This is excellent, and so clever! I love stories that make such effective use of the possibilities of magic in sex and in relationships in general -- and in warfare, too, of course. Such potent weapons.
Each scene is so well-realized and vivid. It's a little scary to be so clearly seeing the world through Bella's eyes. The way the mental landscapes are physicalized is very effective, as is the overall plot. Of course Albus would be too strong for Bella in the long run. I also like the way you make such plausible use of her capacity for self-delusion -- so similar to many of us.
Each scene is so well-realized and vivid. It's a little scary to be so clearly seeing the world through Bella's eyes. The way the mental landscapes are physicalized is very effective, as is the overall plot. Of course Albus would be too strong for Bella in the long run. I also like the way you make such plausible use of her capacity for self-delusion -- so similar to many of us.
Just a great job overall.