Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Fic: The Golden Frog - Arthur/Molly - R 
15th February 2008 07:31
Title: The Golden Frog
Author: [info]lee_west
Characters: Arthur/Molly
Rating: R
Summary: Molly can't stop being pregnant, and the twins decide to take matters in their own hands. No, not those twins.
Warnings: Really bad birth control advice. Do not try this at home!
Kinks chosen: 1. Rhythm method: The method of family planning where one observes the time of ovulation, with a cameo by 2. Charms: Talismans, good luck items.
Word Count: ~1,900
Author's notes: An armful of love and gratitude to my two excellent betas, [info]onehundredmoons and [info]lyras.

June 1979

Arthur thrust harder inside Molly, his eyes closed in ecstasy, and then – out of habit – made a jerking motion backwards, almost sliding out of her. Molly immediately clasped her legs around him and pushed her hips up, forcing him inside her again. "Don't worry," she whispered, "we're safe tonight."


July 1979

Fabian and Gideon exchanged a knowing look when Molly suddenly left the dinner table and ran to the bathroom, covering her mouth with her hand. They knew all too well what that meant, having seen their sister sick like that many times over. Together they lifted their eyes to Arthur, who had the grace to blush violently. He tried to ignore them and concentrated on the task of cutting the meat on Percy's plate into tiny pieces, but his brothers-in-law wouldn't let him off the hook so easily.

"Arthur," Fabian started.

"Again?" Gideon asked, in mock horror.

Arthur thought it was amazing – and irritating – that the twins always completed each other's sentences as if they shared a brain. He glanced at his own twin sons inside the playpen, two spitting images of their uncles, and wondered if Fred and George would be as mischievous as Fabian and Gideon were. He hoped not. He had no idea how his in-laws had coped with the two rascals without going mad. But Fred and George, barely toddlers, were already showing signs of mischief – of all his children, they were the ones who could never be left unattended. And they also seemed to share a brain, especially when it came to doing things they shouldn't.

It was all Molly's fault, for naming the twins with the same initials as her brothers, he decided. Two brothers who also happened to be very nosy.

"You do know there's something called-"

"-Contraceptive Potion?" Fabian ended with a smirk.

"Of course I do," Arthur answered angrily. "But you prats know very well that Molly's allergic to it."

"So why don't you keep your cock-"

"-Inside your pants?" Gideon laughed. Bill and Charlie laughed, too.

"Will you watch your language around the children?" Arthur asked angrily.

"They have to learn one day-"

"-Right, boys?"

Bill and Charlie nodded happily and were sent to the other room by Arthur. Bill passed by the playpen and conked one of his brothers on the head softly. The victim wailed. His twin followed suit, of course. Arthur scolded Bill, and Charlie stuck his tongue out at his older brother, who promptly conked him on the head, too. Charlie threw a punch at Bill, who ran around the room, Charlie in close pursuit.

Percy alone remained quiet, eating his food and ignoring the madhouse around him. Arthur was trying to restore order, holding one of the crying twins, while the other lifted his arms to him pitifully. At the same time, Arthur was shouting at Bill and Charlie to stop running, to no avail.

Fabian and Gideon were standing on the sidelines, arms crossed over their chests and a wicked smile of approval on their faces, thoroughly enjoying the mayhem.

"Can you help?" Arthur asked, a little testily. "Grab these monsters?"

They shook their heads in identical movements. "They're not monsters, Arthur."

"Just normal boys."

They laughed harder. "And there's another boy-"

"-Coming your way."

Arthur wondered why Molly insisted in having her brothers for dinner so often. He wanted to hex the bastards, wipe those wicked smiles off their faces.

The twins finally stopped crying, and when Arthur put them down inside the playpen again, he noticed to his dismay that they wore the same smile as their uncles.


November 1980

It was a rare peaceful night at the Burrow. They had just finished dinner, and that night Fabian and Gideon had actually helped, playing with the twins when they got fussy. Now the two Prewetts and the five Weasley boys were sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace, playing some kind of game.

Arthur watched the scene quietly, noticing how Fred and George looked at their uncles adoringly. At two and a half, they were little Prewett miniatures, stocky and mischievous. Charlie was equally stocky, taking after Molly's family, although he was a quieter child than the twins. Bill and Percy, however, were tall and lanky, just like Arthur himself.

Sensing that someone was observing him, he lifted his eyes to the cushy chair where Molly was breastfeeding eight month-old Ron. She smiled at him a little coyly, and Arthur felt his groin stir. He knew that look well – it was the precursor to a great night in bed. And the fact that Molly was breastfeeding was also a plus – lactating women didn't ovulate, which means they would indeed have a good night.

Arthur and Molly loved each other deeply and desired one another just as strongly. They also seemed extremely compatible as far as fertility was concerned. Molly had managed not to get pregnant before they married, but conceived Bill during their very hot and carefree honeymoon. As soon as they found out they were to become parents, Arthur and Molly gladly abandoned the dreadful rhythm method and had innumerable nights of hot sex until it became too awkward, just before Bill was born. They resumed it as soon as the Healer told the Weasleys they could engage in sex again, safe in the assurance that a nursing woman wouldn't get pregnant. But she didn't breastfeed Bill long enough and one night, mad with lust, Arthur didn't withdraw in time, and Charlie was conceived.

Molly tried the newly-developed Contraceptive Potion, but it gave her a nasty rash and the Healer told them they should stick to the rhythm method. Which showed its fallibility a few more times – times by the names of Percy, Fred, George, and Ron.

But, on that chilly November night, Molly was still breastfeeding, and Arthur looked at the clock on the wall impatiently. It was a lovely family night, but now he really wanted his brothers-in-law to go home, so he could put the boys to bed and have free time with Molly.

He hoped Ron would keep nursing for many more months to come; early withdrawal was a pain.


December 1980

Shaking their heads in disbelief, Fabian and Gideon followed Molly with their eyes, as she rose quickly from the table, covering her mouth with her hand. Before they could say a word, Arthur spoke briskly, "Not a word, you two!"

But nobody could stop the twins. Snorting, Gideon said, "She'll have fifteen."

And his brother agreed, "At least."

"You have to-"

"-See a Healer."

"I TOLD YOU SHE'S ALLERGIC," Arthur shouted, making baby Ron cry as he woke up from the noise.

"She is," Gideon agreed.

"But you aren't," Fabian finished.

"Are you out of your mind?" Arthur said between clenched teeth, bouncing Ron in his arms to shush him back to sleep. "Have you ever heard of a man taking a Contraceptive Potion?"

The twins shook their heads. "No," Fabian admitted.

"But you can take-"

"-A Sterilization Potion."

Arthur opened his eyes wide and gaped at the brothers. "Me?" he squeaked.

Gideon and Fabian nodded. "It's painless."

"You won't feel a thing."

"NO!" Arthur shouted again, waking Ron once more. Ron wailed.

"Why not?"

"Because nobody knows the side effects of this Potion. It's too…too new."

"There are no side effects."

"We researched it."

"'Little Arthur will still behave-"

"-As expected."

"But he will-"

"-Shoot blanks!"

"I.Won't.Do.It." Arthur enunciated, ignoring Charlie, who was asking him what 'shooting blanks' meant.

"But Arthur-"

"-You'll have fifteen!"

Arthur jutted his chin toward the twins. "I don't care. It's better than…than that." He turned around to shut Charlie up, and therefore missed the wicked look that Fabian and Gideon exchanged.


August 1981

Fabian and Gideon took Arthur out for a drink to celebrate the birth of the first Weasley girl. As a gift, they presented him with a small golden frog.

"Arthur, this is-"

"-An Incan talisman."

"Really? It's nice. What does it do?" Arthur asked, turning the frog in his hand. It had some inscription in a foreign language carved onto its back, and it was a very accurate replica of a frog.

"It's used-"

"-As contraception."


Fabian and Gideon nodded. "As long as you keep it with you-"

"Molly won't get pregnant."

Arthur looked at the talisman suspiciously. "Are you sure about this?"

They nodded again. "We bought it-"

"-From a Peruvian witch."

"It's foolproof, she said."

"The Ancient Incas used it-

"-For population control."

"Well, thank you, you two. I'll…I'll try it, for sure."

Gideon opened his arms to Arthur. "Give us a hug, then."

As Arthur hugged Gideon, Fabian surreptitiously put a double dose of Sterilization Potion into Arthur's drink, and then handed it to his brother-in-law. "To Ginevra. The last Weasley baby!"

Arthur took a big sip of his drink and made a face. "It's bitter," he complained.

"Of course," Gideon said brightly.

"It's…Bitter. The drink. Called Bitter," Fabian said with a huge smile, his eyes shining.

It was a little tart, but not too much, and Arthur downed it happily, holding the little frog in his hand and already dreaming about wild, carefree nights with Molly. His glass was immediately refilled, and this time it was Fabian who pulled Arthur into his arms, while Gideon emptied the second vial into Arthur's drink.

By the fourth pint, Arthur wasn't in a position to notice that his drink wasn't bitter any more.


Molly was a little suspicious of the golden frog at first, but the amulet did its job perfectly for many years, until Molly went through the change and they didn't need it any more. It was kept, though, as a thoughtful gift from Fabian and Gideon.


August 1996

Molly was very worried about Tonks. Right before Harry and Dumbledore arrived, she had been talking about a recent close call she'd had. Like Molly, Tonks was highly allergic to the Contraceptive Potion and relied heavily on the rhythm method. She and Remus had spent a few very tense days when she was late, but luckily it had only been a false alarm.

As a result, Remus told Tonks that he wouldn't risk a pregnancy again. He was afraid that he would have a child with the same condition he had and he couldn't put either Tonks or the baby through that. They had broken up and Tonks was devastated.

They made such a lovely couple, Molly thought. If only she could do something to help…

But of course she could! She would give Tonks the golden frog.

The next time she saw Tonks, she pressed the talisman into her hand. "Tonks, use this. It's an Incan charm that works as a contraceptive."

Tonks frowned. "Really? That's strange. I thought that frogs were actually a fertility symbol."

"Oh, no," Molly said. "My brothers Fabian and Gideon gave it to us right after Ginny was born and it worked like a charm for many years." She giggled. "I couldn't stop getting pregnant before and, after we started using the amulet, I never did again."


June 1997

Tonks and Remus left the infirmary at Hogwarts and went to her flat together. She had finally convinced him that he was just right for her, with a little help from McGonagall and Molly.

As soon as they stepped inside, they kissed passionately, but when she pulled Remus toward her bedroom, he hesitated. "Tonks, we shouldn't…"

With a victorious smile, she showed him the golden frog. "Molly gave this to me. It's a Contraceptive Charm. Don't worry, Remus. It'll be safe tonight."


March 1998

Watching Tonks breastfeeding Teddy, Molly wondered what had gone wrong with the golden frog.
15th February 2008 14:22
Oh, very clever! This was great fun to read. Fifteen... *shudders* Good for Fabian and Gideon!
16th February 2008 02:03
At least fifteen! Luckily the twins were resourceful men.

Thanks - glad you liked it.
15th February 2008 14:48
Oh that's really clever. Love all the Weasley babies! Love the elder twins too! Great way to explain why Teddy came along.
16th February 2008 02:05
The elder twins probably thought all the gold in their vaults wouldn't be enough for the Christmas gifts they'd have to buy for fifteen nephews and nieces *g*

15th February 2008 15:46
There just isn't enough Gideon and Fabian fic around if you ask me. This is too cute!
16th February 2008 02:06
I agree there should be more older twin fics - I imagine them being just like Fred and George.

Glad you enjoyed it.
15th February 2008 16:32
Very clever and cute!! the F & G ...well both sets!!
16th February 2008 02:08
Thank you - Molly and Arthur were the perfect candidates for (the failure of) a rhythm method fic *g*
15th February 2008 22:40
Ohh; how wonderful! There aren't nearly enough Molly/Arthur fics around. Great job!
16th February 2008 02:08
Thanks - those two have bitten me in a very hard way. I fear there will be more...
16th February 2008 09:29
My love for this fic cannot possibly be expressed in mere words. ♥
16th February 2008 12:54
Thank you - and that's the cutest icon.
16th February 2008 15:50
I do love that one! The art is by makani and the icon by nedsagirl, if you want to steal it.
16th February 2008 15:04
lol! love the original terrible twins :D
17th February 2008 00:20
Fred and George must have got that mischievous gene from someone in the family...

Thank you.
17th February 2008 04:06
I love Molly's brothers. I would hate, however, to be one of the Weasley children at the table. "I.Won't.Do.It." Arthur enunciated, ignoring Charlie, who was asking him what 'shooting blanks' meant. *laughs* don't you hate when a little kid asks something like that?
17th February 2008 12:46
I'm always amazed at kids' ability to pick up exactly on the things we don't want them to.

Glad you liked the older twins. They were lost of fun to write.
19th February 2008 11:43
Brilliant! I love this. Arthur/Molly, and Fabian and Gideon! The bit with Tonks and Remus is inspired. *memories*
20th February 2008 00:25
Thank you! *loves*
20th February 2008 14:51
Weyyy! I love Gideon and Fabian, and thaaank you for making them hilarious :)
21st February 2008 00:03
I like to see F&G Weasley as copies of F&G Prewett - mischievous pranksters and yes, very funny. I'm really glad it worked for you, too.
21st February 2008 01:48
in my fanfic, all the women on Molly's side are blessed (or cursed) with having twin boys with an F&G name, and a sister to pester the living daylights out of :)

21st February 2008 11:45
So it's tradition! That's great. I love traditions like that.
20th February 2008 20:38
Evil evil evil twins!

Watching Tonks breastfeeding Teddy, Molly wondered what had gone wrong with the golden frog.

Poor Molly! And it explains why Remus was so freaked out!

but yes - after having so many kids close together, I too always thought it weird that there wasn't more later... This explain it beautifully.
21st February 2008 00:05
If it weren't for Fabian and Gideon, there would be fifteen Weasley kids *g*

Glad you liked it. I was freaking out with the prompts, and I'm so glad the evil twins nudged me to write them.
22nd February 2008 05:29
Hee! That's fabulous! Poor Molly... poor Tonks, too!
22nd February 2008 12:03
Thank you - Molly, at least, had effective birth control after she got the frog...
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