Author: arionrhod
Theme/kink: non-magic AU
Warnings: Adultery
Rating: R
Word Count: ~5,000
Compliant to: Nothing - is completely AU
Notes: With many, many thanks to scribbulus_ink and ellid for the beta and language checks!



Title: That Dare Not Speak Its Name
Pairing: Snape/Lupin
Summary: Two men - one a royal Duke, the other a learned Physician - find that the bond they share is more powerful than the strictures of their society could ever break.

"Severus! Severus! Answer, man! I go to battle not an hour hence, and I would speak with you!"

Duke Remus pounded on the door to his physician's chamber, his mailed glove clanking on the heavy oak. He was about to add a kick of a heavy, armored boot when the door opened, and he peered within the shadowed chamber, seeing the tall, lean form of his friend outlined against the light of scattered candles. Remus couldn't read the expression on Severus' face, but he could tell by the stiff set of the man's shoulders that he wasn't best pleased.

"What would you, my lord?" Severus asked, his deep voice containing a level of derision that no other man would have dared voice to the powerful Duke of South Umbria.

"I would that you let me enter, rather than bellowing in the hallway like a fishwife," Remus replied, unperturbed by Severus' demeanor. They had known each other far too long and far too well for Remus to take offense, and instead he smiled, letting Severus see the fatigue he kept well hidden from all others. "Please?"

For a moment, it seemed that Severus would refuse, slamming the door in the face of his liege lord and thereby offering an insult so grave as to be punishable by death. But after a brief hesitation, he nodded tersely, stepping back and allowing Remus to enter his personal sanctum.

Even though the chambers were part of Remus' castle, Remus had always considered them to belong to Severus and had given him leave to do as he would within his own domain. Remus himself did not enter them unless invited, despite his right to come and go as he pleased. It was a tribute, of a sort, to the debt he owed Severus and to the long history which stood between them.

A history which might, within the day, come to a bloody end.

Severus closed the door behind them, and then he turned and stood with his back to it, looking at Remus with those inscrutable black eyes. "What is it?" he asked. "Why seek me out now, when you haven't sought my counsel in days?"

Since your marriage. The words were unspoken, but hung between them in the air like a spectre. Remus sighed, moving to rake a hand through his greying hair and stopping only because of his thrice damned armor. Impatient, he peeled off his gloves, tossing them on a low table. "Do not think I haven't wished to see you, my old friend," he replied, letting Severus see the bone-deep weariness which threatened to overwhelm him. "Come, you know this arrangement was none of my doing. Believe me when I say I have no more liking for the chit than you do! She is half my age and as clumsy as a newborn colt. His Majesty..."

"Is a meddling whelp." If Severus' tone had been acerbic before, it was positively venomous now. "Were it not for the alternative, I would not mind seeing him dethroned."

"Hush!" Remus drew in a breath, shaking his head. "You must not say such things, my friend, not even here, lest you be charged with treason. These are uncertain times, and..." He trailed off, giving a pained sigh. "Not all trust you as I do, and there is jealousy of our friendship."

Severus shrugged, but Remus saw a flush rise in his friend's face, and he knew the cause. It had been there between them, unspoken, almost from the day they had met; an attraction, a forbidden longing that they had had to resist from drawing them down into a sin that would damn them both.

Remus knew Severus felt it, too, even though they had never even dared to speak of it. A sideways glance, a quick flick of tongue on lips, a move to touch hastily withdrawn - all these things had happened far too often for mere coincidence, especially when Remus felt it, too. Sometimes he thought he might drown in Severus' eyes when their gazes met in the dining hall or on those nights when they stayed up late, talking about philosophy and literature.

Many thought it odd that the Duke's closest friend and physician was the lowly son of a commoner and one rumored to be Unseelie as well. Severus' dark eyes and sallow skin echoed those of his mother and of his father no one knew anything at all; it had led to rumors that he had been born the spawn of a demon, his mother a witch. It was superstitious nonsense, of course, and Duke Albus, Remus' father, had forbidden anyone to harm either mother or child. It had been a wise decision, as it turned out, for young Severus had saved Remus, the Duke's third son, from a snake bite when they had been little more than children, and it had begun a friendship between the two introverted young men which had endured for nearly three decades now.

Duke Albus had encouraged the bond. Remus had been a quiet, bookish boy, much taken with running off outside the castle with a book so that he could read without his older brothers harassing him. It had been on one of these outings that he had been bitten by the snake, and young Severus had found him and sucked the poison from the wound. When Severus had been allowed the privilege of a visit to the castle in repayment for his heroic act, the boys had discovered a mutual love of learning. Remus had begged for Severus to be allowed to study with his own tutor, and Albus had granted the request. As a third son, with two strapping, healthy brothers, it had been assumed from an early age that Remus might go to the service of the Church or to a university, and so his literary bent had been indulged rather than discouraged, and Severus had been allowed to accompany him.

It hadn't always been easy between them, of course. Severus was a suspicious sort, and Remus' older brothers, James and Sirius, had disliked the dark boy from the moment they had met him. Remus had been given untold amounts of grief for befriending the "devil boy," and Remus had staunchly defended his friend, but it had still put a strain on his friendship with Severus from time to time. Yet somehow they had endured, always drawn back together by a force they could neither explain nor resist.

Remus had never expected to become Duke himself, but the duty had fallen to him through horrible mischance. James, his eldest brother, had married the King's daughter, then been killed two years later by the treacherous Duke Voldemort. His son, Harold, would have succeeded to the title, except that the boy had ascended to the throne instead. Sirius had then been Albus' heir, but he, too, had fallen to the upstart Voldemort in battle, and not long after Duke Albus had followed. This had left the title to Remus, and his now-teenage nephew, the King, had decreed the marriage which Remus had not wanted and which it was obvious Severus resented.

Now Remus stood on the eve of battle himself; Duke Voldemort had raised an army on the Continent and was storming through the land, conquering villages, raping and killing and destroying all that stood in his way. He was intent upon taking the throne, and Remus and the other nobles loyal to the King had staged a last, desperate stand here in Umbria, a battle whose outcome was uncertain. Remus might not live out this night, and that was what brought him here, to Severus' chamber, rather than the bed of his young wife.

Facing Severus now, Remus itched to reach out and touch him, an impulse he had felt more than once over the years. He didn't know why his dreams were haunted by dark hair and pale skin, or why his night-lover's lips were thin and hard instead of full and lush as a woman's. He could not speak of why the thought of dying made him feel so incomplete, as though his life had been building toward something that had never been realized.

"I..." he began, then stopped, the strictures of society and religion stilling the words he wished to speak. He also felt a flash of uncertainty. Had it only been wishful thinking on his part that Severus desired what he did, as wrong as it was? Perhaps he was reading too much into those looks, to the rising heat he often thought he saw in Severus' eyes. Did Severus resent Remus' bride for her place in Remus' life, or for her right to be in his bed?

Severus' eyes lifted, and their gazes locked. Remus fancied the air between them rippled, the way it did in the sun on a scorching hot day. "What?" Severus asked, his voice low and husky. "What brings you to me now, when you should be with her?"

I'm here because I wish you could be there in her place, in my bed beside me, your naked body pressed against mine and my name on your lips as I make you cry out in ecstasy. When I took her, as I had to do, it was you I longed for beneath me, not the woman given to me by King and Church. Only you...

Those dark eyes widened, and Remus realized with a start that he had done the unthinkable - he had spoken those dark, forbidden thoughts aloud. He could be killed for what he wanted to do with Severus, but suddenly, Remus no longer cared. He knew how he felt about Severus, and if he were going to die anyway, it might as well be with the knowledge that Severus would never have to wonder how Remus truly felt about him.

They stood staring at each other, both of them seeming frozen in place as though bewitched by some spell. The tension strung out, taut as a bowstring, and then finally, inevitably, snapped.

Remus wasn't certain which of them moved first, but suddenly, they were pressed together, arms wrapped around one another as lips met and tongues entwined in a kiss that spoke equally of desperation and need. They were much of a height, and their mouths fused together as though made for one another.

It wasn't like kissing a woman, Remus thought distantly with what portions of his mind were left to him. It was better - hot and exciting and tinged with the wicked appeal of the forbidden. But this wasn't just any man, this was Severus, the one for whom Remus had longed, and that was the best part of all, feeling Severus in his arms and knowing his desire was shared.

Severus tasted of spice and darkness, and Remus couldn't seem to get enough of him. He heard himself growling with desire, and he pushed Severus back against the hard door, hands fisting in Severus' black robes. He wanted more, so much more, and he was impatient to have it.

Pulling back from the kiss, he looked at Severus, amber eyes glittering with desire. "If you do not wish this, Severus, if you have no desire for me, then you must speak now," he ground out in a hoarse voice, his breath coming in harsh pants between his lips. "Else I am going to take you, with no care of any damnation on my soul for the having."

"Have me, then," Severus said, his voice low and husky. "I have been waiting far too long for you to move past your damned nobility and morality."

Those words were like kindling on the fire of Remus' desire, and he kissed Severus again, hard and deep, reveling in the wantonness of Severus' response. There were far too many clothes between them, including Remus' damned mailed hauberk, and he stepped back, stripping the heavy metal links over his head with a strength gifted by lust. Fortunately, he'd not donned any other armor than shirt and gloves before giving in to his desire to see Severus, leaving him clad only in his padded gambeson and trews. The heavy shirt joined his hauberk on the floor, and then Remus was pulling Severus to him again, kissing him with hunger even as his fingers fumbled on the toggles of Severus' robes. It was then that Remus realized that his hands were shaking; he was as desperate as any young man with his first lover, and it rather felt that way, too. This was a first, after all, and yet it had been such a long time in coming.

Severus' nails were scoring his back, and Remus arched into it, the pleasure mixed with pain arousing him in a way he could not have imagined. He was no virgin, but neither had he taken as many women as a man of his position often felt entitled. None of them had been aggressive, either, and Remus found he liked it more than he had ever thought possible.

Finally Severus' robes parted, falling to the floor unheeded, leaving Severus warm and bare in his arms. Remus couldn't help looking down, savoring the sight of the hard, lean body in his arms. Severus' skin was pale and perfect, something any woman would have envied, but there was no hint of feminine curves. Remus had seen plenty of nude men in his time, mostly his brothers and his knights, but none had ever held for him the fascination of Severus. He licked his lips as he let his darkest fantasies rise up in his mind, all the times he had dreamed of having Severus like this, hot and willing and ready.

Severus was looking at him, dark eyes glittering with lust, his cheeks flushed with desire. Remus kissed him again, this time with a surprising gentleness, before beginning to rain kisses over Severus' face. Then he moved down Severus' body, pressing his mouth to every inch of Severus' skin, eager and greedy to taste and feel all of him. He might die today in battle, but he would go to that death with the memory of Severus like this, with the taste of him on his lips and the scent of him clinging to his own body like the most alluring perfume. It was a death of which any knight would dream, to carry the memory of his love like this with him into the final battle.

The pale skin was as spicy as Severus' lips, and Remus' tongue rasped against it, earning a heartfelt moan from Severus' lips. That wonderful sound spurred him on, enticing him to suckle one of Severus' nipples between his lips, lapping at it with an eagerness that made him tremble. Nails bit into his back again as Severus arched against him, the moan becoming a hoarse cry.

Severus' hard length was pressed against Remus' hip, and though he felt a surprising eagerness to taste it as well, Remus wasn't yet ready to give up his exploration. He continued down Severus' body with slow deliberation, coaxing groans and gasps from Severus' throat. His tongue dragged along each bump of rib, investigating the hollow of Severus' navel, then lower still, hot breath rasping against Severus' skin as Remus finally dropped to his knees.

Looking up Severus' body, Remus caught those dark eyes which seemed to look through him, into the depths of his soul. Unashamed, Remus stared back, running his hands down Severus' body until they came to rest on the sharp jut of hip. Then, gazes still locked, Remus parted his lips, taking Severus into his mouth.

It was like nothing Remus had ever imagined, but it felt right, so very, very right. They watched each other as Remus moved his head, sliding his lips along Severus' length, drawing him deeper still, until Remus could take no more. Severus tasted salty and musky, the scent of him seeming to overwhelm Remus' senses, and then Remus pulled back before sliding forward again, feeling Severus trembling beneath his hands from both desire and the effort of holding still.

Remus had only heard about this pleasure before, never having experienced it for himself, but from the soft, needy noises Severus was making, it must be pleasurable indeed. Remus liked it, too, feeling his own arousal hard and aching, straining against the coarse linen trews. No doubt he was less experienced than the exotic odalisques of the Holy Land about whom he had read pleasuring their masters in this fashion, but it didn't matter; by this act, he made Severus more his, offering a forbidden gift to the one he loved above all others.

Severus was watching him, then he raised his hands, cupping Remus' head with an odd gentleness and holding him still. "As wondrous as this feels, I crave more," Severus murmured, his normally smooth voice deep and ragged. "I want you to have me, as you said. Now."

The words were almost enough to send Remus over the edge, and he drew in a harsh breath before rising to his feet once more, pressing his body against Severus', their skin warm and damp as it slid together. "I desire that as well," he rasped. "You cannot imagine how much I desire it."

A faint smile curved Severus' lips. "I believe I can."

Remus knew, at least theoretically, how to proceed, but still he hesitated, unsure of the best way to make it pleasurable for Severus. "There is a jar of salve on the table; it should suffice," Severus said softly and rather breathlessly as Remus nuzzled his neck. Lifting a brow, Remus looked at him, and a wicked smirk curved Severus' lips. "I am a physician, my lord; there is little involving the physick of the body which I have not seen in person or read of. We are not the first, nor the last men to want in this fashion, no matter what your Church might pronounce on the matter."

"You are a wise man, love," Remus whispered against Severus' lips, and then he forced himself to move away, but only long enough to snatch the jar Severus had pointed out, pulling off the top and dipping his fingers into the ointment, which was smooth as cream and smelled of lavender.

Severus had taken the opportunity to turn against the door, raising his arms above his head and presenting the smooth arch of his back to Remus. For a moment, Remus stood still, caught in the admiration of Severus' shoulders, the taper to his slender waist, and the swell of his taut arse. It was obvious even from behind that Severus was no woman, nor did Remus desire such. This was what he wanted, what he needed, and from the flush that stained Severus' pale skin and the sheen of sweat that made it gleam in the candlelight, Remus knew that Severus wanted it, too.

He moved behind Severus, fumbling open the ties of his trews one-handed, freeing himself from the confines. He pressed against Severus, rubbing against him suggestively, the friction enough to be arousing but not nearly satisfying enough to relieve him. Severus pushed back against him, glancing over his shoulder to fix Remus with a heated gaze. "Wouldst rather play than take, then?" he taunted lightly. "Come, Remus, I'll not break. Do as you wish, as we both wish."

Remus could no more have resisted that entreaty than he could have fought the need to breathe. "As you will, love," he murmured, taking a half-step back so that he could coat himself with the salve. It tingled slightly, an odd yet arousing sensation, and he groaned at the feeling as it brought him yet closer to the edge. He fought down the sensation, however, not wanting to end like some virgin boy, and he stepped close to Severus once more.

He placed one hand on Severus' hip, pushing forward slowly and carefully. It was a battle between his desire to take and claim and his more powerful urge to cherish Severus, to make it as pleasurable for him as possible. Yet Severus seemed eager, too, moaning as Remus brought them together, thrusting his own hips back to hasten their joining. Remus groaned in reply, and then he pushed forward more forcefully, and they both gasped at the sensation of their bodies entwined in the most intimate way two men could be.

Remus trembled. Severus felt perfect around him, tight and hot and so very, very good. Leaning forward, Remus brushed a kiss against the line of Severus' jaw. "Am I causing you any hurt?" he asked. "Tell me what you would have me do, Severus."

"Love me." Severus' eyes were narrowed to glittering slits, and he pushed back against Remus once more. "Set us both free."

At that, Remus began to move, setting a slow rhythm at first, one which quickened with each deep thrust. He moved his hand from Severus' hip to his arousal, the movement awkward at first but soon becoming a smooth, natural counterpoint. Their hearts were beating in unison; Remus could feel it as he pressed against Severus' back, their passion-damp skin sliding together, moans echoing on the stone walls of Severus' chamber.

It was exquisite. Remus had never experienced such a perfect joining, his heart entwined with Severus' as surely as their bodies. Pleasure coiled in a tight knot within him, and when Severus suddenly stiffened against him, his body shaking as he found his release, Remus gasped, then bit down hard on Severus' shoulder to muffle a scream of pure ecstasy as he spilled deep within Severus' body, reveling in the sound of his name torn from Severus' lips in a cry.

They stood together, trembling in the aftermath. Remus felt sated, slumping forward against Severus as he pressed kisses to the musky skin beneath his lips. He wrapped both arms around Severus, holding him tightly as their heartbeats slow and the world righted itself once more beneath them.

Remus wasn't certain how long they stood there, relishing this moment of complete perfection, but at last he sighed, stepping back and urging Severus around to face him. He smiled, his expression full of love as he reached out to cradle Severus' cheek. "If ever I made love before, it was but a pale shadow of this, and all others naught but a poor substitute for you," he murmured. Leaning forward, he pressed his forehead against Severus'. "I would for all the world that I was not the man that I am, that I had not the duty which I still must face. Would that if I were to die this day that it could be now, in your arms, so that I could go gladly with your name upon my lips!"

"You will not die," Severus said, his whisper harsh. His hands stroked Remus' back and then clutched at his hips as though to hold Remus in place forever. "This cannot be all that there is for us. I have no care for your title nor your fortune, and I owe no allegiance to this king. Give the word, and we will leave this place forever, the two of us. Where we go and what we do matters not; just come with me and live."

Severus' words were a siren song, one that Remus' heart longed to answer. But he could not; were he to go now and leave his king - his nephew - to die at the hands of Duke Voldemort, he would never be able to forgive himself. "You know I cannot, Severus, no matter how much I wish I could. I think you know it, too. Would you want me if I were not the man that I am? My title means less than nothing to me, you know this. It was not mine to begin with, and I hold it now only by the workings of chance. But my duty I cannot shirk, for it would mean I would be else than what I must."

A frown line formed between Severus' brows, but he sighed, the sound a grumbling huff between his lips. "Yes, I do know; you took this long to seek me out at last, and now you must go away again." His hands tightened on Remus' hips, the nails digging in. "Heed this, however, Remus of Umbria; come back to me, else I shall seek you out in the afterlife, and if hell is not your destination, I shall make you wish it had been!"

Remus laughed, a deep rumbling sound. "That is a terrible threat indeed, and I would avoid such a fate at any cost," he said. Then he sobered, pressing one hand to Severus' chest. "I must go now, though I have no wish to do so; just know that no matter where I go in this world or the one after, Severus, my heart is here with yours. It is the only thing I truly treasure, and I give it to you gladly."

Then he stepped back, fastening up his trews and reaching for his gambeson. Severus was silent, watching as Remus reassembled himself, becoming once again the Duke rather than the man, the lover. As he pulled on his armored gloves, Remus met Severus' eyes once more. "Anon, my love," he said, before pressing his lips against Severus' in a deep, hard kiss, one that was far too brief. Then he was gone, out the door before he lost his will to leave, before the demands of his heart drowned out the voice of duty and honor. It was the hardest thing Remus had ever done in his life; and yet, as his boots rang on the stone, sending him away from his love and closer to what might be his death, Remus carried his head high. He loved and was loved in return; in that way, he was a richer man than any king. No matter that his love was one that dare not speak its name, Remus knew it and would die, if he must, with but one word on his lips.

Severus.


~*~*~*~

The Battle of South Umbria was a bloody affair, one that went down in the pages of history as the most costly and brutal of the entire war. At the end of it, however, the forces of the young King Harry stood victorious on the blasted, barren heath, the armor of their fallen comrades and foes alike shining crimson beneath the azure sky. Many were the dead that day, many the grieving widows and orphaned children left to mourn, and yet it also ended the years of misery and dread of Duke Voldemort's vicious campaign, giving birth to a new era for the entire country.

Among the heroes of that day, one stood taller than the others, a surprise to all. Duke Remus had fought as though he had devils at his heels and angels watching over him, shocking all who had thought of him as naught but the quiet, bookish uncle to the king. It was speculated after that he did it for the love of his new young bride, having at last found the spur that all men needed to drive them beyond the feats of mere mortals and into the valiant deeds of legend. How appropriate, then, that the Duke survived the battle and the war and was able to return to his castle with his head held high and a smile of triumph on his lips.

Sadly, however, the Duke's wife died not quite nine months later in childbirth, delivering of a son whose face she did not live to see. The babe almost perished as well, but was saved by the skill of the Duke's friend and physician, who nursed the boy with a dedication that astonished many, given the man's rumored bent toward the unholy. Regardless of where his altruism originated, the boy lived and was named Severus by the Duke in honor of the man who had saved the life of both the father and the son.

Duke Remus never took another wife; most said it was because the mother of his son was the only woman he could ever love. The servants of the castle, however, weren't nearly so certain of that, for every time the linens of the Duke's bed were changed, there were always long, silken black hairs along with the Duke's own brown. Yet no one ever saw this mystery lover, and the loyal servants did not speak of it outside the walls of the castle, content to let the fairytale dedication of their liege lord to the mother of his son stand as the truth.

What certainly was true was that Duke Remus lived a extremely long and happy life, and by his side for the whole of it was his best friend and physician, one Severus Snape by name. So cherished and respected was the doctor that he was even accorded a place in the Duke's family tomb, where, side by side, Duke Remus and Severus Snape were content to lie for the rest of eternity.