NO EXITS

Hello? Everyone?

The ship is moving.

You might want to hurry back? It's, uh, well, sailing itself again.

Did the boat stop or did I just get used to it?

Judging by the stars, we're a few hundred years ago on Earth. Still doesn't tell me shit about where we are, but it's too hot to be north or south poles. Portal gun's still working, but since I can't set coordinates, I'm testing blind. Open ocean everywhere I've gone so far.

GET ME OFF THIS FUCKING PIRATE SHIP. I HATE PIRATES WITH A PASSION.

Just out of curiosity, how many of you have died here?

So what exactly is there to do around here?

( Read more... )

I see the others fucked up my room, but if they fucked up you as well, don't come to me for an apology. It's not my fault.

What's the name of the dude I was married to anyway?

[RICK SANCHEZ]
I guess you weren't a shitty fucking dad before you went all pod people.

[...] Karen and Baby Doll appreciated you.

Good news, everyone... NO NIGHTMARES TONIGHT!

Bad news... that building is still watching me.

Also you ever been tased by an alien and vaporized? That shit fucking hurts.

Has anyone tried ranking the weeks you've been here? Who's been here the longest?

Here's my list, but I haven't been here long:

1. The week where we were just on campus and had a karaoke party. Weird song choices aside, there was alcohol and nothing trying to kill us. Just a creepy monolith.
2. Giant alligator alien invasion week that started off in Pleasantville. I mean, it was entertaining, man. And now I know why my friend Jason loves throwing Molotov cocktails so much.
3. STFU or die week. Yeah, just wasn't a fan of that one. No wonder I thought I was still in the Bad Place. This may still be the Bad Place. I don't know.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm all for nothing bad happening for the next seven days.

[REY.]
Wow.

[FRIENDS FILTER*]

So you know how sometimes we get things from home? I am pretty sure the campus gave me back my shade. Kind of hard to tell for sure. Only one way I can really find out.

Might be prudent to have a witness in case it goes wrong somehow or it isn't what I think it is? I just wanted the rest of you to know.

(OOC: Standard disclaimer on the friends filter applies. I will not punish anyone for the high crime of wanting to RP with me so assume yes over no that your character is included if they want to interact.)

I'm not activating. I don't know how to fight.

[DADS]

Are you okay?

The university is overrun. We need a place to regroup. What about the high school?

Check in. Who needs help?


(OOC: Eliot doesn't realize their are Lokis or pod people not on their side, so this post is not filtered.)


[MAGICIANS + FRIENDS + TIM]

Where are you?

I'll pay someone two dollars to mow my lawn. I've got the mower; I just don't have the time. I don't wanna lose Rocket in my overgrown grass. Someone help an old man out.

I am currently stranded on the sidewalk, in front of my house, which is locked up tight.

Due to a family obligation, I was supposed to miss the first week of school. these idiots I do believe my parents and extended family members saw fit to leave without me in their haste to run off to fat city. Which is totally bogus, man.

I'm going let them burn rubber and I'll break into my house.

Positives : no family gathering, my little project doesn't melt down and take this whole neighborhood with it.
Negatives : can't think of any.

QUIT LOOKING AT ME YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLES. I KNOW YOU'RE ALL JUDGING ME. I really thought I HAD the damn thing, so I poked it with my finger, and now I'M GOING TO BLIND YOU ALL so that you can stop looking at me.

It's not that I didn't enjoy the festivities last night -- I really did, actually. Made my miss my best friend, Mal, who wouldn't have hesitated to party along with everyone there and drank people under the table. (I could never even handle a single drink.)

But I have so many questions on how the songs were picked and how things were... automatic? For the lack of a better word.

Also, does anyone need a good hangover cure I can put together and deliver? Pickled cucumber and fatty soup are some common Ravkan ones I know of.

I know things have been rough the last few weeks.

So, we're going to scrounge up whatever alcohol we have left and there will be a party and I expect most of you to attend. RIP, the bar. We'll restock the next opportunity.

Rick, you're rigging up the sound system.

There will be karaoke. I expect at least half of you to sing. Don't worry about the curse for those of you who remember that particular week, I'll take care of it. I promise no one will sing unless they actually choose to.

Now who's helping me set up? We're doing this day six.

who's in charge of making food around here?? there's no muffins no wait gotta do manners i would like chocolate chip muffins please and make it snappy thank you

I get it. The monolith is very exciting. But it appears we suddenly have an insurgence of animal activity in the area and as such, I have taken it upon myself so generous and altruistic I know to help resolve the issue of where to house these semi-domestic creatures. This is your only opportunity to weigh in on where the as yet unnamed Animal Housing Facility should be. If no one offers any suggestions I'm just going to put it up wherever I see fit. So, if you have a favorite blade of grass in this Hel-hole now is the time to let me know. Also, if anyone wants to help I'm taking an inventory of potential building materials around campus. I think there's a maintenance room in the gym with some tools, but I'm not much with a hammer so that can be someone else's department. And to those of you with canines — Clean. Up. The. Mess. I just stepped in nevermind STEVIE: I heard a rumor that you have a lion. Does he need a special domicile for himself? I'm feeling gracious today so monopolize on my goodwill while you can. RICK: How's it going, Gramps? SYLVIE: [message unsent] We should talk. JULIA: [message unsent] Are you okay?

Okay, so...

Based on network posts and what happened to me and my friends when we tried to ward up the monolith, I think it's safe to say that it likes to hand out nightmares. So, maybe don't touch it? Or fuck with it. Or maybe don't even look at it more than you have to?

Just a thought.

If we're lucky, it's only here for the week.

[Private to Rick]

I know you must have already tested the powder that was spread all over campus. What can you tell me about it?

[Private to Natasha]

I have a theory. It's a theory in progress, but it's something.

Everyone alright? Things look like our version of normal again.

I'm not going to let last week bother me

I'm not sure what that black building is, but I don't like it at all.

alright so i gotta ask because it looks like this ain't been established yet

who is ACTUALLY in charge here??
who calls the shots and has more than two brain cells to work with???

or there ain't anyone and that's why people keep ending up as chew toys out there

Fuck

Strange is injured. He's in the clinic, but it's bad he's alive.


this whole fucking planet is swarming

I'm sorry.

i got the whole shut up part of this place but what's up with the staring deeply into each other's eyes

did i miss something

Aw, hell. The one person I knew from my world is gone.

I haven't had to use any kind of protection from electro magnetic interference for the last day or so. I guess that means there aren't as many monsters in the area? Is everyone okay?


[RICK]

Thank you for everything.

[SYNTHETICS]

Are you alright?

[FILTERED TO FRIENDS OF JULIA WICKER]

Look, I know there are definitely way bigger issues to deal with this week, but has anyone else noticed Julia acting off? She's literally never this chipper. It's honestly kind of creepy It's not just me, right?

[MAGICIANS - MINUS JULIA]

Real talk, I know Jules doesn't have her shade, but she's acting real fucking weird and I don't like it. It reminds me of some of the stupid shit she got up to before she got it back. You know, like when she committed herbicide with that forest in Fillory.

If you see a 01100011 01100001 01110100, please tell it to 01110010 01100101 01110100 01110101 01110010 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100101 01110101 01110100 01100101 01101110 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01101101 01100001 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 Data.

I am not familiar with him, 01100010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110011 00100000 01101111 01101110 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100101 01101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101111 01110000 01100101 01101110 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100101 01111001 01100101 01110011 00101110.

01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101100 01101100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101000 01101001 01101101 Spot.

Because he is striped.

SHUT THE FUCK UP. ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT UP. DON'T EVEN SNEEZE.

DATA:

Where the fuck are you?

I went out this morning to check those things out. Doesn’t look like it will be easy to penetrate whatever their exterior is made of, but I was thinking maybe we can try scanning them to look for weak spots. Is anyone already working on this?

Or point me in the direction of someone who’s working on it if this is already a thing.

So I managed to get some photographs. I don't see any eyes or damage despite the fact that this thing was throwing itself against the building.

[A few dozen photos of the one at her window in an upcoming log.]

If anyone wants to bypass the monsters outside, I can calculate a portal into the other buildings. HMU.

[RICK SANCHEZ]

What are you up to this week?

[OOC: Anyone who encounters Julia this week might notice she seems to be in a great mood and, oddly for her, smiling.]

Are we taking bets on where we'll end up tomorrow?

I didn't realize Tom left until I bothered to look at this thing.

If we could not do that again, that would be great. The bringing him here bit.

This is bullshit.

Um Hi. I have a bit of a request... is there anything someone can take if they're feeling a bit worn down and mildly under the weather? It's nothing contagious, I just need something to give me more energy. To really do anything at all.

Has anyone ventured into creating a full movie theatre experience yet? Yes, I know there are TVs about and smaller viewing spaces, but I'm not speaking of half measures*. I'm speaking of a sound system that rattles your bone marrow, at minimum.

*(And, yes, I know there are other concerns at the moment, but you seem to have a crack team handling it...! I believe in you!)

There was a tiny kid who was having trouble getting food the other day. I don't remember his name, but he was supposed to let me know where to drop something off for him and never did. So I'm assuming he either starved to death, got eaten by a squirrel, or managed to crawl up into the cupboard? If anyone knows what happened to him, give me a shout. Not that I'm worried or anything. Totally don't care. NATASHA. Are we still on for a rousing chorus of Asgardian drinking songs at the end of the week? Because I need it. Also, you might have to supply the liquor.