Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Fic: Safe in His Arms - Harry/Draco - NC-17 
13th June 2008 06:24
Title: Safe in His Arms
Author: [info]elfflame
Characters: Harry/Draco
Rating: NC-17 (on the mild side)
Warnings: Nothing specifically…
Kinks chosen: Claustrophilia
Word Count: 4156
Summary: Draco helps Harry overcome his fear of that cupboard.
Author's notes: Not so much Claustrophila as Claustrophobia, though only of a specific enclosed space. I think I made it work… Based on an idea my Draco had once, and I had to use it when I saw the prompt. Owes a ton to Kabal, whom I adore. And to his Harry, who Draco utterly adores. And huge thanks to my beta team, who helped me with this at the last second, despite the hell this week has been.



For two men who had hated each other with a passion as boys, Harry and Draco had a wonderful life together. Sure, they'd had to deal with the reaction of family and friends, and the media had been difficult at the beginning, but really, theirs was a good life.

There were still problems, of course. Every life had it difficulties. In Harry and Draco’s case, the main difficulty seemed to be nightmares. Both had been through so much during the war, and night seemed to be the time when all those old worries and fears came to the fore. Forgotten or ignored for too long, and torturous for the other to hear before they managed to shake their lover awake.

But while Draco’s memories all centred around the final years of the war, Harry’s were much more far-reaching. In a way, he’d fought the war for seventeen years, only finally able to rest once Voldemort had truly died. From the moment he had lost his parents, Harry had had to fight to survive, and his battles had left deep scars.

Each time Draco woke to Harry screaming that he didn’t want to be put in the cupboard, his blood ran cold. If Harry would have allowed it, Draco would personally have murdered his lover’s family for what they’d done to him, an innocent child who’d done nothing more damaging than survive his parents’ death, and whose largest crime was being born magical.

After two years, Draco had to do something. This specific nightmare of Harry’s kept waking both of them when Harry was overstressed, and there seemed to be no end in sight.

Which was why they were here at Privet Drive. Of course, Harry didn’t know all of Draco’s plans. Just that he wanted to see the house where Harry had grown up. Though he did know that Draco was hoping it would exorcise some of his ghosts.

The first glimpse of the home Harry had grown up in was rather unassuming. “This is it?” Draco asked him.

The look on Harry’s face said quite plainly he didn’t want to be here, but was hoping that Draco was right, and that this would help more than not. “Yeah. Number four, Privet Drive. Hasn’t changed a bit. Not that I’d expected it to. Looks like Dud has an car now.”

Draco could see the red sportscar in the drive. Just another proof of how stupid Harry’s family was. He still didn’t trust Muggle machines himself. They were just so unsafe. “Well, you did say they spoiled him. Probably got it for him when he finished his schooling.”

“If he did,” Harry said with a snort. “He was never too great at schoolwork. Bullied me into finishing most of his stuff in primary school.”

“And you just did it?”

“He was always at least twice as big as me, Draco. And until Hogwarts…” He stopped, then sighed. “I had no other choice. Nothing I wanted to contemplate, anyway.”

Draco scowled. “Prat. Let me turn him into something slimy?”

“Draco, please. Besides…he…kind of made up for it later. Thanked me for saving him. Which from Dudley…well, it was a big deal at the time, at least.”

“Being grateful to you for saving his life isn’t enough to make up for everything else he’s done,” Draco assured him. Still, he was willing to let it rest. For now. “Come on. Let’s see if they’re home.” He ended up having to tug at Harry’s arm a bit for him to move, but finally they made their way up the walk, and Harry knocked at the door.

There was a rumbling voice inside at the sound, and another much higher one answering it, and then the tap of shoes as someone walked to the door. The woman who answered it looked extremely unattractive, tall and bony with an overly narrow and sour face. Draco didn’t generally like women in the first place, but he couldn’t help but wonder that any man had found her worth marrying.

At the sight of Harry and Draco standing at her door, her face took on a rigid, shocked look, which devolved quickly into disgust. “What are you doing here?”

Harry acted as though she’d said a simple greeting. “Hello, Aunt Petunia. This is Draco. He’s my lover. I just thought I’d show him where I grew up.”

Her eyes widened at the words, and she spluttered, obviously not sure which thing to be most alarmed about. Finally she settled on one. “Is he…one of your kind?” she whispered hoarsely, as though to say the words aloud would be a horrible crime.

“He’s a wizard, yeah,” Harry agreed.

The woman shushed him, then tried to wave them off. “We don’t want your lot here. Now go away.” But when she tried to shut the door, Harry put his foot in it to keep it from closing.

“No. We won’t be here long. But this was my home once, too.”

“And your kind nearly destroyed it!” Her face was scarlet now, and her voice had risen from the whisper and into a shriek. “Do you know what the place was like when your friends finally let us return? Do you? Scorch marks everywhere, everything broken to pieces…”

There were tears in her eyes, but Draco couldn’t feel sorry for the cow. He itched to slap her for obviously caring more about the things in her home than what might have happened to her nephew. “Interesting how you never thought to check to see if Harry had survived, then.” Draco knew for a fact that she hadn’t. Harry’d told him that he’d had no contact with his family since leaving.

The woman looked at him with those pale, washed out eyes, and he could see that she was inflating herself for another diatribe, but he shook his head. “I don’t care why. You had every opportunity to care about him, and you never did. The least you can do is let him exorcise a few of the demons you gifted him with over seventeen years of his life.”

“Draco!” But Draco wasn’t watching Harry. He was looking at his aunt.

Obviously the words had managed to strike some kind of chord, as her expression changed drastically from annoyed to bemused to worried. She glanced at Harry, then back to Draco, and he could see her eyes scan over his outfit—he’d worn a formal wizarding robe in a deep evergreen trimmed in silver lacings, knowing how the Dursleys would hate that. She scowled, but then her gaze dropped down to where his left hand was hidden in his pocket. He could almost see her putting two and two together in her mind, and had to bite back a wicked smile. Let her think he was holding his wand, if it convinced her to let them in.

Finally, her eyes looked past them and out into the street, obviously scanning the neighbourhood to see if anyone else was watching. “Fine. Come in. But you’re to go in and out and leave immediately, are we clear?”

Draco snorted, but he let Harry do the answering. “Thank you, Aunt Petunia.”

She stepped aside, and Harry led the way in, his hand tightening on Draco’s as two horribly large men entered the hall.

“Who is it, Petunia?” the older of the two was asking. He had a horrible mustache that Draco wanted to tear from his face, but he restrained himself—for now. Particularly when the man caught sight of their ‘visitors.’ “You! Out! Now! I won’t have you in this house! Get out!”

The younger looked from Harry to his parents, then back, and then took in Draco, his eyes widening. He wasn’t as fat as Harry had described, but he was large, and there was still a bit of paunch to him, though Draco could see the muscles that lay underneath. Perhaps he’d gone to work as a fighter full-time?

“Dad, he won’t hurt us. He helped us, remember?”

“Got our house nearly destroyed, you mean,” the older man was still blustering, that ridiculous mustache ruffling with his annoyance.

“Yeah, well, imagine if the Order hadn’t got you out, Uncle Vernon,” Harry said in a disgusted tone. “We won’t stay any longer than we have to for Draco to see the place, I can assure you of that.”

“We?” Obviously, upon seeing Harry, his uncle hadn’t looked any further, but at the sight of Draco, so obviously a wizard, his face went almost purple. “You’re a…a…w…”

“Wizard,” Draco finished for him, smirking. “And yes.” He slid his arm around Harry’s waist. “I’m also Harry’s lover.”

If anything, that made Harry’s uncle go even more purple. “L…” He turned to Harry, his eyes flashing. “You’re a fruit?” he asked, his voice shaking the house at the shout.

At first, Draco thought Harry was lost for words, but then he saw the calm fury flashing in Harry’s eyes. “I assure you, I would rather be a ‘fruit’ than follow the example you two set. But as it happens, no. I just happen to love Draco, and he just happens to be a man. And if you have a problem with that, you can go to hell.” And without a further word, Harry dragged at Draco’s hand, leading him up the stairs and into a small bedroom just off the landing.

He slammed the door closed, then leaned against Draco, who immediately put his arms around him and nuzzled him. “Are you all right, love?” Draco whispered.

“Will be,” Harry answered after a moment. “Just forgot how angry they make me.”

Draco stroked his back, then looked around the room, which seemed to have been made into a haven of Muggle technology. “Harry…what is all this stuff?”

Harry pulled away from him to look around, then snorted. “Looks like Dudders got his room back after all…” He turned back to Draco. “It’s video game equipment.”

“Video game? Those were the things you were telling me about that are like…pictures that interact?”

Harry nodded. “Dudley’s fascinated by them. They’re his favourite pastime. Aside from beating others up, anyway.”

“So…this was your room, then?” Draco asked, still looking at all the odd things Harry’s cousin had filled the room with.

“For seven years, yeah. Well, six and some, I guess. Nothing left of me, of course, but that’s no surprise. Then again, I didn’t exactly leave too much behind. And I imagine the Death Eaters probably destroyed all that.” He looked up at the ceiling, noticing a skylight that hadn’t been there before. “Wonder if they set fire to it all? The room looks to have been remodelled a bit…”

Draco huffed. Sure, he knew that the Dursleys hadn’t given Harry a proper room before that, but this space was already tiny. He could only imagine what the cupboard had been like. “Heathens,” he growled softly under his breath. “I don’t know why you didn’t turn them all into slugs when you left. They deserved it. All three of them.”

“Draco…”

“I know. I just…” Draco turned away, looking at the shelf behind him, which was filled with what looked like slim books all with similar colouring, and all the same height and width. He had a fleeting thought to wonder what sort of books an imbecile like Dudley read, then shook his head and focused on Harry instead. “I just hate realizing how badly they treated you.” He’d known, of course, but seeing their reactions had made it somehow more real. And all he could think of was how he’d done the same for so long, thinking Harry was treated like a god at home.

“It’s all right, Draco.”

“But it’s not! I…I see how it affected you every day. You don’t believe you’re good enough, or strong enough…not unless you’re in the heat of the moment. I always thought you were so…full of yourself.” Draco sighed. “But you’re not. You’re amazing, Harry. And if those fools can’t see that…”

“Is this why you wanted to come here, Draco? To tell me that? Don’t you think I know? I thought we’d gotten past all this a long time ago.”

“No. It wasn’t.” But this wasn’t turning out at all like he’d hoped. “I wanted…” He sighed again, then pulled Harry close, kissing him. “Show me the cupboard?”

Harry froze in his arms. “What? Why?”

“I just…” Draco swallowed. He could feel how unhappy Harry was with the request. But he had to try. “Please, Harry. Just show me. And if…if it’s too much, then we can leave, all right? I just…need to try this.”

“No. I’m not…I won’t.”

Draco cupped his cheeks. “I see how it affects you every day. I hate it. Please let me help you, Harry?”

“Help me how? I’m not going to let you hex them, Draco. No matter how much they might deserve it.”

“I wouldn’t do that, Harry.” Well, not in front of him, anyway. He was already considering coming back and hexing all three of them silly, but he wouldn’t do that if he thought Harry would find out in any way.

“Then what?” Harry asked. He sounded confused, and really, Draco couldn’t blame him.

If he hadn’t been thinking about it in the shower, he might never have come up with the idea in the first place. It had been a simple thought, really. He’d been trying to figure out a way to help Harry, and his hand had strayed down to wank as he always did in the shower, a stray thought of, ‘It’s too bad he can’t get over it by just coming’ in his mind when the solution hit him.

Which was why they were here. Where better to get over the pain of what this family had done to him than by bringing him to orgasm in a place that he was so afraid of?

Draco threaded his fingers with Harry’s. “I want…I’m hoping we can get rid of the pain—some of it, at least—of that place for you.”

Harry’s expression closed off at that. “What do you mean?”

Tugging Harry closer, Draco nuzzled his neck. “I want to make you feel good there.”

That drew a hysterical laugh from Harry. “Not possible, Draco. I think it’s time to leave…” He tried to pull away.

Draco didn’t let him. “No. Please, Harry. Let me try this, at least? If it doesn’t work, we can go home, and…do whatever else it will take. But please, try it just once?”

“I can’t, Draco. It’s…I just can’t.” Harry looked panicked at the thought, and Draco sighed, pulling him into a tight hug.

“All right. I won’t. Just…show me the cupboard, at least?”

For a long moment, Harry stayed quiet, just curled around Draco. Draco wasn’t sure if he was thinking, or trying to recover, or just building up the strength he would need to face the thought, but finally he pulled back. “All right. But I say to stop, then we leave right away, okay?”

Draco nodded slowly. They would leave. Once he’d at least tried to see his plan through. Even if he had to banish those people from their own house while he did it. “All right.”

Still, even having agreed, it took Harry quite some time to pull himself together. Draco couldn’t blame him. Likely, those people were still waiting in the hallway, and it would be hard to face them after losing his temper before. Not that Draco could blame him for that, either.

Finally, after a few more minutes, Harry nodded, and they made their way down to the hall. His aunt and uncle were nowhere to be seen. But that cousin of his was still there, and watching them warily. “I sent them off to calm them down. Told them I’d watch you so that you wouldn’t destroy the house. I’ll be back in an hour. Will it be enough?”

That Dudley, who had been at least as much at fault for Harry’s childhood as his parents, would do such a thing for his cousin said a lot. Apparently, he had changed. Harry looked astonished. “Thank you, Dudley.”

Dudley shrugged, obviously uncomfortable with the thanks. “Least I can do. Just…probably would be best if you weren’t here when they got back, eh?”

Harry nodded. “We won’t be.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but before he could, Dudley nodded, then turned and walked out the door.

“I thought you said he didn’t like you?” Draco asked once he was sure Dudley couldn’t hear them.

“He didn’t. I guess he’s changed a bit.” He looked out the way Dudley had gone for a moment, then led the way down the stairs. “It’s down here.”

“Right.” Draco followed Harry down the last few stairs, and watched as he moved to the door underneath, biting his lip as Harry hesitated in front of the door.

“Harry?” Draco slid his arm around Harry’s waist.

“I can’t…” Harry tried to pull back, but Draco pulled him close.

“They’re not here. They can’t hurt you any more. It’s just a cupboard.”

“You don’t know…Draco…I can’t…”

Draco stroked his cheek. “We’ll just look inside for a moment, okay? And I won’t let go of you the entire time. I promise.” Now there was a promise he quite intended to keep. He wasn’t about to let go of Harry until after they’d made it home.

Finally, Harry nodded. “All right. But just for a moment.” He took a deep breath, then reached for the doorknob, and pulled the door open, flinching as the hinges gave a creak.

The cupboard didn’t look unusual in the least. Filled with old boxes, a few bits of broken furniture and still-wrapped gifts. Draco leaned forward to get a better look. He frowned, seeing there was no room at all inside, then banished the things up to Dudley’s extra room. Let him decide what to do with them later. Now, Draco had to focus on Harry.

“Draco. No. You said…”

“I know. But, love…how are you ever going to get over this if you don’t even try? I swear. I won’t let go of you. Not for a second. I promise. Please, Harry…”

Harry seemed to fold in on himself, though he leaned against Draco when the other man tugged him closer. “I hate it. I can’t go in there alone, Draco.”

“I wasn’t going to ask you to, love.”

“You’re coming with me?” Harry looked shocked, as though Draco were promising to go into the bowels of hell for him. And when Draco thought about it, he realized Harry might actually feel that way—a very little bit, at least.

“Of course. I promised you I wouldn’t let you go, didn’t I?”

“Thought…you meant my hand or something.”

Draco smiled and kissed him. “Come on. I think we can both fit. Now that all the detritus is gone.”

Harry looked a bit doubtful, but finally he moved into the cupboard, and Draco followed, having to duck his head a bit to get past the door. There was a bit of a ledge at one side, so he settled on it, then pulled Harry into his lap. He was shaking. Draco felt horrible for doing this to him, but he had to try. “Shhh, love. It’s all right. I’m right here.”

Giving a choked sob, Harry pressed his face to Draco’s shoulder. Draco hugged him tight, stroking his back and murmuring soft, comforting sounds to him.

The sound was so heartbreaking that Draco was considering forgetting his plan when Harry’s head came up, and lips found his. He pulled back to look at Harry. “Love?” he whispered.

Harry kissed him again, desperation edging it. “Help me forget, Draco.”

Relieved Harry seemed to have given in to this idea, Draco took a deep breath, then nodded. At least he wouldn’t have to fight him. Now he only had to worry about whether or not it would work. But that could wait until later, once they were home. He pulled Harry into a deeper kiss, then slid a hand under Harry’s shirt to stroke over his skin. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to get him to fully relax, but he had to increase his pleasure, at the very least, or this plan wouldn’t work. And whatever else, touch was the best way to do that. Harry’d always been hungry to be touched.

Skin prickling at first under Draco’s fingers, Harry gave a soft jump as Draco’s fingers slid over his skin. “Shh, love. Just me,” Draco whispered to him, nuzzling his neck. Harry relaxed a bit at the words, but Draco knew that he wouldn’t be able to relax him much this way. The soft touches seemed to only increase Harry’s trepidations. Perhaps it was best to just get this over with.

He slid his fingers into Harry’s trousers, popping open the button to give himself a bit more room. As his fingers searched for their goal, he pulled Harry’s face gently down into another kiss.

Harry gasped when Draco’s fingers curled around his still mostly soft cock. “Draco…maybe this isn’t…”

“Shhh… Give this a chance, love, please? If it doesn’t seem to work after a few minutes, we’ll go. All right?”

Face dropping to hide in Draco’s shoulder, Harry nodded. “Okay,” Harry said, his voice muffled in the cloth of Draco’s shirt.

Draco turned his face, his lips brushing Harry’s temple as he spoke. “Just focus on me. How good it feels.” Even as he spoke, his hand moved teasingly over Harry’s cock. “Focus on the pleasure of the moment, love. My voice. My fingers around you as they move. Let me make you feel good.”

Even if he hadn’t been holding Harry so close, he wouldn’t have been able to miss the moan from Harry at that. “Yes. Please, Draco. Help me feel good?”

“Gladly, love,” Draco said with a grin, his hand speeding up. Harry’s cock was a bit firmer now, which was a good sign. And a brush of a thumb over the head pulled a groan from him. Soon his voice was louder, his body melting into Draco’s as he pressed up into each stroke.

It was hard to do this and just focus on Harry, with all the noises he was making. All Draco wanted to do was grind up against him, to vanish their clothes and make love to him. But he couldn’t do that. Right now, he had to focus only on what Harry needed. They could make love properly when they got home. If this worked.

So he pressed his fingers deeper into Harry’s shorts, cupping his balls, then stroked up over the now-hard shaft again, his fingers sweeping once more over the head. This dragged another moan from Harry, his hips pushing up to get even more. “Oh…Draco… Don’t stop. Please. Don’t let go.”

It was hard for Draco to control the lust in his voice, but he managed. Just barely. There was still a bit of a purr when he spoke. “Never, love.”

Harry’s moans loud now, his cock hard and hot in Draco’s hand, the head leaking just a bit. He was pressing up into Draco’s hand with each stroke and Draco knew it wouldn’t take much more. Draco’s lips traced over the bits of Harry’s face he could reach, biting back his own reactions. “That’s right, love. So gorgeous. Just let go. It can’t hurt you any more.”

Apparently, that did the trick. Harry let out a sharper moan, then pressed suddenly up into Draco’s hand, biting into his collarbone, but even that seemed unable to stifle the moan. Draco couldn’t hold back a gasp at the sharp sting. And then Harry was coming. Draco could feel his cock pulse in his hand, his cock becoming sticky and slick as his come coated it, even as his hand slowed to a stop.

“So beautiful, my love,” he whispered, kissing him again as he came down from his climax. Now he could only wait to see if his plan had worked.

It took a long time for Harry to regain enough breath to speak. “God…” And then he laughed. There was an edge of hysteria in his voice, but he looked up and kissed Draco, so he relaxed and pulled him into a hug.

“You all right, then?”

Harry looked around, nodding slowly, a bit unsure. “Still don’t like it in here…” He was clinging rather tight. Still, if he could do that, it had to be a step in the right direction, didn’t it?

“Why don’t we get out of here, then?”

That brought a much more eager nod, and Harry’s eyes met Draco’s. “Yeah. Let’s go home.”

Draco pressed a kiss to Harry’s lips and smiled, his arms tight around Harry. He met Harry’s eyes, his heart swelling, then counted to three before Apparating them home.
Comments 
13th June 2008 13:42
I love this story so much. I guess it helps that I have a big thing for Harry dealing with his past - and being haunted by it. Draco has a great way of helping him here :-)

Thanks for a good read! And for yourself and Draco *hugs*
13th June 2008 15:23
Thank you, hon. *snuggles you both* I'm glad you like.
13th June 2008 17:43
Lovely way to get rid of a fear.... or at least replace Harry's fears!
13th June 2008 19:29
That's what Draco thought. Glad you liked it. :D
14th June 2008 06:32
Oh, your Draco is such a sweetheart - helping Harry work through his issues like that :) Bless!
14th June 2008 09:26
He adores his sweet Harry. :D
14th June 2008 07:28
*happy sighs* Can I just powersnuggle Draco for this? :D

I love how he really wants to help Harry deal with his past. And I also like how the Dursleys are portrayed. I just want to xxxdeleted for profanitiesxxx Petunia and Vernon. :P
But I like how Dudley has changed a bit. At least towards Harry.
14th June 2008 09:27
Sure! :D

Thank you, hon. I'm glad I managed to get it written.

And writing a "good" Dudley was kind of fun. :)
14th June 2008 16:10
I love your take on this. It was very sweet and loving of Draco to go to all this trouble to help Harry. I liked your Dudley (funny how we both wrote him into our fics this month and how we both made him pleasant!).
Nice job, hon!
14th June 2008 16:20
Thank you. I'm glad you like it.

I think you and I read each other's minds... :D Not that that's a bad thing... ;)
14th June 2008 16:40
*giggles*
Maybe it's a sign that we should collab sometime? ;)
14th June 2008 16:56
We should! You can help me do an snarryco since I can't seem to manage on my own. :P
14th June 2008 17:36
Snarryco? Is that my OT3 you mean? *g*
Absolutely! I'll ping. *g*
14th June 2008 17:53
I seemed to recall you saying something to that effect at one point... :D

Sounds good.
14th June 2008 20:46
Very sweet and quite clever of Draco! I liked Dudley here, too.
14th June 2008 23:17
Thank you. :D Glad you liked it.
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