taleless, rpg community

( Left very sneakily on Hal's desk. )

TO: Peppermint Twist
FROM: Keiran McQueen
SENT: 16/5/17 5:05 PM

[1] [Attached image]
[2] Am I correct in suspecting you're to blame for my mailbox suddenly becoming a halfway house for bridal magazines?

TO: Hal Cooper
FROM: Keiran McQueen
SENT: 16/5/17 5:08 PM

[1] Alright there, Harold?
[2] Had a bit of a week, I hear?

TO: Nic Scott
FROM: Keiran McQueen
SENT: 16/5/17 5:10 PM

[1] I've asked him, but he'll lie, so I'll ask you:
[2] How's the House of Fire and Spite handling the comings and goings of this past week?

Happy fuckin Wednesday, Woodsbridge.

[HAL, RYAN, KELLY, MICHELLE + ETA LINDA]
Anyone know this brat's parents?

[ARAMINTA]
Serious question: Will you still love me if I murder a teenager?

[MARCELINE]
Got a question for you.

WHO: Araminta Shapiro & Keiran McQueen
WHAT: Keiran has been getting home VERY late most days recently and Minty confronts him about it. :)
WHEN: April 8, 1 AM.
WHERE: MInty & Keiran’s pad in the Woods
WARNING/RATING: Um. Minty is real petty and both of them are actually bad people?

( I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. )

ATTN: Woodsbridge's Would-Be Comedians:

The "joke contest" advertised on Saturday is not real. There is no "contest." There is no "prize." There is no "hotline." Stop calling me. And whoever the fuck gave out m

Much obliged.

[MICHELLE WATNEY]

Your intern has alerted me that there is a rat on your floor. I'm not familiar enough with Three to know the ins and outs of where the little bastard's likely hiding, but your assistance is appreciated. I'll be in your break room.

Haha, fuck Ronaldo. This is the good news I needed to get through this day.

Look, we have no idea know what's going on either, but we've put a discount on the 'protection' branch of our stock for those of you that fancy a bit of an extra layer between you and whatever the fuck's happened to the weather. We're understaffed as shit, so you may face a bit of a wait, but we're open.

[BUSINESS OFFICE]

If you're all as overworked upstairs as we are downstairs, help yourselves to the metric fuckton of coffee and bagels that've just been delivered to our break room.

[ARAMINTA]

Gonna be home a bit late. But I'll bring dinner.

Did anyone else watch that embarrassing defeat Paris suffered at the collected hands of Barca yesterday? My money's still on Bayern to take the lot, but it's touching to see how well Barca has handled hosting Lionel Messi's prolonged Retirement Tour.

In non-sports news, my tattoo artist's up and moved back to Tokyo without warning, so if anyone's got recommendations on a replacement, I'm collecting em.

Jumping off of one charity event and into the next, I'd like to let everyone know that there will be a charity auction on Saturday, March 10th, 2017 at 6pm. It will be held at the Crystal Ballroom and everyone who wishes to come is invited. In fact, the more the merrier. How the fuck did Mom do this all the fucking time?

All proceeds will be benefiting the Woodsbridge LGBTQ+ At Risk Youth shelter to that they can completely renovate their facilities. Any excess funds will go towards their outreach programs. Please visit their website here*.

We do need volunteers for the auction. Instead of your typical silent auction and dinner, we're doing something a little different. We're auctioning dates. Please let me know by March 3rd if you'd like to auction yourself off for a good cause. You help a charity and get a date out of it.

All theme music has to be in to me by March 7th and I have the right to refuse any songs I want. If you don't provide a song, one will be provided for you.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

FILTER TO: FRIENDS apply liberally
Sorry I've been spaced. Thanks to everyone who reached out after Mom's passing. It was appreciated. Now, tell me what I've missed while I've been planning charity events, reading, writing, and editing legislation, and trying not to set the world on fire courtesy of Emperor Cheeto.

FILTER TO: ELIAS
You didn't even try. I swear you sent me that exact same one junior year of high school.

FILTER TO: KIDLET (Ash)
How're you feeling?



* ooc: please assume this link goes to a similar site for woodsbridge tyia

( given to keiran at work, by ryan, in a plain white envelope. his name isn't even on it. no name, no note. just one thing inside of it. )

This is your yearly reminder that I will not take your soul in exchange for making someone fall in love with you. I do not care that you went to a Witch and they denied your disgusting request. Nor do I care that you 'were meant to be.' Clearly you aren't if the other party has rejected you.

The answer hasn't changed in decades, so please stop cluttering my inbox with them.

Additionally, selling your soul for free chocolate is sad and pathetic. Wait until the 15th to get 1/2 off chocolate like the rest of us.

TO: Hal Cooper
FROM: Keiran McQueen
SENT: 27/1/2016 1:27 PM

[1] The Intern's declared a war on Comley.
[2] And cheesecake.
[3] This will not stand.

TO: GROUP: Business Office Associates [[any friends from the BO, but not Pippa because she is officially the enemy now.]]
FROM: Keiran McQueen
SENT: 27/1/2016 1:28 PM

[1] The bloody intern from Regulatory Affairs or whatever it is has declared a war on desserts.
[2] I'm angrily buying backup pie.
[3] Want anything?

TO: Peppermint Twist
FROM: Keiran McQueen
SENT: 27/1/2016 1:29 PM

[1] Three bleeding meetings today, and how was I getting myself through it?
[2] The promise of cheesecake.
[3] I turn up after my last stupid Friday meeting, and what do I find?
[4] The bleedin intern's tossed the bleedin cheesecake and now I can't have any.
[5] I am distraught.

That was a wee adventure. Glad to have you all back to normal, to be frank. If anyone's done any lasting damage to themselves, I'm sure we sell something that will help. I'll let you know as soon as I've finished righting the inventory Younger Me saw fit to cock up.

[HAL]
You back to normal, then?

[RYAN]
Alright there, Comley?

[KINGSBURY]
Fairly certain I made an inappropriate pass at you whilst under the influence of being an idiot child again. Apologies for that one.

[CHARLIE]
Here's a stupid question. What do you know about this Garcia creature?

[ARAMINTA]
So. What do we do with all this shit in the living room?*

*OOC: If your character is a local business owner and you're comfortable saying a pair of 21-year-olds stole some random shit from you, feel free to comment! Keiran and Minty went on a shoplifting spree for the last few days and now own a host of things that don't belong to them.

WHO: Araminta Shapiro and Keiran McQueen
WHAT: Keiran’s Birthday~
WHEN: December 21st, ~ 5pm!
WHERE: The Mermaid’s Tail!
WARNING/RATING: Classism. All Dialogue!

( At your BIRTHDAY dinner, right. That’s the perfect time to br-- don’t tell me what to do. )

I can't imagine having to deal with finals full-time. Bless all of your full-time little hearts. I've brought donuts and bear claws. They're in the staff lounge closest to the Theatre Arts building.

Hopefully we can be done and out of here as soon as possible. The Twelve Holi-days start today. What Businesses have what discounts? Let me know, darlings.

FILTERED TO KEIRAN:

And I'm sure you're a busy little thing, aren't you? What Holiday-induced madness are you dealing with?

TO: Keiran McQueen

[1] Let us imagine I have entered your office. Then for some reason I honestly don't understand, there is no post-it note pad on your desk.
[2] Now let's play a game called I Spy.
[3] I spy something shiny.

WHO: Keiran McQueen & Mia Kingsbury (feat. Momo Kingsbury), w/ a brief appearance by Kelly Kingsbury
WHEN: 12/5 - a bit before lunch.
WHERE: Business Office
SUMMARY: Mia has lots of friends. :’) // Keiran is very hard at work when he is very rudely interrupted by a pesky small child.
WARNINGS: Keiran and a six year old guys.
STATUS: Complete!

( There were few things Keiran took more seriously than his job. And there were very few things that could interrupt him whilst he was working on his tedious-but-necessary inventory reports without causing him to sigh loudly and glare reproachfully. )

TO: Peppermint Twist
FROM: Keiran McQueen
SENT: 2/12/2016 2:45 PM

[1] Hey, love.
[2] I've volunteered to take Mia to the movies and then back for cookie-baking on Sunday.
[3] For real this time, and not just to annoy Kingsbury.
[4] She's trying to keep from freaking the kid out, and I'm contributing to the cause by getting her out of the house.
[5] You don't have to come with, but you're invited if you like.

TO: Hal Cooper
FROM: Keiran McQueen
SENT: 2/12/2016 2:50 PM

[1] What will it take to convince you to stop being an archaeologist and get a nice quiet job as a hairdresser instead?

TO: Ryan Comley
FROM: Keiran McQueen
SENT: 2/12/2016 2:52 PM

[1] Oi. Still alive up there?

TO: Charlie Q
FROM: Keiran McQueen
SENT: 2/12/2016 2:52 PM

[1] I don't have anything to say that will be useful, or probably anything that hasn't been said.
[2] But I can offer a quiet place to crash if you'd like to be out of yours, just in case.
[3] I'll feed you, even, so you've one less thing to worry about.

In the interest of public information, it might be of note to some of you to know that we'll be doing Gift Sets down at the Potions Office this year. Potions and Glamours are always a popular gift item, and some of you who've bought with us in the past this time of year might've got the little festive bottles with the ribbons or the small sizes for stocking stuffers, but now you'll be able to buy sets of a series of mini bottles with related themes and festive decoration like a bleeding Elizabeth Taylor gift box. It's quite handy, really--we'll have a selection of premade sets available, but you can get a custom set of 3-6 bottles of varying sizes and annoyingly cute bottles if there's something specific you fancy.

Prices vary by size and quantity, and we've a sheet down at the office if you want to have a look. Inventory will update weekly, so if there's something in particular you're after, those requests can come straight to me.

[SEPARATELY TO: ANY WITCH WHO SELLS THROUGH THE BUSINESS OFFICE (add yourself)]

As should go without saying, we'll be looking to buy extra this season of any and all Beauty/Appearance Potions, Glamours, etc--and we'll likely be taking a lot of custom orders as well. Any of you interested in making a bit extra--as we'll be offering a slightly higher holiday rate, due to the anticipated sales volume--should contact me directly. If you do anything fancy or unusual you think might be of interest to this particular project, that information is equally welcome.

[MARCELINE]

Looking at you directly, Comley--I'm prepared to get you a hefty cut on anything unusual you've been cooking up. The standard beauty/appearance shit as well, of course, but if I know you, you've got something unique on the docket we can charge top-dollar to list.

[HAL]

Been thinking.
I'm on the lookout for a particular object, or set of objects, of a certain sentimental significance to me.
Any chance you might be interested in telling your best mate whether or not you've found anything new in your travels?

[ARAMINTA]

On a scale of 1-10, how likely is it we could have the house up by the end of the year?

Well, then. Chicago was lovely, in case anyone decides this town's finally too far gone in the head for their taste and decides to make a run for it.

Now: who's got news NOT related to everyone gone barmy and running about demanding duels and princesses and things?

[BUSINESS OFFICE EMPLOYEES SANS MICHELLE]
I hear Watney's off her rocker, but are the rest of us accounted for? Kingsbury's not trying to bottle anyone's souls or any such thing, is she?

[ARAMINTA]
So about Thursday. When are we leaving, what do I need to bring, and are they aware I'm going to be there?

TO: Bootsy ♥
FROM: Peppermint Twist

[1] I think I know what happened to my underwear.
[2] If you wanted to look at Esau's entry.