Oh man, this is FABULOUS!!! I love everything about it -- your word choices, your POV choices, and basically just how unconventional the whole thing is! I can't even put my finger on it, but the way you write everything, from dialogue to general narrative to the sexy bits, is just so fresh and unique. Amazing job! I love that this is their monthly tradition. I love that they're stuck in the past. I love that Hermione has sex like she's trying to be the best at it. I love Harry's shop. I love how comfortable they all are together. I love that they need a place to go, and the shop does the trick this time. :) I kind of hated Ron's horse metaphor, but then I LOVE that he hated it, too. :D :D :D And it was so very Ron.
And I while I think Harry's POV was my favourite, Ron's had some of the most stunningly beautiful lines of the entire fic, like: if he could see inside her head right now, he knows it would look like a textbook page that starts with orderly lines of text, devolving halfway down into black whorls of useless scribbling. He sniffs the air, wondering if he can smell the ink of her melting thoughts, but all he gets is a drop of sweat landing on his neck.
And I while I think Harry's POV was my favourite, Ron's had some of the most stunningly beautiful lines of the entire fic, like: if he could see inside her head right now, he knows it would look like a textbook page that starts with orderly lines of text, devolving halfway down into black whorls of useless scribbling. He sniffs the air, wondering if he can smell the ink of her melting thoughts, but all he gets is a drop of sweat landing on his neck.
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