid around the back of his neck, Ron's hair slightly damp to the touch as she kissed him. "Bed," she decided, dress still hitched up around her waist.

***

Three days later there was half a page of the Daily Prophet dedicated to the Weasley-Granger engagement announcement.

Lavender put on some fuck-me shoes, danced until the early hours and went home with a stranger.

Waking up, she wished she'd just stayed home.

***

She could count on one hand how many times she had moved from the sofa today. The flat was quiet and, even with the windows closed against the cold, Lavender knew that Diagon Alley was almost completely empty. Most people were just where they wanted to be, at home with their families and enjoying Christmas Day in peace. Lavender was also just where she wanted to be - alone with no-one trying to pry smiles and false cheer from her.

When she heard the doorbell, she ignored it. She wasn't here, she wasn't going to answer it. If she stayed really, really still, perhaps she could just pretend that she didn't exist for just a couple of minutes.

She allowed herself a small smile, only to have it fall from her lips a moment later when she heard the clink of the lock and someone trudging up the old stairs.

"You gave me a key last summer," Seamus supplied from the doorway. Lavender closed her eyes, pained. Too late for her to pretend to be asleep or ill now, she burrowed further under the patchwork blanket that covered her and pouted stubbornly.

"Go away," she said, wearily.

He ignored her, sitting in the chair opposite her. The wicker creaked under his weight and Lavender narrowed her eyes petulantly at him.

"Funny story. I Flooed your mum's house to wish you a happy Christmas and give you a break from family stuff but she said you were spending Christmas at your da’s. Strangely enough, your da said that you were at your mam’s." He leant forward, his elbows resting on his knees.

"Yeah, hilarious story," she grumbled. If he would just go away, she could return to her wallowing. She had another box of chocolates that she hadn't started on yet.

"You could have come to mine and Dean's. You know Dean loves Christmas. And red wine. Which is the only reason I could escape - he's passed out on the sofa and apparently using Padma as a blanket."

"Good for them."

As much as she wanted to sound spiteful, she suddenly missed Dean's roast potatoes and how Neville always seemed to get something completely ridiculous in his Christmas cracker; a good sport, he always wore the hat all the way through dinner.

"If you didn't want to spend Christmas with your family, you could have come to your friends. We'd have liked to have had you there." He frowned. "I know I would have, anyway."

Lavender sighed. "I didn't want to be with anyone today. I just want to be alone, Seamus."

His expression hardened. "You mean you don't want to be with anyone because you can't be with Ron."

Her eyes widened. "Seamus—" she began.

"He doesn't love you," he interrupted. "He never will. He loves Hermione and he's going to marry her. He's just going to keep on breaking your heart."

Lavender looked down at the blanket, examining an old, faded square of material and the pattern which had once been so vibrant. She swallowed thickly, angry that he could just come in here and talk to her like this. This wasn't how today was supposed to go.

"Ron just keeps hurting you and you pretend like it's nothing. It doesn't just hurt you. Do you know how much it hurts someone who... who actually cares about what happens to your heart?"

Confused, she looked up, only now Seamus seemed to be avoiding her eyes. "Seamus?"

Quiet for a long moment, Seamus finally raised his gaze. He shook his head, a wry smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "You've really never figured it out, have you?"

Small memories pressed at her. Sure she had a headache coming on, Lavender drew her knees up, hugging them to her chest. "Please don't start saying stuff like that," she told him quietly.

"Then stop giving in to him. You're better than that."

She swallowed, shaking her head. "I don't think I am."

His face turning pink, Seamus scowled. "Oh, don't be so fecking ridiculous. You deserve to have someone love you back." His next words brought a wave of nausea over her. "Parvati would say the exact same thing and you know it."

"You can't know that!" Lavender covered her mouth with her hand, desperately tamping down her emotions to no avail. People generally knew better than to mention Parvati's name. Why was he doing this to her?

At the sound of the knock on the door, Lavender was halfway down the stairs before she registered Seamus' cry of protest. Her heart beat wildly, a mess of emotions in her head; she was sure that there were too many thoughts in her head. Even though she'd stood on this spot so many times before, this was the first time she hadn't wanted to open the door.

Glancing over her shoulder, she could see Seamus' feet at the top of the stairs. She didn't want to imagine his expression.

As she opened the door, Ron quirked a smile at her. He braced a hand on the door frame, leaning casually. "Hello," he said, breath puffing white in the cold.

Lavender swallowed. It was never hello. Every time he had knocked on the door, she had hoped it would be. She'd hoped so much to get a proper hello from him, like a normal person. But now she had it, the word hung awkwardly between them. They weren't a 'hello' couple. They weren't a couple at all.

Feeling sick to her stomach, Lavender gripped the doorknob tighter. Her chin trembled slightly as she sucked in a breath. If she didn't breathe slowly, she thought she might throw up on his shoes.

Instead, she said, "Goodbye," and closed the door.

Her eyes were as wide as saucers as she turned back towards the stairs. Behind her, Ron rapped on the door sharply. "Lavender? Lavender, what's the matter?"

I won't turn back, I won't turn back. Seamus' feet were still at the top of the stairs; he was waiting for her, just like always.

"Lavender, have I done something wrong?"

Ron's plaintive question broke her. Instead of crying, though, she collapsed into giggles, sinking to her knees. Laughing so hard, she didn't notice the tears trickling down her cheeks.

Finally, the knocking stopped.