Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Kinky Kristmas Fic: Always and Forever (Sirius/Remus) 
12th December 2013 21:00
Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: [info]smallbrownfrog
From: [info]writcraft

Title: Always and Forever
Characters/Pairings: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Harry Potter
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: First time anal sex, oral sex, Character A asking Character B to do something they don’t want to do.
Other Warnings/Content: Slight dubious consent. Angst. Sirius and Remus live AU and no Remus/Tonks.
Word Count: ~2,700
Summary/Description: Remus and Sirius have a history which spans two decades, but even now, Remus doesn’t know if Sirius has ever really been with him at all.
Author's Notes: Dear giftee, I loved your prompt so much and I hope you like the way I used it in the fic. Please enjoy, and have a very happy holidays! Thanks to K for cheerleading and to A for the beta read and to the lovely mods for their patience.

Christmas Eve – 1980

“This is barmy. Totally barmy.” Remus swung his legs beneath him and watched Sirius brew the complicated potion carefully. “James is going to kill you.”

“He’ll never know.” Sirius winked at Remus. “It’s going to be fun.”

“Fun my arse.” Remus snorted and shifted from the table to wander around Grimmauld Place, stroking his hands over heavy leather-lined books and the dark oils on the Black family portraits. “I always knew you wanted to fuck James.”

“You’ve got to admit it’s intriguing. Besides, we’ve tried just about every trick in the book. It’s about time we started using magic.”

“Is it?” Remus turned back to Sirius and folded his arms. “Or we could just go to bed and fuck without all the acrobatics for once.”

“You know that’s not for me.” Sirius contemplated Remus with dark eyes. “All that love and romance stuff. We never said this was anything more than shagging. Just a bit of fun, you said. Don’t go all territorial on me now, Moony.”

“Chance would be a fine thing.” Remus glared at Sirius. “One of these days you might be forced to slow down and think about what matters.”

“You matter. James matters. My friends. That’s about it, really. I don’t give a hoot about sex as long as I get enough of it.”

“Lucky for you,” Remus muttered.

“Look – if you’re uncomfortable I reckon I can get someone else to do this.”

“No!” Remus practically growled out his words and gestured to the cauldron. “Just keep brewing. I don’t mind being Prongs for one night if that’s what you bloody well need. Just don’t get any ideas about Lily.”

Sirius’ eyes glinted. “You’re quite sure about that?”

Positive.” Remus shuddered at the thought and ran his hand over his chest protectively. “I’m not going to turn into a girl for anything.”

“Shame.” Sirius winked at Remus and licked his lips. Remus knew Sirius well enough by now to know Sirius was probably picturing him in a skirt and stockings. Dirty bastard.

“Are you nearly done?”

“Patience.” Sirius flicked his wand into the mixture and continued to brew. “It’s a delicate operation.”

“That’s as may be, but I’m bored and I want to go for a pint. There’s only so much time I’m prepared to spend on your sex games.”

“You don’t seem to mind when the games actually involve sex.” Sirius laughed and set a stasis charm over the potion. “Right, then. Off we go.”

With a sigh, Remus grabbed his robes and followed Sirius to the Floo.

* * *

Remus knew Sirius wouldn’t appreciate him asking how he looked after swallowing the potion down. It was part of the plan that Remus wouldn’t be Remus at all. Fortunately he had been around James more than enough to be able to adopt the cocksure swagger and lounge against the doorframe, watching Sirius.

“You look busy.”

“Do I?” Sirius looked up from his magazine and his eyes darkened as he raked his gaze over the results of the potion. “I’m not busy yet, but I was about to be.”

“Dirty pictures of blokes getting up to all sorts, I take it?” Remus forced a laugh and hoped it sounded natural. He moved to the bed with the confident stride James often adopted and flopped down next to Sirius, reaching a hand out. “Let me have a look, then.”

“I didn’t think it was your thing?” Sirius arched his eyebrow and crooked his arm behind his head. “What with your obsession with Evans.”

“It’s not my thing, not really.” Remus wracked his brains for a response which would sound natural coming from James, who would likely tell Sirius to bugger off. “Doesn’t mean I’m not curious, though.”

“Is that right?” Sirius winked and trailed his fingers down Remus’ chest. “I could show you a thing or two.”

“I bet you could.” Remus couldn’t help but laugh and hummed at the slow slide of Sirius’ fingers over his chest, arching towards him. “Go on, then. Show me what it’s all about.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice.” Sirius laughed and settled over Remus. He tore at his trousers eagerly and groaned when he finally managed to tug them down. “You look good, Prongs.”

“I know I do.” Remus tried to make the reply sound light and casual, but he wasn’t sure he’d managed it. After taking the Polyjuice, Remus had looked at the toned and healthy lines of James’ body. Although Remus was better endowed, that was really where any comparison ended.

James had been lavished with attention by his family and the years of playing Quidditch had kept his body taut and muscular. In comparison to Remus with his pale skin and scars, he had to wonder if this idea was even more stupid than he had thought. Given the choice, Remus felt quite sure he knew which form Sirius would prefer on a regular basis.

“Cocky bastard.” Sirius snorted and Remus assumed he must have got away with his quick reply. He didn’t worry too much about it, when Sirius pressed down over his cock.

Sirius always had a way with his mouth and this time was no exception. He flicked his tongue in a way which he knew drove Remus wild and he took Remus deep into his throat, swallowing around him with a hum and a muffled moan.

Fuck, yes.” Remus tangled his hand into Sirius’ hair and guided him over his cock, thrusting up into his mouth when the sensation became too much. “I’m close.”

“Not yet.” With a growl Sirius pulled back, his eyes flashing with humour. He nudged Remus over onto his hands and knees and dripped cold lubricant along his crease. “Fuck, you’re going to be so tight.”

Remus sucked in a breath and pressed his backside up to Sirius. James had probably never been fucked like this before, and Remus was – technically – being fucked for the first time again. He remembered the ache and initial pain of penetration from when he and Sirius had first fucked, half-drunk and desperate for one another. He tangled the sheets in his fists and clutched at them as he felt the first probe of Sirius pushing a finger slowly inside him.

“So this is what it’s like then?” With a growl, Remus huffed out his words and tried to keep in mind he was James and this was the first time he had felt the sensation of someone pushing inside him.

“Not quite. It gets better.” Sirius prepared Remus slowly with a deep groan of pleasure, and then gripped his hair, pulling him back onto his cock with one hard thrust.

“Fucking hell, Padfoot!” Remus cried out sharply and clenched around Sirius, forcing himself to relax and gritting his teeth. Sirius gave him a moment to adjust and then began to fuck him with deep, quick motions.

“You’re perfect. Best fuck I’ve ever had.” Sirius growled out his words and pressed over Remus, fucking him harder – the cry and gasp from Remus clearly spurring him on. “I know you want this – I’ve always known. Gets you hard, doesn’t it?” He wrapped his hand around Remus’ cock and stroked him roughly.

“It does…” Remus swallowed because this wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want to hear Sirius tell James how fucking good he looked or how long Sirius had been waiting for this. He didn’t want to hear any of it. He just wanted to be Remus again, and the recipient of a lazy-bastard smile from Sirius while they collected themselves in a tangle of sweaty limbs and slow kisses.

Sirius grunted and Remus knew he was lost in the sensations. He gave himself over to the pleasure of being fucked by Sirius until he found himself coming with a shudder and a soft, needy cry.

“Bloody hell.” Sirius came with a groan and shifted off Remus, to flop onto his back trying to catch his breath.

“It was alright, then?” Remus felt his body shift and change back to normal and collapsed down onto the bed.

“You know it was.” Sirius groaned and stretched his body out on the bed, reaching for Remus and kissing him fiercely. “Bloody brilliant.”

“You know what you said…” Remus trailed off and Sirius furrowed his brow.

“It was just heat of the moment stuff. Nothing to worry about. It was pretty good, you have to admit.”

“I prefer it the usual way.” Remus felt his heart hammer in his chest and Sirius nodded, closing his eyes.


* * *

Christmas Eve – 1995

When Sirius came back into Remus’ life with wild eyes and a tangle of hair, Remus pressed into his embrace as if it might be their last. All of the history between them melted away and they were back in the moment of acrid cigarette smoke, expensive cologne and the slide of limbs moving together as one. The flash of his memories caused Remus to snuffle into Sirius’ neck and he breathed in the scent of him with a sigh.

“I wasn’t sure I’d ever see you again.”

“Well here I am.” With the same lazy smile, Sirius ruffled Remus’ hair and reached for a cigarette. He contemplated Remus with dark eyes and his smile took on a hard edge. “You thought it was me.”

“Yes.” Remus raised his eyebrow and huffed. “And you thought I was a spy. Bloody idiot.”

“For a while,” Sirius admitted. He reached for Remus and traced his long fingers down Remus’ cheek. “I missed you, wolf.”

“Did you?” Remus shrugged and his heart clenched. “I suppose you’d miss anyone trapped in a place like that for years.”

“Not really.” Sirius kept his focus steady and he brushed his lips against Remus’ cheek. “You’re the one I thought about most of all.”

“And James?” Remus held his breath.

“James is dead.” Sirius looked away and Remus released his breath in a puff of condensation.

“He’s been dead a long time. We’ve got Harry to think of now.”

Harry.” Sirius let the name fall from his lips with a low growl of affection. His eyes lit and shone and he looked to Remus. “Looks a lot like his dad, don’t you think?”

“Apart from the eyes.” Remus furrowed his brow. “He’s fourteen years old, Padfoot.”

“I know.” Sirius grinned at Remus. “Do you really think I’m that fucked up?”

Remus couldn’t find the words of reassurance and he shrugged. “What now?”

“I’m buggered if I know.” Sirius crossed his legs and stretched back on the sofa before looking at Remus. “Do you remember what we did all those years ago?”

“The fucking?”

“And the Polyjuice.” Sirius tipped his head to one side and watched Remus with dark eyes. “I thought about that a lot too.”

“Thought you might have done.” Remus glared and folded his arms. His lips tightened and he flicked his gaze over Sirius. “You look like shit.”

“I’ve spent the past few months in hiding, and the last eleven years in Azkaban, of course I look like shit.” Sirius stubbed his cigarette out and flicked his wand to send a bottle of Firewhiskey careering towards them, lurching alarmingly from side to side.

Remus watched Sirius pour himself a healthy measure of amber liquid, the scent of the liquor filling his nostrils.

“I’m going for a walk.”

“I’ll be here when you get back.” Sirius flicked his tongue over his lips and gave him a look which promised everything. “If you’re interested.”

With a nod, Remus left the room and he dropped his forehead against the cool wall. He was always interested.

That was the problem.

* * *

“What’s this?” Sirius traced the scars on Remus’ chest and flicked his tongue against his neck. “You’ve been hurting yourself again.”

“I don’t exactly have people to stop me, anymore.” Remus closed his eyes and let Sirius caress his battered skin. “I’m not thinking clearly when I’m a wolf. The Wolfsbane helps.”

“Does it?” Sirius didn’t sound so sure and he curled a strand of Remus’ hair around his finger. “I’ll stay with you, next time.”

“If you like.” Remus shrugged and turned onto his side. He was too old for being fucked against a wall by an exuberant Sirius. His limbs ached and he felt sore in places which hadn’t pained him for a long time.

“You’re quiet.” Sirius pressed against Remus and rocked against his back. “Come back to me.”

Remus turned and cupped his hand to Sirius’ cheek, his voice gruff.

“I never left you.”

“No.” Sirius looked closely at Remus and captured his lips in a languid kiss. “I don’t suppose you did.”

* * *

Christmas Eve – 2000

“You’re fucking gorgeous.”

“Don’t be daft.” Remus flushed under the look Sirius gave him and tilted his chin upwards. “You’re mad.”

“Perhaps a little.” Sirius stroked his fingers under Remus’ chin and kissed him slowly. “It’s Christmas tomorrow. We could go flying.”

“We could.” Remus swallowed because he didn’t fly. Sirius knew that. He supposed this was all part of the game. “If the weather’s good. We’re expecting snow tomorrow.”

“A bit of snow never put you off.” Sirius grinned and buried his head in Remus’ neck. “Merlin, you smell good. Just like…”

“My father?” Remus bit back the angry words he wanted to say and clutched onto Sirius more tightly.

“Yeah, something like that.” Sirius pushed Remus back onto the bed and dropped his hand between them to palm at Remus’ cock. “You like this, don’t you? Dirty boy.”

“I might. I think you like it too.” Remus tried to adopt some of Harry’s cheek and pressed up into Sirius’ hand. No matter how much he hated this, he found the slightest touch from Sirius still made his body hum and quiver with pleasure. He needed Sirius like he needed air to breathe and he wanted to give him everything, even if he hated it sometimes – more than he could stand.

“You’re a cheeky little whelp.” Sirius laughed and unbuckled the comfortable jeans Remus had slipped into earlier that evening.

In the dark room, Remus breathed in the scent of Sirius. Their clothing and trinkets collected over the years lay scattered about the place in a mess of comfortable living. They lived in relative comfort and Sirius had settled into a relationship far better than Remus could ever have expected.

It wasn’t so bad to do something like this on the odd occasion. To spice things up, that’s what Sirius said.

They kissed and Remus could taste cigarettes and whiskey, mingling with the flavour of the Polyjuice. Harry tasted like chocolate frogs and caramel, where James had tasted richer – like an expensive fruit cake or a sugary treat from Zonko’s.

“We’ll always be together.” Sirius murmured the words in Remus’ ear as he moved his hand over his cock in a slow slide.

“We will,” Remus agreed.

He supposed it was true, in a manner of speaking.

14th December 2013 01:58
Oh gods...This was magnificent. The twisting nature of the relationship and Remus's compliance with Sirius's wishes...it feels so natural, like this situation could have happened between them. And there are some deliciously hot parts, but what's even better is the roiling angst almost caressing the prose, although never quite overwhelming it. And Sirius and Remus are so in character! A brilliant read. ♥
16th January 2014 00:04
Thank you so much for such a wonderful comment. I like doing twisty relationship backstories for Marauder ships, and I'm so pleased this particular idea worked for you. Thank you!!
14th December 2013 06:09
That's an incredible twist on 'first time', beautifully (and tragically) in character. *Shiver*.
16th January 2014 00:05
Thank you so much!
15th December 2013 04:38
This is really great. I love it! ♥
16th January 2014 00:05
Thank you!
17th December 2013 05:58
Oh wow. This is amazing. Thank you mystery author for all these layers of wonderful feelings. Poor Remus: what an achingly sad mix of requited and unrequited love. Even in the midst of getting what he wants, he doesn't get what he wants at all.

*goes back to reread*
16th January 2014 00:07
Thank you so much for such wonderful prompts. There's so much I could have done with them, I'm so pleased you enjoyed this somewhat morose little thing. Very belated Happy Holidays!
17th December 2013 22:21
Oh this made me ache. Beautiful, beautiful angst. Still incredibly hot in a really twisted way. But I'm just devastated for Remus. Unable to stay away, but never knowing who Sirius really wants. My heart. Lovely job!
16th January 2014 00:07
Thank you for such a lovely comment. I'm so thrilled you enjoyed the fic.
20th December 2013 21:17
I feel for Remus. God gosh, Sirius is just playing around with his emotions but he never stops going back.
16th January 2014 00:08
I felt for Remus writing this, too *pets him*
21st December 2013 00:35
Wow... I'm sort of in awe when someone can break my heart and turn me on at the very same time. Amazing piece.
16th January 2014 00:09
I'm so pleased you enjoyed it, lovely! <3
21st December 2013 22:48
Hot and so very fucked up--I love it! Brilliant, really. Somehow I imagine Sirius is the type to get anyone to do anything and Remus clearly thinks it's worth it-resistance is futile as they say. Great job.
16th January 2014 00:09
Thank you so much! I like a bit of fucked up Marauder sex :D
23rd December 2013 07:20
wowowowowowowowow, so beautifully written and so painful. as other have said, you give us them together and so hot, yet totally heartbreaking. Well done.
16th January 2014 00:09
Thank you so much!
15th January 2014 14:29
This was hot and sad and wrong and lovely. Well done!
16th January 2014 00:10
Thank you! I'm so pleased you enjoyed it.
3rd January 2015 22:28
Oh gods, this is so bloody sad. Hot - very hot - but ouch. My heart hurts now.
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