Title: Not One or the Other - Starting from Zero (Nothing to Lose)
Author: lore
Characters: Snape/Black/(Lupin)
Rating: NC17/NWS
Warnings: Wall sex
Kink chosen: Gay Men
Word Count: ~2350
Summary: The tale of how Sirius and Snape ended up together in the first place.
Author's notes: Part of the Not One or the Other universe. The events of this story come before Not One or the Other chronologically, but reference events detailed in Not One or the Other, therefore, I recommend reading this chapter after having read at least the first story in the universe. These characters, etc., belong to JKR and I am merely taking them out for a smutastic spin. Thanks to Kel for support and beta. Feedback would be welcome in any form it might take, so squee or concrit away!

Not One or the Other
Not One or the Other - Call Transfer
Not One or the Other - Convincing


It took Sirius far less time than he expected to talk Snape into a shag, which meant only a short eternity as opposed to never.

"Look, I know you want him, I know I want him, and he isn't moving on either of us," Sirius reasoned. "So what's to stop us from a little slap and tickle to take the edge off while we wait for Remus to notice?"

"Only a mongrel masquerading as a man would come up with such self-serving logic."

Snape had begun coming to the house more often after his blow-out argument with Sirius over Harry. It had taken Remus many hours of patiently fielding questions before Sirius would accept that what Snape had said was meant to honour Harry's memory, not denigrate it. Sirius had expected the worst out of Snape from habit, but he learned that day that even sour old Potions masters could be transformed by the tragedy of a young hero's sacrifice.

Today they were standing in Sirius' garage, surrounded by wood and power tools. Snape had come out to take Sirius' temperature and other readings to determine his state of health for future restorative potions when Sirius decided to prove his return to full lucidity by propositioning the man. In retrospect, Sirius decided he should have known that suggesting they sleep together would make Snape decide he was insane all over again.

"You do not even know if I prefer men!" Snape continued, eyes narrowed, clearly expecting a trap from the former Marauder.

"In all the years I've known you, I've only ever seen you look at Remus with desire, be it during school or after, so don't give me any bollocks about you not being gay." Sirius held up his hands as if to physically reject the notion as well. "Anyone who can ignore Hestia's knockers sitting on the table at one of those deadly dull Order meetings is a shirt-lifter, through and through."

Snape scowled and crossed his arms over his chest. "You noticed her assets on display. I suppose you're straight and that desperate, then!"

"No, no, I-" Sirius' eyelashes fluttered haphazardly, which they did whenever his confidence faltered these days. He had come far from his first months back from behind the veil, but he still occasionally reverted to that childlike state of insecurity, and probably always would. In a small, pleading voice, Sirius continued, "Don't you see? I miss Remus, too. In school, we- we were so happy. The last happy I can remember...."

"I knew." Snape said quietly, before continuing with a stronger, more challenging sneer designed over the months of Sirius' recovery to bring Sirius out of his stupor. "Which is why I find your proposition less than believable. You probably wish to humiliate me or accuse me of impropriety to gain Lupin's sympathies!"

"If I were looking for a last resort, you suspicious prat, I'd run into town and charm my way into some clubber's trousers!" Snape's ploy had worked as usual, and Sirius was looming over Snape now, using his height to intimidate the other man. "You have- well, a certain appeal!" Sirius' reddened face was not entirely due to anger as his mind provided a flash of Snape's arse, high and firm in black wool....

*****
"You only want me because you cannot have him!" Severus looked back through a window at the house, where Remus was so deep into plant research that he'd only spared a moment's glance when Severus had arrived - part of the reason the Potions master was in the garage, entertaining Black's mad overture.

"So? You can't have him either. We might as well take care of each other," Black said, getting back to his original argument and making another step into Severus' personal space, to which Severus did not give way.

"Fuck one another because we both wish to be with Lupin." It sounded absurd, but Severus' quick mind was already providing possibilities. If he were shagging Black, he would likely know immediately when the two men took up with one another again. It would also provide him with a release of tension he was not currently experiencing in fullness with the acquaintance of his own right hand. Most importantly, having a regular dalliance with Black would give Severus reason to visit more often. Proximity to Remus, a sort of friendship based on need for Wolfsbane and mutual interest in the Dark arts, was all Severus had ever dared hoped to achieve.

At least he could be sure of knowing the moment when any other hopes he might harbour would be well and fully crushed by Remus eventually taking up with Black again and Black, in turn, rejecting his company. Decades as a Death Eater and spy had made Severus nothing, if not a masochist.

Although he had come to a decision on his own, in the end Severus found he had very little choice in the matter as he stood taller and let his cock, hard since Black had first mentioned the possibility of sex, brush against Black's hip. Even after the ravages of Azkaban and years spent in formless limbo, Black's appeal had only been reduced from god-like beauty to the handsomeness of a relatively fit wizard approaching middle-age.

If only Black's kisses matched his chronological maturity rather than aped his animagus form's typical enthusiasm.

*****
Sirius could see the moment Snape had agreed written on his beaked face, although the hard jab against his hip is what motivated Sirius to lean down and cover the other man's mouth in a hurried kiss. It was wet and messy, but still the best damn feeling Sirius could remember having since forever.

As relief flooded through him, Sirius let Snape take over the kiss. The other man surged up and pushed, walking Sirius backward with their mouths still sealed together until Sirius' shoulders hit a solid surface. Then Sirius found himself plastered to the blue garage wall by a determined Snape using hands and mouth and his entire body to create sparks in Sirius' own awakening flesh.

As Snape pulled away from his lips and began placing slow, sucking kisses to the skin of his neck, Sirius had a moment to breathe and look down on the (all right, only slightly) greasy head ducked against him, giving pleasure freely now that a decision had been made. He thought that passion looked rather good on Severus Snape, and that Remus truly didn't know what he was missing, keeping the Potions master at bay over some misguided sense of propriety.

All Sirius wanted was a chance not to be thrown out when Remus made his choice. Moony had been watching them both, but Sirius doubted Remus would choose an emotionally stunted, previously feckless friend when he could claim the fiery, consistent former spy with whom he had mutual respect and interests. When Remus and Snape - (Severus, he decided, for the man's mouth was entirely too intimate with his nipples right now to continue keeping at a mental distance) - when Remus and Severus figured things out, Sirius only wanted to be ingratiated enough with both of them not to be asked to move out of the house.

The prospect of living alone, away from the only people he felt he knew anymore, was not one Sirius cared to entertain - ever.

*****
Sirius pushed Severus' head away from his cock gently, to let him know the act was not unappreciated, answering his raised eyebrow simply. "Inside, I think."

"You think? Si-" Severus' mouth would not let him fully form the word with any comfort, even if they were about to shag. "Black. Either you want it up the arse or not." He would have thought Sirius was finally springing a trap if it wasn't for the haunted look in the other man's eyes.

"Snape. I- I haven't- Not since before-" Severus' own eyes widened as his mind rapidly worked through the many ways he could approach a re-virginized Sirius Black.

"You think I have?" the Potions master snapped, even as his hand cupped Sirius' chin and caressed the stubbled skin of his jawline. "Just let me-" He skimmed his free hand down to his wand and banished Sirius' jeans and shoes, leaving him in a tight t-shirt and socks.

Sirius was grateful for the protection against the wall and dirty floor, and doubly so when he heard Severus whisper imperturbable and privacy charms directed toward the closed garage door. It would all go to hell in a half-woven handbasket if Remus found them. Someday, Sirius thought, it might not be so bad, even necessary, to be discovered, but not this first time.

Severus set aside his wand and proceeded to draw Sirius into another series of deep, clinging kisses. He'd always thought those full lips were wasted on slurs and hexes, and now Severus was proving himself right by slowing Sirius down and letting himself experience the incredible softness of the other man's mouth. He kept his hands running over Sirius' skin, sometimes grasping or massaging muscles and at other times tickling and lightly scritching the delicate flesh of the other man's inner wrist or too-prominent ribs.

Eventually, Sirius brought his own hands into play and grabbed handfuls of the arse he had been admiring for so long, pulling Severus flush against him and moaning his readiness for more. A moment's concentration dropped Severus' trousers and pants to the ground, and another thought cast lubrication and relaxation spells on Sirius. Severus tried to turn the other man around for further preparation with his hands, but Sirius resisted, instead pressing back against the wall and lifting his legs to wrap around Severus' back.

"If you can cast a weightless- I'd botch it right now." Sirius felt oddly comfortable offering Severus so much vulnerability. The Potions master had been patient and considerate, almost tender, so far, despite his gruff words. His body was hard and hot and Sirius found himself wanting to burrow into the warmth Severus provided. Remus was surprisingly far from Sirius' thoughts as Severus cast the charm and surged up into him.

They each hissed from the tight, slick heat - Severus trembling to hold back and Sirius breathing deeply to accept the sudden fullness for which he'd asked. Together, they began to move, Sirius' hands on Severus' shoulders to help guide and lend leverage to his lightened body. Sirius felt the buttons of Severus' shirt catching along his cock, but the pain was as much pleasure to a man who had felt little intensity for years upon end. Severus, for his part, strove to find Sirius' prostate with each thrust, not wanting to give the man cause for complaint afterward. He sucked what skin on Sirius' chest he could reach, shirt only rucked up part-way, tasting the salt of sweat and musk that was welcomingly male to Severus' starved palate.

For a time, Sirius was completely overwhelmed by sensations he hadn't felt in years. He ran his hands up his own chest, pulling the shirt up further to give Severus more skin, and forgot all about reciprocating, concentrating only on maintaining his sanity against the assault of his senses. He buried his fingers in Severus' sweaty hair and held the other man to him even as his head thumped into the wall at his back and lolled helplessly.

Severus enjoyed the scratch of fingers against his scalp, but his main concern was resisting the crushing grip of Sirius' body before the other man was satisfied. When Severus felt Sirius' hips canting forward for more friction, it was a relief to take the other man's cock in hand, knowing he could strive for his own pleasure now, and that Sirius' would follow naturally.

They muffled their cries of completion in each others' mouths, having forgotten a silencing charm, and even traded a few languid, post-coital kisses before their sweat cooled and the reality of who they each were and what they had just done fell in on them. Sirius set his legs on the ground and Severus slipped out of him and stepped away, removing the weightless charm and casting cleansing spells on them both. They dressed in silence and ended up staring, each unsure of what the other was thinking.

"Not bad, Snape." Sirius said at last, letting a slow grin spread across his face.

"You were adequate, I suppose, Black." Severus quirked the corner of his mouth, wry being the most friendly expression at his disposal.

"Think we might try that again someday soon?"

The sound of the wireless tuned in to classic Muggle rock floated into the garage, signaling Remus' transition from research to cooking and cleaning. Severus would be asked to stay to dinner, and Sirius would be bored silly listening him and Remus debating the latest application of flitterblooms in the Inflation Draught as put forth by Potions Weekly.

Severus turned to face Sirius again and gave a careless shrug of one shoulder. "We have nothing to lose by trying," he said as he reached out and tugged Sirius' shirt down before spinning in a swirl of robes, heading back toward the house where Remus and his careful indifference awaited.

Sirius watched Severus billow away and thought he had a fair chance of mucking it up for all three of them.


fin.


love, lore