NO EXITS

So a few of us have an idea to find out more information about this place. It involves building something called a Tesla Flexion and it will allow us to talk to someone from another timeline for two minutes.

I'm making this announcement because some of you have been here long enough to know that when we try to fuck with Derleth, Derleth gets fucked. When Rick tried to anchor Derleth on Planet Vegas so we could stay somewhere decent, it didn't work, and the next week some of us woke up in the bodies of ourselves from alternate timelines. That time a bunch of people shrank down an IKEA and stole it so we could have furniture? We woke up different heights the following week. It's worth pointing out each consequence has only lasted the week.

The plan might not work, but Derleth might react regardless. This isn't me asking for permission from every single one of you, this is me giving you a heads up. Figuring shit out is going to require risks. I promise I'll try to make this one worth it.


[TEAM TESLA FLEXION*]

I'm ready to do this. Armitage Hall? Tonight at 6?

Caduceus Clay will be in the Tesla Flexion to talk to Rick, posing as his daughter Dahj. The Rick of this timeline was kinder. We think he'll be cooperative in addition to having information we need.

Natasha Romanoff is our interrogation expert. She'll be feeding Caduceus lines through an earpiece and coaching him on what to say.

Alice Quinn and I will be casting the Tesla Flexion.

Kady Orloff-Diaz is providing the battery we'll need for the extra power and can help Alice and I set it up.

Mobius M. Mobius is our timeline expert and will be there to assist in feeding Natasha questions to Caduceus as needed.

Eliot Waugh, Original Loki and Ben Reilly are our additional science and magical timeline/multiverse experts to assist Mobius in case new information comes up. ETA: Also Rocket. He's worked with Rick before. Say hi.

We only have two minutes so we have to make the most of it.


*(OOC: Folks that replied to this open post, or spoken to Julia about the Tesla Flexion were invited to join. Did I miss someone? Please let me know! IC/OOC post coming tomorrow!)

I can't believe I just got hit in the face with a paper airplane. You know that could put an eye out.

Anyway, I'm Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III.

If I didn't know better I'd think this was the Frostfell. It has to be just as cold as it at any rate. Please tell me it's not always this frigid.

who threw my flarkin muffins out??

i hid them so NO ONE WOULD TOUCH THEM and i get back here and they ain't there

WHO: Melody & The Doctor
WHEN: Shortly after the Doctor's arrival.
WHAT: Introductions. Sort of.
RATING/WARNINGS: Low/None.
STATUS: Complete!

Knowing she was here, knowing she was her, made Melody restless. She could only stay away for so long.

( Read more... )

So given everything that's happened I guess I should share what I know about the network.

• Months ago, the first time we visited an alternate timeline, I learned the version of me there basically created the network. I could mention Tilly but let's keep this short and sweet. I was ambitious, and I had a few potential government contracts lined up for an unhackable network.
  
  
• In order to make the network unhackable, I laced magic in the coding. I don't remember the spell, I can remember some details about the book, but that book isn't here. To test it, I opened it up as a beta to Derleth students and faculty. I challenged people to try to hack it, try to break into other people's messages, my messages, whatever.
  
  
• It worked. But I think the magic she/I used is also what's bringing us here, why the same people show back up again even when they disappear. If you're here, a version of you was also on that Derleth and signed up for the beta. Michael appeared to confirm this last week.

So now you know. You want a piece of me, I'm still in the clinic.


[NATASHA]

If I didn't tell, Rose was going to. Thought it would be better coming from me. Sorry. They deserve to know anyway.

Hello, I am Baymax, your personal healthcare companion.

Has anyone else noticed the change in decoration? It appears quite comforting. There is a portrait of Tadashi Hamada in my room. It is very nice.

If anyone is in need of medical assistance, I will be in the clinic. There will also be hugs and lollipops available.

HellO? I'm I working this thing correctly? These devices are so primitive, I can't tell if I am posting to everyone or privately. I don't want to filter this post, so I know that's not it. We can't be too hard on Julia and Tilly for designing the user interface, I'm sure they did their best. Primate brains, am I right?

Alright, assuming I'm doing this correctly, my name is Michael. I noticed you seemed to be having a little spacetime trouble. I've brought my assistant Janet with me and while we're looking everything over, we thought we might try to make things a little more comfortable for you all.

If you have any questions, please feel free to message me. I will be holding office hours in room 302 at Armitage Hall if you'd prefer to speak to me in person. Please forgive me if I'm not available 24/7, there is a lot to go through here. This is just a mess.

Now that we've finally left the unholy culmination of Rodgers and Hammerstein's fever dreams, I have a question.

Am I still married? Does the marriage bond break as soon as you're whisked away from the pocket universe wherein you were married, without nary a hope of returning to your whipped cream cake of a wife? Will there be a heavenly or demonic power that forces me to stay true to a sham marriage you only agreed to because well, bullets and shovels are painful?

And no matter how I loathe to admit it, but I just stared at my shower, sighed and went back to bed. This is technology gone wrong.

Not that I've been looking for a way out of this daily musical hell hole or anything, but I found a bridge. With signs that make it seem like you can leave. And a leprechaun that sang to me when I tried to cross the bridge and figure out what was going on.

Apparently, at least according to that guy, "within its borders ye are bound until, at last, true love is found." So... I guess do with that information what you will.

For the record, no, the bridge did me absolutely zero good.

I had a very vivid dream last night. Like I lived it. I think I did. Does this place do that?

Maybe I'll sing about it. I have a rather deep voice, but I'm sure it'll be beautiful.

Isn't there a Kate Bishop here? Kate Bishop, show yourself.


[private to NATASHA]

I tried to kill Barton in my dream.

[private to CLINT BARTON]

I'm sorry I tried to kill you. You explained it in the dream, but Natasha also told me what happened. Bygones be bygones?

Of all the really scary places I've been, THIS takes the cake.

Kark, how do you stand it? The singing! The dancing! The clothes! The lack of TECH?

Oh no, I am not participating in this. I'm staying in my room. Unless you want to play carnival games. I went with Steve and it was a lot of fun.

...but that's the only way.

This is different. Anachronistic college campus in a pocket dimension that's mostly artificial. Sonic seems a bit confused about the nature of the locals. Love the song and dance numbers, though. I don't see my TARDIS anywhere. I hope it hasn't up and vanished again.

I'm not smart enough for university. I failed the college entrance exam, so why am I in a regiment?

Is this a comic book? Do you like pulling people away from budding romantic moments? Because I would like to go back to that budding romantic moment.

But it's probably over already.

Am I MIA? Because my brother is a prose Why am I in a regiment?

What in the fucking fuck is happening right now? Cleo, why??

We come up on a group decision to start getting everyone out yet? I don't know the chain of command here, but I think we know enough at this point to see there's no benefit to leaving anyone in those pods.

Come out of a paradise world where you barely have to do anything for yourself, wake up in a pod with no left arm, get flushed out with the trash, only to be picked up by kindly scavengers in a body that barely functions and has to relearn everything, and learn you're in the middle of a war for survival.

How messed up is my life that I'm fucking relieved?

I'm going to kill every motherfucker involved in setting this place up and controlling it. Why would you TAKE SOMEONE from their timeline just to SEND THEM BACK to die? You fucking assholes have no idea the kind of enemy you've made out of me.

I KILLED HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF RICKS ON MY OWN! Barely even TAPPING into my infinite mind to do it too. AND YOU JUST FUCKED WITH THE WRONG PERSON BY TAKING DAHJ FROM HERE.

This is an absolutely hilarious twist on the alien abduction jokes, but I have an asshole wearing my brother's face that I have to handle. So thanks for the welcoming committee and all, but I'm going to find my way out of here.

Is anyone else I know stuck here, or is it just me?

So ghosts are real?

Hello Delerth, I'm Hugh Christian and I arrived here earlier today, and apparently seem to have been unfortunate enough to arrive without a key. I thought maybe I could sort this out myself, but I haven't seemed to be able to.

I'm wondering if anyone has an extra key, or a sofa? Just until I can figure out something more permanent hopefully this isn't. I promise you won't know I'm there. I don't have much cash on me, but I do have a laptop with a half dozen romcoms and musicals that I'm happy to view for the one hundredth time, a half pound of Anchorhead coffee and ten years as a barista in the U District - I promise you the best pourover you've ever had, at least for a day or two while the coffee beans hold out.

If there's a better way to do this, or I don't know, a place to find keys if one didn't show up in your pocket, I'm happy to just be directed there as well.

Uh, hey there, new denizens of this weird fucking campus. There is leftover pizza in the kitchen last night. Unfortunately, probably not for everyone because I apparently underestimated the amount of mouths there would be to feed this morning.

But there's also ingredients and cookbooks I brought in too so if anyone's feeling ambitious, plenty of food to go around. Hopefully.

BTW, yes, this place IS haunted.

Okay but is anyone keeping like a spreadsheet of all of this? There's got to be some pattern or reasoning behind this latest week, though I'll admit I'll take a bunch of random new people over aliens that kill you if you make any sound.

Hey. I'm

( MARCELINE THE VAMPIRE QUEEN )
Sup.

Normally - all of you - being trapped with me - would be hilarious. But I ain't got time for this biz. Where do y'all keep the bug milk?

I have crossed over to new realms before, but this is the first time a piece of paper hit me to explain the whole thing.

I'm Elsa. None of this makes any-- And I am not overly familiar with these communication devices but I learned about them a little in Storybrooke so I hope I did things right to reach other people. Apologies if you feel the cold all of a sudden. I'm - still trying to get my bearings.

This is sloppy. Vengeful ghosts like these really should be shoved inside a closet, and be kept away from humans. Clearly, that's not an option right now.

I am sending this paper airplane back to sender now. And tell me you have champagne.

Would it have been too much to ask that the ghosts have been friendly?

By the way, I got nothing on this ideawise. Killing them seems cruel.

To the imbecile responsible for this catastrophe,

I know who you are.

I will find you.

And I will not be mincing words.

Well, this is rather fanciful, isn't it? Strange, even for Vegas. I've caught the odd glimpse of another world through the rifts, but I've never been pulled into one before. Is this usually how it works?

I don't think I've done the pirate thing before. At least the outfit isn't terrible. A little inaccurate, I'd say, but then, it really isn't my time period.

(...)

This isn't a Vegas thing, is it?

My dearest friend,

Welcome to Derleth.

I am so sorry I could not be there to greet you myself, but I trust you'll find your way around soon enough. Most of the students have not yet arrived for the new semester and so I've arranged for [your?] lodging on campus. You'll find a key in your pocket. Just like old times, eh?

Should the experiment go as planned, for one week we will be able to displace time and space itself. I believe with my calculations we will be able to control the effects and no one shall be the wiser. To anyone not directly involved it will be imperceptible.

Feel free to wander the campus in the meantime. We'll begin the experiment at [muffled] Hall, on Thursday, precisely at midnight.

We'll show them, won't we?

Un Sacrificium Parvis ob Adagnitio.