Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Fic: Pseudo Sex, (Harry/Draco, NC-17) 
5th May 2017 21:13
Title: Pseudo Sex
Author: [info]alisanne
Characters: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Semi-public sex.
Themes/kinks chosen: claustrophilia: arousal by confined spaces and intercrural sex: a type of non-penetrative sex in which the man's penis is thrust between his partner's thighs to create friction and achieve orgasm.
Word Count: ~2255
Summary: When does pretense become reality?
Author's notes: Thanks, as always, to my beta readers, [info]sevfan and [info]emynn.
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.


Pseudo Sex


“At this point,” observed Draco, “what else could possibly go wrong?”

Harry, checking the wall for seams or a hidden door, spun to face him. “Why in Godric’s name would you say that?”

Draco raised an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you’re superstitious.”

Harry shook his head. “There’s being superstitious, and then there’s being foolhardy,” he said, turning back towards the wall that had been a door only minutes previously. “No reason to tempt fate.”

“Oh, I think fate’s way past being tempted and right now is chewing on our arses,” Draco huffed. “Who else would get trapped in a tiny records room while on an investigation? Although, at least we got the information, and we have light and air, so it could be worse.”

Rolling his eyes, Harry ignored him. Running his fingers over the stone, he continued feeling his way, searching for the slightest crack.

“If you do locate the door, how are you planning to open it?” Draco asked after a few moments of blissful silence.

“You know,” Harry snapped, “if you’d stop whinging and get over here and help me find the exit, maybe we could actually get out of here before they return. I’m not looking forward to explaining to people we suspect are foreign spies how two Aurors just happened to get trapped in their super secret records room.”

“That would be for the best, yes.” Draco hummed. “After all, this is the bunch that executes spies.”

“Not helping,” muttered Harry.

“You know,” Draco drawled seconds later, “maybe we should have thought through this plan a bit more before embarking on this…adventure. I distinctly recall saying it was a bad idea—”

“Yes, yes,” Harry groaned. “You’ve been saying that for days. I’m aware of your feelings about this assignment. It’s still our assignment, however. Kingsley didn’t ask our opinion.”

“Well maybe he should have,” Draco huffed. “We’re the ones risking our lives. Did you join the Aurors to become a spy? I know I didn’t. And why are you still caressing the wall? It hasn’t worked yet.”

Harry closed his eyes and counted to ten. In Croatian. “Are you going to help me try to escape this trap or not?” he asked flatly.

“Salazar. Fine.” Draco edged towards Harry. “What spells have you tried?”

“The standards. Revelio, Alohomora, Bombarda.”

“Right.” Drawing his wand, Draco swirled it in a tight circular shape. When nothing happened, he frowned. He tried several varieties of spells, but every one fizzled out. “Dampening spell?”

Harry nodded. “Possible.”

“Have you tried to send a Patronus message?”

“Yes. My Patronus won’t even manifest in here.”

Draco hummed. “Wonderful. Well, as loath as I am to say it, I think we really are trapped until someone returns.”

“Fuck.” Harry leaned his head against the wall. “This is going to ruin this operation. Kingsley didn’t want them knowing we wanted access to their files. It was tough enough to get them to agree to let us into their embassy as envoys.”

“Maybe what we should be doing is thinking up viable excuses for why we’re in here.” Draco smirked. “After all, we did have to search for three days to find it.”

“If we get out,” Harry said through gritted teeth, “we won’t need an excuse.”

“Except that doesn’t appear to be happening, does it? I know. We could always say we were looking for someplace private to shag.”

Raising his head, Harry glared at Draco. “They’ll never believe that.”

Draco shrugged. “They will if they walk in and find us actually shagging.”

“Wh—I’m not doing that here!” Harry sputtered. “Plus, we’re not shagging.”

“Not yet, anyway.”

“Draco!” Harry yelped. “Be serious!”

“All right, fine.” Draco turned away. “What’s your plan, then?”

“Break out!”

“And since that doesn’t appear to be working, what’s your backup plan?”

Harry groaned, resting his head against the wall once again. While he’d been dreaming about getting naked with Draco for months, it hadn’t been under these circumstances. “There must be a way,” he muttered.

“There is.” And something about Draco’s tone made Harry turn to find him shucking his robes.

“What…what are you doing?” Harry wheezed.

Draco raised an eyebrow as his fingers went to the buttons of his shirt. “What does it look like? When they arrive, one of us needs to be naked to give the story some verisimilitude.”

“Some what?”

“It means—”

“I know what it means,” Harry growled. “But it’s a lie. We’re not shagging!”

Draco shrugged off his shirt, revealing a smooth, muscled chest. “We could be.” Folding his shirt neatly, he placed it on top of his robes.

Unable to help himself, Harry eyed Draco’s arse as he bent over, his mouth going dry. “I suppose we could always pretend to have sex,” he found himself saying.

Straightening up, Draco grinned. “Now you’re getting into the spirit.”

Harry sighed. This couldn’t end well. “So, to be clear, we’re not…actually going to shag, right? Because we’re partners, and that could just mess everything up.”

Draco huffed. “No, like you said, we’re just going to pretend. Now take off your clothes and get over here.”

Willing his dick not to embarrass him, Harry turned his back and, with shaking fingers, stripped. When he was down to his pants, however, he hesitated.

“Get on with it, Harry. We have to make it look good, and they could be here any minute. I’m willing to bet when that door sealed over, it also alerted someone.”

Exhaling, Harry pushed down his pants, stepped out of them, and edged his way over to Draco. “This room is so bloody small,” he muttered, eyes on the floor. “No one’s going to believe we chose to shag in this tiny space instead of one of the conference rooms.”

“Believe it or not, some people enjoy fucking in small spaces,” Draco said, sounding slightly hoarse. “It makes them feel bigger.” He hummed. “And speaking of big—I can’t believe you’ve been hiding all that under your uniform.”

Feeling his face flush, Harry ducked his head. “Er…thanks?”

Draco chuckled. “No need to be shy. You’re hung. You should flaunt it.”

Harry shook his head. “Where should I stand?”

“Here.” Draco grasped Harry’s shoulders, manoeuvring him into place with his back against a wall. “Good. Stay there.”

Taking the opportunity to check Draco out, Harry looked down, getting an eyeful. His breath hitched. Draco was fucking gorgeous, all pale skin over smooth, sleek muscle. And his cock, while not as thick as Harry’s was nicely proportioned. Harry itched to touch it, or, even better, drop to his knees and lick it.

“Like what you see?”

Wincing, Harry moved his eyes up to Draco’s amused ones. “Sorry—”

“You shouldn’t be. I’m not.” Draco smiled. “Move your legs a bit wider.”

Harry frowned. “I thought we weren’t going to—”

Draco’s sigh gusted past Harry’s ear. “We’re not, but we can’t be several feet apart if we’re shagging can we?”

“Right,” Harry muttered, widening his stance. “I suppose not.”

Just then, one of the torches on the wall sputtered out, leaving them in semi-darkness.

Harry groaned. “You were asking what else could go wrong?”

Draco huffed. “Ugh, fine, I shouldn’t have said that. And we probably only have a minute before the other—”

As if reacting to his words, the other torch went out, leaving them in utter darkness.

“Bloody brilliant,” muttered Harry. “Lum—”

“Don’t,” Draco whispered. “It’ll be even more believable if they find us in the dark, don’t you think?”

“Um—” Harry winced as Draco’s hand landed on his hip.

“Merlin but you’re jumpy.” Draco sounded a bit breathless. “Don’t you trust me?”

Harry, distracted by Draco’s touch, cleared his throat. “You’re my Auror partner.”

“That’s not an answer.” Draco’s thumb rubbing along Harry’s skin felt mesmerising.

“Yes,” Harry finally whispered. “Of course I trust you.”

“Good.” And pushing forward, Draco slid his cock against Harry’s before thrusting it into the channel formed by his thighs. “See?” he panted as he moved. “We’re not really having sex. It’s…pseudo sex.”

Harry swallowed hard, groping until his hands landed on Draco’s arse. “It feels like sex,” he muttered as his cock started to fill and harden.

“Yes, well,” Draco gasped. “We’re clearly good actors.”

“Uh huh.” Harry was rapidly losing track of the conversation. The combination of Draco’s cock thrusting against him, as well as his own sliding over Draco’s stomach, leaving sticky pre-come in its wake, was intoxicating. He bent his head, his lips lightly brushing over Draco’s shoulder. “Is there…kissing in pseudo sex?” he asked.

“Whatever makes it…seem real…to the audience,” Draco murmured.

“Brilliant,” Harry said, and surging forward, his lips found Draco’s. His aim was a bit off, hitting the corner of Draco’s mouth, but Draco when corrected the angle, their mouths met in a steamy kiss.

Harry deepened the kiss, moaning as his tongue slid against Draco’s. The sensation of rutting against Draco while they kissed was rapidly making him lose his mind.

Draco’s hips started thrusting faster, and pleasure started to build inside Harry’s core. When Draco’s hand shifted, coming around to grab his arsecheek, Harry dragged his mouth away from Draco’s, panting for air.

Draco whispered something, and a moment later had a slick finger pressing just inside Harry’s hole.

“Fuck,” Harry moaned, his head swimming.

Leaning in, Draco snagged his ear with his teeth. “Have to…make it…look good…” he breathed.

Harry could only imagine what they looked like, rutting and thrusting together, Draco’s cock sliding between his thighs. It wouldn’t take much to get him inside him…Within moments of contemplating that mental image, Harry felt his balls drawing up. Dragging his mouth from Draco’s, he gasped, “Coming—!”

“Yes,” Draco hissed. “Come…all over me with that big cock.”

Harry groaned, his body shuddering as his cock spilled come onto Draco’s stomach.

Within a few seconds, he felt warm fluid spurting against his thigh, and Draco’s hips trembling as he, too, came. Still gripping Draco’s hips, Harry ground himself against him as pleasure sizzled through him. “If that’s fake sex,” he gasped, “I’m not sure I could survive the real thing.”

“I’m…willing to give it a go…if you are,” Draco replied, face pressed into the curve of Harry’s neck, his body still shaking.

Harry smiled. “Fuck yes,” he said, and he was so gone, that when a light appeared, he didn’t immediately react.

“Found them, Ambassador! Minister!” someone said. There was a pause. “O gospodi!”

Harry blinked, fighting to focus.

Draco was a bit quicker on his feet. Summoning his robes, he held them up in front of him. “Oh, um, it’s not what it looks like—”

“Funny,” drawled Kingsley “it looks as though two of my diplomatic envoys have been caught in a compromising position in a foreign embassy.”

The ambassador, standing beside him, huffed and turned away. “At first I thought this was a ploy to get into our records room, but now I see it was simply hormones. Pah!”

Draco’s eyes went wide. Harry was sure his expression was similar. “Er…”

“Get dressed, gentlemen.” Kingsley turned away. “Then we’ll talk.”

Six minutes later, having endured a severe tongue-lashing, Harry and Draco followed Kingsley out of the Russian wizarding embassy, heads bowed. Once they were outside the building, Kingsley murmured, “Tell me you got the intelligence at least.”

“Of course, Minister.” Draco smiled. “Why do you think we were in that room in the first place?”

Kingsley’s footsteps faltered for a moment. “You’re saying that was all an act?” He hummed. “It was most convincing. I’ll have to put you in for an acting award as well as a commendation.”

“So…no suspension, then?” Harry asked.

Kingsley inclined his head. “No, I only said that to placate the ambassador. Although next time, perhaps plan things a bit more…thoughtfully? Because of how we found you I’ll have to replace you as envoys since the Russians do not approve of homosexuals. Ah, well. Good evening, gentlemen.”

Once Kingsley was out of earshot, Harry turned to Draco and crossed his arms over his chest. “Did you plan that?”

Draco raised an eyebrow. “Plan what?”

“Us getting caught pseudo shagging so they’d take us off this assignment!”

“How could you think that?”

Harry stared at him. “Maybe because you were the one who found the records room and the one who examined all its wards before were broke in. Shouldn’t that have shown the trap with the door turning into a wall?”

“You know, it should have, you’re right. Huh. I must have missed that detail.” Draco waved a hand dismissively.

“Missed—” Harry bit his tongue. Hard. “You could have got us killed! And all so we could fuck? Oh, sorry…pseudo fuck?”

Draco smirked. “But we didn’t get killed. We got the intel, and yes, we got tossed off the Russian assignment, but that really is no hardship. Their food’s terrible. Who actually likes borsch?”

Harry gaped at him. “You are incredible.”

“Thank you, I know.” Tucking his hand in Harry’s arm, Draco said, “And speaking of, would you like to try real fucking sometime?” He hummed. “We really should see how it compares.”

Shaking his head, Harry sighed. “I suppose. Although if you ever do that to me on assignment again, I am going to beat you.”

“Why, Harry. How kinky,” Draco drawled. “I’ve a feeling this partnership of ours is about to get a lot more fun.”

6th May 2017 02:58
Heh heh heh....... ooooh, how naughtily delightful!
LOL.... good one.
6th May 2017 19:18
Draco delights in being naughty. ;)
Thank you, hon! <3
6th May 2017 04:58
Oooo, this was great! Loved Draco's logic here, and hung!Harry is always wonderful. :D
6th May 2017 19:19
Yes, this was definitely Draco!logic for sure. ;)
Thanks, dear! Glad you enjoyed.
6th May 2017 14:16
OH MY GOD, Draco!

I first loved his whole attitude towards the whole thing.

“Oh, I think fate’s way past being tempted and right now is chewing on our arses,” Draco huffed.

“Wh—I’m not doing that here!” Harry sputtered. “Plus, we’re not shagging.”

“Not yet, anyway.”

Like, wow, okay, so Draco's not too concerned? Sweet.

And then I realised why, that sneaky Slytherin has the best ideas! :D Harry can hardly complain. ;) Well, he can, but he shouldn't! LOL


“And speaking of big—I can’t believe you’ve been hiding all that under your uniform.”

AHHH! \o/\o/\o/ Yeah, hung!Harry for the win!!!!!

Most excellent. I loved this. <333
6th May 2017 19:22
Heh. Draco is a piece of work, isn't he?
Yep, he's not concerned because he has a ~plan. ;)
LOL! Every time I write anyone with a big cock I think of you (and I can't be the only one in fandom). *g* So yes, that was totally for you! <3

Thanks, hon! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it. :))
6th May 2017 16:06
Brilliant Draco is brilliant! Do as he says, Harry, he makes so much sense!
6th May 2017 19:23
Hahah! Well Draco certainly makes sense in his own mind, anyway. ;)
Thanks so much! <3
11th May 2017 15:45
Hee, just brilliant. Draco is so wonderfully, gorgeously sneaky, and Harry loves it really. I have such a grin on my face now :)
13th May 2017 01:44
Thank you, lovely. <3
Yes, that's Draco. He's always got a plan. ;)
Yay that I could give you a smile!
18th May 2017 01:42
Draco is fucking brilliant. What a fun read!
22nd May 2017 06:03
Thanks, dear! <3
Yay that you enjoyed it. :)
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