Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: eeyore9990From: lilmisblackTitle:
Trust in times of warCharacters/Pairings:
Rough sex Word Count:
They were living in strange times, in the middle of a war, when every day could be their last, when no one could be trusted. Times when nothing made sense, and they had to take their release wherever they could find it.Author's Notes:
I don't know if this is what you had in mind when you sent the prompt, dear giftee, but I sure hope you like it : )
The air was cold and the rain unrelenting, but Sirius didn't care about that. Nor did he care that the lips against his skin were chapped, or the hand fumbling with his clothes was calloused. It didn't matter that the sharp edges of the stone wall were digging into his back, that the fingers threaded through his hair were pulling too hard, or the teeth against his neck were about to draw blood. In fact, it just made things better. In a time of war, when every day could be his last, when his life often depended on following orders, when no one could be trusted, this was the one thing that made sense to him.
He and Snape. As crazy as it seemed, it was also the one thing he understood. He knew why he was here, he knew who Snape was, what he could expect of him, knew he couldn't be trusted. There was no one else he could say the same of these days. Of course, he hated the bastard, he always had, but perhaps it was that hatred that made this all the more exciting, that allowed him to let go, just for a few moments.
It had been Dumbledore's idea, of course, like everything that happened in the Order. 'We have a spy amongst the Death Eaters,'
he had said. 'You will meet him whenever he contacts you, and pass the information along.'
Simple enough. Of course he hadn't told Sirius that the spy was Snape. Sometimes he wondered if perhaps Dumbledore had sent him to meet with Snape in hopes that he would kill the bastard and rid the world of another Death Eater, or if there simply hadn't been anyone else to ask. Not that it mattered any more, the job was his, and he was just thankful for the release he found in these meetings.
It was madness, he knew it, but he had needed something to get his mind off the reality of the war, and so had Snape. They both knew this meant nothing, they didn't trust one another, but that didn't really matter. Years of anger, of curses, and insults had somehow led to rushed gropes, quick wanks, and rough shags in dark alleys. They only met when there was important information to pass, and they never contacted each other for any other reason. They didn't talk about what they did, what it meant, or why it didn't stop. He wasn't even sure how it had started, who had made the first move, but it didn't really matter. It was just a shag.
It was hard to reason, hard to focus on the past as Snape pushed him back against the wall, pulled his pants down and got on his knees, and although a part of him wanted to look away, focus on the feeling and forget who was kneeling in front of him, another part wanted nothing but to watch Snape's lips stretched around his cock, watch those cold, black eyes as they analysed his every expression, measured his every reaction.
He tried not to hiss in pain at the feeling of teeth against his cock, tried not to curse when Snape's fingers closed a little too tightly around him, but what once would've been just pain now mingled with the pleasure, heightened it. He jerked his hips forward, wanting more, and Snape complied, taking him deeper into his mouth as he moved his free hand between Sirius' legs, pushing long fingers inside him, preparing him for his cock.
Before he knew it Snape was on his feet again, turning him around to face the wall and kicking his legs apart, burying his cock as deep inside him as it could go in one long, hard thrust. And now he did close his eyes, now he did forget who it was fucking him and focused on feeling it, on the way every thrust stretched him, on the bruising grip on his hips, on the hand pulling his head back and the lips and teeth on his neck.
Everything else was a blur, none of it mattered, not the war, not the Order or his friends, not even the rain or the cold. For a few minutes he was just a man again, like any other, enjoying the simple things in life, leaving the worries behind.
Then it was over, and he could almost feel the weight of duty falling on his shoulders again, and life was hard, complicated, and he was fighting a war, and he remembered what he was really there for. Information. Just another mission for the Order. Just a small step towards defeating Voldemort. Or a step closer to death, perhaps. On most days he didn't really care which.
"So, you brought me here for a reason, Snivellus, or just wanted me for my many charms?" he asked, taunting the other man even as he pulled his pants back up.
But instead of an angry retort Snape simply smiled, and Sirius knew whatever it was, he wouldn't like it.
"Know where your dear Lupin has been off to, as of late?"
"Fishing for information to pass along to your Master?"
"Hardly. I do know exactly where he has been going for the last few months. I can't say I'm surprised, you cannot expect much better from a werewolf, but I thought Dumbledore would like to know."
"Out with it, Snape."
"Tell the old fool he should be more careful who he lets into the Order. The werewolves have joined the Death Eaters. Your dear Lupin will soon be the Dark Lord's new lap dog."*-*-*-*
Remus was on his way back home when he noticed it. Neither the rain nor the wind, not even the other people around him, could mask the scent of Sirius. He knew it far too well. Usually he would just ignore it and go home, but Sirius had missed the Order meeting, and he had been acting strangely long enough for Remus to be curious, so he pretended to have forgotten something, said his goodbyes to the people with him and focused on tracking Sirius' scent.
Down one street and up another he followed, his senses heightened this close to the full moon, and it was just a few minutes before he found the dark alley. And Sirius. And Snape.
Anger like he had rarely known rooted him to the spot as his eyes took in the two figures rutting against the wall. The shadows hid him, but he was sure he could walk down the alley and neither man would notice him.
It was hard to believe what he was seeing, but he couldn't deny it either, and so he watched them simply because he couldn't look away. He watched them fuck, he watched them talk, he watched Snape Apparate away and Sirius straighten his clothes and start walking down the alley, and he stood there, frozen by anger, as Sirius walked closer and closer, until he finally saw him.
There was anger in Sirius' eyes, and that only ignited his own. Before Sirius could say a word he had his hand around his throat, had him pressed against the alley wall, his wand against Sirius' temple.
"What the fuck-" Sirius muttered, as he tried to pry Remus' fingers from his throat.
"Exactly," Remus growled, and a few sparks shot from the tip of his wand. "What the fuck."
"Let go of me, Moony."
"What the fuck were you doing, Sirius?"
"That's none of your business. Now let go."
He tightened his hand around Sirius' throat until he was gasping for breath. "What were you doing with Snape?" he asked, and loosened his hold just enough to let Sirius talk.
"What did it look like?" Sirius snarled, as he tried to push him away. But he wasn't strong enough, not this close to the full moon.
"Fucking Death Eaters, now, are we?"
"Why? You suddenly care?"
"So that's what this is about, then? I'm not enough, so you go find cock wherever you can? He's a bloody Death Eater."
"You're one to talk," Sirius said with a cold laugh. "You think I don't know what you do when you go on missions? Think I don't know what you and the other werewolves do to pass the time? I can smell them on you, in you. How many times did you come home reeking of sweat and come? You thought I wouldn't notice?"
"So that's what this is about? Some sick kind of payback?"
"Not everything is about you, Lupin."
"So what is it about?"
"I don't have to explain myself to you. Now get your bloody hands off me, you bloody traitor," he said, beginning to struggle again.
"Traitor?" he growled. "You are calling me a traitor? How long have you been fucking Snape? How many other Death Eaters have there been? You finally honoured your name, Black. Your mother would be so proud."
"Fuck you," Sirius said, and somehow managed to push him hard enough to make him stumble back.
"No, fuck you." In a rush of movement Remus launched forward again, grabbing Sirius' hair and pulling him closer for a moment, then shoving him hard enough to make him trip and fall down. He was on him in a second, pulling Sirius onto his hands and knees, pulling his head back enough so he could growl into his ear.
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he said, and with a flick of his wand Vanished their clothes. "That's all you want, all you care about. Just having some cock up your arse."
Remus moved back for a second, trying to find the right angle before thrusting into Sirius as hard and fast as he could, and was surprised to hear Sirius groan, to feel him tighten around his cock, to watch him push back for more. The anger was still there, in both of them, but somehow it was turning into something else, something that made no sense to him.
"This is what you were looking for, isn't it? Were you going to come home like this, climb into bed with his come still inside you? Were you hoping I'd notice? Hoping I'd know what you were doing, that I'd get angry, that I'd fuck you so hard you'd forget all about him? Is this what you wanted?"
"Why should I? It's the truth. You're nothing but a whore, you'd sell your friends just to get some cock."
"Friends?" Sirius asked with a groan. "Who are my friends any more? Prongs and Lily are in hiding, Wormtail's always away on some mission, and you're all but Voldemort's new pet."
"Not all werewolves are the same. Maybe I should take you to the pack and let them show you," he said, as he reached for Sirius' cock and began stroking it fast. "You'd like that, too, wouldn't you? Perhaps you'd finally get more cock than you can take."
"Can't be so bad if you're taking it all the time, can it?"
"You have no idea what you're saying," he groaned, and changed the angle of his thrust with practiced ease, finding the right spot inside Sirius and finally silencing him.
There were only grunts and moans after that, just the sounds of flesh hitting flesh, heavy breathing, gasped please for more. Suddenly the anger was gone, the fear, the worries, the pain, the cold. All that was left was pleasure, and his world was simple for the first time in many, many years.
He relished that feeling for as long as he could, tried to make it last forever, but then it ended, and reality came back, and when he closed his eyes he saw Sirius and Snape again, saw the man he had once trusted so completely betray him, betray his friends, betray the Order, and so he pushed away from Sirius, and scrambled for his wand, then Apparated away, to the place he had once thought of as home. He had been such a fool, he should've known better. The wizarding world was at war, and no one could be trusted any more.