Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Ron Weasley Discovers..., NC-17, fic 
20th May 2008 14:56
Title: Ron Weasley Discovers the Existence of Candy Coated Sparkly Come
Author: [info]eeyore9990
Characters: Ron Weasley, Gilderoy Lockhart
Rating: NC-17 (for themes)
Warnings: Non-con (because unconscious men cannot give consent), underage (WAY underage, Ron is 12/13)
Themes/kinks chosen: Fainting
Word Count: ~1300
Summary: Ron is left with Lockhart while Harry goes to rescue Ginny from the Chamber of Secrets.
Author's notes: A few, bolded bits in the beginning of the fic (mostly dialogue) are taken directly from the end of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. This fic is based on yesterday's art by [info]littleblackbow. Huge thanks to her for this collab!



"Obliviate!"

The wand exploded with the force of a small bomb.
Ron was flung backward, head knocking rather violently against the rough stone wall of the passageway even as a low rumbling noise turned into a fearsome crashing. Dust filled the air, causing him to gag on it.

Blinking through the grit that covered everything, even his face, Ron turned and looked for Harry.

Who was gone.

Panic grabbed him, choking off his breathing as he looked at the tonnes of rock filling the space Harry had been standing. Just as Ron was about to start screaming for his friend, he heard a very muffled voice coming from the other side of the wreckage.

"Ron? Are you okay? Ron!"

Relief flooded through him as he recognised Harry's voice. "I'm here! I'm okay," he shouted. Looking about, he saw Lockhart laying in a dead faint on the ground. Scowling heavily, he added, "This git's not, though—he got blasted by the wand—"

Fury at what Lockhart had attempted overwhelmed Ron, who chose that moment to aim a well-deserved kick at Lockhart's hip. Adrenaline coursing through him, Ron was unaware until that moment that he'd sprained his toes in the aftermath of the cave-in. As soon as they connected with the sharp bones of Lockhart's hip, however, he let out a pained, "Ow!"

Jumping around with his foot in one hand, he swore quietly through the pulses of pain until he felt safe to settle his foot back onto the uneven ground. This time he lashed out with the other foot… stubbing the good toes of his left foot on Lockhart's shin.

"Ow!"

With a huff, Ron walked over to the rock pile and climbed as high as he could before attempting to move the smallest debris. After nearly fifteen minutes, he had managed to clear enough rock and assorted rubble to nearly squeeze himself through. Unfortunately, everything else was stuck tight. Hoping that would be enough for Harry, who was smaller than him, to navigate, Ron settled back with a groan, curling his aching fingers into his palms.

Looking about, he tried to find something to distract himself. His eyes were drawn invariably to the only spot of colour in the place.

Lockhart's hair was spread around him, his poncy robes clinging to his lean body while his arms rested slightly akimbo. As Ron's gaze swept over Lockhart's limp form, he noticed the front of Lockhart's trousers were rather… lumpier… than normal. Eyes flaring wide, Ron scrambled down from the rock pile.

"Bloody bastard is hiding another wand?" he murmured to himself, startled at the roughened sound of his own voice.

Eyes locked on the bulge in Lockhart's trousers, Ron went to his knees between the man's spread legs and reached out; giving no thought to what he was doing, he untied the old-fashioned laces. What fell out, however, was not the hidden wand Ron expected. It was a wand of an entirely different sort altogether.

Ron's eyes grew wide as saucers as he watched Lockhart's newly-freed cock stretch and fill out as it became engorged with blood. Glancing up, he checked to make sure Lockhart wasn't awake before biting his lips and looking back at the now-erect cock.

"I can't believe he even has one," he muttered.

Rubbing his fingers against the palm of his hand for a long moment, Ron sat back on his haunches. Looking around, he scanned the area to just make absolutely certain there wasn't anyone else there. Stretching full length, he pulled back one of Lockhart's eyelids to check his pupils. Seeing only the whites of Lockhart's eyes, he shuddered and let go, watching with a grimace as the eyelid slowly slid back into place.

"Gross!"

Cutting his eyes around once more—especially to the hole he'd created for Harry and Ginny—Ron finally released a shaking breath and gave in to his rampant curiosity. Laying down between Lockhart's legs, he chewed on his bottom lip as he brought his hand down to poke and prod at the full-sized erection.

Idly wondering if his own cock would one day be this large, Ron tried to wrap his fingers around it and found they only met if he squeezed hard. As he did so, the cock leapt a bit and some liquid came out of the tip.

Ron had seen come before, but nothing like this! His own was rather watery and murky looking; what was emerging from the tip of Lockhart's prick was thick and golden. As Ron stared in fascination, a bit of light caught the liquid just right and it sparkled!

Releasing Lockhart's cock quickly, Ron pushed himself up onto his hands and knees to get a closer look at the tip, which was lying against Lockhart's belly now that Ron was no longer supporting it. From close up, Ron could see the individual sparkly flecks in the bead of moisture.

Face going slack in wonder, Ron propped himself on one arm and swiped up the drop with his free hand. Bringing it to his face, Ron sniffed delicately at his fingertip… and smelled vanilla. Blinking in shock, Ron tested the come with a quick lick and found it tasted as good as it smelled.

"Holy fuck!" he breathed, then glanced around again for his mum. He could never quite bring himself to issue any sort of profanity without feeling as if his mother was about to box his ears.

Shaking off the disquieting thought, he returned to his perusal of Lockhart's cock. A bit of the golden liquid was smeared over the purpled head, so Ron, unthinking, leaned forward and swiped his tongue through it. As if summoned by his tongue, more come bubbled up to explode deliciously across Ron's taste buds.

It tastes like pink Bertie Bott's beans! Ron thought excitedly, licking harder and faster. When no more of the flavourful liquid came out, Ron groaned and took a minute to think.

There was that time he'd overheard Charlie telling Bill about being sucked… perhaps if he— Not wasting any more time, Ron stretched his lips as wide as he could and began to suck the tip of Lockhart's cock. As he did, minute traces of come bathed his tongue, but not as much as he expected.

Letting go, he sat back, working his slightly aching jaw as he thought deeply. He could do what he did to himself when his cock got hard and achy. The thought of wanking Lockhart was nearly enough to put him off the idea… but the thought of the liquid candy that poured from Lockhart's cock had him reaching forward eagerly.

It didn't take much. Less than ten strokes of his head over the engorged flesh made it swell before, with one more squeeze, ropy spurts of sparkly golden come began to pulse from the tip.

Lips stretching into a grin, Ron leaned forward and began to lap it up, cleaning every bit of the liquid from Lockhart's pale flesh. Just as his tongue swiped the last lingering drop, Lockhart began to stir.

Quickly refastening to the laces of Lockhart's trousers, Ron scuttled across to the rock pile, snatching up his broken wand as he went.

No telling what the stupid git would do if he got his hands on it again.

Ron watched through narrowed eyes as Lockhart sat up groggily, his blue eyes slightly bleary as he glanced around before finding Ron.

"Hello there, young man. Who are you?" Frowning slightly, Lockhart shook his head and said, "More to the point, who am I?"

Ron crossed his arms over his chest and said, "Oh, right. Good one, Lockhart. Try again."

"Lockhart? What's that? And… you should clean your face. You've a bit of something on it. Glittery. It's quite pretty, actually."

Ron raised his hand to his face even as the reality of his situation began to slowly dawn on him. Just as the horror of Lockhart's mental state took hold, he heard Harry call to him.
Comments 
20th May 2008 14:25
I can't comment on the fic as I haven't read it yet, but I had to say - best. fic. title. evah. ;D
29th May 2008 21:58
LOL! *wins!*
20th May 2008 14:34
*brain sprained, no longer functional*
29th May 2008 21:59
*splints your brain and gives it a pair of crutches*
20th May 2008 14:56
*brain explodes*
Only Lockhart would have sparkly flavored come. Lucius may flavor his, but only Lockhart would figure out how to add glitter to the mix.
29th May 2008 22:00
HAhaha! OMG, seriously, yes. Exactly. When [info]littleblackbow was showing me her art, I lost it. And knew that, whatever else happened, this fic would be written! Hee
20th May 2008 14:56
Oh, not what I expected at all. I like the mixture of hotness and horror. Great job!
29th May 2008 22:02
LOL, thanks! I wasn't sure about it myself, but after [info]littleblackbow's art, I had to at least ATTEMPT it. And canon just screamed for some sparkly, candied come. *cough*
20th May 2008 15:52
*is dead*

That's just so wrong. And so funny. And so Lockhart.
29th May 2008 22:03
*g* Heee, yes, exactly. I am rather proud of this fic. *snicker* Even with all its wrongness. *dies*
20th May 2008 17:09
Sparkly and vanilla flavoured... oh my! So very Lockhart, indeed!

This line particularly made me laugh:

"Holy fuck!" he breathed, then glanced around again for his mum.

PurpleFluffyCat x
29th May 2008 22:06
LOL, it wouldn't surprise me to know Molly had a tracking device installed on her kids to alert her when they did something "wrong." *laughs* Oh...

*hides face in hands*

I've just had the thought that that's what she uses for a vibrator. OMG. Fic. idea. in. head. Make. it. stop.
20th May 2008 17:58
You...I can't even. Oh my god. I love you so much right now.
29th May 2008 22:08
Hee! LOL, don't give me credit. It was totally [info]littleblackbow's idea. *points at evil artist* She made me write it. There was like, a gun... and stuff. o_O

omg, I had way too much fun writing this. I should get my Bullet Train tickets to hell any day now.
20th May 2008 20:25
*high fives*

YAY!!! WE WIN A PLACE IN DISTURbINGPORNLAND!!

:D

Awesome. Even better than I'd imagined. We gotta do this again sometime.
29th May 2008 22:11
Oh, hell yes we do! *high fives you*
20th May 2008 21:25
I know I should be squicked by the chan, but this is fantastic. You keep outdoing yourself with the outlandish, fun stuff. Your imagination is a scary, scary place, Eey.

Did I mention I love the art/fic combo?
29th May 2008 22:18
OMG, seriously, I was worried about the chan until my brain nudged me and said, "You realise he's blowing an unconscious, mentally challenged man, right?" And then the chan just didn't seem that bad.

*face palm* My imagination is going to get me thrown in jail one day.

And dude, the collabing part was freaking AWESOME! [info]littleblackbow is so talented and she's just as twisted as I am! *so proud*
20th May 2008 22:15
HAHAHA, WOW. I shouldn't love this ... but I do anyway.
29th May 2008 22:20
I know. I kept thinking while looking at [info]littleblackbow's art (we sort of collab'd this month) that I should be weirded out at how gleeful I was over it. Only, there was just glee. Hee! And then I got to write tribute!fic!

*twirls*

I seriously LOVE fandom. It's the only place I get to let loose like this, heh.
21st May 2008 11:43
*Brain melts* Vanilla flavoured come *LOL*
29th May 2008 22:21
With sparkles!! You can only have vanilla flavoured, sparkly golden come in HP fandom. *glee*
22nd May 2008 10:09
LOL My goodness. This is so wrong but I really loved it. What an imagination. Hahaha
29th May 2008 22:22
LOL! It really is wrong, isn't it? Hee! Thanks!
23rd May 2008 08:33
*sparkles* This is the best thing ever. *_____*
29th May 2008 22:23
I thought for a minute about posting the whole thing in that sparkle text... but decided that would be rather annoying to read through, lol. I had so much fun with this. [info]littleblackbow is awesome for doing the art!
30th May 2008 08:37
That is so much fun. *hands you a prize for the silliest, most wrong fic in history* :D Vanilla flavoured! Sparkly! *dies*
20th June 2008 22:49
*drools*
So that's what it tastes like!
I love how Ron is such a little kid with it.
Only a kid would suck all the 'good stuff' out of the 'lolipop.'
haha. *falls to the floor*
1st February 2009 10:43 - Ron Weasley Discovers the Existence of Candy Coated Sparkly Come
LOL - You are wonderfully mental. Too bad Harry came back, perhaps Ron could show the loopy Lockhart how he got the sparkly stuff :)

Great art and fic!
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