NO EXITS

Well. Can't say I'm not relieved to be going back home. I never believed there's be a world crazier than mine but I'm ready to go back to the kind of crazy I can somewhat comprehend.

Hell of a few weeks, though. You're all insane, and my kind of people with one or two exceptions.

[Clint]

Hey Bouncy, you goin' home too? If you are can I swap something for more of those exploding arrowheads? They'd be a riot back home.

Oh my god. It worked. You're back.

Are you alright? Does anyone need medical attention?

Just stay where you are. We'll need to get a head count, make sure everything is okay. If you could just stay on campus. Please?

( Read more... )

Two questions: where the fuck did my hair go, and is there someone I can punch about it?

I had to leave my dorm room in the middle of the night because there was a lifelike second Fen in my room. It was propped up and staring at me. Uh Anyone else with that issue?

Yeah, and we're in the void. Everything else seems fairly "normal."

So Derleth decided, I suppose, that from another life I had, I really need my tall staff from the time I was shaped partially like a dragon.

Which is weird and somewhat exciting until I decided to see if it still had powers in it.

It doesn't. It's... just a staff. I suppose the only use I have for it is if I need to bonk someone on the head. Seems sturdy enough.

( make him the cutest that I've ever seen )

( voice recording )

So... we're a diverse group, right?

Other than Thunder Thor, anybody know any gods or cosmic beings who aren't just complete dicks? Or is a love of cruel humor part of the 'creation-ability' kit?

I guess other than the Maker, too, but he just decided to sod off so it's not exactly like he's

Maker I hate my bar.

If anybody missed out on Wicked Grace last week, or wants another game, swing by my bar. This time there's no drink limit and I've found a few decks of cards locally that can function fine if there's a group.

Or, you know, if you just want to stop by. I'm having flashbacks to talking to that hairy nug my first few days in this mess when I try and speak to my staff, a distraction would be great.

Well this is... cryptic. Everyone good?

Okay. So, seems like a lot of you want to learn the best card game ever invented, but nobody here really knows how to play apart from yours truly. That should change, everybody loves Wicked Grace.

There's some kind of production being worked on, so because I'm a fan of the theater I'm gonna host a game after tomorrow's evening rehearsal. Anybody's welcome to come and play, found one of those classrooms with a big table and plenty of chairs.

As a bonus, Thor, God of Thunder is bringing ale. Apparently he's got quite a stash and wants to share it. Everybody should thank that kind of generosity before the game starts, since things can get a little competitive once people start picking up the game.

I'm gonna recommend we start with small stakes, so we'll keep the learning rounds in good fun. Otherwise, bring a purse with whatever you're willing to lose once the stakes start being legitimate.

UPDATE OF TERMS

Shit, I really underestimated how eager for distraction everybody was. Look, I only have the one deck, so at a certain point I'll have to cut off the guest list for tomorrow's game or we can't play a real round anyway.

I already got confirmations from a few people I'd spoken with last week, so next not-one-of them is in, too, and then sadly I'll have to start a list for any further interested parties. Set up something next day or so on. If interest keeps up, I'll see about getting some additional decks to keep around.

Well.

This is... less shabby. And less feeling of immediate immanent death. That's something.

Anybody wanna explain why the sky looks like it was painted by a mad enchanter? Or are we not supposed to look at that too hard?

[Private to Clint Barton]

Assuming you're still sleeping off the last adventure, I'm by the main gathering area and sleeping off a special mission. Might be a little slow to start today's escapade.

Don't fret, didn't run into any real trouble. But it's getting harrier out there by the minute, so in a professional idiot's opinion nobody should be headed out alone again.

Come push me off the chair if you're intent on going out and I'm still in dreamland. You're the only sensible one I've met around this hell hole.

Filtered to Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton

Bouncey and I doubled back after the shitshow at the Mall. Apart from being down some arrows, we actually pulled together a tidy haul, I think.

Since he did the tally last time, this is what I came up with. Saw one some of the posts that the Steve guy isn't around anymore Sorry about that but if you feel this list should be forwarded to anybody else, let me know.

And now the Grand Assessment:

- Small tool set for jewelry repair. Fine tools, quality assortment.
- Bunch of colorful fabric scraps (bandages?)/gauze from something called Build-a-Bear (Honestly I thought the Orlesians were weird)
- Needle set and sewing thread.
- Inks and half a bottle of sanitizer from a tattoo parlor.
- Paper from the parlor, maybe a ream's worth. Semi waxy but good enough for the ink.
- 6 ceramic mugs, mostly with rude pictures on them.
- Few extra shirts, varying sizes, mostly decorated with vulgar pictures or phrases according to Bouncey (Humans! Love you!!)
- 6 bags of dry stuff Bouncey says is called 'pasta'. Shaped like genetalia. (I'm dying over here.)
- Handful of some disc shaped pins that can be polished to be reflective.
- 2 Large "plastic" bins (we can both fit in one each)
- 10 "Bungey cords", most around 6 ft length but the stretch out.
- A collapsable platform with a set of wheels, can fit the bins with the bungies.
- 2 sets bow and 'firearm' (whatever those are) repair kits/cleaning sets
- 1 fire poker
- 1 fire shovel
- 7 protein bars. Apparently have a lot of 'calories' and nutrients in them, though they feel like jerky blocks to me.

Getting the box of protein bars caused a bit of a ruhkus and attracted some half-feral humans Bouncey says aren't from the campus, so we skiddadled after that. Probably not worth facing the shamblers or feral humans to head back, for a while. At least in the time-fream we're working with.

So, we can do weapon repair and cleaning and camp out, maybe use the big bins and the dolly to bring back a bigger supply of water from that river you were talking about. He reckons this plastic stuff will hold it pretty well, and we didn't take the one we took turns trying out so apart from the smell (which he says is normal) they're pretty clean.

We did use up a few bolts each looking out for those kids, but both still have ammo. I'm down to 8.

[Filtered to Steve Rogers / Natasha Romanoff/ Varric Tethras]

Great news everyone.

We come bearing food*

So we didn't find a ton because it sucks out there. And this is not a retrievable shaft field. But

15 bottles of water

2/3 of a container of baby formula powder.

A box of chicken bouillon cube (12 total).

3 shakers of red pepper flakes and 2 of parmesan--kinda full.

69 packets of cherry and grape flavored lube (lol)

14 oz a bottle of safflower oil that doesn't smell off

10 oz jar of coconut oil that could be ok if we get rid of the top part

1.5 22 oz. coconut oil massage lotion. I know. I know. But Cher eats lotion and she's super old and probably alive here too tbh so idk it's maybe worth a try.

* or like edible stuff. work with me here.

I think we'll probably have to go back out cause that's not gonna cut it, I know. But it's not nothing.

[Filtered to Kate Bishop]

Hey Hawkeye.

Any luck yet?

Varric sighed softly as he moved into possibly the biggest, most dilapitated Human city he'd ever seen. There were big ones in his homeworld, of course, ones where you similarly couldn't see the end. But he'd never been in one that classified as 'ruins', no matter the architecture.

Chiding himself on being dwarven for noticing the quality of the structures, Varric recentered himself on minding the surroundings. It was unlike anything he'd seen before, even by human standards. That wasn't as disconcerting to him though, he'd been through plenty of foriegn lands in his own world. What was worse was the feel of the place, which had nothing to do with the insane amount of fake-stone he was walking over and surrounded by.

Glancing over at the first other being he'd actually spoken to other than the angry, hairy nug who had seemed to decide interrupting its dinner warranted a full-on vendetta of harrassment the past few days, Varric gently hefted the lovely weight of his crossbow as he and the blond human in weird clothes pushed forward into the depths of the city, further back from the same-but-different ruins he'd been staring at for several days. Clint didn't seem too bad, after all, and the last time he'd been hijacked the company had been a lot less amicable. That was enough to give the Dwarf a small morale boost.

Nudging his partner as they walked further and further from the strange but familiar set of buildings, he nodded up ahead.

"Any idea what those signs mean? I can't read the writing," he grunted. Most of them were only half visible, but the characters were strange to him, and they were mostly in squares and without the pictures or shapes that had been more or less standard in his own world to indicate to non-native speakers. Really, what was so hard about making shapes like an anvil for a smithy, an apple or a haunch for a different sort of grocer? He grunted again in irritation and checked his 'phone', the word Clint had told him meant the little black box. The guy had invaluable insight, but Varric was still working it out. "Word on the street is shamblers and a lack of food or water, though I guess somebody already found a stream. We should probably look for grub... doesn't matter who you are, grub's important." Though he wouldn't mind finding a vat of ale, either.

So, what the actual hell is with this magic teleportation, and why does it keep happening?

Andraste's ass, I preferred those woods and regular ruins. This shit is... creepy. Smells like the Fade around here took a turn for the darker.

Inquisitor, you around? Chuckles?

( And suddenly a Dwarf appears in the Green )

My dearest friend,

Welcome to Derleth.

I am so sorry I could not be there to greet you myself, but I trust you'll find your way around soon enough. Most of the students have not yet arrived for the new semester and so I've arranged for [your?] lodging on campus. You'll find a key in your pocket. Just like old times, eh?

Should the experiment go as planned, for one week we will be able to displace time and space itself. I believe with my calculations we will be able to control the effects and no one shall be the wiser. To anyone not directly involved it will be imperceptible.

Feel free to wander the campus in the meantime. We'll begin the experiment at [muffled] Hall, on Thursday, precisely at midnight.

We'll show them, won't we?

Un Sacrificium Parvis ob Adagnitio.