Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Fic: "How to Resist Shagging Teddy Lupin" (Harry/Teddy; NC-17) 
17th January 2014 10:43
Title: How to Resist Shagging Teddy Lupin
Author: [info]train_tracks
Characters/Pairings: Harry/Teddy (they wish)
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Unresolved Sexual Tension
Other Warnings: cross-gen, shades of incestuous feelings, various sexual fantasies (oral, anal, size kink, Topping and bottoming)
Word Count: 2,370
Summary/Description: Harry gives a tutorial on how to resist shagging Teddy Lupin, even when you want him so bad it hurts.
Author's Notes: I wrote this in second person, inspired by the short stories of Lorrie Moore. Beta thanks goes to the wonderful [info]birdsofshore!

p.s. Mods, I didn't see the theme tag for 'unresolved sexual tension'; would you mind adding it for me? Thank you!

Avoid him for a decade. It's not really avoidance. It's your job. You travel. It's exciting. You feel guilty that he hardly knows you or you him. But he's got his Gran, and he's got his friends. He's a Ravenclaw, and he has his books.

Make excuses. Get a little pissed late at night. Sleep and have dreams in which you are running and he needs saved, and you can't.


When you see him again, be shocked but don't show it. Smile at him and squeeze his arm. Do not marvel at the bicep beneath your thumb. There is no need to feel like a dirty old man. You are not so old, after all.

You are, however, short. And he is rather tall. He is rather tall and fit and dashing. Do not say this or think it overly long.

Tell him 'You're looking good'. Add 'kid' if you can do it without grimacing. Scratch your chin and wonder why you didn't see fit to shave. See the twinkle in his eye and wonder if he's on potions or might be coming down with something.

When he tells you, 'It's so good to see you, Harry,' and licks his lips, DO NOT LOOK AT HIS LIPS.

Shove your hands into your pockets and tell him the guest room is all made up. Do not regret having him to your flat for the entire summer. Tell yourself that it will be fun.

Go straight to your office and lock the door until it's time to order the take-away.

Bundle your insecurities like socks in warm little balls. Shove them into a drawer and forget about them.

You are the Most Powerful Wizard in the World. Do not roll your eyes in your mind when you think this about yourself. Do not feel like a tool.

When Teddy Lupin wanders around your flat in his pajama bottoms only, act like this is normal behavior. It doesn't bother you. You aren't enchanted by the show of his ribs through his tanned skin. Do not ruminate on why Ravenclaws should not be tan. Ask him if he wants a game of Quidditch. When he sprawls on your sofa and stretches his tall, young body until his hairy toes curl, do not drool down your front.


Oh, forget it.

Look at the carpet.

Do not look at his toes.

When he says, 'Sure, Harry. Later?' nod. Meet his eyes. This is your godson. You've been his great protector, out fighting Dark Magic in countrysides and in covert urban stings. You do it for him.

You do it so he can sprawl on your sofa with his plum-doused hair and tiny nipples and hard, openable thighs and look at you like he's hungry for something.

'Want some toast?' you say elegantly.

'Only if the butter's so thick it drips off the sides,' he informs you, an arm over his head, plummy armpit exposed, making you feel like perhaps you have were-tendencies, because you want to snarf up his scent while you pry open his openable thighs.

You want to bury your face in him and forget who you are.

You are the most powerful fucking wizard in the world.


When you sit together in the living room late at night reading, clear your throat every so often so that you can see him look up at you, up over his book, his glasses sliding down his nose as yours do, too. Laugh about this together. Say nothing.

Ignore the heat in your belly. Go back to the words. It doesn't matter that they're now gibberish. Read the gibberish until your heart rate slows.

If it doesn't, just keep reading.

If he licks his finger to separate the pages of his book, don't picture him licking up the underside of your cock and winking up at you. If he tilts his head just so, resist the urge to stalk over and bite down on his neck, to push him into the sofa cushions and have your way with him. If he shifts and dangles one long leg over the arm of the sofa, don't watch his foot swing.

Don't contemplate that utter beast between his legs. (Because you've caught him coming out of the shower, and you know.) Don't want him to thrust it between your lips and come in your mouth.

He is the closest thing you have to a son.


If he scratches his stomach under his t-shirt and frowns at the text, do not see the face that he'll pull when you first enter him, when you breach him, when you ride his arse hard and fast like you don't care if it hurts.

When you do it slow and deep, rocking his body back and forth.

Get yourself under control, for fuck's sake.

Go to the kitchen and get a nice brandy.

When he follows you in, don't turn.

'Can I have one, too?' he may ask.

Assent. He's of age. Pour and try not to slosh. When he comes right up behind you and reaches around for his glass, don't breathe. Stop breathing. Just stop.

If you feel his half-hard cock against your leg, shrug it off as inevitable for a young man his age. Ignore your own cock. Even though it's leaking. Even though you throb for him.

Turn casually and smile. When he doesn't move away, you may start to sweat but don't gulp.


Ask, 'What are you reading?'

'You've got…' he'll start and gesture to something you can't see. Whatever it is, it's on your face, for fuck's sake. Do not flinch when his finger reaches out and gently, deftly flicks something from the moist corner of your mouth.

When you taste the sweat of his skin, don't growl. When he licks the crumb off his finger, don't shove his beautiful body against the counter.

Just stand there wanting. Hate yourself a little bit.

Tell him you're going to turn in.


Touch yourself under the covers quietly. Think of Veelas. Think of a gang of randy witches. Think of that bloke who plays Beater for the Cannons.

Think of anything but Teddy Lupin going at you, eyes dazed, grunting.

For as long as you bloody can.

When you have your friends over for your birthday, tell Teddy he can invite his friends, too.

Corner Hermione as soon as possible and ask her what she thinks of Teddy.

When she raises her eyebrows at you, interpret this as 'You're a sick freak, Harry.' Tell her, 'It's just for the summer.' When her eyebrows go up even further, blush but don't deflect.

If Teddy's friends are arseholes, ignore it. They mostly just stand around outside smoking anyway. If Blaise Zabini's son touches Teddy a lot and Teddy seems to invite it, don't become positively mad with jealousy. Don't find yourself scowling against a wall and gripping your wand like you want to kill something, or Ron will likely give you That Look again.

Retreat to your office for Important Stuff. As everyone laughs and has a good time, run your hands through your hair and curse beneath your breath.


Don't turn.

Don't you bloody turn!

Say, 'Am I missing the cake?'

When you hear the door click closed, don't panic. Your mouth goes dry, but still don't turn. Close your eyes.

He'll come near. Don't turn your head. You already know he looks edible in his jeans and black t-shirt, his hair gone green for the occasion. Don't think about how that body was made for sex and all the things you could do to it and him to you.

'Can I do anything?' he asks.

Laugh mirthlessly at this. Because he can blow you, he can lay over your desk, panting and ready while you stroke yourself off, he can probably fuck like a race horse.

Snap your head around and look at him. Look at him hard. Let him see.

You're going to strip his jeans down, bend him over, and wail on his arse with your belt for making you fucking feel this.

You're going to strip off all your clothes and stand there before him with your arms out, shivering.

'Am I your hero now? Am I your bloody savior?' you'll shout. "I'll just bet you fuck like the world's ending. Fuck me like the world's ending, Teddy.'

He's looking at you with hope, with trust, with abandon.

Tell him no. 'No, you can't.' But don't move away when he brushes up against you. Don't acknowledge that this is inappropriate. That it always has been.

You hear his shuddering breath, his nervousness. Don't react except to close your eyes again. When he places his hand over yours on the desk and squeezes warmly, don't unball your fist. When he whispers in your ear, 'Let me, Harry,' think about dropping all pretense.

Your eyes flash open.

Look at him.

Let your gaze slide to his lips. You could push him to his knees right now, and he'd willingly go. You know this.

You both know this.

Who doesn't want to suck Harry Potter's cock? Think this derisively and hopefully at the same time.

When he licks his lips, say his name softly in warning.

When he tilts his head, bringing his nervous lips close, don't move. Don't breathe. Don't be.

Feel his breath whispering your name.

He tells you he's hard. He tells you it's you. He demolishes the boundary. Exist in that contaminated moment, delirious. You're ready to snog him senseless. You're ready to damn your own soul. Grab his wrist tight. Grit your teeth. Curse his name and hear him gasp.

Lean in.

It's already happening. You're going to fuck. You're going to do it like animals. You're going to be so dirty together. Tear at one another like beasts. You're going to fuck fuck fuck, like men and like boys.

'I can make it good for you, Harry,' he almost moans.

He's going to fuck you longer and harder than you can even stand.

Over your desk, whipping his hips.

You'll ride him on the floor, his hands pulling you down for it.

He'll make you so sore.

And they'll all hear it. They'll all know you're a sick bloody fuck. You don't care. You're aching hard, and you don't care. Breathe hot against his lips. Feel him shudder. Lean in.

Lean in…

When the door opens, clear your throat. Don't jump back. Teddy will have done enough of that for both of you. If he looks guilty as hell, forgive him. Turn to the door, see that it's Ron, and yes, it's about your cake. When he frowns, just give him a curt nod. Stack some papers. Tell Teddy you'll talk later.

You're dying inside.

Walk out.

Suffer through the rest of your party. Feel undeserving. Smile while they toast you.

You dirty old man.

Don't talk about it later.

Never talk about it.

Try for distance. Feel creepy. Leave the house a lot. Wander around London. Go to porn theatres and whack off. Sift through books at Flourish and Blotts. Buy him one like a good godfather. Have them wrap it in safe, blue paper.

When you see him again at dinner, keep changing the subject.

Don't wonder what it would be like to taste his young cock sliding hot back into your throat.

Don't dream about doing him face to face so he can see you strive over him.

Certainly don't picture what he'd be like on top of you. In you.

Don't picture loving him.

Be a jerk instead. Be half-cruel. Push him away for his own good.

Ignore the hurt looks, the jutting chin, the one-too-many pints.

Tell yourself it's for the best.

Watch him go out with his friends and don't sigh. Don't feel sorry for yourself.

Take a work assignment that means being gone for five weeks.

Get some fresh air.

Get perspective.

Be a coward but call it being an adult.

Miss him.

Miss him terribly.

When you return, feel like shit about how things are between you.

But when he asks for that Quidditch match, smile and agree. Enjoy the brisk air on your skin as you fly.

When he beats the pants off you, don't show him how shocked you are. How turned on you are. Reassure yourself that, had you really tried, you would have practically killed him.

Do not wonder if this makes him a good match for you, if he could best you in bed. If he'd tie you down and engorgio his cock inside of you and make you scream yourself hoarse.

If you let him take control, what would he do? If you give him what he wants, what will it cost?

Forget all that bollocks.

He doesn't want you, you creepy git. He wants Harry Potter. The scar, the warrior. He doesn't want the old queen who'll take it on all fours like a pig.

Don't let go.

Make dinner and enjoy his company.

In the weeks you've been gone, he's learned how to joke again, to smile.

He has a job interview in a few days. Would you look over his resume? Of course you would. Pat him on the back.

See his mask slip. Feel your own falter.

Leave your hand on him, let it slip to his hip. Blink your eyes. Want so badly you could weep.

You've never fucked on the kitchen floor.


See him see it all in your eyes. See him smile a little. See in him a great chess player who has unveiled your next five moves.

'I'm glad you're home, Harry,' he says. That wicked little smile playing at his mouth while he casts his gaze down your body appreciatively.

Snatch your lecher hand away.

And go ahead and gulp now, because even though he's walking away, he's giving you your space, it is all just a matter of time.

It's not a matter of if.

It is only a matter of time.

Teddy Lupin wants your arse.


For one more day, withstand.

But start to dream about how it will feel.

Once you don't.

17th January 2014 19:35
I love this so much. If Lorrie Moore wrote a filthy cross-gen story about gay wizards, THIS would be it :DD I really adore Harry's battle to resist this attraction, and the pathos mixed in with all the hotness. You write his frailties with such affection for humanity. I know I told you plenty about how hot and funny it was, but I'm finding it really touching now I've read it a few times: the complexity and realness of Harry's emotions, thoughts and physical reactions is wonderfully done. And I really enjoy seeing Teddy through his eyes.

What a scene that will be when Harry stops withstanding. It's almost inevitable to wonder about a sequel, but having said that, I do love the place that you ended this.

17th January 2014 20:53
You write his frailties with such affection for humanity.

Could you SAY anything better? <3 Jesus, Birds. Thank you!!!!!
17th January 2014 21:06
By the way, I just realized that my author's notes...rhyme. LOL.
17th January 2014 19:59
Oh, fucking hell. I almost can't stand how hot this is.

I had to sit back for a bit and actually get some coherence!

I loved Harry's quiet desperation, how hard he's trying to restrain himself. Damnit, you have Harry's voice here spot on; the guilt, feeling dirty and the raw desire.

For as long as you bloody can.


And Teddy, little tease, wasn't making things any easier. He couldn't help it, could he?

God, I loved it. I'm a dirty pervert because I closed my eyes and pictured that whole thing of the two of them "reading" and yeah, yeah, it was hot.

This was insanely hot and just so, so perfect.
17th January 2014 20:54
I'm a dirty pervert because I closed my eyes and pictured that whole thing of the two of them "reading" and yeah, yeah, it was hot.

Wow, thank you!!! That's such a great reaction to get! :-DDD

17th January 2014 20:41
This is amazing
17th January 2014 20:55
Thank you so much, DIG! :-D
17th January 2014 20:59
Aaaah, this is amaaaaaaazing! a;lskjdflsafkj I'd almost forgotten how much I adore good second-person fic. It's such a unique but super compelling choice for a fic like this, because it just ratchets the whole POV and storyline up a notch, making the UST feel that much more real to the reader. NICE ONE, THAT THERE. The whole style of this takes a common Harry/Teddy USTy trope and makes it fresh and new and exciting. And not knowing at first if Teddy reciprocated or not made it even hotter for me, because when Teddy does finally make that tiny move, I sort of maybe screamed a little. :D

17th January 2014 21:07
Wow, Lee, THANK YOU!!! So happy you liked this one! (I maybe screamed a little at your screaming.)
17th January 2014 21:34
Oh I love this. Love it so much. The style you'v written this in is amazing!
Merlin's tits woman.
18th January 2014 01:50
:-D Thank you so much!!!
17th January 2014 23:51
You complete fucking genius, you.

Just. OMG. The tension in this is 100%. My heart was racing.
I was so deep in Harry's consciousness, that was amazing, bb.

And the UST. Umph.

I love the idea of inevitability you end with. Just amazing. whoa. Thank you.
18th January 2014 01:50
Oh, Nox! <3

Thank you SO MUCH! This means a lot to me!
18th January 2014 01:35
Wow! Second POV was very effective here. It definitely gave the story a lot of immediacy and made the UST that much more, you know? Very hot!
Harry doesn't stand a chance. :)
Nice job with this!
18th January 2014 01:51
18th January 2014 01:50
(deslea from LJ here)

Oh, my, this is a really amazing piece. Tense, taut, longing seeping off the page. Wow. Great job.
18th January 2014 01:52
Thanks so much!!!!
18th January 2014 03:25
Mmmm, delicious. Nice POV. :)
19th January 2014 02:38
YAY, thank you!!! :-)
18th January 2014 04:48
Loved this. Gorgeous build up. Yum.
19th January 2014 02:38
Thank you!!!!
18th January 2014 15:23
OMG I can't even! All that UST and the guilt and asdhfajk;asdfjkl;asdfh;klsdf!!! Harry's voice is perfect in this and I can clearly see all the little scenes of them interacting. Not to mention I absolutely LOVE the way you wrote this. So unbelievably good!
19th January 2014 02:39
*squees* THANK YOU!!!
18th January 2014 19:51
When second person POV is done well, it's my absolute favourite to read-- this being a prime example of that case. Dear god, that is all sorts of delightful. I could read this all day.
19th January 2014 02:39
My goodness, what a wonderful thing to hear about this! Thank you!!!
18th January 2014 20:34
I am undone.
Utterly un-done.

The UST in this is a physical thing, surrounding and suffocating so very delightfully.

Wow, and us not knowing whether Teddy returns his feelings…… which makes it even more USTy, and then to find out that he DOES! makes Harry's sacrifice and failing control just. That. Much. More. Delightful.

Unfffff. Seriously.
19th January 2014 02:40
:-D!!! THANK YOU!!!!
19th January 2014 02:33
This is absolutely INCREDIBLE *applauds*

I loved every juicy, fucked up minute. Awesome work.
19th January 2014 02:40
Thank you so much, Writ, truly!!! <3
19th January 2014 05:50
Oooh really, really well done!!!! Love the tone and the writing and Harry is so, so screwed. Excellent last scene.
20th January 2014 18:31
Thank you so much!!!
19th January 2014 07:59
*grin* This is so wrong. Yet so well-written. I felt so sorry for Harry in the beginning. XDDD Poor baby.

20th January 2014 18:32
Thank you very much! :-D I really appreciate it!
21st January 2014 18:43
I do not have the capability to flail properly from my phone with its shattered screen. But damn that was brilliant and hot and filled with perfect tension. Wonderful work.
28th January 2014 17:24
Oh, thank you for the lovely comment!! Be careful with that phone; you'll be like the guy in the commercial. ;-)
27th January 2014 16:06
Mmmm. Yes. Right.

Er... I mean, great writing technique.

Erm... wow.

I like this fic very much indeed. In case you couldn't work that out.
28th January 2014 12:59
And now I've remembered that I'm recc-ing cross gen at crack_broom this month, so I'm off to post a rec for this there now.
28th January 2014 17:25
28th January 2014 17:24
Awww, thank you!!! :-D So happy you liked it!
28th January 2014 17:09
Gosh, I've read this at least three times already. And keep forgetting to comment because I'm too lsfjlsfjsdlkfjsdlkfjdlk over the UST. Seriously, this is the DEFINITION of UST. If anyone ever asks me, I'm pointing them to this fic right here.

The second person POV works wonderfully; I find that really hard to pull off and it can easily be misused, but not here. I couldn't imagine this story being told any other way, tbh.

One of my favorite things about this is when Harry's voice goes all capslocked. It made me smile so hard and lol.

Excellent, excellent!
28th January 2014 17:28
:-DDD! Capslocking!Harry made me totally giggle! I'm so glad you liked that part! And, of course, your comments about the UST make me just so happy! Thank you so much.

If you ever get the chance, Lorrie Moore's "Self-Help" is where a lot of her second person stories are published. All I did was seriously just try to emulate one TENTH of her utter brilliance.

Thank you again!

28th January 2014 17:18
I love the format, the command tense (is that a thing?) Poor Harry with all his negative self-talk, especially about his age. The almosts were really hot, Teddy's advances, Harry's clenched refusals. I love how you left it, with all of us wondering how long Harry can possibly hold out and none of us wanting him to.
28th January 2014 17:29
Thank you so much!!! I've always just heard it called second-person POV, but I sure like your name for it!!! :-)
4th February 2014 22:29
OMG, bebé! I just found this, and it's amazing! Did you really mean that Harry had been lusting after Teddy since he was a child or do I just have a very dirty mind? And I don't know if it's just me, but I find Teddy quite predatory. And delicious! Poor Harry doesn't stand a chance.

I loved this, bebé. <33
26th March 2014 00:45
I deeply apologize, hon, because I just completely missed this comment!

Hmmm, well, I would probably just leave it up to the reader and whatever their kink is (as far as how long Harry's wanted Teddy). My intention was just from his teenaged years, because that's my preference, but feel free to imagine anything that works for you. The kinks that go on in a reader's mind? None of my business. ;-)

Teddy's definitely working him. For sure. ;-)

Thanks SO MUCH for the sweet comment!!!
26th March 2014 01:14
Oh, sweetie, I didn't realize how this came across! :P Chan is one of the few kinks I don't enjoy. But this was so well written, and the thought only crossed my mind after I had finished it! Suddenly my eyes popped and I thought I might be reading to much into it. That's why i asked! Lol!

I stand by the "predatory" comm, though. That, he was. *nods*

And that was a very diplomatic answer! *evil grin*
26th March 2014 01:18
Well, I would never want to kink-shame anyone. :-)
12th May 2014 19:56
OH so hot. Oh so good.

I read things I don't ship when you write them because I know by the time I finish the fic I'll be shipping them like woah.
14th May 2014 17:44
What a huge compliment! Thank you!!!!
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