[Unfortunately, there is only so much experience and imagination can do with a general wish like this, but the cupid does his best.
Each of Joey’s sisters get a very sweet gift basket. The baskets are white. Because all valentines should have certain things, each basket has a traditional box of (cheap but serviceable) chocolates and a (small but soft) white cuddly bear holding a polyester heart. He forgets to take the tags off these, which are from a DC drugstore chain and were picked up by hand.
There is a box of pastel conversation hearts, but each heart has a strange label: MIND, BODY, and SOUL. The “mind” candies simply bring up a mental environment of a zen garden. It’s a very sweet but horribly cliche zen garden: there are stone paths, a round wood bridge over a burbling brook, meditation bells go “bing” and wind rustles through cherry blossoms. The “body” candies make a woman strong. Really
strong. Wonder Woman strong. Let’s lift a car strong. (Sadly, this is what we equate to ‘healthy,’ and unfortunately they taste like cough drops.) The “soul” candies don’t do anything at all… but the placebo effect is undoubtedly very beneficial.
The basket also contains a booklet to all nearby AA
groups, and a list of personal ads taken from a local newspaper and match.com that have distilled all available singles into age categories suitable to the request
. The latter is the size and weight of a phone book.
Also there is a very sweet card with a puppy on it that says “Happy Valentine’s Day! Love, Joey and his Cupid XOXOXO”]