Title: Absolutely Indecent
Author: r_grayjoy and eeyore9990
Characters: Sirius Black, Severus Snape (with cameos by Minerva McGonagall, Remus Lupin, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Alastor "Mad Eye" Moody)
Rating: R
Warnings: None
Themes/kinks chosen:Sacofricosis: The practice of cutting a hole in ones front trouser pocket for the purpose of masturbation.
Word Count: 2447
Summary: Sirius finds one way to entertain himself through Order meetings.

---

Sirius gets a visceral thrill from breaking rules, always has. There's just something about skating along the edge of getting caught that makes his blood race.

Not that he will get caught. No, not one person at this table would think to question whether anyone else was concentrating on anything other than the War.

Sirius is following along with the meeting. He's not going to risk any of the people at this table—well, except Snivellus—by being less than prepared for any eventuality. But his multi-tasking skills have always been extraordinary. Some might call them… magical.

Sirius looks attentively at Kingsley as he slides his hand into his pocket. There's only one wordless spell he's ever been able to perform with any success, not that anyone who knows him well would be surprised by that. After all, Sirius has been called a wanker by just about everyone of his acquaintance.

The hole opens up in his pocket, and he releases one wand only to reach through the hole with his thumb and forefinger and grasp the other. As he slides his fingers gently over his limp cock, he feels someone staring at him.

His pulse picks up as he shifts his gaze three people to the right of Kingsley and finds himself glaring straight into Snivellus' beady black eyes.

---

Severus sits in the crowded kitchen at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place and wishes he were virtually anywhere else. He doesn't know why Albus insists that he attend these irksome meetings rather than simply exchanging information with him directly. Not many of the Order members fully trust Severus and even fewer like him, and the feelings of antipathy tend to be mutual. The gatherings are boring at best, rankling and claustrophobic at worst.

So far, this evening's conference is tending toward the dull side of the spectrum, and for this Severus supposes he should be grateful. As he listens to Shacklebolt drone on about the state of affairs at the Ministry, he's careful to maintain an impassive expression.

Fighting a yawn, he turns his head and inadvertently locks eyes across the table with Sirius Black. The last thing Severus wants is undue attention from Black, but he also refuses to be the first to look away, so he holds his gaze steady.

---

Knowing he's being watched sends a flush of arousal through Sirius which disgusts him more than a little bit. This is Snape he's getting hard over, after all. Greasy, ugly git. Sirius strokes just that bit faster, his nostrils flaring slightly to compensate for the quicker breaths he's forced to take as his heart begins to race.

Fucking bastard is just sitting there watching him, watching Sirius as he wanks himself.

Sirius tosses his head but doesn't break their stubborn little eye-war. He's not going to be the first to blink, much less actually look away. Anger and lust fight for dominance as his fingers slip up and down his still-hardening shaft. He's going to end up chafed, but he doesn't care. Not that he could very well Summon some lube with Minerva McGonagall sitting so primly beside him.

The absurdity of the situation hits him then, and Sirius begins to smile. It takes him a second or two, but he eventually sees the brief flash of confusion followed by irritation in Snape's eyes at his smile.

His lips stretch even wider, just to annoy the great bat.

---

Severus expects Black to sneer at him and then look away in dismissal, or perhaps flash him a stealthy two-fingered salute so that Severus can roll his eyes and redirect his own attention elsewhere. That is, after all, usually the extent of the interaction either one cares to have with the other. He doesn't expect Black to have the attention span to enter into a full-fledged staring match. And he certainly doesn't expect the wretch to smile at him.

Although he doesn't understand the rules of the game, Severus still refuses to look away, and instead narrows his eyes as he attempts to comprehend just what in the blazes Black thinks he's playing at. Watching Black closely, he notices a slight quickening of breath, and faint flush to his cheek… a movement so slight that it creates only the barest of wrinkles in the shoulder of his robes, over and over again.

Severus can't stop his eyes from widening suddenly as he realises what Black is doing.

---

Sirius knows the instant Snape figures out what he's doing and has to swallow a breathless chuckle. It's absolutely delicious in the most devious way, especially as he knows that Snape won't look away until Sirius does.

Sirius slides down in his chair just the slightest bit, bumping Remus with his shoulder as he does so. He doesn't bother to apologise; Remus probably didn't expect one regardless. He does, however, up the stakes in his private game with Snape.

He bites his lower lip, allowing his forehead to wrinkle and his eyes to almost, but not quite, close. Releasing his lip from the brutal treatment of his teeth, he slowly runs his tongue across the groves left behind.

---

It's absolutely indecent, what Black is up to beneath the solid kitchen table. Severus has to resist the instinct to blush and glance away. Instead he fixes Black with an expression of stern disapproval of the sort that makes first-years tremble with fear and shame. Naturally it only seems to encourage Black.

Bored with Black's showing off, Severus is just about to roll his eyes and return his attention to Shacklebolt when Black makes a face that's well beyond lascivious and into the realm of obscene. As Black slips the moist tip of his tongue over his bottom lip, Severus can't help but follow the motion with his eyes, and, to his horror, he suddenly feels himself growing stiff beneath his robes in response.

---

The flush in Snape's cheeks sends a thrill of victory—and lust—through Sirius. He doesn't even attempt to stop the small smile from curving his lips as he lifts his hand from under the table and gives it a long, slow lick. He can barely bite back a telling chuckle as Snape's eyes flare and his cheeks darken even further.

As he lowers his hand back beneath the edge of the table, he stops once to just barely tweak his nipple through his shirt. His hard cock is pressing insistently against the front of his trousers as he returns his hand to his pocket. He uses the strength of his fingers to widen the hole enough for his whole hand to fit, then he brushes his fingers through the wiry curls at the base of it before slipping them up to push his foreskin back up over the head of his cock.

As he delicately pulls the thin skin to meet over his slit, Sirius can't stop a slight hiss of pleasure. He nearly chokes on his tongue when McGonagall asks him if everything is all right. Without removing his gaze from Snape, he says, "Perfect."

When he's sure McGonagall's attention is back on Kingsley, Sirius resumes his slow masturbation. He pulls his foreskin back, revealing the head of his cock again and runs the edge of one ragged fingernail over the sensitive tip.

---

Shameless. Black is shameless! It's clear that the vain prat is as turned on by being watched as he is by getting away with wanking quite literally under the entire Order's collective nose. He's putting on a show, for fuck's sake! Severus can only watch, helpless, as Black licks his hand lewdly and toys with a nipple, flaunting his deviance for anyone with eyes to see. Severus thinks that surely by now some of the others much have noticed what's happening only feet or inches from them, but he doesn't turn his attention from Black long enough to find out.

When Minerva's stern voice shoots through the haze, Severus jumps in his seat. For an instant it's as though he and Black are school boys once again, caught goading each other instead of paying attention in class. Surely the game is up, he thinks. But no; Minerva turns back to Kingsley and Black hasn't even broken his stride.

This would be the perfect opportunity for Severus to sneer at Black and stop giving him the attention he so obviously craves, but he doesn't. He can't say why. He just keeps watching Black's handsome, hated face and imagining what his cock looks like, stiff and red beneath the tabletop. Slowly, Severus moves his hand to press the heel of his palm down on his own twitching erection and bites the inside of his cheek.

---

Sirius doesn't miss the way Snape's robes shift with the movement of his arm. He wants to crow his triumph to the entire room, but his cock is throbbing just a bit too much to ignore. He stops teasing himself then and wraps his hand around his cock, squeezing it just right as he moves his hand—at the wrist only—and begins to truly wank himself. Everything up to this point has been foreplay; now the real seduction begins.

He slowly slides his hand along his shaft, twisting at the tip to run the small callous on the side of his thumb over his moist head before firmly and quickly drawing his hand down and up again. As he gives his twist this time, he drops his other hand into his lap, repeating the wordless magic to create a hole on this side, and gives his bollocks a loving fondle.

He feels Remus shift beside him but is too far into his wank to stop what he's doing. A sharply indrawn breath from his buttoned-up friend makes him smirk and lift one eyebrow at Snape. The way those thin lips twist makes his cock throb in his hand, and for a moment, Sirius forgets all about the long-time feud he's had with this man who's become inexplicably sexy in the space of five minutes.

The sound of the world screeching to a halt is overpowered by the rush of blood in Sirius' ears.

---

Severus can see everything that Black is doing. It's written clearly on every line of his face. It's right there in the way he swallows hard to keep from groaning aloud; in the slender veins that stand out on his throat from exertion; in the tiny trickle of sweat that runs down the side of his face as he struggles to keep his laboured breathing silent.

Severus knows because his own pulse is pounding along with Black's now and he, too, has to fight to remain quiet and still.

He's watching closely, so closely, and he sees the precise moment of Black's release. It's all he can do not to moan, long and loud, in Black's place. It's all he can do not to squeeze his leaking, neglected cock and come in his robes like an undisciplined third-year.

Instead he calls upon all of his willpower to grip the edge of his seat hard, clench his jaw, and wait to see what Black does next.

---

It's the best orgasm Sirius has had since… well, since before Azkaban, at any rate. He strokes himself slowly through the final twitches of his cock, then slides his hands out of his pockets. Taking up his wand, he directs a whispered cleaning charm on his clothing even as he feels Remus shaking with silent laughter beside him.

The good thing about Remus is that there's a fine sense of humour lurking under all that morality. You just have to dig deep to find it.

"That's all for tonight. Everyone have their assignments?"

Sirius looks up at the very final sounding tone in Kingsley's voice. Apparently, the meeting is at an end. Smirking slightly, Sirius pushes back from the table, nodding and smiling to those around him before a wild and mischievous thought enters his head. With an evil grin, he circles the table, ostensibly to speak with Kingsley, but just before he gets there, he stops and turns to Snape.

"Oi! Snivellus! Nearly forgot you were here tonight." Clapping Snape on the back in a rather friendly fashion, Sirius makes sure to wipe his hand just a bit before withdrawing it.

His right hand.

---

As the meeting abruptly draws to a close and everyone stands, Severus has never been so thankful for the concealing nature of his robes. He's still hard as iron beneath them. Scowling, he tries to make a swift exit, but finds himself boxed in by a group clustered around Kingsley on one side and Albus and Minerva on the other. He's just beginning to consider climbing over the table to make his escape when abruptly Black is there, congratulating himself on his absurd victory and smearing himself on Severus like a dog marking his territory. Then, just as quickly, and before Severus has a chance to respond properly, Black is gone again.

Later, when Severus is back in the safety of his own chambers, Black's words replay themselves in Severus' mind. "Indeed?" Severus asks the stillness of his rooms. "You seemed quite aware of my presence if you ask me, Black. Quite aware."

Late in the night, Severus' thoughts turn to future Order gatherings, and the ways in which he might pass the time more pleasurably. Black isn't the only one who can find ways to entertain himself, and Severus is far more subtle and creative. Perhaps he'll prove it to Black one day… Perhaps he'll prove it to Black and his simpering lapdog, Lupin, both.

---

Later that night, Alastor Moody sits in his one room flat, pushing his eye up and down in a glass of warm water, watching as it twirls this way and that. It had been bad enough having his eye stick in one spot while the entire Order was vulnerable in a meeting.

It had been worse when Sirius Black—who Alastor still isn't entirely certain didn't deserve to be back in Azkaban; there's just something shifty about that boy—had slipped his hands into and then through his pockets and started making motions that every man over the age of twelve would recognise.

When Molly had pitched her fit and banned him from cleaning his eye during meetings, Alastor had only put up a token resistance. It didn't do to ruffle Molly Prewett… Weasley's feathers.

But it seems entirely unfair that he couldn't perform a small bit of hygiene while Sirius Black wanked under the eyes of everyone and got off scot-free.

Entirely unfair, not to mention absolutely indecent.