Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Fic: A Bit Too Exciting (Sirius/Tonks - NC17) 
5th January 2013 13:45
Title: A Bit Too Exciting
Author: [info]alisanne
Characters: Sirius Black/Nymphadora Tonks
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Canon character death, mild angst
Themes/kinks chosen: Capnolagnia (smoking fetish), phygephilia (arousal from flight, either real or by proxy), podophilia (foot fetish), and a passing mention of nymphomania/satyriasis.
Word Count: ~3400
Summary: Tonks knew better, but she couldn't help herself.
Author's notes: I've decided to play a bit this year, try some new pairings. Which is not to say there will be no Snarry, but I'd like to see what I can do with some other characters this year. :)
Thanks to [info]sevfan for the beta, to [info]lilyseyes for the handholding, and to the DD mods for providing a sandbox in which to play.
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.


A Bit Too Exciting


It happened on a Thursday evening.

Tonks had been assigned to watch Black. Again. She’d tried to get out of it but Moody had just stared at her with that bloody eye of his until she’d consented. Damn, but that thing is unnerving, she thought as she trudged towards Grimmauld Place. She’d only agreed just to get out of having to deal with him. And Molly. Her sodding matchmaking is driving me mad. No matter what she says, Lupin just isn’t my type. I’m not the sort to fall in love.

Whipping the parchment out of her pocket, she read the location aloud, waiting for the house to appear. Then, heaving a sigh, she walked towards the door.

“You seem as thrilled to be here as I am,” came a gravelly voice, and it was all Tonks could do not to jump.

Wand out, she peered into the darkness. “Who’s there?”

There was a flare of a cigarette tip and a figure moved into the reflected light of the streetlamp. “Hello, Nymphadora,” purred Sirius. “Sorry if I...scared you.”

Tonks narrowed her eyes. “Don’t call me that! And you didn’t scare me,” she lied, putting away her wand. “I was just startled.”

Sirius smirked. “Of course. My apologies.” He took another deep drag of his cigarette. When he exhaled, he closed his eyes, pursed his lips, and, tipping his head back, blew three perfect, smoky rings.

Tonks’ mouth went dry. There’s no way he knows what seeing him smoke does to me, how...wet it makes me. Swallowing hard, she looked away, towards the street, and pressed her legs together. “Should you really be out here? Someone could see you.”

Sirius snorted. “Dumbledore’s Fidelius Charm includes the front yard,” he said, dropping the cigarette butt and grinding it beneath his heel. “No one can see in.”

Tonks sighed. “Look, I know it must be miserable to be confined--”

“Do you?” Sirius interrupted, starting for the front door. “Do you really, Nymphadora?”

Tonks clenched her teeth, following him inside. “Why do you do that?” she gritted out. “You know I hate it!”

Sirius spun to face her, his eyes glittering in the dank shadows of the entrance hallway. He smiled. “I know and I’m sorry, but it...amuses me.”

“My name amuses you?” Tonks snapped, hands on her hips.

Sirius shrugged. “Petty, I know, but it reminds me of ‘nymphomaniac’. Not,” he raised his hand as she went for her wand, “that I’m saying you are one, but I like the sound of it.” He sighed. “Sorry. Being alone all the time hasn’t done anything for my sense of humour.”

“Nor your sense of propriety,” Tonks muttered, pushing past him.

“Oh, come on,” Sirius said, trailing after her. “Don’t be angry. You’re young, you can’t tell me you’d be happy being cooped up here day in and day out with nothing to do. And no one to talk to.”

Tonks sighed. She’d be miserable and he knew it. Stalking into the sitting room, she settled on a sofa, crossing her legs. “Right, well I’m here now,” she said. “And I’m spending the evening, so I’m sure we can come up with something to do.”

Sirius stared at her for a long, unnerving moment before smiling. “Right, then I guess I should take advantage of your company.” Sauntering over to a cabinet, he tossed over his shoulder, “Drink?”

Tonks hesitated. Technically she was on duty, but she felt as though she could really use a drink just then. And there’s nothing wrong with the Black liquor cabinet. “Got any Ogden’s Old?”

“Of course.” Black pulled out two tumblers and a bottle that was three-quarters of the way full. Setting the bottle down on the side table, he handed her a tumbler before sliding in beside her. Pouring her drink first, he filled his own glass and clinked his tumbler against hers. “Here’s to company.”

Tonks smiled. “To company,” she agreed, tossing back the drink. Licking her lips, she held out the tumbler, amused to see Sirius’ reaction. “What? Did you think I couldn’t hold my liquor?”

“Clearly I was wrong.” Inclining his head, Sirius fixed her another drink, then, pursing his lips, he set the bottle between them on the sofa. “So, what do you do when you’re not babysitting Azkaban escapees? A young, vibrant woman like you. You probably have quite the social life.”

Tonks sighed. “I wish. Between my Auror schedule and Molly Weasley’s matchmaking--”

Sirius leaned in. “Matchmaking?” He hummed. “Yes, that’s just like her. And who’s she trying to set you up with?”

Tonks snorted, reaching for the Ogden’s Old bottle and pouring herself another healthy shot. “I know he’s your friend, but Lupin’s not really my type.”

“Remus?” A slow smile spread over Sirius’ face. “He’s all right once you get to know him. What do you have against him?”

“Nothing against him, he’s just--” Tonks huffed, frustrated. How to explain that he felt too safe? That he just wasn’t exciting enough? He was too...nice? “He’s just not my type.”

“Hmm.” Sirius topped up her drink. “And what’s your type exactly?”

Tonks ran her tongue over her top lip as she pondered what to say. “Exciting,” she finally said. “Someone with a bit of a dangerous edge to him. Not a criminal or anything, just--”

“Not boring.” Sirius smirked. “Well, I can see how you’d think Remus was rather...staid and dull. I thought the same when I first met him when we were first-years together, but trust me, he’s got a bit of an...animal side. You could do worse.”

“Not you, too!” Tonks shook her head. “Why does everyone think we’d be so good together?”

“Oh, I didn’t say that.” Sirius tipped his tumbler back, draining it before setting it down on the table. “I just think you could do worse. But if it’s excitement you want--” Reaching for her, he dragged her to her feet. “Come with me,” he said.

“Where are we going?” Tonks gasped as she was pulled through the kitchen and then out the back door.

“For a ride.” They burst outside and there, reflected in the moonlight, sat Sirius’ bike.

“We can’t,” Tonks said. “Someone may see.”

“I thought you said you wanted excitement?” Sirius asked, her hand still clasped in his. “And no one will see us. It’s got Muggle-Repelling Charms, and Dumbledore extended the Fidelius Charm on the house so that it’s included, too.”

Tonks frowned. “Wait, how’s that work?”

“No clue,” Sirius said cheerfully. Releasing her hand, he climbed onto the bike. “Coming?”

Tonks bit her lip. She loved flying. There was just something about the wind in her face that made her feel...free. And turned her on. “We shouldn’t.”

Sirius started the bike, smirking at her as the initial low thrum of the engine settled into a soft purr. “I thought you like a little danger?” He winked. “Plus, if you don’t go I can’t, and you don’t want to deprive me of flying, do you?”

She huffed, but the offer was too good to resist. She loved flying and she’d never been on a flying motorbike. “Yeah, all right,” she said, climbing on behind him. “But when I say we come back, we come right back.”

“You’re in charge,” Sirius agreed. “I love a woman who knows what she wants.”

Tonks’ eyes narrowed but before she could respond to that they were taking off, shooting up past the houses and trees. Tightening her arms around his waist, Tonks clung as the breath left her lungs and the wind whipped past them. Unable to help herself, she whooped loudly.

“Brilliant, isn’t it?” Sirius cried. “Hold on. You’ll love this bit!”

After steadying out, he took them into a dive, buzzing over some trees. Feeling daring, Tonks reached out and touched some leaves, grinning as she did so. It was exhilarating, and the intoxicating combination of being airborne and the buzz of the engine against her core meant that soon enough, she began to feel that familiar coil of arousal in her belly. Closing her eyes, she moaned. Merlin, I need--

“Are you okay?” Sirius asked. “Want to go back?”

Regretfully, Tonks nodded. “We probably should. Knowing Moody, he’ll Floo and check on us.”

“Right. Hang on.” Shifting, Sirius slid back against Tonks for a moment, the delicious sensation of his arse pressing against her core making her want to shove herself closer and hump to completion right there.

Closing her eyes, Tonks exhaled. She was wet and it wouldn’t take much to make her come. If I could just slip one finger into my knickers--

“Brace yourself!” Sirius cried and a moment later they were on the ground, rolling up to Grimmauld Place’s back door.

Tonks managed to slide off the back of the bike without falling, but as she turned to start for the house, she tripped over something, and, flailing, ended up on her arse. “Bollocks!”

“No worries,” said Sirius, reaching to help her up. “It happens.”

Angry at herself for being so clumsy, Tonks practically launched herself at him, ending up in his arms, their faces mere millimetres apart. He has gorgeous eyes, she thought.

He smirked at her. “So, Nymphadora--”

Growling, Tonks did the only thing she could think of to shut him up. Reaching up, she dragged his head down, grinding her lips against his.

It was no sweet kiss. Tonks bit at Sirius’ mouth, moaning as he bit back, giving as good as he got. He’d staggered slightly the moment she’d started snogging him but had adjusted quickly. She could feel him fumbling with her shirt, fingers slipping inside to slide over her nipples. “Don’t call me that,” she whimpered once they’d parted for air.

She could feel Sirius smile as he kissed her neck. “You realise this isn’t likely to dissuade me?”

“Pillock,” she muttered, wrestling with his trousers to get to the man beneath. Within seconds she had his prick in her hand. Squeezing experimentally, she said, “Although this is nice enough--”

“Glad you approve,” he growled, thrusting into her hand.

“I’ll approve more if you put it inside me soon,” she said, whimpering as two of his wandering fingers moved between her legs to dip inside her. “Yes, there--”

“We need to take this inside,” he hissed, mouthing her jaw, fingers thrusting in and out. “The charms on the garden are good...but not foolproof.”

“Right.” Backing him towards the door, Tonks whimpered as he pulled his fingers out of her long enough to open the door. Once inside, however, he wasted no time pressing her against the wall and bending down to snog her senseless.

She was gasping by the time he drew back, and it took her a moment to realise he was kneeling. “What are you-- Fuck!”

“Give me a minute.” Sirius hummed, shoving her trousers and knickers off with one firm push of his hand. Nuzzling her curls, he slid his tongue between the folds of her cunt, licking gently.

Tonks’ breath stuttered. Hands settling in his hair, she moaned as his thumbs spread her apart, his tongue beginning to slide over her swollen flesh. She felt so empty. “Sirius,” she hissed. “Please--”

Clearly he understood, because he wasted no time sliding two fingers into her, moving them in and out as he shifted, sucking her swollen clit.

She bucked against the wall, trying desperately to get closer to his tormenting mouth, but one hand was like a vice on her hip, holding her in place as he explored her thoroughly. “Sirius, I’m going to--”

Somehow, Sirius flicked his tongue faster and she started to come, her inner muscles clamping down on his fingers as she shuddered through her orgasm.

When she could finally think again he was standing, rocking against her. “Fuck me,” she whispered. “Come on.”

“I will,” he said, pulling back to stare into her eyes. “You still want excitement?”

The low, dangerous note in his voice made her moan. “Yes.”

He smiled, and her stomach flipped. “Trust me?”


“Good.” Covering her mouth with his, Sirius kissed her. When he drew back she could see he’d manoeuvred them over to a bench. He sat, pulling her down onto his lap. “You’ll love this.”

Tonks smiled. She loved chair sex. But when his hands shifted, parting her arse cheeks, one finger stroking over her arsehole, her eyes widened. “Sirius, what--”

“Relax,” he soothed, sucking her nipple into his mouth.

As he flicked his tongue, all thoughts fled. Closing her eyes, Tonks arched closer, whimpering as his cock slid over her perineum to nudge against her hole.

He whispered something and warmth, then slipperiness spread through her. A moment later his slick with lubrication finger moved inside, sliding past the ring of muscle with little resistance. Tonks tensed, but when it didn’t hurt, she relaxed again. “Feels...odd.”

“Good odd?” Sirius asked around her nipple, his tongue moving slowly. Mesmerisingly.

“Not bad,” she breathed, adjusting.

“And this?” Sirius pushed a second finger in alongside the first, twisting them.

“Fuck,” she moaned. It felt illicit. Dangerous. So good.

“I take it you approve,” Sirius chuckled. Before she could respond verbally, however, his cock was right there, pressing her open. “Shift up, love,” he whispered. “Time to keep my promise.”

She did, and when she started to sit down, she moaned as she took him deeper. “Promise?” she asked as he began thumbing her clit, circling it while his cock moved deeper inside her arse. Tonks bit her lip, trembling.

When he was almost fully seated in her, he smiled up at her. “Oh yes. After all, I promised you a ride.”

Tonks laughed, but it morphed into a groan as Sirius began to thrust up. “Fuck.”

“That’s the idea,” Sirius said as she started to move, sliding up and down his cock. As she found her rhythm, his head fell back to rest against the wall, and he stared at her through heavy-lidded eyes, one hand playing with a nipple. “Fuck, but you’re a natural.”

Her thighs were straining, sweat was falling into her eyes, but Tonks kept moving. The admiration and lust burning in Sirius’ eyes was enough to spur her on, and only when she began to falter did he grasp her hips and, leaning her back, begin to thrust.

Sirius didn’t last long, after only a few thrusts he started to come, shoving deep, burying his face between her breasts as he growled through his release.

Wet once more, Tonks leaned forward and, bracing herself on his shoulder with one hand, used the other to bring herself off within moments. “Bloody hell,” she gasped once she’d recovered.

“The rewards of living dangerously,” Sirius murmured, his face still between her breasts.

Laughing, she drew back. “Are you all right? Not suffocated?”

Sirius sighed. “It was hard to breathe,” he admitted. He grinned. “But definitely worth it.”

Rolling her eyes, Tonk moved off his lap. He held her steady as she regained her footing, and within a minute, both were back in the sitting room, the last of the bottle of Ogden’s Old emptied into their tumblers.

It was just in time. The Floo flared, Alastor Moody’s face peering about the room. “Everything all right there?”

Tonks saluted. “We’re fine, Moody.”

Moody scowled. “All right, but don’t get complacent! Constant vigilance.”

Sirius smirked. “Don’t worry. Tonks has been very...vigilant. She hasn’t let me out of her sight.”

Somehow, Tonks managed not to snort.

Once they were alone, Sirius said, “So, the night’s early. What should we do next?”

Tonks shook her head. He was definitely going to keep her on her toes.


Things changed again on another Thursday.

They were on the sofa, Sirius sucking her great toe in yet another sexual experiment when suddenly, the Floo flared. “Black!” barked Severus Snape. “Are you there?”

Pressing a kiss to her instep, Sirius moved off the sofa to stoop by the Floo, thus blocking Snape’s view of the room while she slipped on her boots. “What is it, Snape?”

“Potter thinks you’re at the Ministry. He saw you there in a vision. I was just making sure you hadn’t been so foolish as to leave Grimmauld Place.”

“Where’s Harry now?”

Snape snorted. “How am I supposed to know? The bloody miscreant’s disappeared, along with several of his cohorts. Anyway, now that I know you’re not there, I’ll let the rest of the Order know something is afoot.”

Once the Floo had been disconnected, Tonks walked up to Sirius, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Stay here,” she said. “I’ll check it out and I’ll let you know what I find out.”

“I fucking hate this!” he bit out.

Tonks sighed. She loved how exciting sex was with him, was probably close to falling for him, too, but sometimes he was so frustrating. “I know, but you can’t go. It’s too dangerous. I’ll Floo later and fill you in.”

“Fine,” he snapped. “Whatever.”

Of course, Sirius being who he was, the next time she saw him was exactly twenty-six minutes later. As if in slow motion, she saw and heard Bellatrix Lestrange shout a curse, a jet of light flew towards Sirius, and, horrified, Tonks watched him float through the veil.

“No,” she whispered.

Harry started shouting, so no one noticed Tonks, who started crying. Even after Harry had rushed off after Bellatrix, Tonks couldn’t move. She stood there, staring at the veil, unable to believe it was over. He can’t be dead. He just can’t.

Even seeing Harry fight Voldemort, all Tonks could think was, He can’t be dead. Not Sirius.

When it was over, and Dumbledore was leading Harry away, Tonk was still just...staring. Gobsmacked.

“Are you all right?”

Blinking, Tonks looked up to see Remus Lupin looking down at her. They were alone in the Ministry, and matching grief was reflected in his eyes. In that moment she knew Sirius really wasn’t coming back. “I...I--”

Without speaking, he pulled her close, hugging her as she started to cry once more. Clinging to him, Tonks sighed, and as Remus led her out of the Department of Mysteries, she knew her world had changed. I should have known love wasn’t for me.

“Don’t say that,” Remus said softly.

Tonks bit her lip, not realising she’d spoken out loud. “I...sorry, but--”

“Sh.” Leading her to the Floo, he said, “Go home. I’ll see you tomorrow. And Tonks?”

She looked at him. “Yes?”

“Don’t give up on love yet, yeah?”

Tonks searched his face, seeing grief and exhaustion, but also truth in his eyes. Nodding once, she Flooed away. And when she got home, she poured herself some Ogden’s Old. “I’ll miss you, Sirius,” she whispered aloud as she tipped it back. Something about the way Remus had comforted her had struck a chord and she sighed. “But maybe life with you would have been a bit too exciting.”


5th January 2013 20:25
I was all ready to tell you how fucking HOT that was and then you had to go all canon on me. D: OK, well, it was hot. Love Sirius taking her for a ride on his bike and then coming back and taking her on another ride. *vbg* I do like thinking they both had a bit of happiness for a while. Nicely done, dear.
7th January 2013 23:11
Yeah, sorry about the canon part. I couldn't resist, though. In my head she does end up with Remus, no matter how unlikely it seems, so I guess my muse made it happen. :/
*nods* As you say, at least they were both happy for a time. :)
Thank you, hon! Glad you enjoyed it!
5th January 2013 22:01
Ouch! and yet, it was bittersweet and hot. Well done, darling!
7th January 2013 23:12
Thank you, hon!
I guess I'm not ALL fluff, hm? :)
6th January 2013 01:26
Huh. I don't think I have ever read this pairing before, but damn if it doesn't work.

I never liked Remus so my judgement may have been off, but I could never see someone so beaten down ending up with the most vibrant character JK introduced. But her with Sirius? The #dirtyfiltyawesomewrong aspect of their incestuous affair aside, I LOVE IT, OMG!!

Sirius is wild and a little insane here, and Tonks is clumsy and fierce and delightful. They are so hot together, the motorcycle ride and the hot sex, and the ending!! Staying true to canon just broke my heart for Tonks!

Awesome job, bb! Just give in and admit you have a jonesing for #teamangst ;)
7th January 2013 23:15
I know, right? I've never read them before but it totes makes sense to me. :)
Heh. And you know, their relatively close family ties never even occurred to me. *blush* Fandom has definitely corrupted me! *g*

Thank you, bb!
And yeah, perhaps I can be an honorary member of team angst as long as it doesn't involve my OTP/secondary TPs. *g*
6th January 2013 07:47
This is beautiful, I love it, but yet its so heartfelt. Lovely!
7th January 2013 23:15
Thank you, my dear! Glad you enjoyed it. :)
6th January 2013 11:00
Guuuuuuuh! This was really great. Sirius/Tonks was my first ever Potter OTP, and still one of my fave rave rare pairs. You really did them justice here! Definitely hot and sexy and very much in character! :)
7th January 2013 23:18
Thank you, hon! I think of you as the Tonks expect, so hearing I got her IC is a lovely treat. :)

Sirius/Tonks was my first ever Potter OTP

Were they really? I can't say I've ever read any Sirius/Tonks but maybe I need to go in search of some... *g*
Thanks again! :)
8th January 2013 00:39
I loved both your Tonks and your Sirius here. They were great (and believe me, I don't say that if it's not true!)

I started shipping them as soon as I read OotP for the first time (right after it was released). I tried very hard to ship them in my first RPG, but the game's Sirius was all "ew! but they're cousins!" so it never happened (of course, knowing my European history as I do -- including my mom's own family, cousincest at that level is NOT considered taboo in the least!).

A few blasts from my past (none of which you're obligated to read):

Desperate But Not Sirius (OR I Wanna Be Your Dog) (Sirius/Tonks)

Bizarre Love Triangle (Sirius/Tonks/Harry)

We Fade To Grey (Sirius/Tonks)

Wicked Game (Sirius/Tonks, Remus)

Not Really Even Sex (Bill/Tonks, Tonks/Sirius, Bill/Sirius, Bill/Tonks/Sirius)
8th January 2013 05:07
Ooh, thank you for the links. *glee*
And yeah, the cousin thing didn't bother me at all. I don't really think of them as being that related at all. :)
8th January 2013 05:13
You're welcome. You're under absolutely no obligation to read them. I know there are a few other fics out there -- I'll try to find some I like. I'm terrible at bookmarking things.

The cousin thing never bothered me because they're not that close (not that fictional incest actually bothers me anyway). My great grandmother married her third cousin back In The Old Country, and my first boyfriend was a third cousin something something removed, and we barely thought of each other as related. (Granted I was like 10 and he was 12, but...)
26th January 2013 22:37
Oh, I should tell you, I read that first one and giggled all through it.
*pets Sirius* Donuts. Hah! Just delightful.

Imma get to the rest one of these days. ;)
7th January 2013 00:58
Hot and sexy with such a bitter ending. Well done.
7th January 2013 23:19
Thank you, my dear! You're too kind. :)
8th January 2013 14:41
I loved this. Been a while since I've read any het but I loved it. And it went canon in the end but now it makes all Harry's suspicions about Tonks and Sirius true!
8th January 2013 20:06
LOL! Indeed. Clearly Harry has great instincts. ;)
And thank you for taking a chance on the het. I don't write it often either, but this one was fun. :)
8th January 2013 14:59
Ahhhh super hot and then you had to go on and BREAK MY HEART. *SNIFF* But it actually would make more sense to me that Remus and Tonks came together (or started out at least) bonding over their grief about Sirius rather than how seemingly random it was in canon.

But still, I'm going to choose to focus on the sex parts in the first 2/3rds of the fic. :DDD Well done, hon. I like this new pairings idea you have too!
8th January 2013 20:08
Thanks, bb! *cuddles*
And that was exactly what I was thinking, too! Remus was a bit too...laid back for Tonks as far as I could tell, but bonding after a tragedy? Yeah, it totally made sense.
*nods* Focusing on the sex makes total sense to me, bb!
Thanks again! ♥
25th January 2013 18:47
Oh, Sirius, you dirty dog. :D

(I am, as with the books, ignoring the canon relationships I don't like.)
26th January 2013 22:36
Heh. Oh yeah, I'm all for ignoring inconvenient canon relationships. ;)
Thank you, my dear!
24th May 2013 19:23
Er, you don't mind getting comments months later, do you? :)

So my initial comment was going to be: BIKE RIDE! Wall sex! Chair sex! Het anal! Dammit, that was so fucking HOT, lkflflfkldsdk;lk;lkakas;ks;adk!!!

And that's STILL my comment, but also: you suddenly went into canon territory (the hotness had made me totally forgot the character death warning by then!) and I found myself barely holding back tears. Nice way to explain the Remus/Tonks in canon, too. I loved how Tonks couldn't see herself with Remus before that in the story. And loved that you gave Sirius some fun and joy with Tonks before his untimely end. :)
27th May 2013 19:42
Heh. I adore all comments no matter when they arrive. ♥

Thank you so much, sweetie! Yeah, I figured Sirius would be a bit wild in his sexual habits, and allowing him some fun seemed the least I could do, given canon.
And I wasn't sure I was going to make it canon compliant at all, tbh, but the story seemed to call for it somehow, you know?
*g* Het anal is *cough* one of my favorite tropes, I guess because at heart, I'm really a slasher. ;)

*nods* I had to have a reason for the Remus/Tonks, I just didn't buy it in canon (still don't), so I...explained it for myself. ;)

I'm so pleased you liked it, hon! Thanks again for the wonderful comments!
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