NO EXITS

[ A selfie of Tony kicked back in a chair in his lab. He's still wearing the clothes he woke up in—has he even slept at all?—and being extra with his facial expression. His shirt is unbuttoned to what some might find a questionable degree, and this necklace is clearly visible. His hair is lighter and more styled than usual. He's bored. ]


We've got fairies and tree nymphs and Peter Parker's one-man horror show. So let's hear it. Theories for what this guy's deal is. I'm thinking eccentric uncle with an upscale boutique in SoHo full of Native art knockoffs, but let's spitball here.

Ineedhelp. Idontknowhowtodealwithvenom

[Filtered to people from her world]

How’s everyone doing? I am unable to remove the Black Panther suit.

[ And the video call opens up with a close up of Venom's face. The video is shaky of course and it's a surprise that Venom hasn't eaten the thing yet. ]

HELLO PUNY HOOMANS! WHERE ARE YOU? WE WANNA EATCHA.

Alright. Listen up. I'm only going to say this once because I fucking hate repeating myself. I'm gonna be up all night in the center of the goddamn campus. I've made a quantum stabilizer in the hopes of keeping the Derleth bubble here on Planet Vegas. I know a bunch of you assholes went out and fucked with mobsters, but it's got food, clothes, shelter, real beds, and more ways to get money for those things.

So stop fucking with mobsters. I can mind wipe the memories from anyone you fucked with if you're that stressed about it. And hold onto your butts. If I'm lucky, and I'm always fucking lucky, we'll be on Planet Vegas tomorrow too.

And THAT'S what I've been doing on my own.

Anyone else wondering why there seem to be no available rooms on floors two and three?

We need a big dinner thing at one of these fancy ass restaurants. We'll be going back to the void in a day, and we really need to gorge it up.

Anyone up for it?

I know there’s a welcoming committee, but is there a science […] team? I know everyone has different skill sets, maybe we can organize something?

This looks like neither New York City or Hawaii, but I can basically predict how things will go: anyone who comes in here is stuck here till whatever outside being decides to let them back into the world they previously came from. Am I correct?

Where in the world am I?

I was just in the beginnings of a battle against Thanos and now I am on an abandoned campus.

This is Captain America. Someone seems to have started the party without me, anyone care to fill me in?

I seriously hope this isn't a Russian thing I'm gonna need someone to help me explain this to my boss. I'm pretty sure he's super done with all my other excuses.

Hello Derleth.

Now (and always) gladly accepting donations to keep the clinic well-stocked and running efficiently. Most things restock every week, but this place is more technologically advanced than the campus. There are a few things in particular we're looking for- talk to Dr. Chakrabarti or myself if you're interested in helping out.

Private to Ravi:

Dr. Chakrabarti,

I have some ideas for improvements to be made at the clinic, especially in terms of some of the worn out equipment. Anything you've noticed we're missing?

Fear not, puny pathetic displaced denizens of Derleth. I have arrived. In return for your undying fealty I promise you my leadership as a benevolent ruler. And on my honor to you all, I will be a merciful god. If you'd like to present me with tithings, you may leave them in front of room #129. But I'll only be accepting poker chips for the next two days.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Rac Dick?

What does everyone /need/ so I can start collecting stuff?

Oh, and, uh - where do we exchange our chips for money?

Alright, I get everyone is excited due to the apparent civilization and lack of murder bears but can we please discuss maybe pulling some of our resources together for the common good and new arrivals?

We can all agree it sucks to show up with just the clothing on our back, yes?

We can all agree the lack of alcohol options, particularly during void weeks, are intolerable, yes? Other entertainment options or general shit to do might also be desirable, yes?

I would also like to form a sort of welcoming committee. Come up with a way to inform new arrivals of their present circumstances and give them a little more to work with than a cryptic voicemail from a stranger.

So  who's willing to donate to the new arrival/community entertainment fund? And who wants to help me form the all new Welcoming Committee?

I'm going to need a room where I can [...] slip out of these bandages from time to time. And preferably a room where nobody's likely to go, tucked behind other rooms where nobody's likely to go, because people will melt and die.

I feel like that's probably Fuck Jack the Ripper Anyway.

Can we get things from home?

And I burned a grilled cheese. Ignore the smoke, there's nothing to worry about.

Sometimes I tend to lose myself when I'm out here on my own. I never seem to get it right, but I guess that's how it goes.

[Tony]

I can get the suit back when you're done, right?

Hey anyone have a poison type pokemon?

Is there a way I could speak to whoever is leading the experiment? An email or phone number would be cool. I think they made a mistake. Mr. Stark is everyone else here?

Hi, I’m Peter Parker. I just arrived.

My dearest friend,

Welcome to Derleth.

I am so sorry I could not be there to greet you myself, but I trust you'll find your way around soon enough. Most of the students have not yet arrived for the new semester and so I've arranged for [your?] lodging on campus. You'll find a key in your pocket. Just like old times, eh?

Should the experiment go as planned, for one week we will be able to displace time and space itself. I believe with my calculations we will be able to control the effects and no one shall be the wiser. To anyone not directly involved it will be imperceptible.

Feel free to wander the campus in the meantime. We'll begin the experiment at [muffled] Hall, on Thursday, precisely at midnight.

We'll show them, won't we?

Un Sacrificium Parvis ob Adagnitio.