NO EXITS

The voices Malkavian network has been screaming at me for the past couple of weeks. Actually, no - it started with a whisper.

I may have ratted out a murderer, but a Prince will die at the hand of another murderer, and that's when things get messy. Power vacuums, vampires making a grab for the primo spot and just getting rid of - you know. Trouble, like a Malkavian prophet who doesn't stay in one spot for too long, and keeps certain Sabbat friends in uh, low places. Who's going to believe or put their faith in a Malkavian who's got a screw loose?

Anyway. That was a little long-winded, but I'll be sticking around these parts.

But I'll miss you all. You guys were awesome.

I need new clothes (read: clothes that are me, not from a fantasy world or a city where I decide polos are pretty dang great.) and I need them, again, to be me. For reference, I am currently wearing an orange fishnet tank with a furry coat that looks like I've skinned the cookie monster. And leather pants.

Help me find stuff. This is an invitation for you to join me as soon as it gets dark.

Oh my god. It worked. You're back.

Are you alright? Does anyone need medical attention?

Just stay where you are. We'll need to get a head count, make sure everything is okay. If you could just stay on campus. Please?

Shopping list next time we land somewhere halfway civilized.

And go.

(No, this isn't me offering to collect everything. This is me encouraging everyone to help each other out. Almost like we're forming into some kind of community or something.)

Inspired by Margo's FMK, some of us were tossing out the idea of Derleth bingo - a list of things/challenges to do here. If anyone wants to help us come up with a list, we're meeting at lunch tomorrow. (Or drop your suggestions below)


Also, we've got a few more days here and since we don't know what next week will bring, I thought I'd take requests for meals. (And let you know what I have planned so far.)

Day 5 dinner: Chili bar - meat and vegetarian options available.
Day 6 dinner: ratatouille & lasagna
Day 7 ?

I was thinking maybe an omelette bar for breakfast one of these days? I'd do waffles, but I haven't found a waffle iron yet. Could also do pancakes again. Or crepes.

[YENNEFER]

Hey.

[LOKI]

Where did you end up this week? Void or zombie apocalypse?

[ETA: CARVER + MAL]

Either of you have plans tonight?

This week's a huge deviation from the norm in some aspects.

» For most of us, it seems, we're in a world that I'm assuming has been decimated by a zombie apocalypse. We have no water or electricity. The kitchens and clinic have been raided. Even the theater's been picked over for clothing. We are not on the usual Derleth campus. The Green is an overgrown lawn, and the rest of Derleth spreads out from these buildings. Reminiscent of a few other alternate Derleths with full campuses.

» For some, they are on our "normal" campus in the void.

» We can communicate between the two through the network, but that seems to be it at the moment. I would recommend being prepared in case Derleth throws a trick at us and spits one campus into the other, with bonus zombies. It may not happen, but we also haven't had split Derleth's like this so I would be prepared for anything. UPDATE: The TVs on the void campus are showing those of us in the zombie world.

» Butler Hall has returned to what it was when I first arrived: regular dormitories, two people to a room. This could be because we're not on our usual campus. Has anyone tested the wards on the rooms? They weren't working last week. UPDATE: THEY ARE DOWN.

» The zombies, or undead, are shambling so they're slow, but we don't know the layout of this area, so I wouldn't suggest going anywhere alone. You could easily get backed into a corner with a whole bunch of zombies. Most zombie lore says they like to eat human flesh. Need to assess the zombies more.

» Magic appears to be on the fritz. So so super powers for some. If you're experiencing this, please let me know.

» One of the Lokis has been missing since the night of the reset. He was not among our people who turned to stone and didn't return from the ball.

I'm asking you all to please not go outside alone, and do not go without some kind of weaponry. Make the least amount of noise you can, and check in with people often.

I've been updating the list of non-fighting skills. Please let me know if there's anything you want to add.

I'm usually one to keep my head down and try to avoid being noticed but...well, I'll admit that I'm entirely out of my league here.

After an hour disassociating from everything I've ever thought possible and browsing this network to get an idea of what is going on, I've managed to...get on board(?) with the circumstances and am assured that I am not, in fact, losing my fucking mind.

My name is Agathon, I'm from New York City. I'm not entirely sure how I might be able to help but, if I can, I will.

Okay, so. Looks like sometime in the past on Earth. Los Angeles even. Well, could be worse.

Anyone found anything different going on? Or are we just in Maltese Falcon this week?

YELENA BELOVA:

Talk to me. How are you doing?

Anyone got a match? Or two?

Derleth, please. Please. Please.

Why am I cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner? The last thing I ever cooked - and I mean that in the loosest sense of the word - as a human was a grilled cheese that I doused with whiskey and set on fire.

And I ate it.

holy shit

this piece of shit actually works

sorta

ama until this phone kicks it

I'm sorry, I take it back. I don't want my normal clothes. I just

Why is it so imposs

Can we JUST GET OUT OF HERE

So hey, who wants to sneak into Broadway places with me?

[Those who remember]
I knew we were hiding from something bigger but I didn't realise we escaped so recently. It's going to make it hard to explain to Eleven where any survival skills I've learned come from when we're both supposed to be as inexperienced as each other. It would be helpful if I remembered more about this place. It's hard to pick all the bits out of my real life.

[Eleven]
Did you see the posters?

My old upstairs neighbors are using what sounds like a jackhammer again, and ah, the shrill sounds of kids watching cartoons on a Sunday. It feels like home.

I was late for work, which means I have a job. I was also accosted by the lady of the blood bank who was mildly worried I hadn't bought any blood from her as of yet. And after work, I was approached by certain individuals who are very familiar to me.

I guess nobody killed my Sire. So.

PEACEMAKER

You okay, dude?

player note: this is a voice post with a duration of around 3-ish minutes, give or take several pauses as Mal deals with his sudden burst of visions. Per mod permission, plot hints are included. If there are sentences that apply to your character, it's a coincidence, because this was 99% randomized. TLDR - It's a Mal/K thing.

The black lipstick was very chalky. I'm sick of online dating. This glass is breakable. My pet turtle, Jim, got out of his cage and I can't find him anywhere. Get your act together! There a lot of spiders. Just a lot of spiders, man. Are these shoes too big for you? Look at the blackboard! Here he comes to save the day! I’ll do it right away. I feel bad for telling him to wait. I want to eat. That was a stroke of luck. You can’t know what she is feeling. I'm being stalked, but it's not like I can eat him. They'll show you the way home when you’re drunk. Those apples are very red. I can't tell you who's on the list because I haven't seen it yet. Her parents bought her a bunny, and then she realized she was allergic to it. You should never lie. He was in desperate need of a Christmas miracle. She had a dice with over twenty sides. I want a diagram of all Tom's relatives. Stand up straight! Don't go there! Don't let it get wet!

Hang on, my kittens are scratching at the bathtub and they'll upset by the lack of biscuits.

The lake is a long way from here. Chocolate covered crickets were his favorite snack. I often see the time 11:11 or 12:34 on clocks. Garlic ice-cream is her favorite. Two more days and all his problems would be solved. They decided to plant an orchard of cotton candy. Don't put peanut butter on the dog's nose. I get cake? You get cake? But I get cake too? There's a growing trend among teenagers of using frisbees as go-cart wheels. Sarah ran from the serial killer holding a jug of milk. She did her best to help him. Fluffy pink unicorns are a popular status symbol among macho men. Purple is the best city in the forest. He learned the important lesson that a picnic at the beach on a windy day is a bad idea. When he encountered maize for the first time, he thought it incredibly corny. Of course, she loves her pink bunny slippers.

Okay. OKAY. OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

Some of you know I can see some variations of the future. And this goes down a touch easier when I'm on solid ground and not on a dinosaur bird high up in the sky - don't take that as idea and fall because it will make a little human-sized crater and then you will drink dinosaur blood and it's - IT WAS FINE IF A BIT THICK -

But we need to have dinner. Together. All of us. This might be the first and last week we get to dine on organic dinosaur steaks and fermented berries. Together, I mean.

Is it Friday yet? I'm so over this bullshit island I'm tempted to go into torpor. Too bad this giant kangaroo doesn't have a pouch big enough for me to crawl into until reset.

Why didn't I go for a daylight r I hate this place.

I have good news? That only pertains to me, but it's still good news.

I don't have the energy to explain. Nope, I'm going to suck it up.I might have picked up a ring that blocks telepathic signals. I'm not sure it's going to stand up towards - all Malkavians that have or will ever exist, but there's a chance? And shhhh. Don't tell anyone.

[CARVER]
You know, don't you? About Julia?

[ELIOT]
What'cha doing?

I know we're all prepping to go on an adventure with our new bodies and powers, but let's talk gatherings and parties while it's still quiet in my head.

The other Derleth was - hurting and fractured, and I'm not keen on seeing us go that route. During quiet weeks, we should probably go out of our way to gather at least once a week.

One | I think Hugh is interested in using the theater to its fullest.
Two | Our resident angel probably wants to go the gourmet route.
Three | I liked our board game night. Is that something we want to repeat?
Four | Fashion runway. We walk the catwalk in our best new clothes.
Five | This is where your suggestions come in.

I haven't had solid food since ooh, 1963. I will take suggestions, because my stomach is growling.

We still have food, right?

[FILTERED AWAY FROM -16]

I've had the misfortune to meet other my self. That's fancy words for 'we telepathically told each other where to meet, which we did and now I'm really glad I didn't get eaten'.

But we managed to play nice for long enough to figure what exactly the divergence is between the two of us is, and it's - ugh, why are Kindred like this?

Stay away from him, please.

Okay, Kaiju is down.

Remember what we talked about. Keep it friendly. The longer they take pity on us, the easier it's going to be to tag all of them. We don't know if we're going to be equally matched or outgunned so lets find out as much as we can about this other Derleth first.

Anyone who doesn't think they can keep their shit together can lay low and go last. Do not fuck this up. It was a one in a million shot finding them so lets make this count.

Questions?

I don't really know what kind of family-bonding and heartwarming shindig to throw when it's colder than a brass toilet seat in the Yukon out there. Maybe our illustrious angel has an idea, but this week, I'm officially admitting defeat. Maybe if it starts to rain marshmallows, we can find a bunch of twigs, and make a fire with frozen logs?

( Filtered to friends, warnings for mental health )

If you're injured wishes and words sprout still haven't seen a medical everyone should be in bed What was I talking about? professional, lollies

If you've been injured, and haven't seen a medical professional yet, we have lollipops. Come see us, have a friend bring you, or call us over. I'm the one in the furry blue coat.

But you were all bad-asses today. Great job.

If anyone has some daywalker magic hidden away, I really want to make a snow angel during daylight hours. It's really no fun in the freezing cold.

[SEPARATE FILTERS TO ELIOT & JULIA]

I'm not going to ask if you're alright. What can I do?

Is it I hope you all had fun at the potluck-game night. If we should we do it again, or just have a Christmas hau SUNDAY Sunday dinner every week, chime in below.

But isn't it a little too hot in here?

I was just with Geralt and Yennefer. It was night time, I blinked, and now it's this. This building and this device. I know what the letter. I know what Julia says but —

I didn't do this. This shouldn't be possible. I want to go back. I need to go back. They need I NEED THEM Geralt will tear the world apart looking for me, and Yennefer was teaching me how to — I NEED TO GO BACK.

Can someone please help me? Who's that michael fork?

( Time to let your hair down )

Since everyone is already offensively annoying and angsty this week, let's place bets on where we're going to be next week. Anyone who says there will be singing is immediately disqualified.

Also, winged or smoky? Asking for a friend.

I'm pretty sure a balanced diet it supposed to include like, vegetables and meat as well as carbs and fruit - and this is even questionably fruit because its so covered in sugar.

At any rate, as good as (what tastes uncannily like my mother's baking) pastries are I will happily trade some for anything with a non-sweet flavor profile.

... Or frankly anything alcoholic.

Kindred existence is kind of like being on the night shift. Important Kindred can only be reached at night. The blood banks only open the doors for you at night. I think I was going somewhere with this.

Oh right. I forgot to close my curtains. Woke up to the room bathed in sunlight. And then I remembered it's fake, but it's not always. Just this week, right?

[ALLISON]

Would you like to help me with sourcing board games around campus? I think a night of games in the cafeteria would do a lot of people some good.

Hello, I am Baymax, your personal healthcare companion.

Has anyone else noticed the change in decoration? It appears quite comforting. There is a portrait of Tadashi Hamada in my room. It is very nice.

If anyone is in need of medical assistance, I will be in the clinic. There will also be hugs and lollipops available.

Now that we've finally left the unholy culmination of Rodgers and Hammerstein's fever dreams, I have a question.

Am I still married? Does the marriage bond break as soon as you're whisked away from the pocket universe wherein you were married, without nary a hope of returning to your whipped cream cake of a wife? Will there be a heavenly or demonic power that forces me to stay true to a sham marriage you only agreed to because well, bullets and shovels are painful?

And no matter how I loathe to admit it, but I just stared at my shower, sighed and went back to bed. This is technology gone wrong.

Do any of these people do their jobs or are they just montages in which is seems like they're doing their jobs? Where is this music coming from? How does everyone know the lyrics? Is there a central consciousness controlling them? I'm not getting any radio signal readings, except at the telegraph station, and that's just along the lines there. Where do they get their food shipments from? Every time I cross a bridge to leave the town, I end up facing the town.

I'm starting to understand why Sister Six followed the cult of Central Isopter. Staring down death has got to be better than singing about ham and crickets.

Well, thus far this is easily my favorite week. Multiple dance numbers per day is my favorite type of workout.

[Rey]

They had some delicious looking cinnamon rolls at the cafe and I brought some back for you. They're on the table next to the door.

SOMETHING'S HAPPENED TO BAYMAX! He wanted to scan me for medical purposes, but after he did he got all wobblily and silly sounding, then TURNED INTO A SUITCASE! I don't know what to do!!

Oh. Wait. Never mind. He's back to normal again.