Title: Feel Again
Author: kinky_kneazle
Characters/Pairings: Hermione/Millicent
Rating: Possibly on an R
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Harems
Other Warnings: Non-con and torture happening off-screen, but the effects are seen.
Word Count: 1000
Summary/Description: In the Harem Hermione finds herself leaning on a very unexpected person for support.
Author's Notes: Not what I intended to write this month but it’s what came out. Thanks to my darling for the super-quick beta.


Hermione woke not knowing where she was. But she did recognize the face leaning over hers. She scrambled back away, memories of headlocks and being turned into a cat coming to the fore.

"Shh... S'ok. S'ok."

Hermione wondered if she'd hit her head. Millicent Bulstrode wasn't the sort to make soothing noises and have soft hands that actually felt comforting.

"Where am I?"

"The Harem."

"Oh."

Hermione didn't need further explanation. Every Muggle-born still free had heard of Lord Voldemort's private collection of young and pretty witches and wizards. She'd always told Ron that she'd kill herself before ending up here, but that was before he'd taken a wrong step and ended up flat on his back in the forest, the green of the spell still reflected in his eyes.

She and Harry had decided to split up then. And she was the one who'd gotten caught.

Her distress must have shown on her face because Millicent started to reassure her.

"Just be thankful you're pretty enough for the Harem. There are worse places to be."

"Not if you’re a Pureblood." She was shocked by the bitterness in her voice.

"Ginny Weasley wouldn't agree with you. She was married off to Macnair. About to give birth to their first child." She looked off into the distance. "She has to live with that monster. At least His Snakeship usually leaves us alone."

"If he leaves us alone, why does he want us here?"

That question Millicent wouldn't answer, but Hermione learnt soon enough. She and the others were rewards for when his Deatheaters pleased him. After a visit from Lucius Malfoy it was Millicent who sponged the wounds clean and whispered the one wandless healing spell she knew - it couldn't wipe the full memory but it would take away the emotions.

Hermione was surprised at how quickly the Harem became routine. Sometimes other members would get chosen and never come back - some Deatheater had a little bit too much fun. Sometimes new prisoners would come in and she and Millicent would help them adjust to life as a slave.

Luna was there, but only for a night.

"Snape's been ordered to marry, and Luna's a Pureblood of the right age." Millicent got all the gossip from Draco every time he came to visit. "She's lucky. He prefers the company of men."

Hermione was surprised at how much change there was in the place. People moved in and out quickly. Millicent was the constant, the sun that the Harem orbited around.

“Why are you here?” Hermione asked one evening.

“You mean since I’m not pretty enough for the Harem?”

“That wasn’t – no. I mean because there seems to be a high turnover, if you will.”

“People are fun when they’re a little insane, when there’s still a little will to break. They stop being fun when they’re broken. I’m the rock that doesn’t break.”

But everyone breaks eventually, and when Bellatrix came to the Harem and asked for Millicent, Hermione saw fear in her eyes. When she came back her eyes were empty.

Hermione waited, but she didn’t come back.

Hermione guided her to the bed in the corner and healed her wounds. She spoke the spell to help Millicent forget but it didn’t bring life back to her eyes. For days she lay beside Millicent, holding her hand and trying to hide them both from sight whenever anyone entered.

Finally she begged. She couldn’t of anything else to do.

“I can’t do it alone.” Hermione didn’t know when it happened, but Millicent had become the solid ground that let her keep standing. “I need you. Come back to me.”

She woke to the feel of lips on her neck.

“Make me forget, Hermione. Make me feel alive.”

Hermione turned towards the voice and the lips were on hers. It was comfort, or an opportunity to heal. It was something and she didn’t want to think about it. Didn’t want to overanalyze and ruin it liked she’d ruined everything else. So she didn’t think and she opened her lips and she was kissing Millicent Bulstrode like her life depended on it. Like Millicent’s life depended on it, and maybe it did.

Hermione pressed a hand to Millicent’s breast, trying to forget the bruises that she’d healed only days before.

“Harder,” Millicent whispered.

“No. Gently. Lie back and let me take care of you.”

She lifted Millicent’s shirt and up and ran her fingers lightly over the tender skin. The other girl shivered, and Hermione did it again. She brushed a thumb over the dark nipple and watched as it tightened under her touch.

“More?”

Millicent nodded so Hermione pressed her mouth to first one breast then the other presses kisses to the places that had been bitten; trying to bring pleasure where there had been only pain.

“Please, Hermione. I want to forget.”

Hermione reached a hand between Millicent’s legs and was surprised to find her already wet.

“Forget like this?”

“Yes.” Millicent’s hand was on her wrist pushing it forward so that her fingers slipped into the damp heat. She held her hand still and let Millicent move against it, taking what she needed. She just concentrated on the soft whimpers coming from the other girl’s mouth and ignored the growing urge to move against something.

“I want to-“

“Want to what?”

“Feel again.”

Hermione lifted her head so that she could kiss Millicent again. She tangled their legs together, wrapped her free arm around Millicent’s shoulders and held her tight as Millicent moved.

“Gently,” she said again as she rubbed her thumb softly across Millicent’s clitoris. “Gently.”

But Millicent didn’t come back to life gently. She came with a hoarse shout that shook through her body and pierced Hermione’s heart.

Then came the sobbing tears and Hermione realized that she was crying too.

They held each other until the tears stopped. Millicent started to say something, started to say thank you, but Hermione stopped her with a kiss.

“We look after each other, Millicent. It’s how we survive.”