Originally posted April 3, 2007.

Title: A Tongue to Persuade
Author: celandineb
Characters: Remus/Sirius
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Rimming
Kinks chosen: Phobia
Word Count: ~2500
Summary: Sirius hated to be touched there.
Author's notes: My first post here – a big thank-you to the mods for the invitation! thrihyrne and verdenia were my gracious betas; any remaining errors and infelicities are, of course, my own. The title is from Edward Hyde, Earl of Clarendon, History of the Rebellion, Vol. iii, Book vii, Section 84: "He had a head to contrive, a tongue to persuade, and a hand to execute any mischief."


Sirius hated to be touched there. He always had, as far back as he could remember. He disliked it so much that he would have been reluctant even to wipe his arse after taking a crap, except that on the other hand he hated to feel dirty, so he did it anyway. He tried not to recall how it had felt to be checked on by the house-elves at his mother's orders, scrubbed with a too-rough cloth if he'd cleaned himself inadequately.

The dislike, so strong it amounted to a fear, was something he didn't like to admit to Remus, either. They had done quite a lot of experimenting together, one way and another. Till now it had always been with hands and mouths, but lately Remus had been suggesting that they go further. Sirius had been able to put him off for a while, but he could tell that Remus was beginning to feel hurt, wondering if Sirius was losing interest.

He wasn't, not at all. He loved the way Remus sucked him off, and was perfectly happy to reciprocate; loved it when they frotted against each other's hips or jerked each other to quivering orgasm, but he just couldn't bear the thought of enduring what Remus wanted to do to him. The thought of Remus putting his fingers or prick or, worst of all, his mouth anywhere near Sirius' arsehole made him want to run away and vomit, and he cut Remus off every time Remus started to suggest it. Touching Remus there sounded almost equally disgusting, though it didn't provoke quite the same level of revulsion.

Padfoot felt differently. As the dog, Sirius found he didn't mind when Moony sniffed at his tail, even licked him there. He always sniffed and licked Moony in return, savoring the rich complex smells, so much more intense than any human scent. But what Padfoot enjoyed was quite different from what Sirius could handle in his own human form.

Remus didn't seem to understand. They had a fight about it, one day. Remus accused Sirius of secretly hating the fact that he was gay, saying, "You don't think it counts, that's what it is. As long as no one's prick goes into anyone else's arsehole, you think it doesn't really mean we're having sex. You can tell yourself that we're only fooling around, or that it's just a phase, and that you'll meet some nice witch someday and put all this behind you. Put me behind you."

"No, that's not true," protested Sirius. "I don't want to be with anyone but you." Which wasn't entirely accurate; he'd had fantasies about other blokes on occasion and the odd bird, as well, but he didn't think those counted.

"Then please, try it just once, for me." Remus's eyes caught the light, gleaming gold. "Just your finger, if you won't fuck me, or let me fuck you. I really want this."

Sirius shook his head violently. "Moony, it's dirty. It's disgusting."

Remus' gaze didn't waver. "No, it's not," he said softly. "And it feels..." His expression went soft, distant. "It can feel amazingly good. Watch me. I'll show you."

"Watch you?" Sirius was incredulous. "Watch you do what?"

"Finger myself." Remus' voice was loaded with patience. "You don't have to touch me or anything, and I won't touch you. Just watch me and think about it, okay?"

With reluctance, Sirius nodded, and stretched out naked on the bed. He expected Remus to lie with his arse towards Sirius, and braced himself to be revolted, but instead Remus lay facing him.

"You could touch yourself," Remus whispered. "If you want."

"How about a little snogging, first?" asked Sirius. "Before you get into all this kinky stuff."

Remus chuckled. "Not very kinky, really. You've seen those magazines. You buy them. You've read the ads at the back. People do all kinds of kinkier stuff than this."

"Yeah, whatever," grumbled Sirius. He knew Remus was right, but that didn't make this any less odd to him. Why would any self-respecting bloke want to put his fingers or his prick inside another bloke's arse? If you wanted to do that, why not just fuck a bird's pussy instead? That wasn't dirty in the same way, even if it wasn't something Sirius was all that keen on. Birds were too demanding, too hard to figure out. Sirius much preferred messing about with his best mate.

He scooted over, running his hands along Remus' chest, careful not to put too much pressure on the fresher scars. Remus gave a little sigh and pressed his lips to Sirius' own.

Now, snogging Remus was great fun. Somehow he always knew just exactly how to lick and nip at Sirius' lips, his tongue searching out every spot that brought shivers to Sirius' spine. Sirius reciprocated, his prick coming to full attention as they rocked together. He felt Remus' answering hardness prodding into his thigh.

"Moony," he groaned, reaching for Remus' hand and trying to draw it down between their bodies.

"Later," said Remus in a harsh whisper. "After you watch me."

Sirius wanted nothing more than to just frot against Remus until they both came, but reluctantly he agreed, and let Remus move a little bit away.

"Tergeo." Remus was able to cast the cleaning charm without picking up his wand, and Sirius wondered how often he had practiced it. "I like this Muggle stuff, petroleum jelly, better than a lubricating spell," Remus explained as he pulled a little jar out from under the pillow. "It's nice and slippery." He dipped in not just one finger, but all of them, to Sirius' surprise.

"You're not putting your whole bloody hand in your arse?" he gasped.

Remus chuckled. "No, but it's easier this way to get enough on." He bent his knee, shifting a bit so that he could reach behind himself.

Sirius watched the way Remus' prick quivered and bounced, dark scarlet with blood against the pale scarred skin and sparse brown hair of his belly, trying not to think about exactly what Remus was doing. But he wasn't to be allowed to ignore it, for Remus kept talking.

"Ah... yeah." Remus sucked in his breath. "The trick is to go slow, you see. If you go too fast, it hurts, as you'd expect, but if you take your time..." Remus' eyes were half shut, his lips parted. There was a squelching sound, and Sirius realized that Remus must be moving his fingers -- just one? Or already more? -- in and out of his arse.

A shudder ran through Sirius, but horrified curiosity impelled him to ask, "How does it feel?"

"Bloody brilliant." Remus grinned. "There's a spot, it's a bit hard for me to reach it, the angle isn't good, but it's like nothing else." The grin grew wicked. "Feels even better than when you suck me off, Pads, and that's saying something."

Sirius felt as if he had been struck, and the hurt must have shown in his face, for Remus added, "It's not that I don't enjoy having you suck me off, Pads. It's a different kind of feeling."

Although he nodded, Sirius wasn't sure if he really believed what Remus said. He watched the flush rise in the skin on Remus' chest and dipped his fingers into the jar, reaching to touch Remus' prick with one hand, his own with the other. It might be disgusting to think about what Remus was doing, but somehow it had given him a raging hard-on nonetheless, and he groaned as he gripped himself. Remus moaned, too, as Sirius began to pump him.

"Fuck, Pads, that's so good," Remus babbled, shoving his hips forward and thrusting into Sirius' palm. "Only one thing could be better..."

"What?" The word tumbled unbidden from Sirius' lips. He didn't really want to ask; he was fairly certain of what Remus would say, and Remus' reply proved him right.

"To have you fuck me." Remus' eyes were dilated, his breathing ragged. Sirius knew he was close to coming. "That would be so bloody awesome. But I know, you don't want to do it."

"I can't," Sirius insisted. "Isn't what we do good enough?"

A curious expression flickered over Remus' face, but if he had been going to answer, he was forestalled; he came into Sirius' hand, the white spunk shooting out in pulses as Remus quivered and shook.

Remus looked sleepy and sated then, saying, "Made a bit of a mess, didn't I? Shall I clean us up?"

"You could lick me," said Sirius, grinning.

"Of course." Remus had stopped fingering his arse when he came, and now he slid down the rumpled sheets towards Sirius' cock, looking up at him. "Padfoot."

"What?" asked Sirius warily. He wasn't sure that he liked the glint in Remus' eye.

"I do know the proper cleaning spell," said Remus quietly. "I'd really like to taste you, as myself. It's not the same when I'm a wolf."

Sirius pretended to misunderstand. "Taste me? You've done that plenty of times."

"Don't be an arse, Sirius. You know what I mean."

Sirius bit his lip. Remus had clearly very much enjoyed how it felt to have his own fingers in his arse, and Sirius loved the way that Remus' tongue felt on his prick and bollocks. But oh Merlin, to be licked there... he wasn't sure he could stand it, the dirtiness of it. The very thought was making his erection wilt.

"If you hate it, I'll stop," whispered Remus in his most persuasive tones. "You saw how good it could feel."

"Yeah." Sirius had to admit that, but just because Remus liked it didn't mean that he, Sirius, would as well. "I... I guess you can. Since you really want to." His hole clenched tight at the very thought, and shamed revulsion swept through him. But he couldn't deny this to Remus, who so clearly needed it as a sign of Sirius' affection. It was gratifying, too, to see the way that Remus' face lit up, even if Sirius still couldn't understand how anyone could possibly want to do that.

"Roll over a bit," Remus said, and Sirius shifted to lie on one side, facing him, bending one knee to prop his leg up.

"I'll just clean you up first." Remus licked across Sirius' belly, lapping up the drops that clung there. His tongue swiped ran along Sirius' prick, which rose up to full hardness again despite Sirius' apprehension as to what would happen next. Remus had sucked Sirius' bollocks before, but this time his tongue kept moving further back, swiping over the skin behind as he held up Sirius' leg.

"Too awkward," Sirius heard Remus mutter. "I'm not going to be able to do it from this angle. Would you roll onto your back, and hold your knees up with your hands?"

"Okay." Sirius did as Remus asked, feeling horribly exposed.

Remus' tongue was warm and wet against the skin behind Sirius' balls. He licked and nuzzled, making little whining sounds as he did so, pausing at one point to say, "Fuck, Pads, you smell so good." Sirius would have snorted his doubt, but he was too busy enjoying the sensation. This was all right, this was familiar, and he was even beginning to relax.

At least, he was until Remus finally began to move lower. Sirius tensed. Surely, even with the cleaning spell Remus had cast, it must taste disgusting. And what if he passed gas? He wanted to shout, "No," to scramble away, but it was already too late. Remus' hands were on his arse, holding him open, and Remus' tongue was tracing tiny circles around his hole.

Sirius held still, every muscle tight. Remus stroked the back of his thigh.

"Come on, Pads. It's not that bad, is it?"

"No," Sirius forced out through gritted teeth. It wasn't bad, exactly, but immensely strange. He was trying not to let himself feel the revulsion that lurked, the sense of being watched, judged, disdained.

"So relax." Remus patted him again.

With an effort, Sirius attempted to distract himself by thinking of something else. He let go of his right knee and reached for his cock, stroking it, flicking his thumb over the damp head. That helped a little. Whatever was in his head, his prick wasn't objecting entirely to what Remus was doing. He could hear Remus murmur, making a pleased sound as his tongue passed over Sirius' skin. Slowly it slipped inside the puckered opening, and Sirius gasped. Every nerve there seemed to tingle; he couldn't ignore it any more.

He nearly whimpered when Remus paused long enough to say, "Do you like that, Pads?"

"Fuck," was all that Sirius could say. His hand on his cock speeded up unconsciously. "Moony..."

Remus' tongue worked its way a bit further in, wriggling and lapping at him. The combination of the unexpectedly pleasant sensation together with the heat of shame that he was allowing Remus to do this, that he was actually enjoying it, made Sirius rock back and forth, half wanting, half-afraid. Remus gripped his arse more tightly and plunged his tongue deeper, emitting a groan that vibrated against the tender flesh.

With a howl that he could not restrain, Sirius came, his cock feeling as if it would explode with the pleasure. One last slow lick, and Remus' tongue was dragging upward, swirling around Sirius' balls, along the length of his still-quivering prick, lapping up the stickiness splattered across his belly and chest.

"So?" Remus' face hovered above him, planting a kiss against his jaw, for which Sirius was grateful. The idea of kissing Remus' lips just now did not appeal, cleaning charm or no. Putting his arms around Remus, Sirius kissed his cheek awkwardly in return.

"It wasn't as bad as I expected," he admitted.

"Not as bad?" Remus snorted. "You came like a bloody fountain. Don't give me that 'not as bad'."

"Okay, okay. It felt good." Sirius scowled. "But I was still uncomfortable. I don't think I'd want to do it much."

Remus' warm eyes looked into his. "But now that you know it does feel good, do you think you might, sometime, be willing to fuck me?"

"I don't know." Sirius bit his lip. "It's not that I think I'd hurt you, and it's definitely not that I think what we have is less important, less real than it would be if I did. I just still feel like it's too dirty, somehow. But I'll think about it," he added, unable to bear the expression of soft disappointment on Remus' face. It hadn't been quite as disturbing as he had anticipated, after all.

"Thanks, Pads. I appreciate that." Remus pressed himself against Sirius, one arm draped loosely across his waist, his hand stroking Sirius' arse, thoughtfully away from his still-damp hole. "I wouldn't want anyone else to fuck me. I'll wait until you want it too."

Sirius hugged him back. "Yeah. If you do that to me a few more times, who knows? You might even convince me."