Hey there, Atlantis. Now that I'm all settled down, I thought I'd let you know what kind of dynamite I'm in charge of. Field agents get a discount 'cause you're saving the world and whatever. Civies get to scrounge up the dough; I ain't running a charity. Goes without saying that I can't sell to shrimps, not because kids can't learn about explosives but because your idea of an allowance makes me har-har. Get it together and come see me when you're eighteen, have a real job, and aren't broke like a hightown mare.
Now then. My babies:
- Lovers' Quarrel: A petite dynamite designed to make sure your mate's paying attention to you. Blows up purple or pink smoke, your request. Don't put it nowhere that'll hurt.
- A Kiss on the Cheek: Mild pop of noise to wake a body up. Good for distraction in the event that you're not looking to get anyone killed (boooooooo).
- Two Hits and a Miss: Two loud and powerful blasts followed by a smoke bomb - pink, purple, red, and if I can get the pigment, ice-blue. This one's meant to cause some chaos, but I wouldn't recommend it unless you've got super soldiers or Asgardian types that can shrug off some flying boulders.
- Lead A Horse to Water: Little pop-pop-pops that function as a good "what's that" before you swoop in. Takes a while to set up so only invest if you've got the sneaky-types and the time.
- Big Baby Doll: Are you mad? Is the time for conversation over? Do you need to blow something the FUCK UP? Well now, meet my Big Baby Doll. She's my biggest, baddest, nastiest bomb I'm allowed to produce here on Boring Island. She explodes in a puff of red smoke and damn if she doesn't make a smoke cloud in the shape of a heart. She's my calling card, and she'll do you right if you treat her right.
Standard disclaimer: Ain't my fault if you buy my wares and blow yourself up. They regulate this shit up air tight and while I'm fine with idiots getting what's coming to them, you're gonna have yourself a Real Problem if you mess with my reputation. Y'all have a nice day now, you hear?
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