NO EXITS

On the seventh day at precisely 1:32 AM, the campus once more resets. Everyone trapped in the experiment falls unconscious (if not sleeping already) only to wake up sometime afterward in their assigned bed, in their assigned room, in their assigned dorm, as themselves, in the exact condition they arrived in, wearing the precise clothing they arrived in.

Unfortunately for Derleth, it looks like the IKEA a bunch of you stole from Florida threw up again. Thankfully you’re all your right sizes! No, no, it’s nothing like that. It’s just that the decorating of all the buildings and dorms look to be in the primitive Icelandic style. The carpets are an inoffensive beige or pergo (in maple, naturally), the walls are a clean, crisp white. There are motivational messages printed in bright greens and pinks in the hallways with messages like, “Don’t worry!” or “We’re here to help!” or “Welcome! Everything is fine!”

Each occupied bedroom has a large, department store style photo portrait of the one person not at Derleth that the occupant misses most. If the occupant truly misses no one, however, they are greeted in their rooms with a portrait of Doug Forcett.

Your bathrooms have been updated into something super modern and chic. There are no more tubs to take a bath in, just one continuous floor with multiple shower heads angled on different walls. The lights, fans, water, temperature, faucets are all operated via a complicated set of switches and controls. Have fun figuring it out. There is no instruction manual, but let’s be honest, you wouldn’t have read it anyway.

The kitchen only serves your character’s one favorite food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The food they most love and adore is there for them, whenever they want it and nothing else. Just their favorite, their one, truly favorite thing. All the time.

Outside the buildings, the campus has been “cleaned up” too. The buildings are simpler and brightly colored in a quaint, whimsical sort of way. (Even the monolith has gone from an intimidating black to a bright pink.) The forest that was once at the center of campus has been returned to its small size and transformed into a quaint little park with a manicured lawn.

The cosmic swearing filter has been set to “off”. Your character will no longer be able to speak, write or express curse words. (Even in other languages.) Fuck has been replaced with fork, shit with shirt, bitch with bench, asshole with ash-hole, etc.

Along with the return of the Void is someone new. His name is Michael. Michael calls himself an Architect. And don’t you worry your sweet little heads! He’s seen your plight and he’s here to… do something? Once he fully understands the situation, of course. It’s just so much to take in. He’ll be holding office hours for anyone who would like to chat with him in person. Don’t mind his assistant, Janet! She may not seem useful but Michael finds her very helpful. ( FAQ! )