Doors

[Tiffani R]

My car is missing. Where are you? I need a new one. WHERE ARE YOU WHERE ARE YOU WHERE ARE YOU There is no food here. YOU HAD BETTER BE ALL RIGHT OR I AM GOING TO KILL THEM ALL

[Sam A]

Were you here working?

[Text to Tiffani's phone, from Tristan's]

I want a fresh salad.

[Another text, from Tristan's phone to Tiffani's]

Or those vegetarian noodles you brought me that one time.

[When that receives no answer, she sends another text.]

Tiffani?

[When that also receives no answer, she tries her cell phone, and then the Ranch phone.]

Ring Ring.

[After talking to Liam]

[Locked to Louis D]
Get your ass on here and talk to me, or I'm going to hunt you down with a blowtorch, and you won't like it.

[Locked to Aiden S]
Back to being yourself, in all your virgin glory?

[Locked to Elias M]
Next time I sound like a well-spoken idiot, you hit me upside the head with something until I act like my regular bitchy self, you got it?

[Locked to Neil D]
How do I even Well, we fucked that up really impressively.

[Joint lock to Tristan M & Tiffani R]
Back to our regularly scheduled programming, robot and rodent.

People need to learn how to drive.  I get that tourists don't know where to turn and stuff, but could they at least use signals? It really isn't that difficult of a concept.

[Group lock to Tristan M and Tiffani R]
Thank you for your hospitality, but I am afraid things have gotten rather complicated for me, and I do not foresee returning to the Ranch for a time. Tristan, I hope to continue my work for you, but I cannot weld at present.

I have to only because no one has said it yet.

MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU!

[Text to Louis D]
I don't care what you're doing. STOP DOING IT AND GET IRIS OUT OF JAIL. They can't arrest two people for the same shit, can they?

[Text to Tifanni R]
[Sent after settling into her temporary accommodations at the Ranch. From bed, because she can't sleep.] So, do you mind being a rodent?

Sam is spending the night at the Ranch. Make sure she has a clean room and that the girls don't harass her.

[As Anonymous. Public.]

Does anyone wake up and notice there were things written in these damn things that they didn't write?

[To Tiffani R]

I don't have any coffee and the grocery guy isn't due until noon. Also, we have no bread, no milk, and no butter. I need another table and the grass needs mowing. Can you hire the guy down the street again? He took his shirt off and someone threatened to pierce his nipples, but he looked like he was going to cry. I want to see it again.

[Edited to add Sam A]
I've got something for you to work on, can I hire you?

[after this]

Evacuating the building is the best way to wake up on a Saturday morning.

Can anyone recommend a safe, cheap motel? Preferably one on a bus route.

RC cars, upon being dismantled, are somewhat like Humpty Dumpty in the fact that they cannot be put back together again. Not duct tape, nor super glue can fix this fuck of a mess. Tiffani I even tried your nail polish.

Build me an army worthy of Mordor. I feel like Sauron might have had better luck.

[Public.]

Daytime TV sucks. Resume writing tips, oh hive brain?

[Noah B.]

Hey can I ask you for a favor?