[As Hawkeye, duh.]
Hey teenagers. Make like an after school special and stop doing drugs. Or stupid dares. Or whatever you're making me waste my netarrows on.
[Private to Spider-Man]
So I heard you're not some old creepy nerd anymore.
My Darling Shane,
Please accept a thousand of my apologies.
I realize, indeed quite shamefully, that my response is inconveniently belated.
Your patience with me has been exceptional, and I do hope that your most generous invitation to accompany you during your promotion ceremony still stands, and has not been weathered by my untimely preoccupations. Let me know at your earliest convenience if you would still like me to join you, as I shall be landing in but a few days, and would sincerely be honored.