I'm back, with many comments, and abuse of italics! I hope you can forgive my ramble; I just loved the story, and so I have bunches to say about the way you crafted the characters and how you developed their relationship.
At the start, I can completely see how Harry got in over his head and offered the bribe. But what I loved even more than Harry's rash offer and sudden regret in that moment was how completely attuned he was to Snape's reactions and expressions! It's a perfect lead-in for the interactions (and relationship) to come, how Snape's hint of interest encouraged Harry to bumble along into offering the bribe, but how his complete shift of expression to triumphant, anticipatory cruelness made Harry recognize his misstep immediately -- fantastic, not just the subtlety of the first and then the turnaround of the second expression, but how utterly Harry changes in reaction to how Snape responds.
I think you left it nicely ambiguous as to whether Harry is the one who introduces the sexual element, or Snape is the one who introduces it. I mean, all along Harry tells himself he's the one to bring that tenor into their detentions. But hey, were that the case, Snape might not want to have the shortcut-taking Gryffindor clean up the Lust Potion sludge, you know? That was very fun for my reading, because it felt like some dark humor (and it seems telling that Harry fondly remembers laughing during that detention as he's at home later), but also some lovely dark manipulation, that Harry could actually, in his very honest and guileless way, feel like he was the only one who could possibly have cast an erotic shade to their meetings! Snape's pronouncement of Harry as shameless there was just perfect, because again, Lust Potion, it's shamelessness engineered!
Then the paddling, dear god! Again, Snape fitting the response to the one to be punished, but also shaping Harry in a way, seeing how far he will follow in the direction Snape urges him. And again we have that great flavor in your fic, that through the pain and the shock for Harry, being physically reprimanded, he's not only aroused but enlivened -- finding the impossibility of the scenario embarrassing but also invigorating, and smiling, smiling at Snape before he leaves with the tears still on his face, and feeling humor at Snape's apparent confusion! So great! And I love how at that stage we really get the reading that Harry himself understands that these interactions are changing him, are bringing him to life in a way he hasn't experienced in his adult life of marriage and parenting.
The club scene was so intensely fantastic! Harry in his revealing outfit and fetish-y shoes, the men in the hallway who are drawn to the fabulous dom-master that is Snape here, Harry's confusion and distraction and intense arousal at watching some of the stagings and playings going on around him! That Harry's safe words of choice were both Quidditch related made me laugh; Quidditch got him into this, of course, with trying to help James back onto the team. And part of Harry thinks he can cling to that mode of approaching games and life still, that he can abide by the four sessions Snape has set out, by rules and by-laws of games he understands, and not go outside the purview of that. And he just has no idea yet that he's signed on for something far more undefined, that he's left himself open to something much more challenging.
I really liked how throughout this, even as you reveal how Harry finds submission exciting, it also does really go against a large part of how he sees himself and his approach to people, to the world. The wave of revulsion he feels at the first sight of the collar, or the way he fights Snape for a moment at the start of the kiss later on -- though this all may be what he needs, it isn't initially what he wants, and the transition to accepting need over want is wonderfully threaded through as the story progresses.
At the start, I can completely see how Harry got in over his head and offered the bribe. But what I loved even more than Harry's rash offer and sudden regret in that moment was how completely attuned he was to Snape's reactions and expressions! It's a perfect lead-in for the interactions (and relationship) to come, how Snape's hint of interest encouraged Harry to bumble along into offering the bribe, but how his complete shift of expression to triumphant, anticipatory cruelness made Harry recognize his misstep immediately -- fantastic, not just the subtlety of the first and then the turnaround of the second expression, but how utterly Harry changes in reaction to how Snape responds.
I think you left it nicely ambiguous as to whether Harry is the one who introduces the sexual element, or Snape is the one who introduces it. I mean, all along Harry tells himself he's the one to bring that tenor into their detentions. But hey, were that the case, Snape might not want to have the shortcut-taking Gryffindor clean up the Lust Potion sludge, you know? That was very fun for my reading, because it felt like some dark humor (and it seems telling that Harry fondly remembers laughing during that detention as he's at home later), but also some lovely dark manipulation, that Harry could actually, in his very honest and guileless way, feel like he was the only one who could possibly have cast an erotic shade to their meetings! Snape's pronouncement of Harry as shameless there was just perfect, because again, Lust Potion, it's shamelessness engineered!
Then the paddling, dear god! Again, Snape fitting the response to the one to be punished, but also shaping Harry in a way, seeing how far he will follow in the direction Snape urges him. And again we have that great flavor in your fic, that through the pain and the shock for Harry, being physically reprimanded, he's not only aroused but enlivened -- finding the impossibility of the scenario embarrassing but also invigorating, and smiling, smiling at Snape before he leaves with the tears still on his face, and feeling humor at Snape's apparent confusion! So great! And I love how at that stage we really get the reading that Harry himself understands that these interactions are changing him, are bringing him to life in a way he hasn't experienced in his adult life of marriage and parenting.
The club scene was so intensely fantastic! Harry in his revealing outfit and fetish-y shoes, the men in the hallway who are drawn to the fabulous dom-master that is Snape here, Harry's confusion and distraction and intense arousal at watching some of the stagings and playings going on around him! That Harry's safe words of choice were both Quidditch related made me laugh; Quidditch got him into this, of course, with trying to help James back onto the team. And part of Harry thinks he can cling to that mode of approaching games and life still, that he can abide by the four sessions Snape has set out, by rules and by-laws of games he understands, and not go outside the purview of that. And he just has no idea yet that he's signed on for something far more undefined, that he's left himself open to something much more challenging.
I really liked how throughout this, even as you reveal how Harry finds submission exciting, it also does really go against a large part of how he sees himself and his approach to people, to the world. The wave of revulsion he feels at the first sight of the collar, or the way he fights Snape for a moment at the start of the kiss later on -- though this all may be what he needs, it isn't initially what he wants, and the transition to accepting need over want is wonderfully threaded through as the story progresses.